Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 February 9

User:Osho741/Andrew Bell
Just wanting general feedback on how well the article reads. Any changes I should consider? Formated ok? Grammer ok? Issues with sources?

Osho741 (talk) 02:22, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

User: Osho741/Andrew Bell
Just general feedback. Does the article read well? Are the sources ok? Grammer and spelling ok?
 * Thanks for contributing! Here are some of my suggestions/concerns (my questions don't have to be answered). Why should urban vinyl be capitalized? Put the second paragraph in a separate section "Career". Is the author of the blog a published expert? See WP:BLOGS. Where is this ebay talk being sourced? If there is no source, remove. And please give more than urls: Citing_sources. Thanks! =) Jesanj (talk) 00:30, 10 February 2011 (UTC)

Osho741 (talk) 05:51, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Tkotc/Bertrand William Sinclair
Anyone want to look at this? An author from Project Gutenberg for whom Wikipedia was missing an article. Sinclair was a real life cowboy (he ran away from home at 14 to become one) who wrote about cowboys in Montana (and later a Salmon fisherman writing about Salmon fishermen in Canada).

Tkotc (talk) 06:58, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

My suggestion would be to break up the text a bit by adding subheads. Take a look at Wikipedia articles on people to get an idea for appropriate subheads (i.e. "Early Life). Would you mind taking a look at my article? If it's publishable, the tag at the top of the page needs to be removed. Thanks! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peru_Elementary_School_District_124

Chicago2011 (talk) 19:11, 9 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Done. Tkotc (talk) 02:15, 10 February 2011 (UTC)

Professor Jyoti K Parikh
Ganotra (talk) 08:41, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Checkcopy/Roopinder
Could you kindly let me know if the article I have written meets with the Wikipedia standards? I have checked the notability of the person from by searching both in newspaper articles and on Google. I intend to add more articles on personalities from Punjab, India, where I live, and would thus appreciate feedback. Thank you very much for your time.

Checkcopy (talk) 11:44, 9 February 2011 (UTC)
 * Hi,
 * I see one serious problem with your article: The sources you have cited do not appear to me to be reliable secondary sources. Such sources are important for all articles, but they are particularly essential for biographies of living people like this one.  The blog is obviously a primary source; the book's author summary is likely also a primary source - though I'm not sure; and I couldn't find mention of Roopinder Singh at the Punjabi University link at all.
 * Please look over Notability (people), particularly the Journalists section; then try to find some reliable secondary source (preferably two or more sources) that say Roopinder Singh meets one or more of these criteria.
 * For future reference, there are two other very minor issues I see with your article:
 * Never use an external link (particularly one in the body of an article) when a wikilink will do.
 * This is really minor, and there are bots out there that will fix this for you.
 * Good luck with your search for sources! -- Ken_g6 (factors &#124; composites) 22:14, 13 February 2011 (UTC)

Chris Barth
Please review, thanks.

Thank you very much Chris. I have taken your suggestions and made changes. Do have a look at the article now, if you have the time. Thanks you, again. Topherjules (talk) 13:30, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Arigg/Yoodoo.biz
Hi there,

I would like feedback as to whether my referencing is good enough and if the subject satisfies 'notability'

Many Thanks

Arigg (talk) 14:20, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

[] Final Review Needed
Can someone take a quick look over this page? It's pretty short... it just needs someone to remove the tag to make it live.

Chicago2011 (talk) 15:15, 9 February 2011 (UTC)
 * I think your article was already "live" ! Now it's kicking. Tkotc (talk) 02:17, 10 February 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Bread_(Game_Developer)
Needs more info and Japanese links!

Mr.Dr.Officer 16:41, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

plasq
I would like to know what I could do to make this article better all around. I'd appreciate any suggestions you have.

Thekmc (talk) 16:45, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

Rockcorps
Hi, I have been working on this with other editors within my user space. I now think it is ready for publishing. Would you mind looking over it to see if it needs claring up or if there are any major changes that need to be made. Thank you for any help!

Lolaberic (talk) 17:48, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

User:SaundersCW/Magnolia House Bed and Breakfast
My first article, do I have the references and links done correctly? Also is this categorized correctly?

SaundersCW (talk) 20:10, 9 February 2011 (UTC)

User:Davidstreever/Matthew_Feiner
Hello, I am a new Wikipedia user and would like to start contributing to my city/local people/cycling in the region.

I know the number one suggestion is "more references", but was actually wondering if I had too many for such a minor article. I am writing about a local bike shop owner who is well-known in the region for his advocacy work & civic work, and have 9 references. It is a very short article, so I am not sure if that many references are desirable? Thank you--

Davidstreever (talk) 22:06, 9 February 2011 (UTC)
 * The article is nominally about a person. The essential claim to his notability in your topic sentence is that he is a cycling advocate. So what I looked for in your article were "multiple published secondary sources which are reliable, intellectually independent of each other, and independent of the subject" that described his cycling advocacy. See, WP:BASIC. The problem is that only reference 3 (nhregister.com) seems related to that issue, and even it is marred by being more of an interview than an analysis or comment on the work your subject has done. It would improve your article a lot if you could find a couple of more links along this line.


 * An alternative angle is to have an article about the bike shop, but this is a very touchy thing to do, because you have to discuss what's notable rather than just have what is effectively a big commercial for what might indeed be a great bike shop. You might want to look at WP:COMPANY to see what's involved.


 * Note, the Bicycling Magazine link gave me a "page not found" error. Other than this, I wouldn't say you have too many references. Only that you need to have a couple of more focused in on the weak point mentioned above. Good luck on your article. Tkotc (talk) 02:34, 10 February 2011 (UTC)


 * Hey, thank you so much. I will take a review of the references (there have been several more articles about him that I may not have gotten). The bicycling magazine one must have changed/come off the web, but I will look for that. Thank you also for the suggestion about the bike shop. The bike shop has been a central part of a lot of bike advocacy, and I feel it is notable, but I was hesitant to write that article first because it is a commercial enterprise. I will revise the person article, find better sources, and then take a stab at the company article based on the link you provided. Davidstreever (talk) 21:51, 10 February 2011 (UTC)


 * I have added some additional sources (updated the national "Bicycling Magazine" article link to go to Google Books), and added additional sources (from the Yale Daily News and the Independent and the Register) referencing Feiner's advocacy work. Would love any additional feedback. Am uncertain about how best to show the google books link because it is so long. Is that kosher?Davidstreever (talk) 22:12, 10 February 2011 (UTC)