Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 November 15

User:Timothy Hawkins-Heathco/OKelly
This is my first try at an article and I'd like to get it right. All comments welcome.

Timothy Hawkins-Heathco (talk) 06:50, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Townsend
99.248.222.94 (talk) 12:54, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

Tain & District Field Club
This is a new article. Please comment on improvements required.

Muymalestado (talk) 16:47, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rottenrow/Nigel_Howard_Croft
Like most - my first article. Comments please. Thank you.

Rottenrow (talk) 18:14, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ACP_Rail_International
I've made changes to this article as advised.

Acprail (talk) 18:33, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

Lars Georg Svensson
MeganHet (talk) 19:36, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bashadetroit/Vit_Horejs
I think this is fine, but I have not been able to find out how to link this wiki page with another page in which this actor/performer appears. The link did not work. Vit Horejs was an actor in the film Don't Drink the Water, by Woody Allen. When we put his name as a cast member on the film wiki page, it appeared in red. I think I made some mistake, which I have not found out how to correct. help?!

Bashadetroit (talk) 20:55, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Polygog/Quantum_Keyhole
Polygog (talk) 22:09, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Agatt/SalesGuide.com.au&oldid=394883587
Hi all, my first article. Can I please have some feedback.

Thanks!

Agatt (talk) 22:28, 15 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Of course! This is what we try to do here ;-) I do think there are a few problems with the article's tone and neutrality. To me some parts of the article just sound like an advertisement. Phrases like

promoted sales & events for top labels like

first Australian website to consistently promote sales and email a weekly newsletter

and

recognized SalesGuide.com.au as the top website to find a bargain.

as well as others certainly need to be looked at and improved. Also, I definitely think the article's references need some work. At the moment, it is certainly lacking - you only have the official site and nothing more. Please try and find reliable references and add them to the article, using inline citations to display them. It's much easier that it sounds (honest!) but if you need any help please contact me. Thanks! Chevy monte  carlo  21:41, 18 November 2010 (UTC)

User:M62902/Loch Sloy Hydro-Electric Scheme
Hi - I am aware of a couple of little things that still need to be ironed out regarding this proposed article: 1. There is already an article called 'Loch Sloy' which refers to a ship of that name. I think that under the principle of 'least astonishment' this should be disambiguated in some way and that my article is more likely to be the main article for 'Loch Sloy'. 2. There is an existing redlink which should redirect to this new article: Sloy-Awe Hydro-Electric Power Scheme Thanks! M62902 (talk) 22:29, 15 November 2010 (UTC)

4G Americas Looking for editing suggestions to help eliminate the wording that makes the article appear like an advertisement.
Looking for editing suggestions to help eliminate the wording that makes the article appear like an advertisement?

I have added a number of reliable sources in the reference category, however it still claims it sounds like an advertisement.

Lhorne07 (talk) 00:03, 16 November 2010 (UTC)
 * You may want to read this: Neutral_point_of_view. Thanks. Guoguo12  --Talk--  00:45, 16 November 2010 (UTC)