Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 January 1

User:Netherstar/Draft
I am attempting to rewrite the article "Trachtenberg System" I have added the rules for the remaining numbers 3 thru 12. Provided standardized format for each rule. Provided an example for the General Multiplication section. And tried to clear up the explanation in the General Multiplication section. Also, could an admin please remove my stumble → Request for feedback:Untitledhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Netherstar/Draft from 2011 January 1.

Netherstar (talk) 04:53, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry but this isn't the right approach. We've had an article on the Trachtenberg system for years. You have some material not in that article, but the best course is for you to edit the existing article and expand it. If you think it is impossible to do so via edits, and need to start an entirely new draft, you should discuss this at the article talk page, but it is extremely rare that such a approach is taken. I see no obvious reason why some of you material e.g. the rules for multiplication by 11 or 12, couldn't be added to the existing article.-- SPhilbrick  T  22:42, 2 January 2011 (UTC)


 * My biggest concern was the inconsistancy of the article. Different layouts for different sections, repitition of concepts by different editors in different sections.  Too many editors.  I'll take your advice and post on the discussion page.  I'll wait a year and see what happens.  Netherstar (talk) 00:02, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Davis_(American_actor)
I would like to post my completed feature. Will someone please take a look to ensure it meets specifications. I included several reference citations to back up my assertions. Also, I uploaded a promotional photo, however, I'm not seeing it on the page. Any guidance on this would be appreciated.

Deadlinedd (talk) 05:49, 1 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Cikputeh/Mal Lees
Hi Wiki team

This is my first article and I would therefore appreciate any feedback you may have. I have been having trouble working out how to add my article name to my article. I;m sure it's quite simple, but can;t seem to work it out. I would also be keen to know whether biography style articles should feature photos or not.

Thankyou

Cikputeh (talk) 07:42, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I moved the article to a more appropriate title.
 * You have some references, the usual challenge for new articles. That said, there are two, and that's fewer than desired. I don't know how others will feel, but more would be better.


 * Photos are not just allowed, but encouraged. However, they must not be violations of copyright rules. If you can obtain an acceptable photograph, consider including it in an Infobox


 * The use of "Mal" instead of "Malcom" is discouraged without strong reasons. Subsequent references to an individual generally use the last name, not the first. See Manual of Style for general advice.


 * You need a bit of work on formatting. The present article is seven "paragraphs" each containing a single sentence. Check out WP:LEAD specifically.-- SPhilbrick  T  22:58, 2 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fr._John_Berchmans_Puthuparambil_OFM_CAP
Today is the 95th birthday of Fr. John Berchmans Puthuparambil OFM CAP, who was the first Provincial Minister of Autonomous Indian Province of the famous Catholic order of Capuchin. This article is posted as a tribute of his meritorious service rendered to India Catholic Community. Many people consider him as their 'Patron Saint' and many of them are blessed by his intercessory prayers to God.

You could find proofs of these facts from various sites and books published. I have put 2 of those links in the 'External Links' section.

Varkeychen (talk) 09:54, 1 January 2011 (UTC)

James Herbert Leach
Biographical article, Col James H Leach, US Army, Veteran and hero of WWII and Vietnam. See http://jimmieleach.us for partial biography. Seek comments on Wiki article draft.

Fvhayden (talk) 16:08, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks pretty good.


 * My main advice is to take a look at WP:LEAD, to see if you could pull out a good lede section.
 * Is there a picture available? It has to comply with WP:COPYRIGHT rules. If you have one, it might be nice to include it in an Infobox.
 * References should enable a reader to track down the reference - it doesn't have to be online, but there should be enough info so one could figure out how to find it. The last reference is to an efficiency report—is there more information? Is it in the St. Louis archives?
 * You might check out WikiProject Military history. There might be some helpful resources, or volunteers who could give you advice more on point.
 * Citations generally go after the first punctuation following the item to be cited. I fixed a few, but some others should be addressed. See Manual of Style or footnotes for more details.-- SPhilbrick  T  15:53, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaelan_Joyce
What do you guys think?

Is the evidence provided in the references good enough or do I need to do more research on the guy??

Do you think the article will meet the wikipedia criteria and be left on or not?

Manolo1234 (talk) 17:46, 1 January 2011 (UTC)

Leader9091/David Chung
I do not know how to add the personal information box to the right of the article for information such as height, weight, place of birth etc. Would really appreciate your assistance.

Leader9091 (talk) 19:35, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * See Infobox-- SPhilbrick  T  23:02, 2 January 2011 (UTC)

Flory-Fox equation
Skm10505 (talk) 21:12, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * ✅ Neat article. See my slight improvements: edit1 edit2 edit3 and edit4. You can definitely move it to Wikipedia. Happy editing. --Kubanczyk (talk) 09:49, 2 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks good. Feel free to move it to main space. If you don't know how, just ask, and I'll do it.-- SPhilbrick  T  00:03, 3 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I added the DOI for some references-- SPhilbrick  T  00:17, 3 January 2011 (UTC)
 * SPhilbrick, I made the citation change that you suggested - shame on me for not getting that right the first time. All the other edits look good.  Unfortunately, I am so new to Wikipedia that I don't know how to move this article to the mainspace.  In fact, I'm not even sure I'm replying in the correct fashion.  ~ skm10505
 * I moved your page for you, but here's how to do it in the future. In the top header area of your draft page there is the outline of a star at the right side of the line. To the right of the star there is an innocuous-looking triangle symbol with the point pointing down. If you click on this, you get a drop-down menu item "move". Click on that and you get a page. In that page there is the draft title of your article ...UserSkm10505/Article name. Just erase everything except Article name and click to complete the move. You will hopefully get a reply that the move was successful. Thanks for the article. Tkotc (talk) 05:17, 5 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Dax-Devlon_Ross&oldid=405383104
This is my first article and I need assistance in keeping it from being deleted. I appreciate any and all help! Thank you in advance.

DDRfan (talk) 21:49, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, too late. It has been deleted. I took a quick look at it, you should read Manual of Style. I didn't look into whether there were Notability issues.-- SPhilbrick  T  00:21, 3 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Another suggestion is that you use the Article Wizard to create your articles, paying attention to the Wizard and its suggestions, and opting to create the articles in your user-space so that your articles don't get deleted during the drafting process. I hope you read the comments on your user talk page. There were some serious issues you would have to address if you try to re-create your article.Tkotc (talk) 19:41, 4 January 2011 (UTC)


 * I see you have a draft in your userspace now. Good luck.Tkotc (talk) 19:56, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Academy of the Holy Names (Silver Spring, Maryland)
I am writing about a high school in Silver Spring, Maryland which existed from 1933-1988. The school is now closed and the buildings have changed hands. I would like to document and consolidate information about the history of the school.

How does it look? Once a basic entry is published I hope to get more info added from other alumni.

MDRnews (talk) 22:26, 1 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I made some minor edits (contact info is not permitted, but as it is in the reference, those looking for it can find it).


 * The External Links section was intended to be a sample, assuming you have none, I removed the section.


 * An obvious unanswered question - why did the school close?


 * High schools are considered inherently notable, although I do not know if that guidance applies to closed high schools.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:56, 2 January 2011 (UTC)

Jan Sophus Jansen
This is a first attempt of an entry for me, and I'd like any constructive feedback which may help in getting the article published. Thanks in Advance

BrickyardSS (talk) 09:27, 2 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry, but this article has quite a number of problems. It isn't entirely clear whether that article is a biography about Jan Jansen, who happened to write a song, or an article about a song, which happened to be written by Jansen.


 * The biggest problem is Notability. It is important to demonstrate notability by showing that Jansen has been discussed in multiple, reliable independent sources. So far, the article has no such evidence.


 * Much of the article consist of a list of relatives. While immediate family can be mentioned in passing in a biography, it is not usual to list extended family unless multiple members of the family are themselves notable.


 * The structure of the article and the style of the references does not fit with the requirements in Manual of Style and footnotes. However, I urge you not to work on those issue until you can demonstrate notability, as it would be a shame to rewrite an article only to have it deleted.


 * Sorry I cannot be more positive, as you have obviously put work into this.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:36, 2 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabbo_%28Musician%29
Shoshannaj (talk) 13:14, 2 January 2011 (UTC)