Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 April 11

User:CCDaniels/Shadow_Strikers
This is my first article, so any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance.

CCDaniels (talk) 01:57, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ I did some basic Wikify; to see changes, go to the article's History tab, and use the engine to observe the differences between your versions and mine. Pretty basic format stuff.  However, the article is not ready to go live, as you need more sourcing to meet the standards of WP:Notability (film).  I suggest your ask for technical expertise at the Discussion pages of  WP:WikiProject Toys and WP:WikiProject Film.  MatthewVanitas (talk) 02:18, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Jlk18000/Knain
Basically I started my account here at Wikipedia a few days ago, I thought that the best place for me to start would be something simple, something I have a whole lot of information on, my last name! It's not 100% finished yet, but for the most part it should be ready to throw up onto mainspace soon.

Jlk18000 (talk) 05:50, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Greetings, I've moved your article to User:Jlk18000/Knain; your main Userpage is for info about yourself and your Wiki interests, badges for affiliation with WikiProjects, etc. When making a draft, it's best to start it as a new article under your username (username/article name). Also, not yet ready for publication, as it has no references/footnotes, so we have no way of knowing where this information came from. Check GoogleBooks and similar resources for reliable sources (see WP:RS) that can substantiate the statements in your article. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:05, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the quick reply, Sorry about the incorrect placement on the page, I'm still getting used to the Wiki editing system. Also, I realize theres no references because all of the information comes from an unpublished book I have in my families possession passed down from family member to family member. With the size and secluded nature of my family, the only information on our family name is either common knowledge in Norway, or inside the "book" in my possession. Also on the same note, I noticed another surname page on the main space called Henderson (surname) and it does not have any references or citations either. Is this incorrect and just needs to be edited or is it acceptable? Jlk18000 (talk) 20:56, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Geeta Nargund
Please feel free to give any feedback about this article.

Jamesvanderzee (talk) 12:15, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Gave it a brief check, mainly for structure, and did some basic wikify. The prose is a bit dense, and also don't use "&" unless it's in a specific term/title. The main issue is that you're a bit skimpy on footnotes, which are fundamentally required for Biographies of Living People (BLP) to prevent innaccuracy and libel.  Add more footnotes (check out the benchmark at WP:Notability (academics).  Also, in your "Further reading" and "External links", items should only be included there if they somehow touch on Nargund, not simply "things someone reading this article might like", IVF-related topics, etc.  Hope this helps. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:10, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Valor (book)
Need help finding more sources and more links to the page. Thanks everyone!

Speaker107 (talk) 14:21, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Hello, made some basic formatting changes; to see those, hit the History tab of your article and use the buttons to view the difference between my drafts and yours. That'll give you some idea of standard formatting for your future articles.  So far as sourcing, please read WP:Notability (books) to get an idea for how book articles are best sourced; you can also check in for input at the Discussion page of WP:WikiProject Books. MatthewVanitas (talk) 15:46, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * I need help getting a pic of the book cover (copy and paste from smashwords? theres a link to it in the article sources) into the article. Just be sure to include proper copyright. I would do it myself just have no idea how the copyright stuff works. Speaker107 (talk) 19:24, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * For info on that, read WP:Fair use. Long/short, you can upload book cover images, but they must be low-res, and only posted to the specific article the picture is the subject of.  Totally doable, but make sure to read that document, as well as Image use policy.  A lot of people mess up the upload form the first time, so check your Talk page for any "image copyright" error messages, and if you get one troubleshoot your image upload form to make sure your image doesn't get deleted. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:33, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Levenger Company
Thanks for reviewing.

Grattan33 (talk) 16:04, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Did some basic wikify/format. Please hit the "History" tab and use the track differences buttons to see what I changed. You also need more third-party references; right now you just have one mention from a magazine (and advertising in the NYT doesn't count as a reference).  I added one category, but you need to find other applicable business cats to add. Take care, MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:18, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

TwentyWonder
Please review article and remove template.

EFthecollective (talk) 16:20, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Main immediate problem: your categories are way too broad.  Cats should be the most specific cats applicable.  So if you have a car factory in Los Angeles, it doesn't go in "Cars" and "California", it goes in "Factories in Los Angeles" and "Car factories in California" (since there's no "car factories in California" cat in this theoretical example).  So refine your cats down.  Also you need more neutral, third-party reliable sources, as your only one now is the LA Times article. Your other links aren't to reliable sources, they're to primary sources, fansites, etc. MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:44, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

user:Parisispeedschool/Parisi Speed School
I would like to receive feedback on the article in general and to see if it is ready to go live.

Parisispeedschool (talk) 16:48, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Definitely not ready to go live yet. You have no categories, your references are all PSS-run pages, and you have not yet demonstrated Notability.  Please read Notability (organizations and companies).  Do not remove the tags without fixing the issues; recommend you fix first and then check back here to see about removing the tags.  Definitely don't go live yet, as you would hit Speedy Deletion criteria; safest to keep it as a draft on your Userspace until it's fine-tuned. MatthewVanitas (talk) 17:15, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

New Jersey Turnpike Smog Accident
First post - please check for appropriateness, completeness, formatting.

Xaphanos (talk) 16:50, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Made some formatting changes (hit the article's History button and compare differences to learn the fixes for your future reference). Also tagged the article for several issues; please address them and then check in back here so we can remove the tags after review. MatthewVanitas (talk) 17:03, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * For sourcing, note that a GoogleBooks search for "New Jersey Turnpike October 23, 1973" turns up a bunch of possibilities: . Note that for gBooks links, you can automatically turn them to footnotes using http://reftag.appspot.com . MatthewVanitas (talk) 17:38, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Being such a raw beginner with Wikipedia, I do not (yet) know how to properly thank you for all of the help - or even where. I will do my "homework" and learn how be a responsible contributor. In the meanwhile - thank you so much for the guidance and help. Xaphanos (talk) 18:09, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Not a problem at all. So far as "thanks", just keep making well-formatted, properly-sourced articles.  If you like, once you get familiar with the proceses, you could always come back and lend a hand from time-to-time here at RfF, or pitch in at New Page Patrol, or any other page for helping newbies.  Just spend a little time reading some of the basic policy guidelines to get a feel for it and I think you'll be in great shape.  Feel free to ping me on my Talk page if you hit any obstacles. MatthewVanitas (talk) 18:28, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Jacob's Well (Texas)
I wrote up a new page last night and made it live. So far, I know of one other WP editor who has looked at it (he suggested that I add more references to the body, which I did). Wikipedia says that the template at the top should be removed after the article has been reviewed by someone other than me, so I guess that is the next thing the article needs. Although I have more material that I could add to it, I think the content is fine as it is. The references probably need re-formatting.

Pooua (talk) 18:31, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Reviewed. Looks great, but needs categories (see WP:Category).  Also make sure you add  and  to the top of the article's Discussion page . MatthewVanitas (talk) 18:34, 11 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you! I'll begin working on your suggestions. Pooua (talk) 18:41, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Robert Zausner/Thomas R. Kline
Please help. I am trying to post this article but I'm not sure if it is formatted correctly. This is the second time I'm posting for feedback. My january post was never answered. Thank you.

Robert Zausner (talk) 20:13, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Several format issues: primarily don't manually indent, that throws all your text into a box (you may have noticed), so never put a space to start a line. Next, you're doing footnotes manually, which is harder work than necessary and also very difficult to smoothly update.  Instead, read WP:Footnotes for how to let Wikipedia automatically number your footnotes for you.  Also note there how to type footnotes so that the long links just become clickable blue text in the title. However, the primary issue you have here is the lack of secondary sources; almost all your footnotes are from the Kline law firm.  Please read Notability (people) for guidelines on how you have to document the notability of people. Hope this helps; sorry yours didn't get covered before, but RfF is all volunteers, so if nobody felt like doing a particular request that day, it might just not happen. MatthewVanitas (talk) 20:20, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Samcicero/Valpurgis
Feedback?

97.94.97.20 (talk) 22:56, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * I've userified your article (moved it to your drafting Userspace), as band articles with no established notability are automatically deleted. As a basic guideline for what you have to meet in order to publish, check out Notability (music).  If you're thick-skinned and appreciate humour, the non-policy No one cares about your garage band lays out the matter in a blunter fashion.  If you can source your article, rock on, otherwise it can't publish and will be Speedy Deleted if it does.  You can imagine we're pretty picky about bands. MatthewVanitas (talk) 00:39, 12 April 2011 (UTC)

Helena Wong Kar Mun
Please give me some feedback on this article which i have been working on. Any constructive feedback will be most welcome. Many thanks in advance.

Lizkywong (talk) 23:11, 11 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Nice work, very thorough sourcing. Published. MatthewVanitas (talk) 00:52, 12 April 2011 (UTC)

User: Fziaullah82/Mastana
Fziaullah82 (talk) 00:10, 12 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Greetings, I have made some basic changes (check the article's History tab to see what I did), and left you "tags" at the top of the article to explain what needs to be done. The tags include links which can direct you to guidelines as to what needs to be done to improve the article before publishing.  The primary issue is to establish WP:Notability by finding footnotes to published books or news sources that can verify (WP:Verifiability) the statements made in the article.  Those footnotes are required before the article can be published, to make sure that the statements made about Mr Mastana are accurate and verified in print. MatthewVanitas (talk) 04:43, 12 April 2011 (UTC)