Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 November 19

User:Bey12345/Sheikh Jerry Lewis Bey
Hello, I would like to have this page added to the wikipedia online directory. Thank you for your help.

Bey12345 (talk) 01:24, 19 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Wikipedia is not an online directory. Your proposed article is an autiobiography that does not provide any indications that you are notable enough for inclusion in Wikipedia.  WikiDan61 ChatMe!ReadMe!! 13:38, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

Stuart_Pimm
I'm writing a bio of Stuart Pimm. Pimm is best known for his work on food chains, and as author of Food Webs and A Scientist Audits the Earth among other works. He's received numerous awards and is among the world's top cited conservation biologists. It's a work in progress, so I'd very much appreciate any suggestions from experienced Wikipedia editors. Thank you!

Allthingstoallpeople (talk) 04:02, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Adhirk/Bedok_Jetty
I would like to have this page added to Wikipedia. Please advise/comment if article is appropriately written.

Everything is Possible... The Impossible just takes longer... (talk) 07:04, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Harrisproductions/Keith_Harris_of_The_Black_Eyed_Peas
Hello, Can I use links on Keith's site, his fb and myspace page as a reliable sources...? Also, if you want me to change name of the article Keith Harris (Black Eyed Peas) do I have to move my whole article to new name of article?

Thank you for the help, hope everything will be okay

Harrisproductions (talk) 10:18, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Rockmysocken/tr%C3%A8s.b
Hey everyone, does this look like an entry to you guys? I'd love some comments! Thanks a lot!

Rockmysocken (talk) 11:24, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:EnjoyReading/Readathon
This is our revised draft. Could you please advise whether it is ready to submit?

Thank you!

EnjoyReading (talk) 13:09, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

List_of_Airports_with_Full_Body_Scanners
I'm not very good at HTML, I used the wizard, but can't figure out how to get my sources to link correctly. The TSA website and the ABC News article are the sources and indicate the relevance of the article, but I'd also like to link to each airport from this article. This seems like useful information but I don't want to include any discussion on the controversy of the subject, that belongs in another article.

Glen.piercev (talk) 13:23, 19 November 2010 (UTC)


 * I don't believe this list is at all useful or appropriate for an encyclopedia. As the full body scanner controversy plays out in the United States (and, most likely, in other nations as well), these scanners will either disappear or become ubiquitous.  The list will need to be updated continuously or eventually deleted if the scanners go away.  Since you do not wish to address the controversy in this list, merely to document the presence of the scanners, you might as well create a list of airports with vending machines.  Absent the controversy, the list is meaningless.  WikiDan61 ChatMe!ReadMe!! 15:33, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

Quality_Control_System_QCS_for_paper,_board_and_tissue_machines
Pls comment.

JE 15:25, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

Over_The_Wall_(band)
Tobywross (talk) 16:33, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

Mark_Featherstone-Witty
Hello! I'd quite like some feedback on the above page which I submitted to Wikipedia earlier this month. Essentially, I'd quite like to get it reviewed by a Wikipedia editor or somesuch to ensure that it meets all of the relevant guidelines, and that I've not done anything wrong.

Thanks in advance,

Christina McDermott

ChristinaMcD (talk) 16:57, 19 November 2010 (UTC)


 * The structure, layout and formatting are OK as far as they go, but the article does have some issues that need addressing. I think the subject probably does meet the notability guidelines, but more evidence of this is needed.  The ‘’’Guardian’’ piece is a good solid reference, but the other citations are either to the organisation’s own website or to Amazon listings of books, neither of which counts as independent media coverage for the purposes of establishing notability.  Without more coverage of this individual in reliable sources, there is a risk that the article could be proposed for deletion on the grounds of lack of notability.  Furthermore, most of the references are about LIPA, not about the subject of the article, and support statements in the text about LIPA rather than about Mr Featherstone-Witty.  LIPA already has a Wikipedia article, which is where facts and statistics about its performance today belong.  This article is about the individual, not the organisation he happens to work for, and cited material should be about him and his activities,
 * The piece urgently needs to be made more neutral and encyclopaedic in tone. At the moment it reads like a cross between a CV and programme notes or a PR piece.  Phrases like: “under his own steam”, “an enjoyable few years teaching in prep schools”, “finding a suitable career ...  was not easy”,  “equally extraordinary timing”, “activities close to his heart” are all warning bells that this articles does not conform to WP:V and WP:NPOV.  Encyclopaedia articles should contain plain, unadorned facts, not opinions or attributed opinions, unless they can be referenced to a published source.  There are absolutely no inline citations to support any of the assertions in the piece about his early life, education and career pre LIPA, or his other activities.

Ka renjc 09:44, 23 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Ronmorris/Clean Air America, Inc.
How may I go about publishing this as a Wikipedia Article?

Ron Morris Jr. 17:03, 19 November 2010 (UTC)


 * I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this article is not even close to being ready for the article namespace:
 * It reads like blatant advertising. If put into the article namespace, it would be speedily deleted as such. Articles should be written from a neutral point of view.
 * It fails to indicate how the subject is notable. If put into the article namespace, it would be speedily deleted for not indicating the importance or significance of its subject.
 * It has several formatting errors:
 * To insert a bulleted list, put an asterisk and no space at the beginning of each line; see WP:BULLET for help.
 * External links should be on the Internet; files on your computer are not visible to the world and are therefore pointless in this respect.
 * The good news is that, because you did this as a userspace draft, it has not been deleted, and therefore, you can improve it. If you have any further questions, let me know. -- Bk314159 (Talk to me and find out what I've done) 21:29, 20 November 2010 (UTC) Edited -- Bk314159 (Talk to me and find out what I've done) 21:30, 20 November 2010 (UTC)

Trevor_Coleman
Hi,

This is my first article -- it's on a guy here in Toronto who is doing cool stuff and I thought qualified as "notable."

I tried to find as many sources as possible. I've got CNN, The National Post, The Toronto Star, Now Magazine and... some others I can't remember.

Anyway, any input is appreciated!

Franks2000inchTV (talk) 17:26, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:The_MuseBox_Canada/Ben_Lovett
Please advise on layout and structure, and also redirecting for the term Ben Lovett.

The MuseBox Canada (talk) 18:10, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

Hello there, I would like to put this short article onto wikipedia and would like someone to kindly check and feedback before i do. Thank you so much for your help. Best regards

Dukesashley (talk) 19:41, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Dukesashley/intact_-_The_Hon_Sir_Joseph_Walton
Hello there, I would like to put this short article onto wikipedia and would like someone to kindly check and feedback before i do. Thank you so much for you're help. Be

Hello there, I would like to put this short article onto wikipedia and would like someone to kindly check and feedback before i do. Thank you so much for your help. Best regards

Dukesashley (talk) 19:52, 19 November 2010 (UTC)


 * The title should almost certainly be be Joseph Walton (judge), per WP:NCP and MOS:HONORIFIC.
 * I assume “1945-1910” should read “1845-1910”? There are a few other copyediting issues too.
 * At the moment the article is a stub. He probably is notable per WP:POLITICIAN, if a Kings Bench appointment makes him a judge who has held office at a national level.  However, the article currently contains no references at all, and even stubs need citations, preferably inline citations,  for the assertions made in them.  See Citing sources and Reliable sources.


 * Ka renjc 20:06, 22 November 2010 (UTC)

Cumberland_Community_Improvement_District
Hello Wikipedia users,

I started this article about the Cumberland CID and it looks like a few others have added to it. I would love for other Wikipedia users/editors to review the page any offer any helpful advice/make changes. Thanks!

Cumberland_Community_Improvement_District

Hhutchins (talk) 22:02, 19 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Joeladrian/Warfighting
Hey all, looking for feedback on my first Wikipedia article! Thanks. I also need guidance on how to disambiguate from an existing redirect of Warfighting.

Joeladrian (talk) 23:39, 19 November 2010 (UTC)


 * I've added a link to the document on a US military site. We can sort out the title later, first you need to find reliable sources that refer to this document to verify the content and show that it is a notable publication (i.e. that we should have a separate article about it). Primary sources such as the document itself, or websites of unknown provenance (i.e. clausewitz.com) won't suffice. I can't find much written about this doctrine - I suggest you instead use what sources you can find to expand United States Marine Corps. Fences  &amp;  Windows  01:36, 23 November 2010 (UTC)