Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 6

User:Osho741/Andrew Bell
Just want some feedback on my article so far. Does it need more sources? Is the grammer and such up to par?

Osho741 (talk) 01:33, 6 February 2011 (UTC)


 * The article is really nice and I hope you can make it work. The sources are really weak, however. I clicked on the deadzebra link and got a 404 error. The New York Times link gave me a login page. And I don't think you can use interviews with the subject himself as sources, although you could put them in External links or Extra reading or a similar subsection. So please work on finding some external links to "reliable sources" that discuss your subject and his work.


 * After you have used your subject's full name at the beginning of the article, refer to him by his surname.


 * If he published three books, list them.


 * There is nothing mentioned of his education and experience. Is anything known?


 * Your External links need an additional bit of formatting: a phrase describing what the link is to. I did this for your first such link (to googleblog). All you do is type a space following the URL, and then the phrase. Magic! Tkotc (talk) 03:17, 6 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobbi_Mastrangelo
I have requested feedback several times on the article about Bobbi Mastrangelo. I am not the subject of this article, but for some reason feedback seems to think this is an autobiography. Five reliable sources have been noted. Several edits have been made, but no feedback or review has occurred. I would like to request a review and any suggestions you may have.

Cgedlund (talk) 05:34, 6 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry we missed it last time, this page gets quite backlogged. If you don't get help at first on wikipedia, keep asking!
 * I think the reader erronously assumed it was an autobiography, as it originally wasn't formatted like a wikipedia article and read a little like an advert. It's improved a lot since then, and now looks pretty good, so I've removed all the tags.
 * In terms of suggestions now, I think it would be better to have more inline citations, so that the reader can more easily verify each bit of information in the article and see where to find out more. The article already has two (in the references section), which is a good start, but I think some of the external links could be changed to inline citations.
 * All the best --Physics is all gnomes (talk) 14:39, 6 February 2011 (UTC)

User:CaroleHenson/Shining Star The purpose of the article is to describe the ways that someone may be identified as a shining star and resources for personal development.
This is my first article for Wikipedia and I would love to hear your feedback! Thanks so much!

CaroleHenson (talk) 10:39, 6 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, this article does not meet wikipedia's standards for inclusion. Please look over what Wikipedia is not (including a place for personal essays or original research). You may want to check out Alternative outlets to think of somewhere else to submit this. Calliopejen1 (talk) 21:09, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Ok, thanks for checking it out. I  was so new here at the time - very first thing I worked on, I thought the update would go to the discussion page.  I'll figure out how to delete it and take care of it. --CaroleHenson (talk) 22:35, 15 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Apagnes/VestAndPage
Dear all, please review this article for style and content. Any feedback will be highly appreciated. Apagnes (talk) 15:06, 6 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Anagrambooks/RachelCohn
I do not understand how to add footnotes, paragraph headings, or links to other wiki pages (i.e. for David Levithan, Nick & Norah etc. etc.). Anagrambooks (talk) 16:19, 6 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Here is a link to a page explaining headings Wikipedia:Headings and this one for Manual of Style links. I'm not positive what you mean about "Footnotes" if your refering to "References" then look here: Referencing for beginners. Hope this helps. Cheers Mlpearc   powwow  18:25, 6 February 2011 (UTC)

Cedar Lake (California)
There has been a collaboration of work on this article and I think it's is now beyond a start class. Stepheng3 and Mlpearc and others. Mlpearc  powwow  16:45, 6 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Wikiwed/Jesmond Vale
I'm a new user and have written an article about a geographical area in Newcastle upon Tyne. It is just the start of the article and I hope to expand it but would prefer it to be on line as soon as possible. Three sources included.

Wikiwed (talk) 21:57, 6 February 2011 (UTC)
 * What a nice little article! (Great to see something non-spam here...) I've moved it to be online already. I think it's good enough to be "live", though you can always keep improving it! I would add more wikilinks (using brackets - looks like you already have the hang of this) and a picture if you have one that you have taken yourself. If you have more questions, you can ask at New contributors' help page. Calliopejen1 (talk) 21:16, 7 February 2011 (UTC)