Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 April 22

http://www.archdaily.com/124741/detroit-by-design/
Mweisgerb (talk) 00:34, 22 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Greetings, your link is not to a Wikipedia article. This is a place to get feedback on drafts of Wikipedia articles you've written, not to ask other people to write an article for you. MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:15, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Sdfaheem/Mana hyderabad party
My previous page was deleted by wikipedia, hence i would like to know if my present page about the newly formed political party is in compliance with your rules.

Thank you Sdfaheem (talk) 01:03, 22 April 2011 (UTC)
 * The article seems to read like a political manifesto, not an encyclopaedia article. Remember that Wikipedia articles need to be unbiased and avoid conflicts of interest. I believe substantial revision would need to be done to the article to prevent it from being deleted again Pi        (Talk to me!  ) 01:54, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Bloynoys/In Schools We Trust
We are trying to publish a quick summary for one of Deborah Meier's book In Schools We Trust. We are hoping to move this page into the wikipedia main page but I am not able to find the link to move it on the page. What is the next step?

Thank you!

Bloynoys (talk) 02:06, 22 April 2011 (UTC)


 * The article is not yet ready to go live, as it does not evidence Notability per WP:Notability (books). Book articles need multiple, neutral, third-party references discussing them, not just a reference to the book itself. Further, some of your article was opinion ("this book was an enjoyable read") which is really not part of an encyclopedia article; WP isn't book reviews or book reports. Please read the Notability policy on books, see if you can find some external coverage, and then check back with us. I've made some format fixes, removed some unencyclopedic material, and added some maintenance tags to your draft. MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:26, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Jakeyboy1989/Queensland_Young_Greens
Hi,

I need feedback so I can move this article to the mainspace. Previously tried but had it deleted by MatthewVanitas.

In reviewing this article please refer to similar youth wings - Young Greens of Sweden; Young LNP; Young Labour - all hold similar content, references, etc.

This article is worthy as it provides information about the youth wing of a notable Australian political party.

Thanks

Jakeyboy1989 (talk) 03:14, 22 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Read your message; I did not "delete" your article, I moved it to a safe drafting space so it can be worked on. Another editor (not even me) then went to delete your old draft in the articlespace, at which point you reacted as though he was deleting the only draft of your article. We're trying to help you, so please stop accusing people of messing with your work when you're not reading the messages left for you explaining how we're helping you. The "Speedy delete" the other editor left you was marked indicating it was being deleted as a redundant re-direct to your draft, not that there was a problem with the article.


 * Further, you have still not provided neutral, third party references covering your organisation. Spend a few minutes on Google, get a few pieces of footnoted data to show what outside entities are saying about the group, and you'll be good. MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:19, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

The Other Guys (group)
New article - first article. May require clean-up. Any constructive comments are welcome.

MrMarkBGregory (talk) 14:52, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Cyberwombat/James_Kirby_Martin
This article is a bio of a noted American Revolution scholar and published author.

Cyberwombat (talk) 15:05, 22 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Greetings, your article is unreferenced, and thus has no evidence of Notability. Please review Notability (academics) for guidelines on biographies of academics.  That aside, the tone is a bit too laudatory to be neutral, and only the very first section has any wikilinks (in-line links to other wiki articles), so please wikify more key terms (not commonly known nouns or places) further into the article. Feel free to post back here with any questions. MatthewVanitas (talk) 01:28, 23 April 2011 (UTC)

Cardiogenesis
This is a new posting of an organization that creates a product in a distinct field of medical therapy. Need another editor to review it.

Emartine (talk) 19:04, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Fahad186/Shahvaar Ali Khan
Hey! This is an article about a musician, singer-songwriter, Shahvaar Ali Khan. His first song NSNJ has caused much buzz in both India and Pakistan and is serving as their unofficial peace anthem.

Fahad186 (talk) 19:39, 22 April 2011 (UTC)


 * Greetings, your article is pretty good on text, except that it has a bit of a promotional bias with subjective words like "heartening", etc. For Wikipedia we need to stick to bare facts and avoid any kind of hype, so please rephrase such bits. So far as copyediting, you need to turn all-caps terms like "HINDU TIMES" to regular capitalisation, and spell out abbreviations such as "NYU".  The single biggest thing you want to fix is WP:Footnotes.  First, footnotes don't go at the end of the article, they go after the statement they provide proof to.  For example:


 * At the peak of his career in 1993, John Smith played to a sold-out 50,000 person crowd at Starshine Fest.


 * That way we can tell exactly what statements are proven by which footnotes. I suggest you go through your articles, figure out which ones are testimony to which claims, and add your footnote right after the period or comma of that sentence or phrase. Also note how I formatted your footnotes four and five to include title (with clickable link), publication, and publication date. That makes it easy for a reader to see, at a glance, that serious newspapers are providing your evidence.  If you make the changes I suggested and check back in here for final polishing, I think you will have a very strong article. Nice work so far, and once you get it polished I think you'll have learned a lot about article writing. MatthewVanitas (talk) 20:11, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

Gradle
Looking for someone to review initial content. The gradle build tool has been evolving for several years now and really should have had a wiki page earlier. It is akin to Ant and Maven, and there is significantly more content that can be added to the page, but this is a starting point. I simply wish to have the page reviewed so that it satisfies wikipedia rules and any deficiencies with the article can be addressed. (Don't wish to see the page deleted because of not following the process).

Merscwog (talk) 19:55, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:SWCRF/Samuel Waxman
This article is a short biography of the cancer researcher Samuel Waxman. As this is the first article I have written, I want to make sure that it adheres to Wikipedia's standards/style, and also want to know if there is anything I should add (although it is still a work in progress).

SWCRF (talk) 19:58, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Dkinsella/TULIP Cooperative Credit Union
I've been working to get this published, but have run into troubles. Any suggestions to help?

thanks

Dkinsella (talk) 21:16, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

User:Michael_Leeman/Arkeia_Software
I've written and posted an article about Arkeia Software at my sub-page. I would greatly appreciate it if someone could please take a look at it and let me know if you think it's ready for the main space. Thank you!Michael Leeman (talk) 22:21, 22 April 2011 (UTC)

Michael Leeman (talk) 22:21, 22 April 2011 (UTC)