Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 24

MinKwon Center for Community Action
This is my first article, about a nonprofit organization in New York that didn't have a Wikipedia article on it yet. It needs a final review--would appreciate any feedback!

Joy8o (talk) 01:23, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Center for the Assessment and Remediation of Reading Difficulties
I've made a few changes about a non-profit organization, CARRD. Feedback on updated article would be much appreciated. Thank you!

Alexe3 (talk) 02:07, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Brass Agency
The page is about the current owner of a Grade II listed building in Headingley, Leeds, UK. The building itself has a wikipedia page Moorfield House, Headingley and the current owner is mentioned, however there's no page for owner in Wikipedia yet. So I thought it might be a nice idea to provide some historical information about it. Feedback is very much appreciated. Thanks.

Mibusouha (talk) 09:43, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
 * I think there are perhaps some notability issues with the article, although you have some good references. Don't forget to add some suitable names to your references, like this:

Chevy monte  carlo  11:14, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Miracle Park (community)
Looking for general feedback on my first article. It covers a community for convicted sex offenders in Florida.

Yllt (talk) 10:30, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Seems okay to me. You have a number of reliable references, which is good, and it seems to be fairly well written and informative. Nice job! Chevy  monte  carlo  11:11, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Siteselection/Oberbruch Industrial Park (Industriepark Oberbruch)
I created a draft of my first article on Wikipedia. Please, how can I move this draft to the public sector of Wikipedia? Thanks for your kind help! Siteselection (talk) 10:33, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
 * You can request a move. Also note that your article has junk at the top and default text like "new article content ..." Yllt (talk) 10:54, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Freshstrawberry/Jasmia Robinson
Is this the right use of a notable person, confirm use of references.

Freshstrawberry (talk) 11:08, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Ashwinindia/Friends rarely
How is my article?

Ashwinindia (talk) 13:21, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

User:AvrokoPA/AvroKO
This is my first time creating an article and I would appreciate some feedback on what I should do to make it more appropriate.

AvrokoPA (talk) 15:12, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/LifeKraze
how do i publish my draft?

Acmmonk (talk) 16:46, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

User:LordFluffy/Lords of Creation (Role Playing Game)
Hiya.

I've got an article I wrote a little while back and I'm not sure where to go from here. The game I wrote the article about and the author are referenced by other Wikipedia entries and there is a link in the author's entry that goes to a novel of the same name (one of the big reasons for me wanting to write it). I have found every reference I could to the game on line and the sources I cite seem to be used as reliable sources in other, similar articles. I'm not sure what else to add.

Please review the article and tell me what I can add to get it greenlit, if anything?

Sincerely, Marshall "Stephen" Bush LordFluffy (talk) 18:35, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Ecological fitting
Succulentpope (talk) 18:42, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Samorgan44/Chris Fleming
Attempting to demonstrate notability about a paranormal researcher while maintaining neutrality about a controversial subject.

Samorgan44 (talk) 19:21, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
 * (1) You can at least make the article sound a bit more neutral if you follow the Wikipedia convention of referring to your subject by his surname in the body of the article. (2) I highly recommend using the templates at Citation templates for your references. Here in particular I think full citation data is desirable. So, for example, the name of the work cited in reference 5 should be "Chris Fleming's Unknown Magazine". This is important because it shows that the source of the biographical information was essentially self-published. (Even though you have described the magazine in the article body.) And these templates just make the references that much more complete. (3) The title of the magazine in that separate section, shouldn't that be italics? (4) The paragraphs on Unknown Magazine seem to have no sources. It would be good if you had a footnote here, if that's possible.


 * Overall he seems like an interesting subject, and the article does seem reasonably neutral. It would be nice if you could find some more third party sources, but what exists exists, I suppose. (The problem is that someone may carp about some of your sources as they are tied closely with the subject of the article.) Good luck with the article.Tkotc (talk) 03:30, 27 February 2011 (UTC)

Rebecca School
This is a relatively short article, but it's new, so any feedback greatly appreciated. Thanks! By the time you read this, I also should have added the school's logo, which should be useable under the Wikipedia logo fair use policy.

Charles3395 (talk) 19:25, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Marcus Clarke (puppeteer)
A bit of an odd one for feedback here, I'm an experienced editor, but I've re-written a BLP where the subject is Wikipedia user. I'd appreciate someone looking over and checking that the article is up to scratch Worm   TT   20:38, 24 February 2011 (UTC)
 * The article is wonderful. Experience shows. Here's a little point to consider. I'm not sure there is a preferred way to do this so I am perhaps commenting out of ignorance, but to me the Wikilinks to "puppeteer" and "voice actor" would invite more clicks if done in the main article (the terms are both in the lead paragraph) rather than in the info box. All the sections are there. They're beautiful (the tables). Lots of good reference links. Go ahead and scratch ;) Tkotc (talk) 03:08, 26 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you for that! was worried it was a little to positive or I'd missed something. I'll stick in a couple of pictures and leave it on my watchlist.  Worm    TT   09:11, 28 February 2011 (UTC)

Arthur Betts (b.1917)
My first short article's about a former pro soccer player, his career and achievements. I'd really value some feedback on style and layout please. Thanks in anticipation.

Worpete (talk) 20:45, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

TheFirecrackerPress
Please review & let me know any suggestions. Thanks!

Smokebomb (talk) 21:02, 24 February 2011 (UTC)

Alfred John West (cinematographer)
Although there is a website at http://www.ournavy.org.uk dedicated to this important film and photography pioneer, there's been no Wikipedia article - so I have written one based on all the research I have done on Alfred J West so far. 81.86.142.64 (talk) 12:27, 26 February 2011 (UTC)