Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 October 2

User:LloydTaylor1/George_Samuel_%22Golden_Hawk%22_Sizemore
Is this person notable enough to publish?

LloydTaylor1 (talk) 05:52, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Please read Notability. Published third-party sources are required to establish notability. Unpublished primary documents constitute original research, so you might read: No original research. Since this person would not qualify as notable enough to have an article about him, what you might do is create a history section in the Hawkins County, Tennessee article. All statements made about a person have to be verifiable. -Uyvsdi (talk) 18:12, 2 October 2010 (UTC)Uyvsdi

Goldfarb Branham LLP
Looking for feedback and a review. Thanks!

Todd827 (talk) 07:19, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
 * The article's brief but nicely done :) It doesn't even sound like an advertisement like many company articles similar to yours do, which is excellent, so I can't even suggest that needs to be improved! You might want to consider expanding the article or maybe adding more references, but really I think it's fine. Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 18:39, 4 October 2010 (UTC)

Jonathan Goldman
I've edited the Jonathan Goldman article again based on GB Fan's critique and would like some new feedback. Thanks.

Cda3001 13:16, 2 October 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello there, Cda3001! :) Good work on the article. However, I think the critique is just, and we'll need to improve the article's style to make sure it's appropriate for Wikipedia. Let's see..

I hope these comments will be of use to you. :) Cordially, → Clementina  [  Scribble  ] 07:00, 3 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Remember, we need significant coverage from reliable sources which are independent of the subject. The main problem with this article, I think, is the sources. Nothing written by the subject or paid-for by the subject is independent. We should try not use a website about a group the subject founded (like here), or a book that the subject wrote (like here). Let's see if we can find stronger, more reliable sources that are more neutral, okay? :) We need these to prove the subject's notability better.
 * The style and tone needs to be more neutral. Descriptions such as "..sacred chanting of ancient mantras is said to be encoded with healing properties and to be of great benefit to its listeners", "..a highly privileged and rare honor", and "Goldman's brother is a dermotologist to the stars in Beverly Hills, who has treated many luminaries of Hollywood, including Frank Sinatra" need to be more neutral and more encyclopedic. :) You might be interested in reading our manual of style for more specific details. I've tried to cut down the introduction to make it shorter (longer doesn't mean better - we need quality, not quantity) and a bit more neutral here. I hope this will give you some good ideas how to make it sound more neutral.

Miss spider apps
An overview of the Miss Spider apps for iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch

New page for review

Jboud (talk) 17:10, 2 October 2010 (UTC)


 * "Apps in Series" is unreferenced.


 * "Modes of Play" goes into too much detail, and is mostly unreferenced; see WP:NOTGUIDE. I suggest you merge all those subsections together, and keep the descriptions of the operation brief, and referenced to independent reliable sources.


 * "Reception" contains a couple of external links; they should not be in the body-text (and should probably just be removed) - see WP:EL.


 * The three "Link to purchase" are inappropriate, spam. See WP:EL.  Chzz  ► 20:14, 4 October 2010 (UTC)

David James (South African Actor)
I just cannot figure out how to list a reference once and then include it in more than one spot in the article. I have one reference listed three times; if someone could just clean up this part of the article, that would be greatly appreciated!

71.238.45.181 (talk) 19:07, 2 October 2010 (UTC)


 * It looks like you figured out named references for yourself.


 * However, I've no idea what http://152.111.1.88/ is, and I don't think it is a reliable source. Same for blogs, downloads, and so on. You need references to better sources, such as published newspapers; something with a 'reputation for fact-checking and accuracy'.  Chzz  ► 20:17, 4 October 2010 (UTC)

Dario Campanile Notable Persons Biography
Hello there...am working on getting a completed page up for master painter, Dario Campanile and am having trouble with the quality and alignment of the images. The quality in particular is weird...looks just fine on the wikicommons page, but nearly unrecognizable when inserted into the article.

The images is my primary issue, but of course I'd appreciate any feedback on the other aspects of the article as well (notability/verifiability, etc.) if you have time/interest. Don't want it to get deleted! :)

User:Sungila/Enter_your_new_article_name_here

Cheers,

Sungila (talk) 00:19, 3 October 2010 (UTC)


 * Not sure why the thumbnails are broken, so I've reported it in Village pump (technical).


 * Otherwise...the article relies far too much on IMDB, discogs, and listings in sites selling the things; those are not appropriate independent, reliable sources. (Well, there is considerable debate over IMDB, but it certainly shouldn't be relied on for 'profile' type information).


 * There are also problems with neutrality, and there are unreferenced claims, e.g. Campanile's work is noted for its intense realism and the sincerity of his surrealistic exploration. His works have been shown in both solo and group exhibitions around the world, most recently as one of the 85 artists chosen for the multi-media art exhibition entitled, The Missing Peace: Artists Consider the Dalai Lama.

 Chzz  ► 20:27, 4 October 2010 (UTC)

The Poetry Forum
Hello-- This is my first article. Short and heavily footnoted. I wanted to make sure I had followed all of your guidelines well.

Also, I had originated the article in my Userpage, then had to change the title when I finally found out that the name in the Articles of Incorporation is, indeed, The Poetry Forum, Inc., instead of Poetry Forum. I accidentally saved the new titled article under the "live" spot. So I need to delete my old article.

Finally, I have a second article in my Userspace that I'm still working on and which I'll send to you shortly on Rhino Poetry.

Thanks and best regards, Ann aka Tuttitalia

Tuttitalia (talk) 02:39, 3 October 2010 (UTC)


 * External links are better formatted as, for example, This is Google which appears as: This is Google. I fixed the two in this article.


 * See WP:CHEATSHEET.


 * I added it to a couple of categories.


 * I removed the 'unreviewed' tag.


 * It would be helpful if you could add more details to the references. For example, "The writer" - I do not know what this is. I guess it is a magazine or something...could you add the publisher and their location, and preferably the ISSN if there is one, so that people can locate it to check the facts.  Chzz  ► 20:34, 4 October 2010 (UTC)


 * Your references support your factual statements about the organization, such as its source of funding, but I can't see any evidence that it is notable enough by Wikipedia standards to be the subject of an encyclopaedia article. Take a look at the two relevant guidelines: the general notability guideline and the notability criteria for organizations.  The article needs to satisfy at least one of them.  Without sources showing that The Poetry Forum, Inc. has received significant reliable independent coverage, it is at risk of deletion.   Ka renjc 20:42, 4 October 2010 (UTC)