Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 August 24

User:Rajam6/Naeem Ashraf Raja
I would be grateful for any ideas and sugegstions.

rajam (talk) 02:49, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Ebodonne
Ebodonne (talk) 04:09, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Eggshells/Elfland
I'm just requesting feedback for my first article. I just finished reading the novel and noticed that it didn't have an article on wikipedia when I tried to look it up. I'd also like to link it in the page The King of Elfland's Daughter because there is a clever reference to that novel in the third chapter.

Eggshells (talk) 05:14, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Chrisbooth111/Cold Pop
Just looking for some feedback. Let me know if something jumps out as needing attention.

Chrisbooth111 (talk) 05:27, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Beats me
Is everything OK with my article?

EHedenblad (talk) 08:37, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Comparison of WebSocket implementations
The comparison contains direct input from 4 authors of implementations and provides accurate, balanced and useful information. Please review ..

Oberstet (talk) 08:56, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Muhammad Syukri Ridwan
Hello, I am user DeltaShield.I am the creator of this article.I have another account which is: Faizilcool .I use DeltaShield to draft this article but I used Faizicool to create the final article of "Muhammad Syukri Ridwan".This article is true.Proof:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Park_View_Primary_School#Current_Senior_Soccer_Squad

DeltaShield (talk) 09:32, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Geraldine Wooller
Any suggestions are welcome!

Blanche456 (talk) 10:35, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Sonic1980/AggreGate Platform
Hello. Please provide any feedback on the new article. This is my first complete article in English wikipedia, so please be charitable.. Thanks!

Sonic1980 (talk) 11:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

VAD 43 MRC Klang Chapter
Do comment for the improvement of this article. Thank you.

Manoj22majin 11:35, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

ALKA
Please review - is this interesting? Do questions arise that need answers? Thanks.

Mgirnius (talk) 14:06, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Being Born Again Couture Fashion Show
Hi MarcusBritish,

Could you please do a quick edit of this page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Being_Born_Again_Couture_Fashion_Show? I have referenced it properly etc. Please take out "This article may contain wording that merely promotes the subject without imparting verifiable information. Please remove or replace such wording, unless you can cite independent sources that support the characterization." and "A major contributor to this article appears to have a close connection with its subject. It may require cleanup to comply with Wikipedia's content policies, particularly neutral point of view. Please discuss further on the talk page. (August 2011)" and "This article may contain inappropriate or misinterpreted citations that do not verify the text. Please help improve this article by checking for inaccuracies. (help, talk, get involved!) (August 2011)" if you are satified with it.

Thank you.

Domenico.y (talk) 15:22, 24 August 2011 (UTC) Domenico.y

Domenico.y (talk) 15:22, 24 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Odd that this RFF is directed at me rather than awaiting any reviewer - I have no knowledge at all of fashion shows to help verify this articles notability or content. Banners can't just be "taken out" without being considered first - that's the point in them.
 * put in the "A major contributor to this article appears to have a close connection with its subject" tag, what are their reasons for believing this - I don't like "hit and run" tagging - they need to open up a dialogue in the discussion page and express their concerns, otherwise the tag serves no purpose other than to deface the article. Can you please address this matter in their talk page as they appear to have added a few of these 4 banners, which suggests they know more about the topic than they're willing to contribute - which is a waste of time if they don't intend to give clearer feedback.
 * Manual of Style
 * There are 3 instances in the "Models" section where there are commas between refs, i.e [1],[2] - they need removing.
 * Ref [2] in the Lead section needs placing after the comma, not before.
 * Years need ndashes, not slashes - i.e. 2010–11, 11–12, not 2011/12 - there are a few of those need fixing.
 * You have curly quotes all over - they need to be replaced with straight quotes (per standard keyboard: shift-2) - "text" not “text”
 * You use the term "S/S 11/12" - both the "S/S" and "11/12" need putting in full - "spring/summer 2011–12" if that's what it means?
 * Seasons, Spring/Summer, don't need capital letters, they are common nouns, unless it's part of the name of a fashion show.
 * 10/11, same as above - can stay like that if it's part of the name of a show, otherwise use ndashes, as mentioned.

That's about all I can suggest - can't really "get involved" with a subject I know nothing about, but do contact Bonadea, and get their concerns addressed ASAP before someone decides to flag the article for Deletion because of those concerns not being dealt with.

 Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 12:30, 27 August 2011 (UTC)

PLACE Architecture & Built Environment Centre
Seeking feedback on this article (first published June 2011) because it is still listed as a new unreviewed article.

Tugboat2011 (talk) 16:50, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Trenbolone
I cleaned up this article, added additional references and improved its neutrality. Could someone please review to determine if the current tags can be removed.

Here is a link to the old article: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Trenbolone&oldid=444564842

Legion211 (talk) 17:26, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Rawle & Henderson LLP and UserSScottDavis
Is this new article ok? Everything included is factual.

SScottDavis (talk) 17:54, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Cirquehuber/Shane Smith (Vice)
Submitting my first creation page. Looking for advice. Thanks.

Cirquehuber (talk) 18:30, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Troysheridan/Joseph_Valtellini
This is a page for a Toronto based professional kickboxer. I would like to validate the resources, and request feedback, when editing a page on a specific person it is sometimes uneccesary to cite sources and would like clarification on this area. Specific editing of the page itself can be done accordingly.

Troysheridan (talk) 19:21, 24 August 2011 (UTC)

Haludovo Palace Hotel
I have written an article on the modern ruins of a luxury hotel campus on the croatian island Krk.

ThorstenSchroeteler (talk) 20:16, 24 August 2011 (UTC)


 * You need to establish notability or this article might end up being considered promotional/advertising, which can lead to deletion.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 13:06, 27 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Gildir/Robert Sténuit
This is the first time I have requested feedback on an article which is still a work in progress. The article is based on translations of the articles on Robert Sténuit in the French and Romanian Wikipedias (especially the more detailed latter), but therefore includes important statements from those articles which I have not been able to confirm -- hence the "Citation needed" templates, some with "reason" fields. I have not been able to consult the Subaqua article or the Sténuit book translated into Romanian (Lumile tainice în care m-am scufundat, presumably a translation of Ces mondes secrets où j'ai plongé) which were apparently used as sources by the author of the Romanian article, and which are therefore listed separately as references without inline citations.

The external link about Harry Reiseberg is there because there is as yet no Wikipedia article on him (or any other mention of him on Wikipedia, for that matter). I also can't tell if the "Librairie Hachette" which published Merveilieux monde souterrain is Hachette (publisher) or Hachette Filipacchi Médias, so there's no blue link to the publisher's article. I realize that the article should have references to several National Geographic articles, which I have not yet consulted.

Gildir (talk) 21:22, 24 August 2011 (UTC)


 * Above request expanded 8/26/2011. Gildir (talk) 13:32, 26 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Reem_attar/Riyadh_Colleges_Of_Dentistry_%26_Pharmacy
hello sir, i need ur feedback on this article as i intend to publish it here. thank you

Reem attar (talk) 22:07, 24 August 2011 (UTC)


 * On the outlook, doesn't look too bad. Few pointers:
 * I don't think notability has been fully established yet. Are there are independent reports, articles, etc about them? See WP:CORPDEPTH which lists the type of references that are (and are not) acceptable for considering WP:NOTABILITY.
 * Once notability is established, and you are able to move the article to mainspace:
 * Rename the article during the Move process to use "and" rather than the "&" character, and any used in the article itself (I count 3).
 * Logo jpg doesn't seem to be working.
 * Words like "of" and "for" in some of the headers need to be lowercase.
 * Citations for the paragraph of Members of the Council, and the paragraph listing sub-committees would be helpful, in the "Research Center Development and Activities" section, to support where this info comes from and can be verified.

Let me know if you want me to re-review again, once you've looked into these.

Thanks,  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 06:20, 30 August 2011 (UTC)

Dudhu Chak
This one is my first article, before this I have edited my article based on true informaation. This topic is about my home town and its related.I want a feedback on this.

M. Adnan Khadim 00:00, 25 August 2011 (UTC)

Yu Hwang-Wu
125.129.107.133 (talk) 13:57, 25 August 2011 (UTC)