Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 August 1

Van Howard
I found one reference to Van Howard written in a book. I've added that reference. Will this suffice along with the other references so the notability message can be removed? Can you also remove the Citation comment?

Nmantooth (talk) 00:46, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * You have no references . External links are not references. I haven't looked, they might qualify as references, but they must be used as references, and properly formed. See Referencing for beginners. I cannot remove either template until this has been addressed, at a minimum.-- SPhilbrick  T  15:02, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

Tree Machine Records
This is the first page that I have created, and I was hoping I could get some feedback? Is there anything specific I should change, or any heading that I could add?

Money doesn&#39;t grow on trees, but music does. (talk) 02:09, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Beware conflict of interest

Based on your user-name, I wonder if you are involved with that company? If so, please carefully read WP:BFAQ and WP:BESTCOI.


 * It needs better references

Blogs are not "Reliable sources". References should be things with a 'reputation for fact-checking and accuracy', and 'editorial control'. All articles need to be based on coverage in reliable sources; see WP:VRS and WP:RS.


 * It needs inline references

References be actually in the body text, and the system will automatically put a small numbered link like [1], linking to the details in the references section. For example;

Chzz is 98 years old.

He likes tea.

User:Corinne310/The Boarder (film)
Please review our article on our current movie project The Boarder, we would appreciate your feedback! Thank you very much!

Corinne310 (talk) 04:08, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Amazon just shows it exists; it needs references to e.g. newspaper articles about the book; independent reliable sources - see WP:VRS.
 * Ref 3 links to Wikipedia, and Wikipedia is not a reliable source. Where can we verify that it won an award?
 * Main problem: references to reliable sources, so the reader can check the facts.
 * Dee Wallace plays the psychologist [...] Carl is portrayed by [...] Andy Scott Harris. Other actors appearing [..] are Leslie Stevens, Carlton Wilburn and Eric St. John. shot for the most part in Ravenna, Nebraska. A percentage of the proceeds from the movie will be used to fund the Institute for Family Health in Central Nebraska. etc.  Chzz  ► 03:44, 3 August 2011 (UTC)
 * P.S. Our article? Please never share a user account.  Chzz  ► 03:46, 3 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Corinne310/Jane E. Ryan
Please review and provide feedback for this writer's biography that we're creating. It is a work in progress but we would like to see what you think! Thanks so much!!

Corinne310 (talk) 04:09, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * The fact that a person has written some books does not make them notable (in Wikipedia terms) - we need references to show that other people (independent) have written about the person. See WP:VRS, WP:BIO  Chzz  ► 03:48, 3 August 2011 (UTC)

Capt. Charles Cooper
Gwpinu (talk) 04:45, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

Informer Technologies, Inc.
I'm requesting feedback for the article describing a company engaged in web development. Truly hope you will help me make it better.

VoiceWithoutFace (talk) 07:54, 1 August 2011 (UTC) ]]
 * You have two references but the first is to the company site so doesn't qualify as a reliable source. The alexa link is OK, but it doesn't do much more than establish existence.In its present state, it does not yet meet the Notability requirement.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:59, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Askjayaa/SuperSeva Services
I want to move this article. Pls advice.

Askjayaa (talk) 11:01, 1 August 2011 (UTC)


 * You have no references to reliable sources, so it does not yet meet the Notability requirement.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:54, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

User:MrDuthac/Tain_Museum
This proto-article has been around the block before, but now may be nearing release quality - I hope. Please advise.

Thank you

03 August 2011

The article has been moved to Tain Museum.

MrDuthac (talk) 11:38, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

The National Benevolent Fund for the Aged (NBFA)
I have just moved this page after editing it quite a lot. I'd really appreciate some feedback as this is the first page I've created. There is no other article about the charity but quite a few people linked to the charity featured on Wikipedia. I have tried to construct the article according to the etiquette on here as best as I can but am sure that I have still made mistakes. Many thanks!

Nbfa (talk) 14:12, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * The references are not formed correctly. You can find some help at Referencing for beginners


 * Similarly, the format for external links is not correct. See External links, which largely covers the inclusion guideline, but scroll down and it has advice on format.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:53, 1 August 2011 (UTC)


 * I see some of the links are improved, so this might actually be salvaged. More issues: we normally do not use "The" in article titles, nor put the acronym at the end. In fact, the orgs web site does not have "The" in its name. I can fix this. Now moved to National Benevolent Fund for the Aged. The lead section also needs to be written. An obvious omission is context. The English language Wikipedia is for all English speakers in the world, so need to know which "nation" it refers to! W Nowicki (talk) 16:35, 3 August 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jessica.OC/One_Call_Insurance
Jessica.OC (talk) 15:08, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

Sri_Aurobindo_Ashram_Mahasua
please send me your feedback about my article.is it a good one?

Siddharth807 (talk) 15:18, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I urge you to read Article Layout, as this article doesn't follow the usual layout for an article.


 * Plus you need references to reliable sources to support Notability-- SPhilbrick  T  16:03, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Thnidu/Scandinavian_names
While looking up Torbjörn, I found that there were many articles on given names by language or language group, but none for the Scandinavian languages. I started compiling names for this article just by looking for existing articles to link to, first in Germanic names and then by searching for Norse names, adding relevant external links and references where I saw them.

Going through search results, I had added Thorvald and was about to add Viggo when I discovered a well-organized Category:Scandinavian given names, which seems to make this proposed article redundant. Maybe the page should just redirect to the category. Opinions, please?

Thnidu (talk) 15:39, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

PAM-CRASH
I would appreciate it very much if someone could please review my article on PAM-CRASH simulation software and provide their feedback. Following that, I'm guessing (I'm not sure of the protocol) that either I or the reviewer would then remove the "unreviewed" tag from the top of the page. Thank you very much!

Michael Leeman (talk) 16:26, 1 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Micheal I reviewed this article on your talk page. I think for a new article it is very good. Steve Quinn (talk) 03:09, 17 August 2011 (UTC)

North Manchester Rugby Club
This is my first posting to wikipedia. I plan to expand this article over the next few weeks but for now I just want to get some feedback that things are OK I will be adding some history and facts about the current club.

Northmanrugby (talk) 16:57, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

SearchTeam
This article is about a new search engine that I stumbled upon while reading my blogs. I checked out Wikipedia and saw nothing was written, so I wanted to write a little piece so that other people can find this new search tool.

Please give feedback on the level of detail provided, tone of the article, and sources.

EDIT: Thanks, I will try to add some more information to clarify.

Jtwall12 (talk) 17:18, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I read all the linked references and I still have no idea how this works, in particular, what collaboration adds to the process. One of the main goals of an encyclopedia is that a reader should learn something more about the subject. Apparently, the main point of this search engine is that it allows collaboration. To what end? Why would a collaborative search produce better results, The article text doesn't provide a hint.--  SPhilbrick  T  20:30, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Ivanalu/Online Donor Registry (Ontario)
The page "Online Donor Registry (Ontario)" highlights the recent online organ donation made available online, to increase accessibility to residents of Ontario (Canada). The article identifies key ideas on what it is, how to be involved, and who can participate. The article shares statistical information, as well as an overview on other countries, just to increase the accessibility and recognizes other countries have considered this as well.

This is my first time (with three other first time contributors) posting a Wikipedia page.

I would like to ask if anyone would be able to review the Lead (first paragraph of the article), to ensure that it is strong and sufficient enough, by Wikipedia standards. I also welcome criticisms and suggesting on areas to explore.

Ivanalu (talk) 17:18, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

Shelby County Republican Party (Alabama)
24.227.108.114 (talk) 19:33, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks fine, thanks. I removed the unreviewed template.-- SPhilbrick  T  12:22, 2 August 2011 (UTC)

Pragmatic Pluralism
Pragmatic pluralism is a philosophy using information from history and science to support living in the "here and now" (pragmatism) while considering that "anything is possible" (pluralism).

Wheelerrj (talk) 19:58, 1 August 2011 (UTC)


 * So what about it? Ah, maybe you want a review of User:Wheelerrj/Pragmatic pluralism?
 * An obvious issue is that your one source might be related to yourself. be familiar with the conflict of interest guidelines. In particular, promoting a book by oneself will quickly be deleted. Be sure this is not a neologism, by citing enough independent sources besides yourself that use this term. For that matter, at least once in each paragraph you need to have citations supporting your statements. Just a link at the end is not enough. You also need wikilinks within the article. So the draft has a long way to go before being ready. Please be patient and read the guidelines, thanks. W Nowicki (talk) 22:49, 3 August 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Televerde
CJBnew (talk) 20:12, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

Kurt Streit
Article about opera singer Kurt Streit. Please review. German version has already been reviewed a long time ago: http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Streit

Habnix (talk) 23:59, 1 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks fine, thanks. I removed the unreviewed template.-- SPhilbrick  T  12:17, 2 August 2011 (UTC)