Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 August 4

HMS Phoenix (N96)
Could someone do a review of this article and tell me what I can improve on? I am nominating it for DYK. Please notify me on my talk page if you review the article. Ryan Vesey  Review me!  00:29, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks very good. I made two tiny changes, you should double-check them both, I changed what I think is a type, and I added a name to a link.


 * One minor issue, may be browser specific (I'm using IE7), I see a bit too much white space between the first and second paragraph in the history section. I think it is caused by the image location. What do you think about having it float left? -- SPhilbrick  T  20:57, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

User:Firepower Canada/SG2 Shareable (Fire Control) Software Suite (S4)
I am wondering how much more work I need to do on this article (suggested improvements also recommended)... I'd like to move it soon into the main space and start adding links into it from things like:
 * Artillery
 * Fire-control system
 * STANAG 4355, etc.

Thanks in advance for any help provided... Firepower Canada (talk) 02:29, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Alaska Airlines Flight 261
User:Haydenthegreat has repeatedly restored content to this article without discussion. It's a partial transcript of that flight's cockpit voice recording. I think the content is inappropriate for a variety of reasons, which I will be happy to elaborate on, if necessary, but I think they speak for themselves. I've attempted to engage the editor in discussion, but he hasn't responded to me. Rather than starting a war, I figured I'd let some other Wikipedians weigh in. Moralis (talk) 07:04, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * This isn't really the right forum for that sort of request. The first step, which you've done, is to post a question on the talk page. If that doesn't get sufficient attention, you could see if there is an appropriate Wikiproject, and see if you could get some attention with a posting on the Wikiproject talk page. Another option is to start an WP:RFC  SPhilbrick  T  21:12, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_AIDS_Treatment_Group
please review our article, thanks!

Analucia.cardoso (talk) 11:09, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

"DAMIEON PICKLES"
I have just edited my first article a biography of my career but am being told that I need to add references to verify its authenticity on some subjects within the biography. How do I do this in simple terms etc etc?????

Damo1970 (talk) 11:49, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Referencing for beginners is a good place to start.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:14, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Great Outdoors Group Fitness
Please can you get rid of the banner saying it is unreviewed? The page has credible sources, is unbiased and is accurate.

Samnutter3212 (talk) 13:16, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Opinions differ. I see zero examples of reliable sources. I see promotional writing, and I anticipate that it will be proposed for speedy deletion soon.


 * You should read WP:COI, as you have a massive conflict of interest. SPhilbrick  T  21:25, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Jean-Christophe Bonis


Ngybori (talk) 13:23, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Jean-Christophe Bonis
A brief presentation of the work of Jean-Christophe Bonis

Ngybori (talk) 13:24, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

User:2.218.243.173/Jettblack
I would like some feedback for this article. It's about a metal band from the UK who are starting to make it big.

Weebit999 (talk) 14:29, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

SearchTeam
After getting feedback the first time to add clarity, I went a little overboard and added a lot of clarifications to how SearchTeam works and what specifically the benefits are of collaborative search. Please let me know if the page is clear in explaining these two things.

Jtwall12 (talk) 14:52, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Much improved, although still could use a bit of editing. Some will find it on the promotional side, but I don't think it is so egregious (or maybe I just can't find specific items of concern).


 * The reference format is nonstandard, particularly the use of the final term, such as "article". Check out Citation templates, especially the cite web template which probably applies in most cases. Note that you can make is easy to use these templates by going to user preferences, then editing  and check the box next to " Enable dialogs for inserting links, tables and more". Assuming you don't have a useless browser such as IE7, (which I do, so I can't tell exactly what to look for ) you should see a dropdown box with templates, and you can pick Cite web and just fill it in.--  SPhilbrick  T  21:50, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

- Thanks for the feedback. I will take a look at the templates to make them in line with Wikipedia standards. Also, I will edit the text more to make it more neutral, in line with Wikipedia's quality standards. Thanks again! Jtwall12 (talk) 23:37, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Pediatric Ependymoma
Formatting and content suggestions are welcomed for this page.

Wikicomber (talk) 16:44, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

[] User:Johnpseudonym_inchicago/World_Class_Punk
New contributor, first time doing this ... is there anything I should revise/add before this is put on the site for real? I tried to upload the cover art for the album, but I don't think I can do that yet. Thanks for your feedback!

Johnpseudonym inchicago (talk) 16:45, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

User:GabiAPF/Hylesia_nigricans
This is my first article. I have edited several articles before, but it's the first time I've made one from scratch. I used material from the Spanish version of this article as well as other sources, and have done my best to link to all important references. I would like some input and/or advice before I move the article, and a photo would also be appreciated (I'm afraid I missed the chance to take one when the larvae were invading my garden, I was too focused on fighting them).

GabiAPF (talk) 17:48, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Very nice. One small thing is to be consistent about putting the reference outside the punctuation (i.e. to the right of the period). I can't help with a photo unless... have you searched Commons to see if there is one there? It could use more references in general. When you move it to mainspace (which you could certainly do now), be sure to use the translated page template on the talk page. Give me a message on my talk page if I can help you more specifically with any of this. Lady  of  Shalott  23:53, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * I looked and did not find anything on Commons. I took the liberty of going ahead and adding the link to the Spanish article. Lady  of  Shalott  00:00, 5 August 2011 (UTC)

Cathersal:Mike_Hughes
I am so sorry, but this is my FIRST Wikipedia article addition. I have been reading LOTS of articles, and have found that I have all of the article CONTENT and strong SOURCES in place, but need help with the FORMATTING, etc. this first time. I am hoping someone can assist ... I know I will do better in the future. Thank you, Tim

Cathersal (talk) 21:04, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Hi, I have made a couple changes already. I notice you have a Wikipedia article listed as a reference. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, we can't use Wikipedia as a reference for another Wikipedia article. Also, you need to make your references inline. To do the most basic thing, to make a footnote type this: . Then in the References section, type . I'm watching your draft now, and will be glad to help you as you start trying to do these things.  Lady  of  Shalott  22:50, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * (There are more complete, better ways to do citations, but I figure we can start with this to get them in place, and then work on expanding them.) Lady  of  Shalott  23:01, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

2030 (novel)
I'm requesting feedback per the tag atop the article. The article appeared on DYK.
 * Bump. Still needs review. --Lexein (talk) 12:59, 29 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Bump. Still needs review. --Lexein (talk) 12:48, 3 August 2011 (UTC)

Lexein (talk) 21:27, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks fine, I removed the unreviewed template.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:55, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks! --Lexein (talk) 21:57, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Mad EP
Chelqui (talk) 22:03, 4 August 2011 (UTC)

Heidi Zimmer
Please review my new article on Heidi Zimmer. Thank you!

Dante8 (talk) 23:54, 4 August 2011 (UTC)
 * After expanding all the existing sources, and adding one, the article needs more sources. It's mostly sourced from her website at the moment. I imagine mountain climbing-oriented and deaf-oriented publications will have contemporaneous information, but they seem to be poorly covered by the search engines.
 * This article was successfully nominated for deletion in 2010 for sourcing issues. To avoid a recurrence, a variety of additional sources should be found as soon as possible. The alternative is to "userfy" the article, in your user space, such as User:Dante8/Heidi Zimmer. --Lexein (talk) 20:46, 9 August 2011 (UTC)