Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 September 23

Sanatana Dharma College, Alappuzha.
Please review this article.

Motherslovepurelove (talk) 04:38, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The main issue with the article is that it does not include any references. A reference, or reliable source, is an independent publication that backs up the facts presented in your article. References are needed so that any reader can verify that the information in the article is not just made-up. For example, a good reference would be a news article, book, magazine article, journal article, etc. about the college. References should not go to Twitter, MySpace, YouTube, etc. as these are not considered reliable sources. Also, using the college's own website is not a good reference because it is not independent. / ƒETCH COMMS  /  00:34, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

Rusty frank
I am requesting feedback for an article I have created for a dancer and cultural historian, Rusty Frank. Thank you!

K.E. Baker (talk) 08:09, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Make sure not to include links to external (non-Wikipedia) websites in the actual text of the article. External links should be in the "External links" section, but only include the most relevant links.


 * Overall, the article seems OK, but there are some issues with the references. Please make sure to link to a specific page of a website, not just their home page. This occurs on references 7, 13, and 16. Linking to the specific location of the reference allows the reader to easily verify the information in your article. / ƒETCH COMMS  /  00:40, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

Malcolm VandenBurg
Hi since my last request for feedback I have reduced the publications list, reformatted it and added more externally verifiable referneces.

Any feedback gratefully received

Lexgenn (talk) 10:02, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The article needs to use prose more often. Under "Other positions", the first paragraph is not made of sentences, just fragments/listings, so please use complete sentences. This also applies to the three subsections of "Drug Development Programmes". For the publications list, I recommend simply removing the listing altogether. It is not particularly relevant to the rest of the article and does not have any real benefit. If a specific publication has received an unusual amount of coverage, you may mention that one or two, but the current listing should be removed. Please also remove the first paragraph of the "Commercial articles" section, for similar reasons.


 * Please also add more references. All non-obvious (e.g., "the earth is not flat") facts and information in the article is expected to be backed up by a reliable source/reference. If there is not any independent, reliable source (e.g., books, magazines, news articles, journals) for a statement in your article, the statement may be removed. / ƒETCH COMMS  /  00:49, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

Jim Savarino (musician)
I would like comments on my article about Jim Savarino, especially regarding use of citations - are the citations provided sufficient?

Ghostwriterinthesty (talk) 14:06, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The article itself seems fine; however, I would like to see more citations overall. This will help show why he is a notable person, as well as back up all the facts in the article. / ƒETCH COMMS  /  00:51, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

The Life Doctor
A short article about a play which is the source of lots of interest in cambridge, and in the comedy world. I have tried to reference anything approriate. Thanks!

Rmason8888 (talk) 14:12, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The first reference is not independent of the subject, as it goes to a site affiliated with the play. The second reference goes to a page that has to do with Wang, not the play. Therefore, there are no independent, reliable sources in the article currently that actually discuss the play. This means that I cannot see why this play is notable enough for its own Wikipedia standards. In other words, why is it famous or important enough to warrant its own Wikipedia article? (E.g., has it won any awards, or has it been covered in-depth by multiple independent publications, such as news articles, books, magazines, journals, etc.?) If you cannot show why this play is notable enough for a Wikipedia article, the page may be deleted. / ƒETCH COMMS  /  00:55, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

User:Purringtiggra/Enter your new article name here
Informative article about Lord John Trayner, Father of the Bar in Edinburgh who released the book Latin Maxims and Phrases.

Purringtiggra (talk) 15:51, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The article needs an introduction section. Currently, it reads "John Trayner, Lord Trayner new article content ...". You should simply remove that line, as well as the first section heading ("Lord John Trayner") and let the paragraph reading "Lord John Trayner (1834-1929) was an..." be the introduction.


 * The article reads like a timeline (and indeed, the last half is a timeline). Please remove the "Chronology" section altogether, and incorporate the facts there into prose, or complete sentences/paragraphs.


 * I cannot tell whether the references presented are enough for the article. References, or reliable sources, are required to back up all the facts in your article. You should show which references back up which specific facts by "citing" them using Wikipedia's footnote system, with instructions on doing so here. Please also add more references (such as books, news articles, magazines, journals, etc.) so all the information may be verified by others. / ƒETCH COMMS  /  01:00, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

Rawal Umed Singh Rathore Barmer
Hi, I wrote an article about Rawal Umed singh rathore barmer (Barmer royal family). Please do review the article. Advance thanks for everything.

Abhimanyu singh rathore (talk) 18:33, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * The references aren't the best. Please try and add reliable, third-party references to the article, preferably using inline citations to display them correctly. However, I do like the work you've done with the categories and infobox/picture, well done for that. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:29, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

User:AHowardM/Thad Vreeland Jr. biography of noted materials scientist
request feedback with respect to validity of references and suggestions for depth in research work cited

AHowardM (talk) 23:58, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * You might want to add an infobox, and some more web references as well, because at the moment they don't appear to be very good. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:26, 26 September 2010 (UTC)

User:Teojs/Koh_Seow_Chuan
Hi, I would appreciate your comments on this bio-stub User:Teojs/Koh Seow Chuan about a prominent Singaporean architect, philatelist and philanthropist. Thanks. Teojs (talk) 03:01, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * It's not bad. I think that the prose and the referencing style could be improved. - Reconsider  | speak  04:33, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

Sanatana Dharma College, Alappuzha.
Motherslovepurelove (talk) 04:38, 23 September 2010 (UTC)
 * You need independent references, not just the college's own website. The University of Kerala's website might be a useful reference, but even that is not really independent. Try Kerala state government publications and city publications. What does the local press say about the college? Any mentions in state newspapers? Itsmejudith (talk) 14:55, 27 September 2010 (UTC)