Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 August 19

User:Studio Ish/Studio Ish
I have read the tutorial and done my best to understand everything, but would like to know what else I need, or what I have done wrong. Should I supply more information in a sub-heading on the founders of Ish and their backgrounds. General feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Studio Ish (talk) 02:36, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

Habib Umar bin Hafidz
99.9.212.183 (talk) 04:57, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

Roslhk:Royal Over-Seas League (Hong Kong Branch)
There are certainly far too many rediections for users to do their right things. What Roshhk wishes is to make the draft alive. Could you tell us how to do so in a simple and easy fashion, please?

Roslhk (talk) 05:55, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Escape-Company-ebook/dp/B005GFM6Z6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313742683&sr=8-1
I would like this page added in the category of - British Crime Thrillers - under 'E'

Escapeco (talk) 08:33, 19 August 2011 (UTC)


 * If you are requesting an article, you need Requested articles. This page is for requesting feedback on article that has already been written.--Ykraps (talk) 20:15, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Strings of Riddle
Please review this and remove the "new article" tag

Thanks for your time.

caliberoviv 09:17, 19 August 2011 (UTC)


 * It looks like someone has already reviewed your article and deleted it. To avoid this happening again, don't create articles in the mainspace but rather create them in a user sub-page or better still use the article wizard here [].--Ykraps (talk) 20:32, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks for your feedback Caliberoviv (talk) 08:28, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Amyabaker/Noddle
Hello! I'd appreciate if someone could move the Noddle page onto the Wiki site for me. I am too new a user to do this myself.

Thank you

Amy

Amyabaker (talk) 10:06, 19 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I am very sorry to have to say that your draft article was speedy deleted and has been temporarily restored while it is being discussed at Deletion review/Log/2011 September 3. In my opinion the matter should have been discussed with you at a much earlier stage. Thincat (talk) 13:23, 5 September 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nbc_bearings
Kindly go through the contents of the website, i am employee of the company, and the data is correct to the best of my knowledge and can be reviewed.

Sjaju (talk) 11:00, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Cyclista/Wall.fm
I have written a draft of an article about a free social network builder Wall.fm. I would highly appreciate your feedback on the article before going live. Advice and criticism are welcomed. Thanks for your time in advance.

Cyclista (talk) 11:15, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

NetworkGlobal Companies
My article has been speedy deleted twice. The first time was understandable- I failed to cite any references and it did look like ambiguous advertising. However, I re-wrote the article, listing 8-10 references, and deleted any information that looked like advertising. If you can find my page, please give me constructive critism on how I can improve it to encyclopedic material.

Thank you!

Ngc.andrew.marler (talk) 12:33, 19 August 2011 (UTC)


 * It is possible that an article about a company written by one of its Revenue Management Associates [] was seen as a conflict of interest. Or possibly the company doesn't meet the notability requirements (see:WP:notability (organizations and companies)). You must demonstrate notability to avoid deletion. Also, as you clearly have a vested interest it would be better if you made a request for the article to be written by somebody else. You can do that here - wp:request an article. You could request that your article be undeleted (see:Requests for undeletion) but if there was a good reason for the deletion that is unlikely to succeed.--Ykraps (talk) 21:16, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Kent State University College of Arts and Sciences
I would just like for someone to review the page so it's not longer considered a "new unreviewed article." All of the information is accurate and well-cited, verified by the College website.

Thanks!

Stephsnydercg (talk) 13:46, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Randomlyacting/The_Virtual_Stage
Just looking for general feedback on this new article if anyone has any, before it's "moved" to become live. Thank you.

Randomlyacting (talk) 17:23, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Lagomorpha/Rabbit Hybridoma
Summary: Brief article about the history and development of rabbit hybridomas.

A rabbit hybridoma is a hybrid cell line formed by the fusion of an antibody producing rabbit B cell with a cancerous B-cell (myeloma). History The rabbit immune system has been documented as a vehicle for developing antibodies with higher affinity and more diverse recognition of many molecules including phospho-peptides, carbohydrates and immunogens that are not otherwise immunogenic in mouse [1]. However, until recently, the type of antibodies available from rabbit had been limited in scope to polyclonal antibodies...

Questions: 1) I'm not certain if this topic necessarily requires its own page as written or if it should be a subtopic of Hybridoma or Monoclonal Antibody.

2) There is a sentence in the monoclonal antibody page, "However, recent advances have allowed the use of rabbit B-cells.", which suggests that a more detailed explanation of the development and history of rabbit B-cells is prudent.

Concerns: I'm a new user, so would like to receive feedback and see what happens before moving the page to the official site.

Thanks!

Lagomorpha (talk) 18:09, 19 August 2011 (UTC)

Will Yeatman
Requesting feedback to remove "new article" template. The article should probably also have more links to news articles on Yeatman.

Gildir (talk) 18:37, 19 August 2011 (UTC)


 * The article's tag appears to have been removed but here is some feedback anyway:

Hope that helps.--Ykraps (talk) 15:53, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Yeatman appears to be notable (see:WP:Notability (sports)) and thus worthy of inclusion.
 * 2) The article is very short but I suppose this is to be expected for someone who has just started their professional career.
 * 3) The sources appear to be acceptable and all links are intact.
 * 4) The article needs more inline citations. Every claim in the article requires one.
 * 5) Some things need a brief explanation and/or blue linking. Examples of this include: Tight end, receptions, freshman, sophomore. Remember Wikipedia is international and that your article may be read by someone unfamiliar with the game.
 * 6) In the Early years section, it states Yeatman's father played lacrosse for the navy. Which navy? (US, Italian?)
 * 7) I am not overly familiar with American English but shouldn't 'pled' be 'pleaded'? (College career).
 * 8) Also in this section, it is claimed the charges were dropped but the reference given does not support this; stating that only the last two charges were dropped and thus inferring he was charged with under-age drinking.
 * 9) The article appears to have had a copyedit but could probably do with another. I believe you can request one somewhere but I don't know where at the moment. I will find out and get back to you but make any changes first.

User:Bhammoud/Sillydollar
Please take a look at this article, i am trying to make it as neutral as possible, stating the benefits of the site. thanks

Bhammoud (talk) 19:02, 19 August 2011 (UTC)


 * A quick search of the internet appears to suggest this company is not notable enough to be included in Wikipedia. A company or service is notable if it has been the subject of significant coverage in secondary sources. Such sources must be reliable, and independent of the subject. Also the article has no inline citations and does not appear to have any benefits over any other similar sites. I am sorry to say that if you try to bring this article into the mainspace, it is almost certain to be speedily deleted. The best advice I can offer is to wait until the company is better established and has received independent coverage; then try again.--Ykraps (talk) 18:48, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Knox4th/Showstopper American Dance Championships
Is my article ready to be published on Wikipedia? Please advise.

Knox4th (talk) 19:52, 19 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Is this article about a company or a dance competition? If it is about the latter what is its purpose? Is it purely to make money for the company? I would expect an article about a competition to include past winners, eligibility criteria, entry fees, costs, past venues, ticket sales etc. If it is about a company it should include; what it does, how it does it, turnover, profit/loss information etc. If it is both then it would be best to write an article about the company and include a section about the competitions it organises. But bear in mind that a company must satisfy the requirements of WP:notability (organizations and companies) and a competition WP:notability (events).--Ykraps (talk) 19:57, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Commission on Economy and Efficiency
I am still a new article creator and would still like feedback on my new article because I found the feedback on my first article to be extremely helpful. Thank you in advance.

Zmohr (talk) 01:47, 20 August 2011 (UTC)