Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 January 24

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Frank_Homme/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
Frank Homme (talk) 01:54, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Tkotc/Alexander Hewatt
Hewatt (1740-1824) is another Project Gutenberg author who was missing an article. Finding anything about a man who wrote all of two books so far back in time was rather surprising, but at least I now know the bare bones of who he was. He's still being quoted today for his observations of life in the colonies. Comments welcome. Tkotc (talk) 04:35, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Tkotc (talk) 04:35, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore_Food_Trail
Hi what is wrong with the page? why will it be deleted upon being reviewed? thanks! Singaporefoodtrail (talk) 06:29, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Hi -- I see your account has been blocked and the article deleted, but explanations for both actions can still be read on your user talk page which you can click on above. Your account was blocked because it sounds like the name of an organization. Your article was deleted because it sounded like an advertisement for that organization. You can read the links given in the explanation for the deletion that was posted on your user talk page. You should also see WP:COMPANY. Tkotc (talk) 20:34, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Scaleshombre/ParoleWatch
Can you give me feedback on my new article? It's about a website that was used to track violent felons coming up for parole. Thanks in advance.

Scaleshombre (talk) 06:59, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Boni
boni

94.236.132.127 (talk) 07:12, 24 January 2011 (UTC) ?><>>>>>.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:StuartLewis/SWORD
Hi, This is my first article, so any feedback is very welcome.

Specifically, SWORD in this case is an acronym. How should it best be saved, and where, to ensure that it fits in with the other SWORD acronyms and SWORD words?

Many thanks!

StuartLewis (talk) 07:18, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Danotis/I_Am_Empire
Just wanted to get this page confirmed. This is my first time creating a page so have at it. It is just a page for a band. There are a few things I would like to add but don't know how, I'll bring that up later though.

Thank you!

Danotis (talk) 07:27, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Hmm, I'm not sure this band is notable (which is a wiki requirement for having an article). You should review WP:BAND and see if they meet the criteria there. Especially considering the band just finally got signed, this may be a case of having to wait to start an article until they make it a little bigger. If you think they do meet the criteria at WP:BAND, you should add reliable sources documenting this. Calliopejen1 (talk) 20:00, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Vilabam/Kajona
Please review the article. If you agree with it, I would like to request the move to the public wiki. Thanks.

Vilabam (talk) 10:10, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Please see the "Review Completed" banner and comments someone posted on the article's page. Tkotc (talk) 20:36, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * The article was reworked. More independent sources have been added. Btw., it would be nice if anybody reads the article instead of only looking at the references. In my opinion, when describing the technical architecture of a software framework, the project-documentation is more reliable than external references. But correct me if I am wrong :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben W Brown/Ed Wright (composer) ‎
Hello, I've worked on this and think it is better, can anyone give me some advice on how to improve it, and on how categories work!

Ben

Ben W Brown 13:19, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Link to article: Ed Wright (Composer).


 * The article is nicely written but I think it doesn't properly document the notability of the subject. See WP:BAND. Run through the list of criteria. Find the ones that apply to Mr Wright. Find a reliable, independent source that shows the particular criterion has been met. Somewhere in the article you need to assert in essence that the criterion has been met, and then link a reference to the proof. A key element is the non-trivial nature of the coverage, not a mere mention. Tkotc (talk) 20:51, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Edward_P/Stanislaw_Przespolewski
Stanislaw Przespolewski's works are held in a number of museums in Scotland, Amsterdam and Warsaw. I would like to find references to these museums to add to his notability but don'n know how. Any help?

Edward P (talk) 14:04, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Hmm.... I'm not sure this artist is notable. I'm leaning towards no. The holdings at the Rijksmuseum are barely described at all by the museum. (Compare the listing for a Rembrandt work.) Who knows if these three paintings are on display, or if (more likely) they are sitting around in preservation somewhere. Google books only gets one hit. Nothing in google news archives. Google is not as good in other languages, but personally I would have expected more than that for a relatively recent artist. The one personal website is written by a family member, and his bio there is unexceptional. If this article were up for deletion, I'd probably vote to delete. This article makes a valiant effort at documenting his life, but I just am not convinced the notability is there... Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:57, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_East_University_(Lebanon)
Wikipedia said I need to have my article reviewed so that is what I'm doing here. Thank you so much in advance.

Ryrota (talk) 14:20, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * It looks good to me! To improve the article, you could add reliable sources that support more of the statements in the article. But this is definitely a good start! Congrats on your first article! Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:49, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neon_Highwire
Article written about UK based electronic music band. As many statements as possible backed up with sources from interviews or articles about the band found elsewhere. Would be great for someone else to review it to confirm that this is the case or to point out any amendments that should be made.

193.108.78.10 (talk) 15:20, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * So far I don't see how this band is notable. You should review the notability requirements at WP:BAND and add reliable, independent sources that confirm how the band meets these requirements. Otherwise, the article will likely end up being deleted. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:42, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_People
This is my first article submitted to Wikipedia. Would be great to have it reviewed and hopefully approved. If not any feedback would be very welcome! Thanks

Nwoolnough (talk) 15:36, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * The first link in your references led me to a bad page. The third link, which was to have been about Ted Smart getting an award ... I didn't see anything about that on the page that was linked.


 * Writing an article about a company that is neutral and doesn't look like an advertisement or press release isn't easy. Overall, that's how the article struck me. Just so you know how a party with no interest in the matter may see it.


 * The other issue is "notability" in the Wikipedia sense. I don't think you've established it. See WP:COMPANY. This is partly because the links you used don't seem to help verify the notability claim. You could make a big improvement in the article if you could find some more significant links. Tkotc (talk) 21:07, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Head fake 87/AN/AAR-47

 * User:Head fake 87/AN/AAR-47
 * Note: if you make this article public, please use the name "AN/AAR-47 Missile Approach Warning System"
 * summary: AN/AAR-47 is a missile approach warning system for slow aircraft. It is used by all branches of the US military and by many other countries. It is manufactured by ATK and uses infrared cameras for detection. Newer versions also have laser warning detectors and can detect tracer rounds and rocket propelled grenades.

Head fake 87 (talk) 16:57, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Looks good to me! Normally, you should just make the article public yourself once it's gotten developed enough. I'll go ahead and move this one to the mainspace for you, though. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:45, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1985_%22Aeroflot%22_Antonov_An-12_crash
Hello, I've created this article and would like someone to review. The events described in the article took place in 1985 and are not based on hearsay for I personaly knew most of those that perished in the incident. Please follow the links associated with names of the crews for both the AN-12 airplane and the Mi-8 helicopter because they will take to the memorial erected in their honor. The incident(s) are are also described in the book writen by the SA Special Forces Colonel that gave the order to shot down the transpot. The links to the sources and articles are included in the Refences and External links Thank you in advance

Andreb1 (talk) 17:58, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * The first, most important problem is that the article seems to be copied from this webpage. Based on your username, I am guessing that you are also the author of that page. However, you will need to follow the procedure at WP:IOWN to make sure that this article does not get deleted as a copyright violation. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:40, 27 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Hello, Calliopejen1. Thank you for your comments. Yes, I'm the author of the article. I will notify the Veterans' Union re the need of placing of the Copyright Disclaimers on the source page and will ask site's webmaster to send an e-mail to permissions-commons@wikimedia.org granting permission for the use of the article in order to comply with the required procedures. Thank you, Andre Babaian Andreb1 (talk) 21:58, 27 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Hello, Calliopejen1. The Copyright Disclaimers were posted on the source page. Also, I sent an e-mail to wikimedia.org granting permission for the use of the article. Thank you, Andre Babaian Andreb1 (talk) 22:08, 31 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Goyim.goyim/Enter_your_new_article_name_here&action=edit
Just curious if this has enough quality references. The members part is still unfinished as is the Discography...

Goyim.goyim (talk) 18:54, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I think this article could be moved to the "mainspace" as is. It is hard for me to evaluate the quality of the references, because I don't speak Chinese. Some of the references do not look that great (e.g. blogs that don't look terribly official). I think this could be improved. As it is, though, I think the article makes a good case for notability (award nominations) and has enough references to withstand any deletion attempts. I would change the wording a bit so it sounds less like an advertisement. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:24, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:REMAX_Northern_Illinois/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
I would like to have this article reviewed so it can be posted officially in Wikipedia. Thank you for your time and input. - Laura Ortoleva

REMAX Northern Illinois (talk) 22:36, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


 * I don't think this article will probably meet wikipedia's notability guidelines that need to be satisfied for inclusion. As it stands now, the article would probably be deleted. You need third-party references (e.g. newspaper articles) reporting on this Remax subsidiary/franchisee (not Remax generally). Maybe there would be reporting on sales figures, its founding, etc.? I'm not sure these references will exist, however. If not, it probably won't survive as a wikipedia article. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:21, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Wenonah99
This is my first article, so I'm just looking for a sanity check.

Is the article too short, or is it enough to get started? Is it neutral enough? Most of the sources were very positive (interviews and obituaries), tough to differentiate fact from self-reported lore? I have included some references, and I am certain that there are other canoe enthusiasts out there who can add detail and more references. Should I be trying to track down these types of people, or is it ok to just post this and left them edit as they find it?

Wenonah99 (talk) 23:13, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I think this is a nice start on an article. But the article should start differently. "Start your article with a concise lead section or introduction defining the topic at hand and mentioning the most important points." You can read more about this in Lead section. The beginning quote should go. If you need to support something you say in your article by the article underlying the quote, keep it as a reference; otherwise, you can use that link as an external link and guide people to it that way. "Jensen Design" should be an external link too. Glance briefly at WP:Layout for some guidelines on how articles are ideally laid out. The biography section is better; it reads like an encyclopedia article. Do you have his birth date somewhere as well? Is it possible to explain his revolutionary changes to technique and design rather than just assert that he made them? Tkotc (talk) 21:38, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paperless_Warehousing
Hi, I have written this page about Paperless Warehousing. It now needs reviewing and I would welcome your feedback and comments.

Mark Clinch (talk) 23:31, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * You need some third-party references - what have newspapers written about this company? What makes this company notable? Right now it reads too much like a press release and could be in danger of deletion in its present state. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:10, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ann_Heidenreich/Enter_your_new_article_name_here
The title is "The Smiling Sun". I have a picture of the Smiling Sun to upload.

Ann Heidenreich (talk) 00:08, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * You should include more third-party references showing that this logo is notable. Google books has a few things, but not much. (There are 20 more books generated by the search that don't have a preview available.) I also found this BBC article, which is very useful. I would incorporate more information from these and other sources, then move your article into "main space" - see So you made a userspace draft. (Right now, it is in "user space", meaning it's not on the same level as other articles.)


 * Once the article is moved, you can add the image. Uploading images is tricky (probably the hardest part about editing wikipedia). You should eventually use the tag non-free logo. You may want to ask at WP:MCQ if you get stuck adding the image. Calliopejen1 (talk) 19:18, 27 January 2011 (UTC)

Thanks Jen, I've made the edits you suggested, but now I keep getting an error message on the references. I have spent several hours reading directions and trying to fix whatever is not right, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Once I've understood what I have to do to get rid of the error message, I'll try moving it into the main space. Ann Heidenreich (talk) 17:45, 29 January 2011 (UTC)