Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 November 9

User:YoDroz/zChocolat
So sorry for the duplication, but I jumped the gun the first time. Feedback on this article would be appreciated. Thanks!

YoDroz (talk) 06:23, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello and welcome to Wikipedia. Your article needs reliable sources to indicate notability and to back up any claims within your article. Anything in your article should be verifiable by visiting your references—if you can't prove it, you can't write it. Additionally, your article reads more like a press release, advertisement, or promotional piece than an article. Please remember that Wikipedia is an encyclopedia, and not a vehicle for promotion. You need to present the facts verified by references in a neutral tone. For additional information, click the links in this message or contact me on my talk page.  Ⓢ ock   01:41, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

2011 South Asian Winter Games
The article is unreviewed and I am looking for usefull feedback.

Even though the event is public knowledge and the images in public domain on well known websites - Why do i constantly get deletion warnings on my images?

Kindly review the article in order to help me to further contribute to the topic

Bourne002 (talk) 13:04, 9 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Junthree/Tham_Fook_Cheong
I need help to get this published. This guy is a notable person. Please check the news and articles links. THANKS!
 * Hello and welcome to Wikipedia. You don't need to tell us your subject is notable—you need to provide reliable sources to indicate that. Anyone who is notable has been covered significantly in reliable sources. It appears you have some sources, but they don't seem reliable. Try finding news stories or similar items instead of profile pages and database entries. This online search tool should help:

Thanks, ǝɥʇ M0N0 02:00, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

gordonjameslewis@undefinedyahoo.co.uk
is this artical OK

It is a report on How the Moreton Mirage appears only on warm sunny days. The report describes natural phenomenon which is created by atmospheric conditions of warm air and cold air resulting in super refraction

Gordon James Lewis (talk) 14:24, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Your article was deleted per our deletion policy, as it was a copyright violation. Please use your own work on Wikipedia. ǝɥʇ M0N0 02:01, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

Sound of Guns
hello this is my first page on wiki, can you give feedback please and also help posting it live?

will the image i have uploaded be deleted now?

Jojomonster (talk) 15:40, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Your page is live! It looks fairly good, with some reliable sources to indicate notability. The main issue I see currently is the image you uploaded will be deleted, as it has no source information. If you took the photo, just add Own work to the |source= field. Otherwise, please post the website you got it from here. ǝɥʇ M0N0 02:04, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

User:Colleenmurrin/AM Conservation Group, Inc.
I have made a couple of changes/additions to this article on an energy & water conservation company, and would appreciate any feedback. This is the first & only Wikipedia article I have worked on, so I am grateful for any feedback and reviews that will help to get the article live. Thank you!

Colleenmurrin (talk) 18:00, 9 November 2010 (UTC)

Mitchell J. Blutt
I met Dr. Blutt this summer and thought he was very interesting. It seems he was the first truly successful doctor to turn to finance and become successful investing in healthcare. After we spoke a number of times I googled him and read up on his achievements in a number of notable publications. I thought what he did was noteworthy and as a fan of Wikipedia, I thought he should be written up. So I did it and had fun. Now I need feedback to make sure my style does not appear biased and that my references are sufficient and properly displayed. Thanks in advance for any thoughts or comments you may have that help me include this fellow in the world of Wiki.

Playa516 (talk) 20:03, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I have a few suggestions:

I hope my suggestions are useful! Chevy monte  carlo  - alt 19:59, 13 November 2010 (UTC)
 * You've tried to add names to your references, which is great, but it's not quite right. Here is an example:
 * Some parts sound like an advertisement. I think you might want to take another close look at some section names and sentences to make sure they are neutral in tone.
 * I think the addition of an infobox might be useful.

Safe Donor Zone
When you have a moment, please kindly review this listing to determine its neutrality and notability.

Carloskw (talk) 20:20, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * I think some parts of the article sound like an essay, which is not really encouraged in Wikipedia articles. For more information on the more preferred kinds of tone and language style here, see WP:TONE or WP:POV. As to the references in the article, for the journal/magazines you have at the moment you can use the cite book or cite journal templates, as they are more specific and more suitable to printed references. I hope you understand! Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:51, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

Audiobrain
I recently created this article and am looking for someone to check it to make sure it follows Wikipedia standards. Thanks!

Dmarom (talk) 21:26, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * It looks fairly good, as the company has done work for major corporations. I've done a little cleanup, but overall, good job! Now that the article is created, you may be interested in developing it. ǝɥʇ M0N0 02:14, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

Agharia
The status of the article (on "Agharia") is "new unreviewed".Can anyone kindly review it. I have provided the link of the book(source) I have referred to while writing this article. It is a book available in "project guttenberg"

Waiting for a review

Amar 2103 (talk) 21:57, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * You need to use footnotes to display your references correctly. Also, I don't think the one reference is enough really - try and find some web-based references if you can. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:44, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

Mike_Vensel
This article is about an American Fashion Designer

Conceptfw (talk) 22:14, 9 November 2010 (UTC)
 * The article's subject seems notable, and you have done a great job so far, but I do think you need to add more references. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 19:41, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

Corrick Family Entertainers
I have just moved this article - my first - into main namespace. Thanks to earlier feedback I have done considerable tidy-up and added extra references and information. I would welcome any feedback.

Tashobbs (talk) 23:08, 9 November 2010 (UTC)


 * Only had a very quick look; watch out for white space at the end of sections. Also, the article seems to lack categories and is orphaned. The lead is short and could probably do with fleshing out a bit too; for example, what sort of entertainment? What was their most famous act? Which press were critically acclaiming them? Did any press criticise them too? Someone else maybe able to add further feedback, but it seems like a good effort for a first article to me; well done so far! - JVG (talk) 00:39, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

PUT TITLE HERE within []
Bembridge School Chapel is definitely an important national heritage Listed Building.

Is there anybody with knowledge of Bembridge School Chapel?

There is an internal Wikilink to Bembridge School which gives some detail of the Chapel.

English Heritage and heritage-gateway website do have it but I cannot find the exact weblinks. Could anyone please add them for me? I would be so grateful.

I know there is a reference to Edward Woore in the English Heritage Listing but I do not have this as a weblink. Again I would be most grateful if there is anyone with photographs of the stained glass that can be added here.

Thank you so much

GREERA

GREERA (talk) 23:33, 9 November 2010 (UTC)

User:GREERA/Enter your new article name here
I do not have the weblinks for this Bembridge School Chapel except for one external link which I have placed here.

I know that there is a listing of this Group Value Grade II Listed Building by English Heritage. I know it is somewhere on the heritage-gateway website but I could not find it on a Google search.

I do not have photographs myself of Bembridge School Chapel and they only exist online in other websites. I think there is a stop put here by Wikipedia so that I cannot link urls of photos.

Edward Woore stained glass window is part of the "listing" of the Listed Building by English Heritage but I have no photographic evidence. I have placed a link to the one external site which indicates the war memorial.

Thank you very much for your help. It does need considerable extension and I am sure that there are people out there who can fill in the history and gaps.

Best wishes

GREERA

GREERA (talk) 23:40, 9 November 2010 (UTC)