Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 January 11

User:Gen2600/The Genocide2600 Group (hacking)
Hi there, this is my first attempt at an article. I feel like I have enough resources and the article is a factual and supportable statement of the groups history.

Gen2600 (talk) 01:56, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Article seems to have been deleted and user blocked. See user talk page.Tkotc (talk) 02:29, 12 January 2011 (UTC)
 * And yet, after a Google search to see what the guy had written about and to see if it had any connection with 2600: The Hacker Quarterly, I find it at The Genocide2600 Group. Mystery abounds. I'd be happy to review it if it is still a viable article and not the subject of some disagreement with an Administrator. Tkotc (talk) 03:00, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

Virtual Medical Centre
Hi

I have written a new article on a publicly listed company - at the top o the article it is says: ''This page is a new unreviewed article. This template should be removed once the page has been reviewed by someone other than its creator''

Therefore I am requesting for someone to please review it.

Thanks

Medicalcentre (talk) 02:18, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Done. Well written first article. --Physics is all gnomes (talk) 20:07, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

List of Dye Solar Cell (DSC) manufacturers
List of DSC manufacturers has been adapted and seems important to me, but a delete is possible. Please give feedback!

130.83.190.116 (talk) 10:18, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Bigben7041/Numerals(band)
I know I probably need more sources, but how many will it take to be ready to post live to wiki. Also, what else could I do to improve this page?

Bigben7041 (talk) 11:12, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * What any Wikipedia subject needs is "notability". In the case of a band, how do you show notability? Wikipedia has an informative page dealing with this: WP:BAND. You need to review the criteria listed there and see in what way the band qualifies as notable. That has to be shown in your article, and the various facts establishing notability should be verifiable (that is, supported by references to suitable authority). It doesn't appear that you have completed this process yet, but I hope this gives you an idea how to proceed.Tkotc (talk) 20:52, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

SWEP International
Hi,

This is facts about the company SWEP International. I'm working for the Maketing communication department at SWEP. Adding facts about SWEP to Wikipedia is one of my tasks.

Feel free to give me feedback.

Best regards Victoria Hamnäs

victoria.hamnas@swep.net SWEP International (talk) 14:56, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry but it looks likely that your article is going to be deleted. Wikipedia aims to be an encyclopedia not a directory for all companies, or a place for advertising your company. If you have a conflict of interest about a subject, editing articles on it is strongly discouraged: you'd need to read WP:COI and ensure that your editing was scrupulously neutral, and backed up by references to independant, reliable sources (see WP:V).


 * Regarding your article specifically, the main problem is that it doesn't include reliable, independant sources, and doesn't establish the company's notability--Physics is all gnomes (talk) 20:25, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Faster4tec/Millican
Hi people of Wiki! New to this, started with a new page for the travel bag company Millican. But have since discovered a lot of other local pages which need a bit of updating, duly done a quick round but more is required on some pages (Cockermouth, Maryport & Dearham town pages).

With the Millican page I have a lot more to add, they are a very active company with a lot of character, but I was very aware of writing too much and it being classed as an advert. Any guidance on how much I should write to make it a useful page? I gathered layout & content ideas from other UK textile manufacturers such as Howies, Finnistare, Plain Lazy and the US firm NAU.

Thanks!

Faster4tec (talk) 15:02, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Caitlinmcfeely/Children%27s Health Fund
I would like to push the page for Children's Health Fund live but first want to ensure all standards have been met. Please let me know if there is anything that needs to be updated/changed. Thank you.

cmcfee 16:36, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * There are a few layout problems. The section for references goes before (above) the external links section. Also, section headers start with capital letters but all other words in the headers are not capitalized (unless they are proper nouns). Guoguo12  --Talk--  03:23, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Never mind, I couldn't resist so I fixed it for you. Guoguo12  --Talk--  03:31, 14 January 2011 (UTC)

Edmund R. Schubert
New article for review/feedback

Thanks.

RGluesen22 (talk) 17:19, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I thought this was a pretty well done article so I had to scrounge to come up with some points. (a) Do you have your subject's birth date? Because this is an encyclopedia, it would be nice to have this if it is available. Similarly, can you find some educational background? (b) There is no "Works" section, but I expected one because your subject is an author. You cited a work to which he was an editor and contributor, and a couple of magazine articles in the business area, but your opening paragraph suggests his primary claim to fame is in the scifi/fantasy arena. Perhaps you could cite some representative stories or books in a works section. Nice article. Tkotc (talk) 02:20, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Sauvblanc/Wine Intelligence
Hi everyone, I've tried to create a new article (my first one!) about a company called Wine Intelligence -- they're cited a lot in the news and mentioned in other Wikipedia articles, seems like it would make sense to have at least a basic description of who they are and what they do. I pulled together things I found on their website and online, but this could probably be fleshed out a bit if anyone has time/interest to do some research. Any help or feedback is very much appreciated! Sauvblanc (talk) 17:26, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

The Genocide2600 Group
Hi there, this is my first article and is a factual and brief history of the above listed hacking group from the 80's. I believe I have enough credible sources to make this a suitable addition to wikipedia. Thank you so much for your time!

Gen2600 (talk) 19:06, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * The user has been blocked. The user talk page lives on. It's an interesting read. The article lives on, but I'm not sure what purpose is served by providing feedback to a blocked author.Tkotc (talk) 04:52, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

Culture Magazine (US)
I am providing a biography on the global CULTURE Medical Marijuana Lifestyle magazine. I received information from the main offices of the publication, and I researched related websites to use as reliable sources. I stayed neutral and factual, but I can't submit the biography because I keep getting a warning that I am not being neutral. Can I please receive some feedback on my article so I can fix what is holding me back from approval for submission? Thank you!

Culturemag (talk) 20:08, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I looked at your article and your user talk page to try to get a sense of what the problem is. The banner on your user talk page says that edits are discouraged where you lack a neutral point of view resulting from a conflict of interest, and that you may have a conflict of interest. In particular you may have a conflict of interest if you are affiliated with the subject of your article. Now why would they worry about that? Your article is about CULTURE Magazine, and your user name is -- "culturemag". So I don't think the concern is so much the actual tone, but about the concern that you are affiliated with the subject. You should make your affiliation or lack thereof clear on the article's talk page. and on your userpage. The banner doesn't say that the article would be deleted over this issue, but where there is in fact such a conflict of interest, you must be certain that "a neutral editor would agree that your edits are in the best interest of Wikipedia". See, WP:COI for further information and suggestions.Tkotc (talk) 20:33, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

Office of Economic Stabilization
William H. Davis as director of the Office of Economic Stabilization for 1944-45 should read William Hammatt Davis. The present entry when linked displays a different name for the initial H. I knew of this as his associate in the Law Firm of Davis, Hoxie and Faithfull from circa 1958-1964./ Joseph D. Lazar (email: joelazar1@verizon.net )

72.82.250.184 (talk) 20:51, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * You need to discuss this on the article's talk page.Tkotc (talk) 20:57, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Rocneasta/Enter your new article name here
the point of this article is to evolve and connect all the artists who have made visual art what it is today when regarding film, games and animated film. Their link is gnomon school of arts where some of them teach and where some of them were taught. wikipedia has many references to gnomon school of visual arts but not a single link to it, and by doing this article and by editing it and adding values to it, we can make a article that will link the cg community in general, all the way to modelers, artists who are not connected to gnomon, but are making history of computer graphics

cheers, roc Rocneasta (talk) 21:20, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * As it stands your article reads like a promotional brochure. There are problems with your formatting, punctuation, spelling, peacock terms (e.g. "all around awesome guy"), and stuff that just doesn't make sense (e.g. "Currently isn't Avatar, seen as fully computer generated movie a breakthrough."). There are no external references to any kind of authority; instead, it consists of opinion rendered in a stream of consciousness style. To complete your article, I suggest you re-read the suggestions and cautions in the article wizard.Tkotc (talk) 03:23, 12 January 2011 (UTC)




 * I want to further explain my self - Wikipedia has many references of artist that i mentioned and much more that i didn't or couldn't find that in some way shape or form are connected with Gnomon school of visual effects. No links to that nor explanations of that school can be found on Wikipedia. Any artist in need of information won't find it here then. In no shape of form i find this article finished, hence my request for feedback.Rocneasta (talk) 21:20, 11 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Can you link any of the people in your article to other articles in Wikipedia? You do this by "Wikilinks", using double brackets like this: Article title . I've gone into your draft and done this for you on the four faculty you named.


 * What people will also look for is links to articles outside Wikipedia. Can you Google the school (and the faculty you have mentioned)? I noticed that ArsTechnica did an article on the school with an author credit. This is the kind of thing you need. If you can find external references like that, you can use them as well as Wikilinks in your article. You do it by using "ref" tags. Here is how. Look carefully because the beginning and ending tags are slightly different..


 * I am not sure what the list is of visual artists. Are they from the school? Are they just examples of visual artists? If they are simply examples, I'm not sure they belong in your article, but if you keep them, they should be in a list or a table.


 * For an example of how someone else wrote an article about a proprietary specialty school, look at Le Cordon Bleu. In particular, look at the first paragraph where the school is introduced. You need to write a paragraph like that.


 * When editing your article, be careful about writing about your enthusiasm instead of the facts. Let the facts speak for themselves. I think the street address has to go. Interested prospective students can go to the external link. Even though you have an idea about what you want to say in your article, what you actually do say needs to be backed up by references, either to other articles in Wikipedia, or links to reliable secondary external sources.


 * If you need help with proofreading and copyediting, ask.Tkotc (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

Roger Corman's Cult Classics
I have a reliable source cited for this title and am wondering what else I have to do to make it look nice. I'd just like to know why the two headers on the page are still there. Thanks!

Retropolis1 (talk) 23:00, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * It looks alright to me so I've removed the headers. It could use some more independant sources, to establish notability. I don't know much about film articles, if you want more specific feedback on how to improve it, you could ask on the discussion page for WP:WikiProject Film. Regards, --Physics is all gnomes (talk) 20:56, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

User:ClammieR/Hellwars
This is so complicated, lol.. Help? What am I missing in that article? =x Also why is that site blacklisted? How to still add a link even tho it's blacklisted? =x

ClammieR (talk) 23:47, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Suggestion: look at another game Wikipedia page to see how things are done and to get some ideas. Kind of at random (I'm not a gamer and it's the only title I could think of) I found World of Warcraft: Cataclysm. One way to find out "how" things are done from a technical or markup standpoint is to hit the Edit tab on an article and see how it was done. (Be careful not to actually edit. Click "read" when you are done.)


 * I looked through your draft to see what link was "blacklisted" but couldn't find any link. You would have to come back with some specific information.


 * One thing that should jump right out if you compare articles: the WOW article has 25 references; yours has zero. You need to find some reliable secondary sources to reference. I see you've put a lot of work into the article so far. Just dig a little further and finish! Tkotc (talk) 04:13, 12 January 2011 (UTC)