Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 April 20

Melinda Hill
Hi -- I'm new to Wikipedia and submitted this article on comedian/actress Melinda Hill. I have some alerts on the page now stating that I needed more internal links and I have added those. I do feel I have added reliable sources and was sure to not include blogger type of information. Anything else you can see that might help me improve the page so far? Thanks.

Markasey (talk) 00:28, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * The only issues I see at the moment are: it should be written in a more formal style, and maybe tone down the end just a bit. Good first article! Sumsum2010 · T · C  03:24, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * I agree with the above poster on a couple of things - First off, good job on your first article! I also agree as far as the tone - It sounds a bit promotional, with the bits about performing in "the hottest comedy spots" and such. The other area of improvement you'll want to address are the references. See how the first one indicates the title of the article, etc etc? Have a look here: Citation Templates for some further help in setting these up. Foofish (talk) 05:26, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Jesse.millett/Jin Feibao
Jesse.millett (talk) 07:55, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Fredmw/Frederic Joseph Walker Memorial Fountain, Hyde Park, Sydney ,Australia
Hello This is my first article & have had considerable trouble getting this far. I have a fair bit more information but would like to keep the article short & sweet. I will continue to refine as I process the information I have. I have been unable to upload images of the Memorial as I seem to get logged out but then my loggin is not accepted. I will look forward to any comments.

Fredmw (talk) 08:41, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Josheastman/JO
Josheastman (talk) 10:51, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Couple things: first off, you have a WP:Conflict of interest here; it's generally a very bad idea to write articles about yourself, and the policy I linked explains why.  Particularly note that you'll have no control over the page about yourself (nobody "owns" a Wikipedia article), so if anyhting negative comes up about you, you can't do anything to remove it, and can have your account locked if you remove information.  I recommend you read the following too:


 * {| style="border:black solid 1px" width="90%"


 * style="background-color:#c8ffc8" | Wikipedia's Law of Unintended Consequences If you write in Wikipedia about yourself, your group, your company, or your pet idea, once the article is created, you have no rights to control its content, and no right to delete it outside our normal channels.  Content is irrevocably added with every edit, and once added will not be deleted just because the author doesn't like it any more. Any editor has the right to add or remove material to the article within the terms of our content policies. If there is anything publicly available on a topic that you would not want included in an article, it will probably find its way there eventually. More than one user has created an article only to find themselves presented in a poor light long-term by other editors. If you breach our editing policies or "edit war" in an attempt to obtain a version of your liking you are likely to have your editing access removed.

In addition, if your article is found to not be worthy of inclusion in the first place, it will be deleted, as per our deletion policies. Therefore, don't create promotional or other articles lightly, especially on subjects you care about.
 * }


 * Second, your article is not at all ready to publish since it does not meant WP:Notability (music). You need multiple, independent, neutral, reputable sources attesting the imporance of the subject.  You don't have any links to a Pitchfork review of your album, or a New York Times profile on you in the Arts section, so the article can't publish as it currently stands.  There are other format issues, but these first two issues take precedence. Again, I strongly advise you not to write a WP article about yourself. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:11, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

Romel Wallen
Is this article of the quality to go live?

Grandmadge (talk) 12:40, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ You were about 90% of the way there; I fixed you up to about 5% with some minor format tweaks. So good enough to publish, and I moved it to the article space for you. Still needs some copyediting though; you don't give newspaper/date for the two articles in your external links, and you have some extra spaces and periods mixed in (like after the word "Costa Rica"). So glance over it for final cleanup, and make sure your footnotes and links have the name of the newspaper and date. I also added Category:Jamaican footballers, which you forgot to do. Speaking of which, an "infobox" would really dress up your page. Check out any of the other articles in the Jamaican footballers category, note how there's a box in the right margin with their basic stats. I advise you copy-paste one of those into your article and put Wallen's stats in it. That'll make your article look like the WP Football standard.  Nice work overall, the first article just takes some fine tuning.  I hope you'll stick around and help cover more articles, maybe drop into WP:WikiProject Football to introduce yourself and see what needs doing. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:06, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Caprenter/Bike Bus
Hello. I'm hoping to contribute this article, but I'm a regular rider and the person behind the website at Aire Valley Bike Bus, so I believe that will put me in a conflict of interest situation. I think that a 'bike bus' is still a notable topic however. So I guess I'm looking for feedback on that, and the article itself. I have read the wiki page on COI and think that by declaring my COI and trying to keep the article neutral, it should be ok(?) Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

Caprenter (talk) 13:13, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Siztrust/Peter Barnes (lighting designer)
Hello, I think I've sorted all the bare URLs. One coding question I have is how do I set the urls to open in a new window, rather than the existing window? Not a big issue but would just be more user friendly.

Is this now OK to move to main article space please? If yes, do I move it or do you?

Many thanks for all your help, I'll be an expert soon;)

Siztrust (talk) 17:51, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅ Published. I'm not aware of any "open in new window" way to list links, sorry. The article turned out great, good work. If you're into lighting design, might I suggest both that you drop by WP:WikiProject Theatre to introduce yourself and your new article, and that you consider writing a few more bios on lighting history and experts to fill in Wikipedia gaps? I imagine you may know of or be able to find online information of some of the historic "greats" of lighting design. If they don't already have WP articles, that could be a cool way to apply your expertise and inform the public about the history of lighting and the guys who pushed it forward. Nicely done, and thanks for checking in with us as you go along so we volunteers can see the impact of our feedback (that's what keeps us going). MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:29, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

Chicago Rose of Tralee
Hi Everyone! Would like you to take a look at my first wikipedia article. This is a huge Irish event and being that Chicago has such a great Irish community, I thought it was important to be included. Let me know your thoughts! Thanks!

Sfcarrol (talk) 19:21, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Deba605/Chicago Booth India Leadership Summit
The ChicagoBooth India Leadership Summit is one of the largest conferences at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. Hosted, since 2005, by the South Asia Business Group, the conference brings together thought-leaders from across government, business and academia. Through keynote speeches and themed panels, our attendees are able to gain deeper insights into the dynamic social and economic landscape of India. TATA is the current title sponsor of the conference.

Deba605 (talk) 19:33, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Greetings, to meet Notability (organizations and companies) you need, at minimum, two independent, neutral, third-party sources establishing the notability of the subject. Not passing mention, but substantive discussion. Organization/event pages not meeting that requirement will be deleted if they come out of the drafting Userspace onto the articlespace. Also, note that weird gray box in your article: that happens when you try and indent. Instead, use double or triple equal signs on either side of a title to form a section or subsection, use an asterisk to bullet, or a colon at the start of a line to indent (don't indent paragraph starts, just indent if needed for layout reasons. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:43, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Oh, your article isn't on a drafting page. Moving to a drafting page to prevent from being speedily deleted, so now you can add the needed references without danger of losing the article. Posted here: User:Deba605/Chicago Booth India Leadership Summit. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:46, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

maxlinear
Help to update the templates used. New article about public company. New short article needs updated templates.

Jcline0 (talk) 19:43, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

[Product Development Technologies]
I'm looking for feedback on this article. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

Gaebler (talk) 21:01, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

KAREN DAWE: INFO/HISTORY OF NEWFOUNDLAND
I am Karen Dawe of the 'Dawes' of Newfoundland. What I mean by 'Dawes' is my family first settled the island in the 1500's and began the first fishing / seal hunting prospects and company both on Newfoundland and de Labrador. I have ancestry going back to the 1500's (confirmed by the church records and other records) as well as a monument on the island itself and various articles to the affect.

So...how do I edit and what do I do next.


 * Greetings! To start an article you need to register an account, which is totally free and takes literally under 5 minutes. An account is also vital because any messages sent to "you" right now will just go to any computer that happens to be on your IP, so might never reach you. I advise you get an account and check back in here so we can get a hold of you at your Wiki account Talk page. So far as starting articles, when you're choosing a topic, sources come first.  Wikipedia info must be sourced to an existing reputable secondary source, such as a book, media article, etc. Important to note, this is an encyclopedia, not an academic journal, so we don't do primary research.  That is, you don't write an article saying "According to these documents I dug out of the Newfoundland Archive, Fineas O'Leary arrived in 1883."  Since anonymous folks here aren't writing as history PhDs, you have to cite the work a scholar has already done, so "According to John Smith's History of the Basilica, O'Leary arrived in 1883." That's just the basics, but again we have no way to reach you without an account, so please sign up and check back in here so we can get you some individual attention. MatthewVanitas (talk) 03:03, 21 April 2011 (UTC)