Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 October 26

Skippers Canyon
I created this article new and would like you to see if it fits into Wikipedia. I worked through the help pages and I believe the content is ok. I mentioned the resources where ever they suited. The pictures are all mine. The intend with this article is to publish something about Skippers Canyon as more and more people whom I am dealing with ask questions. Thanks for your feedback.

YSander (talk) 00:40, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

User:Paulworks/John Gross (musician)
Repeat of 16th October request which got no response. This article is about an American Jazz musician who I saw referenced in several wiki pages but did not have a wikipedia entry himself. This is my first article. Since my first draft I have made several edits based on the wikipedia guides and existing pages for other musicians and now would appreciate any feedback and if you think it is ready to request a move. Thanks for your time.

Paulworks (talk) 04:08, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * I think overall the article is nicely written and set out, although I do think that you should perhaps add some references that are on somewhere online, in addition to the printed references you already have (of course, if you can't find any, then you won't be able to, but it would overall improve your references considerably). Other than that, I think the article is about ready to be moved into the main space. Nice work so far and good luck with your new article!  Chevy  monte  carlo  - alt 18:08, 28 October 2010 (UTC)

This Is Home %28Every Breath Is Magic%29
I made a new version!...

Corneliamayflower (talk) 09:23, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

Tinker Bell %282008 film%29
Corneliamayflower (talk) 09:53, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm very surprised that there's no article about this already, as it seems like quite a major film. I can't seem to find any major problems; you have done a good job with the references. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:29, 28 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, there seems to already be a similar article on Wikipedia, Tinker Bell (film). As the messages on your talk page state, please don't duplicate article content. I'm not sure this article needs to be on Wikipedia as Tinker Bell (film) seems to already cover much of what your article has. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:32, 28 October 2010 (UTC)

User:Paintedstork/Checklist of Birds of Kerala
This page is created as a bird checklist of Kerala state, India. Being an important bird-watching destination, such a checklist in Wiki was really required. This is fully based on a published checklist as quoted in the reference. Request reviewer(s) to do a cursory check on the format, linkage with other Wiki pages, templates, categories etc so that this page gels well with the rest of the wiki pages. thanks in advance

Paintedstork (talk) 12:53, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * The formatting and links are very well done; I don't think there are any issues there. You seem to have done a decent job although I'm not sure how the article is going to fit in with other pages, but I don't see any problems with it as to how it's set out or the content.. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:24, 28 October 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Liannamj/RubyHammer&oldid=392992470
Liannamj (talk) 13:43, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Some suggestions:

worked in the beauty industry for over 25 years and is one of the best-known and most respected makeup artists in the world. certainly need to be looked at. Apple which would create a link to the Apple article. Chevy monte  carlo  14:52, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * It sounds like an advertisement in many places. Phrases like
 * You need some sections. See that link for more information. It makes the article more comfortable to read.
 * You're supposed to cite the references next to the particular statement that the reference link 'proves' (for lack of a better word), not put all the citations in the references section. Please send me a message if you need any help with that.
 * Currently, the article hasn't really got any links to other, related articles, so please try and add some, like this:

User:dmargolius/ActivePath
Dmargolius (talk) 13:50, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * You have a few notable references although it does just sound like an advertisement in places. Phrases like

combines advanced web technology(active content, Java scripts, AJAX, flash, forms, etc.) with the personalization and "push" capabilities of email and Actionable alerts and notifications Payments Paperless e-statements Special offers and discounts to targeted customers Secure, two-way email interaction with customers just make it sound like an advertising brochure or leaflet for the company. I certainly think you need to take a look at that; see WP:TONE and WP:Neutrality for more information. Finally, consider adding more references as well if you can, as it's certainly lacking. You might want to add some names to the references as well, like this: It gives the reader a better idea of what the link being used as a reference is, rather than just a bare URL. Hope you understand. Chevy monte  carlo  14:47, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the excellent feedback. I will work on the changes you suggested, as well as adding references.Dmargolius (talk) 08:00, 27 October 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem! Feel free to make another request when you're ready. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:19, 28 October 2010 (UTC)

Boone Helm
This is my first article. Any suggestions would be welcome. Thanks

70.56.10.164 (talk) 14:17, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * It's a nice start, although I think you need to add more links. I also think you need to work on the references - don't forget you can use the cite book template to properly cite books; it might be easier than just using the Google books links. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:42, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, I will work on the references.

User:Modernmonk/Harvard%27s Chinese Stele
This entry is about the history of Harvard University's Chinese Stele.

Modernmonk (talk) 14:25, 26 October 2010 (UTC)
 * I think the opening paragraph might need some work. To someone new to the subject, I don't think it provides that much of an introduction. I also think that you perhaps might need to find some web-based references as well if you can; although I can imagine it might be hard. Chevy  monte  carlo  14:37, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

Hamilton Lane
Article about a private equity firm named Hamilton Lane. Would like someone to review to make sure the article is objective and remove new unreviewed article tag.

Wildcats9801 (talk) 14:44, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

BB%26T Insurance Services, Inc.
there is a period at the end of the url

Frankschmidt (talk) 14:49, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

User:K wuy/EternalS Project
I created a page for a European project called EternalS and I would like some feedback. Also, it would be great if this page could be moved to the mainspace (because apparently I am not yet allowed to do this myself).

K wuy (talk) 15:01, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

Port Victoria Maritime Museum
Please have a look over this new wikipedia page that my Mum wrote (she voluntarily looks after the museum) and I have edited it substantially to add a reference and links to make it more interesting.

I think the page is a very worthy candidate for inclusion into wikipedia as a fairly high value article.

Thanks for your work. Aclister (talk) 16:26, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

subpage created in error

User:Ninjadogcom/Power Tool Institute
Does this article meet Wiki Guidelines?

Ninjadogcom (talk) 17:09, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

Michael C. Fina
This article has been adjusted to reflect neutrality and there are good sources noted. Who removes the citation boxes at the top of the article?

63.115.59.2 (talk) 19:29, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

User:Bravehrt77/Seven Kingdoms (band)
Hello everyone. I have created a draft of my page.

All media on this page, videos, and pictures, has the express permission of the band and the management company, and, all parties involved. Those permissions were then uploaded, using standard guidelines, to Wikipedia for archiving.

I have not heard back from Wikipedia yet, and it's been over a week.

I am posting this page, with notability, and verifiable information, for approval, so I do not get CSD'ed.

I have provided examples of notability as per Wikipedia guidelines.

Please provide feedback, as I look to publish this page once all criteria are met.

Thanks.

Bravehrt77 (talk) 20:02, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

User:Lac.ideas/Domestic Liability Dollarization
Dear Colleagues: This is the first time we are posting an article on Wikipedia, and we would like to request your feedback to ensure that the article meets Wikipedia standards for links and references. We would additionally like to receive any comments that could otherwise improve the content and quality of the article. Best regards,

Andrés Gómez-Peña and John Dunn Smith

As requested see a brief summary of the concept (article).

The article refers to an economic concept known as Domestic Liability Dollarization (DLD). DLD refers to the denomination of banking system deposits and lending in a currency other than that of the country in which they are held.

Researchers have attributed a variety of both positive and negative effects to DLD. The benefits are largely found at the household and firm levels in the short to medium term. These benefits include insurance against inflation and currency devaluation, as well as permitting long-term lending and borrowing through the use of a relatively stable currency.

In contrast, the real or potential costs of DLD exist largely at the systemic level and over the long term. When DLD is widespread, economic actors are often required to experience a currency mismatch between domestically denominated income and dollar-denominated liabilities, which represent the only available means of long-term borrowing. Currency mismatches are a particular danger for firms and sectors in non-tradable goods and services. Countries with high levels of DLD, moreover, are often afflicted as well with “Original Sin,” a country’s inability to borrow in its own currency. While the resulting vulnerability may not be apparent in normal times, it can be revealed during turbulent times, even in the absence of a major crisis.

LAC ideas 22:03, 26 October 2010 (UTC)

User:Tashobbs/Corrick Family Entertainers
I would appreciate some feedback for my first article, on the Corrick Family Entertainers. Am I on the right track, or do I need to make some fundamental changes?

Tashobbs (talk) 00:11, 27 October 2010 (UTC)


 * You're very much on the right track. There are a couple of typos, but other than that you have satisfied WP:N, WP:V and WP:NPOV.  Good job.   Ka renjc 17:08, 29 October 2010 (UTC)


 * Many thanks, I appreciate the feedback. Tashobbs (talk) 03:03, 30 October 2010 (UTC)