Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 November 29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mjcidc/Mickey_Jack_Cones
Mjcidc (talk) 02:08, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Welcome to Wikipedia! Your article is not (currently) suitable for Wikipedia, as it fails our notability guidelines, which are detailed at this page.
 * Articles require significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject.
 * Unfortunately, your article does not have any references.
 * Without references, your article will be deleted.
 * Please add references, then ask me on my talk page for additional help.
 * To find sources, use the links below:


 * Thank you,
 * ǝɥʇ M0N0 farewell 02:48, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scratch_Beats_Entertainment
This is my first wiki. I started up this record label 2 years ago and trying to expand it, I figured getting us onto wiki would be one of the steps forward. If you could please review it and give me some pointers it would be much appreciated. Thanks

41.134.71.161 (talk) 06:54, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Wikipedia is an encyclopedia, not a vehicle for promotion. Additionally, you need more reliable sources to demonstrate the subject is notable and to support the claims made in the article—overall, you shouldn't be writing about your company. If your subject is notable, someone else will write about it. In the meantime, you can add it to our requested articles page. ǝɥʇ M0N0 farewell 00:50, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scratch_Beats_Entertainment
Pinkaso (talk) 07:08, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordi_Folch_Pi
This is a new article on a *very famous* biochemist that for some reason was missing in Wikipedia ... Please check it out and let me know if references are appropriate, etc. Notability is not an issue.

Rogerfpurcell (talk) 07:11, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Actually, although this guy seems notable, it still is an issue. You need more reliable sources (which prove notability) to back up the claims in the article. Coverage in newspapers (there are plenty of archives), books, anything reliable works. Finally, to help with organization, break the article into sections—see Apple Inc. ǝɥʇ M0N0 farewell 01:08, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Stoakes
I've made changes since the last reviewer's feedback. On notability, I think he qualifies due to his journalistic work and because he is author of such a wide-selling book. Unfortunately I can't find a 'reliable' source on the internet to prove the books are used in training by these big firms. I found out at a talk given by Chris Stoakes, but there's no reference for this.

15jed20 (talk) 11:05, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Rees_(academic)
A new page for Professor Phil Rees - one of the most eminent population geographers around today. Any general feedback appreciated.

Geo5ucf (talk) 13:13, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Slfletcher/Society_of_Ultrasound_in_Medical_Education
The article is about an academic medical society - the society of ultrasound in medical education. Any help/feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!

Slfletcher (talk) 16:10, 29 November 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello,
 * I have looked at the short article that you've started and fixed a few (very minor) formatting issues for you.
 * The biggest issue is a lack of WP:Independent sources. To prevent it being deleted on WP:ORG grounds, we need to know that someone outside of SUME has taken notice of the group.  Has any trade magazine talked about it?  Did anyone announce its founding?  Are its activities discussed in a journal?  If not, then the group probably doesn't qualify for a separate, stand-alone article on Wikipedia (at this time).
 * You might find the WP:BFAQ helpful, although it's written primarily for for-profit businesses. Also, you might like to keep an eye on WP:WikiProject Medicine and "the doctor's mess", a group of volunteers that work on articles like Medical ultrasonography. WhatamIdoing (talk) 21:20, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisco_Unified_Computing_System
Scking73 (talk) 18:15, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

Me-Iung Ting MD (1891 - 1969)
Please edit. I believe the story of Dr. Me-Iung Ting, a Univ. of Michigan, School of Medicine alumnae in 1920 is notable in itself. She also became the director of the Tientsin Women's Hospital from 1922 to 1950. I have gathered the information from the archives of both Mount Holyoke college and the U of Michigan, and newspaper clippings.

Me Iung Ting was the daughter of a prominent Shanghai physician, Ding GanRen. Educated at the prestigious McTyeire Schools for Girls, where the Soong sisters and other daughters of wealthy Shanghinese were sent, she balked at her family's arranged marriage. She ran away to Hong Kong and, without proper documents, but with the help of missionary friends, came to Mt. Holyoke College in 1914. After two years at Mt. Holyoke, she was accepted to study medicine at the University of Michigan Medical College. During her stay in the United States, Ms. Ting was activity in the Chinese student's league and the YMCA International Women's conference. A picture of her from this conference is in the Library of Congress.

Dr. Ting graduated from University of Michigan in 1920, and after training positions in St. Louis, Philadelphia and New York, she returned to China as assistant to another McTyeire graduate, Dr. Li Yuin Tsai, Director of the Peiyang Hospital for Women in Tientsin. Dr, Li passed away suddenly and Dr. Ting assumed the director's position. She returned to the US for additional study in 1928, receiving a Barbour scholarship at the University of Michigan.

Cited by Who's Who in China, as the most prominent female physician in China in 1936, Dr. Ting also was known for her tireless efforts for the underserved and for her outspoken views on feminism and Chinese nationalism. Fiona Paisley's article on the first Pan Pacific Women's Conference recounts Dr. Ting's outspoken oration calling on western women to step aside and let Asian women speak for themselves. Two recent biographical books, Adeline Yeh Mah's Fallen Leaves, and Sasha Welland's One Thousand Miles of Dreams, each describe a female character who held "Dr. Ting" of Tientsin as a role model for Chinese women of the period. A character based on her work also appeared in a well known Chinese drama of the period (need cite).

Dr. Ting's personal correspondence, over 150 letters collected by archivist Donna Albino (http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~dalbino/letters/mting.html), gives her personal view of her work with children and women's medical issues, the condition of Chinese soldiers, the treatment of Japanese detainees following the end of World War II and the flood of Korean refugees fleeing from northern Korea at the start of the Korean Conflict. She was appointed the UNRUH coordinator for Northen China following World War II and was also active in Red Cross and other local civic efforts. Dr. Ting claimed she had delivered over 10000 babies in Tientsin; Yeh's book, and Grace: An American Woman in China 1934-1974 (Cooper and Liu) include accounts of two of those deliveries. Following her father's tradition, she maintained one clinic that served western and well to do Chinese patients and used the proceeds to run a second clinic for those who could not otherwise afford medical care.

When the communist government took over her clinic in 1951, she, like many other western trained Chinese, felt endangered. She fled to Hong Kong and once again stateless and without documentation, managed to find sponsorship to come to the United States. She served as college physician at Tougaloo College in Mississipi, physician at the Womans State Farm in Connecticut and school physician at Fieldcrest School in Massachusetts. She died suddenly in 1969 while attending the AMA convention in New York City.

Paisley, Fiona. Cultivating Modernity: Culture and Internationalism in Australian Feminism's Pacific Age Journal of Women's History - Volume 14, Number 3, Autumn 2002, pp. 105-132

]

Traveler11 (talk) 20:00, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

Freeway Removal
Just want my article checked for cohesion. Thanks.

Redlinenation (talk) 20:34, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jdavid247/Bruce_David
Hello Everyone!

I am attempting to create a page for a notable artist, Bruce David, but wanted to run it by someone who could tell me if I cited things correctly, and if not, what needs work. If anyone could help, I would be VERY appreciative!

Thanks,

Josh

Jdavid247 (talk) 20:36, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doug_Fenske
I submitted this article for feedback on November 16th and haven't heard anything back yet. Please review!

Quitetight008 (talk) 21:44, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * We have quite a backlog of requests, and because we're all real people it takes time for people to answer, sorry. Most of the time there are more requests than the limited amount of reviewers here can deal with. But anyway, as to the article although it is very good from a formatting and layout perspective, I think you need to add more references to prove notability. Chevy  monte  carlo  06:51, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Gahbay/TrackstartheDJ
Gahbay (talk) 22:09, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I've given some feedback below. Chevy  monte  carlo  06:48, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Gahbay/TrackstartheDJ
Trackstar the DJ is an American hip hop and soul DJ best known for his mixtape production.

Gahbay (talk) 22:10, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I have a few suggestions:

I hope all of this is useful, and good luck with your article! Chevy monte  carlo  06:47, 3 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Try and add some more descriptive names to the references, rather than just a bare URL. You can do it like this:
 * The references are lacking in some areas. Without them, the article is likely to be deleted for lack of notability. I know you have some references already but I do think it needs some work, perhaps.
 * Consider adding an infobox and categories, if you can.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eide_Bailly_LLP
Looking for someone to review this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eide_Bailly_LLP

Thank you!

Sadie Rudolph (talk) 22:26, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * To be honest, I think the article is really a bit too long and sounds too much like an advertisement for the company. I think the 'locations' section could do with being written in connected sentences rather than a list. But I think the main issues are the article's length and neutrality. Chevy  monte  carlo  06:41, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

Historic Blenheim
This is my first page and I just wanted to get some general feedback/comments. This page is part of a larger project I am working on for school.

Aurbanski (talk) 22:45, 29 November 2010 (UTC)
 * In general it looks pretty good.
 * I removed the unreviewed template
 * The use of ibid is not supported; see here. It should be easy to fix, if you aren't sure how, just ask.
 * Please consider adding an infobox; there is one especially intended for NHRP sites: Template:Infobox NRHP (Templates can be tricky for new editors - see Jonathan Root House for an example of the use, or ask if you want help)-- SPhilbrick  T  23:08, 3 December 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Heart_Source
Request for review. This charity has been littering my university with fliers about their "volunteer" program, yet there are several school-newspaper articles showing the program A) charges students a hefty fee to "volunteer" and B) may force students to live in unsafe living conditions. I tried to be objective with the text; the reference articles speak for themselves. They are the interviews and blogs of past participants in the program and describe their experience. I think there should be a Wikipedia article about this charity because people need to know what they're getting into.

Hitch42hiker (talk) 00:11, 30 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I see a number of problems with this article:
 * It is poorly organized. It starts with a description of a charity, goes on to allege problems faced by participants, then discusses some financial issues and follows up with some directory type information, all in a single paragraph.
 * Some of the claims appear to be overblown. You mention that one student contracted "malaria as well as amoebas" but it resulted in a six hour hospital visit, hardly a major issue.
 * "Living conditions are suspect" is not referenced.
 * "participants have been hospitalized" You've identified one example. This phrase is hardly appropriate without a reliable source indicating that the incidence is noteworthy.
 * "Amoebic dysentery is frequently encountered in countries with poor sanitation" This sentence may be true, but it appears to be just thrown in without any foundation.
 * "The web site for One Heart Source gives no information on donation statistics or administration overhead." This is Original Research and not allowed.
 * "It is not known what percentage of every dollar donated actually gets to Africa." This is Original Research and not allowed.
 * "Participants must fundraise $2,200" The citation says 2,500. Which is it?
 * Blogs are not using allowed as reliable sources. There are exceptions, but I don't think the exceptions apply here.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:48, 3 December 2010 (UTC)