Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 January 29

User:Smangal11/Sima Fisher
Hi, I'd like feedback on this article. I want to make it wiki ready and fix everything to be able to move it to the Mainspace any errors ect. Thank you Soraya!

Smangal11 (talk) 01:23, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Consider adding links, sections and use inline citations to display your references 'correctly'. Chevy  monte  carlo  06:50, 29 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Images would be nice to have as well. Jsayre64   (talk)  16:50, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * To be blunt... User:Smangal11/Sima Fisher probably doesn't meet Wikipedia's notability criteria for actors and probably doesn't meet Wikipedia's notability criteria for musicians. However, it is hard to tell due to a lack of reliable sources showing significant coverage.  As for the text of the article itself, it needs to be far less promotional in tone.  Phrases like "This quote best exemplifies the essence of Sima Fisher; a young, multi-talented artist who has gone from strength to strength in her career" and "... also built an impressive catalogue of work that includes some of the most memorable titles the world has seen" are simply unacceptable for an encyclopedia article.  Since you claim in your user page to be a "music and entertainment publicist", perhaps you shouldn't be creating articles about the people you represent due to your obvious conflict of interest.  Frankly, if the article was moved to the main article space in its current state, I would flag it for speedy deletion as unambiguous promotion.  Astronaut (talk) 17:11, 29 January 2011 (UTC)

The PRS Group, Inc.
Edit80 (talk) 04:12, 29 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I think there are some problems with the article's tone and neutrality. At the moment I think some parts of it sound like an advertisement. I also think the references need some work; consider the reliability of your existing references. Chevy  monte  carlo  06:54, 29 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Purenews/X Media Lab
Please could you advise on whether this article is ready to go live, or whether more creative industries information would be relevant first.

More details will be added later, but is this enough for the core?

Thank you!

Purenews (talk) 07:09, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * I don't think so, because there are many non-neutral claims, referenced to the primary source of xmedialab.com


 * The article says little about the company. Also, there are many claims with no reference at all.


 * I suspect that you have a conflict of interest, and therefore recommend you write about a different topic.

 Chzz  ► 15:35, 30 January 2011 (UTC)

Followup on feedback
Thanks for checking Chzz - this is my first article so i am using is as an experiment to learn how Wikipedia works from a creators point of view.


 * My user name is Purenews which i selected randomly after about 20 options I tried were already taken. I don't see how this is in any way linked to the 2 articles i have edited nor to the 1 page i have created. None of these are news companies, i am not affiliated with any news company, nor does it use the words in any of the pages edited or created. Please let me know why i should change this name or start a new account - it doesn't make sense??


 * As for the page I created - The challenge being faced is that many of the articles that can be referenced are in Chinese and not much help for English readers. As previously stated, this is simply an exercise for me to learn how the system works, so all feedback appreciated. I will remove any claims that I can't get reference for other than as a primary source, and will find more information about the company.


 * I thought that since the page is primarily about the previous events that that would be most relevant as will be putting more in there later about the high profile speakers and companies that have been represented at these international events.

thank you!

Purenews (talk) 02:28, 31 January 2011 (UTC)

Next Life %28band%29
Hi! Any feedback on my first page would be much appreciated. It concerns the progressive, electronic rock band from Norway called Next Life.


 * (---response to Tkotc) Thank you very much for the feedback. I was concerned about the same issue but the band has a large amount of published work in various forms as you mention, though they are largely in Norwegian. The two I source are valid English journalistic sources, but unfortunately those articles are no longer on the publisher's website. Therefore, we linked them to the text listed on the band's homepage. I am in the process of seeing if they can retrieve the originals.
 * That would be great. If you can, see if you can poke around and see how to preserve them for posterity. There's "some way" you can get sites archived. Maybe if you look up Link Rot or some similar issue you can find out how to do it. If you find the links but cant find out about that, post here and someone who knows may provide a tip!Tkotc (talk) 02:57, 31 January 2011 (UTC)

Annsunganlee (talk) 07:58, 29 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I looked at your references to assess how you have established notability; this is almost always an issue with proposed articles about musicians. An authority on the issue is WP:BAND, where it says, "Has been the subject of multiple, non-trivial, published works appearing in sources that are reliable and are independent from the musician or ensemble itself." Furthermore, "This criterion includes published works in all forms, such as newspaper articles, books, magazine articles, online versions of print media, and television documentaries." However, this does not include "Any reprints of press releases, other publications where the musician or ensemble talks about themselves." Your first two sources ("click image to enter the Next Life dungeon") seem to fall into that category. So I'm concerned that you haven't yet established notability. Tkotc (talk) 19:33, 29 January 2011 (UTC)

ParoleWatch
Can someone review my article, and remove the "new unreviewed article" template? Thanks. Scaleshombre (talk) 14:48, 29 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Done. Seems OK. See WP:DEVELOP.  Chzz  ► 15:37, 30 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks Chzz. I appreciate the feedback. Scaleshombre (talk)

Clan Irving
Would like some feedback on the article and how to clean it up to make it more presentable and easier on the eye to read etc. Thank you.

Rupert Irving (talk) 15:31, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Clan Irvine desperately needs references to reliable sources. All facts need to be verifiable. There should be a reference after each fact. Have a look at examples in WP:FA or WP:GA.


 * For help with reference formatting, see WP:REFB.

 Chzz  ► 15:38, 30 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Cilibinarii/Backyard Monsters
I would like to ask whether it is notable enough for addition to Wikipedia, and how my Wikipedia article writing style is (since I'm new to Wikipedia editing).

Cilibinarii (talk) 16:58, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * User:Cilibinarii/Backyard Monsters


 * For inclusion, an article needs 'significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject'.


 * Facebook isn't a reliable source; a stats listing doesn't help; the review in gamezebo.com is not enough to show notability.


 * See WP:VRS  Chzz  ► 15:40, 30 January 2011 (UTC)

Forevermore %28Whitesnake album%29
Request to have the Forevermore (Whitesnake album) page reviewed. Already made a previous request without results. Forevermore %28Whitesnake album%29

L1A1 FAL (talk) 19:06, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Pretty reasonable shape; I removed the tag. I did add a to "As of January 19, 2011, the new single is available for online streaming on the band's website." - I know, you could prob show it on the website itself, but it's a little bit promotional unless some newspaper or something has announced it. Maybe best just to remove it.


 * Sorry your previous request was ignored; this place is utterly snowed-under. You seem a good editor; so please please please could you have a look down this page, and maybe answer a couple? Cheers,  Chzz  ► 15:44, 30 January 2011 (UTC)

Ace Broadcasting Network
Check out the ACE Broadcasting Network page and let me know what you think. Also might want to check out the The Adam Carolla Show (podcast) since I made quite a few changes there as well. I think this is pretty well sourced (notability-wise), but let me know if you disagree. Udeezy (talk) 21:52, 29 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Ref 3 is just "Loveline. 12 May 2009." - I've no idea what that is, or where I can check it.


 * Please ensure all facts can be checked; for example, it says launched on February 23, 2009 but the source just says Carolla's first podcast, in February 2009 I think. So, we can't verify the date; and if any editor changes it, we have no way to know who is correct.


 * Same probably applies to lots of other facts in the article.


 * The para beginning, With the success of the Adam Carolla Podcast, which was later renamed the Adam Carolla Show, the network grew has no ref; it sounds like opinion or original research - it's pretty vague, and a bit promotional. We need to stick to verifiable factual claims.


 * In September 2009 Carolla began generating revenue for the show with spoken advertisements for his first sponsors.


 * Para. Also contributing to the funding of the network, Carolla performs live...


 * Hope that helps. (Mostly - make sure all facts have good 'reliable sources' that people can actually check)  Chzz  ► 15:54, 30 January 2011 (UTC)

User:Babstap7/Robert Koenig (sculptor)
I would appreciate some help on the article I've just started: Robert Koenig (sculptor) I have lots of references and external links but I don't know how to place them in the article correctly. I don't know how to format the article. There are very many references and links in Google - but how many do I put in? How do I add categories? All help is much appreciated.

Babstap7 (talk) 23:31, 29 January 2011 (UTC)
 * 1. To link another Wikipedia article to a word or phrase in yours, you must only use "Wikilinks". I did this for your Bilston reference so you can see how it is done.


 * 2. To reference a book or an article on the WWW in your article, you need to put the appropriate link and information between this pair of tags at the point in the article that a footnote should appear: . I did this for your Salisbury Cathedral reference so you can see how to do it. The best way to do this is to put the pair of tags in, and then insert a filled-out citation template. Again, you can see what it looks like from the example I left in your article. For references generally, look at Citing sources. To find the citation templates to copy, look at Citation templates. I used the one titled "Cite web".


 * 3. When you state a fact in your article that you can verify with a reference, that's where you put it.


 * 4. How many references: at least enough to verify the (implicit) assertion that your subject is "notable". How is this decided? See Notability (people) and in the case of this subject WP:ARTIST.


 * Hope this helps. Tkotc (talk) 00:37, 30 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Oops! I forgot: for formatting the article, you might benefit from WP:LAYOUT. For Categories, you could look at Portal:Contents/Categories, but if I were you I wouldn't spend time on the Categories issue until the article is finished. Tkotc (talk) 00:47, 30 January 2011 (UTC)