Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 August 23

IDA International
Please help to review a new article about a Singapore government statutory board's subsidiary which has a number of collaborations in the e-Government space with governments outside of Singapore. Thank you.

203.116.33.206 (talk) 06:12, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Seems interesting, but reads too much like a marketing brochure. I'd prefer it to sound more factual and less promotional. --Kai Carver (talk) 05:37, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Apollo 18 (band)
Hi, this is a short article about a Korean rock band. I think the band is sufficiently notable and that it's sufficiently sourced, but I'd appreciate someone checking it. I normally wouldn't bother others with this, except I used the article wizard to create the article, so I have this unsightly "new unreviewed" tag on the article that I'd like to get removed if possible... Thanks!

Kai Carver (talk) 09:08, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Reviewed, seems okay. Cheers,  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 09:57, 31 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you! --Kai Carver (talk) 13:50, 31 August 2011 (UTC)

Sherbrooke War Memorial
Hy! Could somebody revise the style of article Sherbrooke War Memorial? I translated a part of it from French, but English is not my native language so maybe there a some gallicisms in the text or weird phrasing. Thanks!

Grafik.muzik (talk) 14:39, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Done. --Kai Carver (talk) 17:03, 26 August 2011 (UTC)

Rob Walker (poet)
In posting Bibliography we have lost some internal links in other sections. Is it possible to retrieve them? Thanks. (@ Sept 1: We've manually repaired all of the lost links now but would still appreciate a volunteer to review so that the 'unreviewed article' template can be removed.) Thanks again.

Auslit (talk) 15:24, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Neon_Highwire
Added a page on the group Neon Highwire. There is a question mark on the notability guideline though I disagree that Neon Highwire do not have enough notoriety to warrant their own page. With their viral "Kim Jong Il Looking At Things" song in addition to their debut EP Luminescence which received a number of reviews from music magazines, alongside their single "Neon Blink" released on Blue Dove Records, I would say that these points alone are sufficient.

Perhaps you disagree, I could not say, but I would appreciate you taking some time to take a look, thanks.

193.108.78.10 (talk) 15:59, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * I took a look and I'm sorry to say none of the sources seemed sufficiently notable. The references are either blogs, non third-party, Facebook/myspace/last.fm, joke web sites, or dead links. The first record label looks like it only produced one record, which happens to be the band's only album.


 * The Wikipedia content seems to have been contributed by a person who is either a member of the band in question or one of their friends... --Kai Carver (talk) 14:54, 26 August 2011 (UTC)

C. Wilfred Jenks
Please review this new article on a former Director-General of the ILO and international legal scholar.

Otherthinker (talk) 16:13, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Emergence and Architecture


I would like to add a small section to the article on Emergence under the existing sub heading 'Emergence and Architecture' - I have taught and published this topic at the Architectural Association for many years. I have attached the url for my userpage - could that be also linked to entries? Your signature has already been added! -->Michaelweinstock (talk) 16:41, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Ezhuthatha Kadha This film directed by A.B.Raj tells the story of a stage actress "Kayamkulam Kamalamma(Sheela) and her daughter.The hardship she faces in her old days has been portrayed in a touching way.This film won the National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Malayalam in 1971. Ghanshyam79 (talk) 16:50, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Talk:Andy Reid
I think the work that Coach Reid did, substantively helping Mark Bowden on a football book, is worthy of inclusion in the coach's article. Another editor does not. If one will "vote" with me on the talk page, I can proceed, per the other editor.

I think my single source is adequate, but this new one elaborates, showing that Reid's participation was interesting to another major media outlet/reporter and why. I can incorporate at least a little from it, with the cite, if one would like.

I hope this is a fair use of the feedback process. Thanks (or apologies, if it's not) in advance. Swliv (talk) 16:59, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed.


 * You'll also find that your message is pretty much WP:CANVASSING which is not permitted, as it encourages vote stacking. If you can't find a way to discuss adding your contribution with other editors then it's probably not worth adding. If you think it is, be Bold and add it - if the other editor removes it don't start war editing - simply make sure your contrib is properly referenced and cited - in which case it should not usually warrant removal. If they do revert it, find out why - if they can't give good reason, they can't stop you - consider that there might be a WP:COI issue when people try to prevent certain types of info being added to an article - if so, deal with it appropriately - consensus is based on fair open discussion, not seeking uninvolved third-party votes to swing it in your favour.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 07:23, 24 August 2011 (UTC)


 * The best place for correctly seeking a third-party resolution is WP:RFC.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 09:09, 24 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I've taken in and am pondering the good advice given above. Meanwhile, the advising editor has clarified how to meet the request for response in the "After Receiving Feedback" introductory section. In order to respond, one has to click on the date of the original posting, in "The previous few days of requests are transcluded below" section at the bottom of the introductory sections. Then and only then are "edit" buttons made available. I would suggest that someone edit the "After Receiving ..." section, adding something like "Click on the date of the original request below in order to provide feedback" to #2. One could also, separately, link to Transclusion. I don't appear to have access to do the edit(s) myself. I think it could save future editors some time and/or perhaps improve response rates. Thanks much. Swliv (talk) 21:39, 25 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I agree, although I don't think anyone will take heed of it here, as it will be archived in a few days without discussion. Wikipedia talk:Requests for feedback is probably the best place to make your points and concerns clear - that way, someone, like an admin, might update the main RFF page template to include an [edit] per article or instructions as you described, which would make things easier for people to respond to their RFF entries.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 22:05, 25 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I've refined my thought at Wikipedia talk:Requests for feedback, hopefully also a more accessible place. Thanks again. Swliv (talk) 20:25, 27 August 2011 (UTC)

McKayla Maroney
This is a new article about gymnast and U.S. vault champion McKayla Maroney. I believe that it is well referenced, and I have tried to improve its layout quality over previous entries I've completed. Thanks so much for making the time to provide feedback!

Seandalytx (talk) 17:23, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Reserve 123
Just posted a new article and would like some feedback to have it fully up and running on WP. Thanks!

Dude4476 (talk) 20:08, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Benjamin R. Potter
Hi, I'm a new user to Wikipedia and I'd like feedback on my article for Benjamin R. Potter. I don't want to publish it if it's flawed, because I understand it will be deleted.

Stopsocketpuppets (talk) 20:58, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marr_(businessman)
Please review my page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marr_(businessman). Steve Marr is a business consultant, radio personality and ministry executive who founded the highly acclaimed “Business Proverbs” ministry after a 27-year career in business.

Rjmains (talk) 21:26, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

user:TolkienLibrary/David_De_Buck
David De Buck is a gallerist in New York. Due to his parents’ involvement in the contemporary art world, De Buck grew up personally knowing many top European artists, especially those belonging to the New Realist movement, including Christo, Niki de Saint Phalle, Arman, and Cesar. In 2008, he found his passion and dedication lay in the arts, and he moved to New York and founded De Buck Gallery. Since then, the gallery has experienced rapid growth thanks to De Buck’s rich past experiences. Today De Buck Gallery represents artists such as Zevs, Hans Kotter, and Harald Schmitz-Schmelzer, and works actively in the secondary market with names such as Alexander Calder, Robert Indiana, Niki de Saint Phalle, Yves Klein, Tom Wesselman, Jaume Plensa and many more.

TolkienLibrary (talk) 22:00, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Carolina12345/Copal Partners
Hi,

Please review the article and let me know if it is fine to be posted on Wikipedia.

Many thanks, Carolina

Carolina12345 (talk) 22:03, 23 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Article appears promotional and may not be considered suitable, as Wiki is an encyclopedia not a marketing site. See WP:PROMOTION
 * Without WP:NOTABILITY articles may be nominated for deletion, especially if they only appear to promote a person or business.
 * Hardly any of the article follows the Manual of Style - headings are broken, references are not correctly linked, bold markers are used where they should not be used, the lead is incorrectly placed, and headings should not be referenced, only prose should be.
 * I advise careful rewrite once you have read the WP pages and MOS liked above, well before publishing it as an article; in it's current state I have no doubt that it would flagged for speedy deletion within a short time.

 Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 08:20, 24 August 2011 (UTC)