Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 7

== I cannot get my new article to stay in the user page without finalising it, so aploogies but I have attached my new article for feedback here, very sorry! Thanks! Bolsover Cruise ClubBolsover Cruise Club is an independent UK ‘cruise only’ specia ==

Hi I was wanting feedback on this new article I have written with reference indentations etc but I can get it to stay in my userpage without finalising it, and at present it is not ready so apologies but I have added the article here! Sorry, thanks!

Bolsover Cruise ClubBolsover Cruise Club is an independent UK ‘cruise only’ specialist travel agent.

Company HistoryFounded by A. L. Wilson, the late father of Derek Wilson, in the 1960's as a joint Travel and Estate Agency, Bolsover Cruise Club was a local Travel Agent that serviced the needs of Bolsover and the surrounding villages. In the late 1970’s current Principals Derek, Michael and Audrey Wilson, and Julie Straw took over the reigns. They see the cruise industry as being a completely separate entity and thus the company decided to concentrate on cruising specifically and has left the more general Travel Agency business. The Development and Growth of the Cruise Industry. Oxford: Butterworth-Heinemann. 1999. pp. 91. ISBN 0750643846.

In 1987 Bolsover Cruise Club was awarded as the number one individual agent for P&O Cruises and Princess Cruises which they have held continuously for 24 years. Peak District News (February/2011). "Bolsover Cruise Club retains unbeaten title, marking 24 years at the top". Peak District News. http://www.peakdistrict-news.co.uk/vbolsover-cruise-club-retains-unbeaten-title-marking-24-years-at-the-top-i184.html. Retrieved February 7, 2011. Bolsover does not deal in the ‘package’ type of cruise but in a more traditional product, an area that requires specialist knowledge. The Development and Growth of the Cruise Industry. Oxford: Butterworth-Heinemann. 1999. pp. 91. ISBN 0750643846.

In 1998 the company moved to new purpose-built premises, in recognition of the fact that many customers liked to make a personal visit. The Development and Growth of the Cruise Industry. Oxford: Butterworth-Heinemann. 1999. pp. 91. ISBN 0750643846. Further expansion saw the company move into even larger premises in March 2005, ‘The Cruise Centre’ at Barlborough Links, Chesterfield, three miles north of the original Bolsover site. The brand new Cruise Centre accommodates up to 70 Cruise Sales Consultants and incorporates an in-house Cruise Bureau to cater for those members who prefer to book in person.

Cruise HolidaysBolsover Cruise Club provides cruise ship holidays with a wide selection of cruise lines including P&O Cruises, Cunard Line, Fred Olsen Cruise Lines, Norwegian Cruise Line, Princess Cruises, Royal Caribbean International, Celebrity Cruises, MSC Cruises and Costa Cruises.

They also specialise in the luxury market with operators including Crystal Cruises, MV Hebridean Princess, Regent Seven Seas Cruises, Seabourn, Silversea and Swan Hellenic Discovery Cruises.

Referenceshttp://www.robinhoodairport.com/other-pages/1190/bolsover-cruise-club.html http://www.peakdistrict-news.co.uk/vbolsover-cruise-club-retains-unbeaten-title-marking-24-years-at-the-top-i184.html http://www.qcruise.co.uk/cruisenews/showthread.php?threadid=50447613&styleid=9

External Linkshttp://www.bolsovercruiseclub.co.uk/ http://www.pocruises.com/Travel-Agent/ http://blogs.travelweekly.co.uk/blogs/cruise-lines/2009/12/carnival-uk-rewards-its-top-ag.html http://www.qcruise.co.uk/cruisenews/showthread.php?threadid=50447613&styleid=9 http://blogs.travelweekly.co.uk/movabletype/cgi-bin/mt-search.cgi?IncludeBlogs=31&tag=travel%20agents&limit=20

Crociera01 (talk) 11:29, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Your article seems to exist as User:Crociera01/Bolsover_Cruise_Club. I'm going to take a crack at guessing the problem here. (Other editors tempted to respond should look at Crociera01's talk page first.)


 * When you start an article on Wikipedia, you can attempt to create one in the regular Wikipedia area, or you can create one in your own "userspace". I think that when you created your article, it was not in your own userspace, and someone moved your draft to your userspace for you. (The purpose for doing this is that the article will not be deleted in your userspace, but it could be deleted from the regular Wikipedia area if there are certain problems with it.) Possibly you are having difficulty finding your draft. It is at User:Crociera01/Bolsover_Cruise_Club. Click on that link and you are taken to your article draft where you can amend, edit, and perfect it to your heart's content.


 * When you are done with the draft, and you are convinced there is nothing more to be done with it, and you believe it should be available to regular users of Wikipedia, then your article can be moved. This is a simple process that you can do, or you can ask for help doing so by posting here.


 * I hope this helps. If you still have questions about the process, or how to edit your draft, just post the question here. It is not necessary or useful to post the whole article here on a message page. Tkotc (talk) 06:36, 8 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Lazaks/Azuero Earth Project
Lazaks (talk) 14:55, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * So... your articles got deleted pretty fast as blatant advertising. I have restored them to your userspace, but don't move them back out again yet - they'll just be deleted. Articles must be neutral and establish why the organization is notable (see WP:N, WP:ORG). I'm not sure this organization is notable. You'll need to add some independent reliable sources showing how this organization has been covered in the news, etc. and why it meets our notability requirements. Also, English wikipedia doesn't accept articles in Spanish. That one would have to go to http://es.wikipedia.org, though it has the same problems and would also likely be deleted right away. Calliopejen1 (talk) 20:39, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

International Schools Services -- Please review and help get this wiki-worthy. Thank you!!
I need help getting links and correct formatting for categories and article organization. Thanks!

OpenMinds2010 (talk) 15:26, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Hi, I see some areas where the article could be improved and would be willing to do the work, but could you please show notability first. The first two references merely mention the ISS in passing, and the third reference is to a down website. Please add a third party reference whos main focus is the ISS. Thanks, Passionless   -Talk  03:28, 8 February 2011 (UTC)

[]
I'm wondering if i need to link cities mentioned (such as Washington DC) to the Wikipedia pages for each city.

I'm also wondering if I should provide external links to the band's website, the film's website, or anything else.

Thanks for your help!

Akaempfer (talk) 17:09, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Hi, firstly your article has no references about the topic, so notability for a film has not been established (this is critical to the articles survival). If you can prove notability, but not that production has begun, you will want to wait until production begins, or the movie is actually released. To your questions, see WP:BUILD for when wikilinks are (un)necessary, and yes you can include external links to appropriate and useful websites, as seen in WP:EL. Passionless   -Talk  03:44, 8 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Kelleykavanaugh/Titwrench Fest
I may have a conflict of interest as I have been to this festival and I know several of the bands involved? This is my first attempt at a publishable article and I am just looking for general feedback.

Kelleykavanaugh (talk) 17:20, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * It's looking pretty good. I would try to find more independent news articles covering the festival and add those to the article (like the AV Club one, not just more stuff from the official site) so that the festival's notability is established. Calliopejen1 (talk) 20:41, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Lolaberic/Enter your new article name here
Hi, I have been working with other editors on my article about RockCorps. I have got reliable sources to prove notibility and have put in references via the set templates. Would you mind just checking through to see if there are any obvious reasons why this article should not be published on wikipedia? I am worried I have not made it notable anough or that it doesn't sound neutral? Should I change any particular bits? Thank you for your time and any help.

Lolaberic (talk) 18:02, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Well I believe you have shown the topic to be notable enough. The word 'amazing' from "Collective members are offered exclusive tickets and are entered into amazing prize draws" should be removed, WP:PEACOCK. I'm not sure what "an audience of millions has heard the message that ‘volunteering is cool’." means, as it just said only 80,000 had gone to the concerts, it's confusing. For the part "RockCorps’ principal idea is “Got 2 Give to Get (U.S.), Give, Get Given (UK), Tu Donne, Tu Recois (France).", well I don't think listing the different slogans is necessary, maybe you could keep both of the two english ones, I don't know of a rule about it, but the French one is not needed on Engligh wikipedia. After reading the article I was curious if the company was non-profit or not, and in which nation it was founded as it only says "first founded in 2003 and launched in the US in 2005". Under the heading "About" brand partner should not be capitalized, and making wikilinks to each non-profit org listed would be appropriate. For the heading "The Collective", I may be mistaken but I think it should be "The collective" and as such all other cases of "The Collective" should be changed to "the collective", and adding a wikilink to Ticketmaster would be appropriate. You may also want to add wikilinks to those artists in the history which are mentioned in the history but not in the intro, and there is an excessive space too. Passionless   -Talk  09:15, 8 February 2011 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your help and advice, I really appreciate it. I have made all the changes apart from 'The Collective' - I think it should maybe stay as capitals as it is a name - in the source article it writes it in this way. Do you think that is ok? Thank you again.-->Lolaberic

Chris Barth
Topherjules (talk) 18:17, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * While the article looks good, and notablity is established with the allmusic reference, I think all the external links should be deleted per WP:LINKSTOAVOID, specifically points 1, 10, and 11. Though perhaps one of the links might qualify as an 'official site', could I get a second opinion on this, Thanks, Passionless   -Talk  09:33, 8 February 2011 (UTC)

Nafa-khum
what else can i add to enrich this article?

RIPENDIL (talk) 18:23, 7 February 2011 (UTC)
 * I gave your article a bit of an overhaul, because it looked a bit too much like a travel guide (one of the things that Wikipedia is not). It's important to explain from the beginning what exactly the article is about. I also added what I think is the waterfall's name in Bengali. If I'm wrong, please fix it! Going forward, I think the most important thing to add would be citations from reliable sources like books and newspaper articles. (I appreciate that there may not be many online sources on Bangladeshi topics that are reliable, but maybe you have a useful book at your house?) Right now, the sources for the article in the external links don't look very reliable, though I can't read Bengali so I can't tell that well. Good work on your first article! Calliopejen1 (talk) 20:54, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

thank you for your guideline and co-operation Calliopejen1, sorry i couldn't find any relative books or links expect a bengali blog page where they said it is the largest waterfall of the country by volume. Can you check my another article? here is the link: Madhabkunda waterfall

Visualase Laser Eye Clinic
Just wanting feedback on the formatting of the page!

Charlottebritton (talk) 18:25, 7 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks like your article was deleted as blatant advertising. Please read WP:SPAM, WP:COI, and WP:NPOV. Calliopejen1 (talk) 21:05, 7 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Also read WP:N because I doubt your business is notable, and so the article probably would be deleted even if it were neutral. Calliopejen1 (talk) 21:06, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

SVM_(Silicon_Valley_Microelectronics,_Inc.)
I see this note on my article:

"This page is a new unreviewed article. This template should be removed once the page has been reviewed by someone other than its creator; if necessary the page should be appropriately tagged for cleanup. If you are the article's creator, you can seek feedback on your new article. (January 2011)"

How do I get someone to review my article?

Thanks Marvistaketing (talk) 19:00, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

http://www.e-pao.net/epSubPageExtractor.asp?src=features.Profile_of_Manipuri_Personalities.Donny_Luwang.MK_Binodini_Literature
Dear Wiki Team, This is regarding information about MK Binodini who is renowed Artist from North East Part of India, Manipur. Mr. Somi Roy and I have been trying to post the contents. At this moment we have all the materials with us. We would like to add more relaible sources and references. In fact we also looking forward to add her Profile Picture.

Kindly let me know the easiest way to post the contents.

Thanks! Regards, Duran Thiyam, Mumbai Somi Roy, New York.

Email: cyberdura@gmail.com Cyberdura (talk) 19:06, 7 February 2011 (UTC)
 * It looks like you are just pasting text from elsewhere on the internet. All contributions to Wikipedia must be in your own words. Please read the warnings on your talk page. If you continue to add copyright violation content to wikipedia, you will be blocked from editing. If you own the content that exists elsewhere on the internet, please follow the procedure at WP:IOWN. Calliopejen1 (talk) 21:00, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:RoyHanney/small-scale_project_management
I have drafted an article on the topic of small-scale project management methodologies. It was originally presented as an academic paper so I am interested in receiving feedback on tone and voice of the article as well as if it makes any sense and is correctly structured. While it is aimed at people who have a knowledge of project management as a discipline it should be able to be understood by the lay reader. I have yet to fully proof read the article so there may be typos and other grmmatical erros but I will sort this over the next few days.

Any feedback is welcome.

82.24.113.247 (talk) 19:46, 7 February 2011 (UTC)
 * I haven't looked at the article thoroughly, but your biggest problem is going to be with the rule WP:NOR. Essentially, Wikipedia doesn't accept original ideas or synthesis. We just want articles summarizing things that have been published elsewhere. I would try to frame your article more as a summary of what other authors have said about small-scale project management. Calliopejen1 (talk) 21:03, 7 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate_one
In the title of the Climate One webpage, the "One" isn't capitalized. I don't see a link or area to make that correction.

Thank you.

Jachien (talk) 21:16, 7 February 2011 (UTC)


 * I've WP:MOVEd the page for you; it's now located at Climate One.
 * I'm not sure that this WP:CLUB program should be presented in its own article. It might be better to WP:MERGE it with the parent organization, with more focus on what it is and why it's important, and less focus on a laundry list of events/speakers.  If you decide to do that, then this page would be WP:REDIRECTed to the parent organization's article, so that someone searching for it would still have a very easy path to the article.  WhatamIdoing (talk) 23:45, 10 February 2011 (UTC)

User:ReindeerFunRun/Reindeer Fun Run
This is my first article and I'm looking for feedback. I hope to add photos, but am unable to yet due to new account I believe. Thanks!!

ReindeerFunRun (talk) 01:32, 8 February 2011 (UTC)


 * It looks like a fun little event. I have two concerns:
 * I'm not sure that it technically qualifies for its own article, however, because the WP:Independent sources are from the local area. Articles on subjects that don't qualify often end up being deleted].  You might consider WP:MERGEing it into the article on the city.
 * It contains some information that doesn't really belong in a regular encyclopedia article. For example, the mission statement and the list of committee members aren't really the sort of thing you would have expected to find in your school's World Book Encyclopedia, are they?  So it might be better to omit that sort of information.

Whatever you decide, one simple task that needs to be done is "wikilinking" the important subjects mentioned in the article. You can see the example I left in the article. Also, the "new this year" lists would probably look more encyclopedic if they were re-written as short paragraphs.

Good luck, WhatamIdoing (talk) 23:55, 10 February 2011 (UTC)

Thank you - I really appreciate the feedback. I will make the changes and additions that you recommend and probably ask for help again after that.