Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 19

User:Dragon0418/new article name here
Please review and comment on this article. I recently met one of the band member of The Young Man in a business function and was intrigued by the short history of this interesting Hong Kong band.

Hope that Wiki can publish it and perhaps more people from Hong Kong can contribute.

Thanks.

Dragon0418 (talk) 02:41, 19 February 2011 (UTC)
 * I looked through the article and I can see your fascination, and also appreciate the good account of things you have written up. But ... it seems like what you've done is to write up your interview or discussion. That's what Wikipedia calls "Original Research". Surprisingly, Wikipedia does not publish original research. (Don't take my word for it, look at No original research). But since you've already done the work, you really ought to consider trying to publish it somewhere. I personally think this kind of history is worth preserving, but I can't suggest a proper forum.


 * You could write a Wikipedia article about the band if you can find reliable secondary sources to verify "notability". There is a list of criteria at WP:BAND that will show you what can be used to make a good case for notability. It all depends on being able to find published information. If you can do that, it should be an interesting article. Tkotc (talk) 07:28, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

Katharine Martha Houghton Hepburn
Please review this article and leave any necessary comments or critiques. Thank you for you assistance!

Golden helmet78 (talk) 02:55, 19 February 2011 (UTC)


 * That is all rather interesting. Good work.  You could clean up the references to web pages using cite web.  I quite liked the way you avoided explicitly mentioning that she was the actress Katherine Hepburn's mother until the last paragraph, and letting her article stand on it's own merits; but that might not be to everyone's liking.  I have provided links to this article from Katharine Hepburn and Houghton family.  Astronaut (talk) 14:39, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

Picken, Laurence
Is this good enough for an article stub on Laurence Picken? I hope this will entice other ethnomusicologists to improve the entry.

CambridgeLibrarian (talk) 10:11, 19 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Like with your other article, I think it's nicely written but perhaps an infobox would be a nice addition. Chevy  monte  carlo  15:50, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

John Hopkins (composer)
Is this good enough?

CambridgeLibrarian (talk) 12:46, 19 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I think it's a good start but I think it would benefit from something like an infobox. Chevy  monte  carlo  15:48, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

Thanks infobox added (I just don't have certain information!), and wikified layout. Hope that looks better to you too. CambridgeLibrarian (talk) 18:42, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Djmikecrash/Ric Records
This is my first Wikipedia article. First draft was rejected with a request to make notability clear. This is the second draft, looking for ideas on for further improvement before I request a move again.

Djmikecrash (talk) 16:51, 19 February 2011 (UTC)
 * This is a very frustrating article to review, because it looks like you have a subject that is of some historical interest, and one would hope an article could be written about it.


 * First, only half the article is about Ric Records. The second paragraph is about brother/sister company Ron Records. Have you considered making the article about Joe Ruffino? Just a thought ...


 * Existing references: (1) Although Irma Thomas is in the 50 voices somewhere, when you click on the link on your article, her name is nowhere on the page. You could fix this maybe. I see NPR has something like 4 articles on Thomas. If one mentions Ric, then a reference here would be worth doing. Otherwise, since you have a Wikilink to her name, I think this sentence adds little to the article. (2) I changed the Broven reference by using the "Cite book" template at Citation templates. This gives a more complete bibliographic picture. Although it is not necessary to do so, I suggest you use the "Cite web" template to record the details for your web references. (3) If you look at Broven's book in Google Books, it verifies the reason Ric folded (last sentence) on p. 146. The fact that Ron and Ric were sister labels is verified on p. 144. I suspect this book verifies many or most of the facts stated in your article.


 * The unfortunate aspect of your existing references is that Broven is the best source, but it is only in snippet view on Google books, so it's difficult to verify what it says. If you have access to a copy, maybe you can mine it for more references. You want to have a reference for all the facts if possible. A weakness to your existing web references is that they don't really say much about Ric, only the artists. So your documentation is still a little weak. If you have not already done so, search http://books.google.com for Ric Records and for Joe Ruffino. There are more things you can cite. More is definitely better. Tkotc (talk) 20:05, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Knitgeek/draft black prairie
This band has an empty link from The Decemberists Wikipedia page. My sources are from NPR and Paste Magazine. This is my first article attempt, it's kind of a stub, and I'd like some feedback as well as whether or not the band is notable enough.

Knitgeek (talk) 17:11, 19 February 2011 (UTC)
 * In case you haven't already done so, review WP:BAND for the list of criteria you can use to prove "notability". That being said, it looks like you have a chance under criterion 1, since you have more than one published work. The problem is that people quibble over how non-trivial the coverage is, or the nature of the forum in which the coverage appears. So if you could find one more article along the lines of the two you have, you'd have just that much more insurance. Still, it looks like you have a bare minimum.


 * The link to the band's own site cannot be used as a reference. You should move it to "External links".


 * If the band was formed in 2007, put that in the first paragraph. Clearly the album wasn't formed in 2007. There's some proofreading like that you could do. I think the first sentence as it stands is not too "encyclopedic" in tone and reads more like a bio note on an album cover. These are slight re-write issues, but will really help make the article look like a proper Wikipedia article.Tkotc (talk) 20:34, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

Article looks pretty good. I think it is notable enough for inclusion, though not for a huge article. Other bands' side projects (i.e. Fort Minor) have significant Wiki pages as well. Would you mind taking a quick look at my article and removing the tag at the top if you think it's ready to publish? Thanks! //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walker_Sands_Communications

Thanks for the great feedback! I've done some heavy editing, could you take a look again? Knitgeek (talk) 23:19, 22 February 2011 (UTC)

User:W_scottii/Wallace_A._Scott
A book about aviation poineer Wallace Scott was published earlier this month. I am working with the author and publisher on this article. The article is based upon the book "WA - The Life Story of Soaring Legend Wally Scott" and uses the book extensively as its reliable source. Thanks in advance for your feedback/comments.

W scottii (talk) 19:45, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

Walker Sands Communicationshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walker_Sands_Communications
This article is completed, but it still has the tag at the top noting that someone needs to review the article and remove the tag. Can someone provide feedback and take off the tag if it's sufficient to be published? It's a pretty quick read. Thanks!

Chicago2011 (talk) 20:18, 19 February 2011 (UTC)

I believe the current version of the first sentence accommodates the concerns of all 3 editors who weighed in. Chris314 (talk) 00:43, 20 February 2011 (UTC)