Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 July 2

Lees_College
It is tagged as a new unreviewed article and I was wanted it reviewed. Plus, I would like to have the box removed from the top of the page. Ha Ha! Thanks!

BCUpdater (talk) 01:12, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

Dzhetyasar_culture
Tagged as a new unreviewed article. (June 2011)

Barefact (talk) 05:20, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Rodwinoloresisimo/Albert Zambrano
Hi! I've just made my first article-contribution about a notable person I met recently (that person commissioned me to edit this Master's thesis). The article is a very short biography about his achievements. After studying the preliminary guides, I came up with something but I know it still requires much revisions/editing, especially the inclusion of pictures (personal, not borrowed elsewhere) and additional links/tags and formatting.

I do hope to hear from a helpful soul at Wikipedia. Thanks!

Rodwin Oloresisimo

Rodwinoloresisimo (talk) 12:40, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Red Deathy/Sand3
Statement at the top of the page from December 2009, highlighted the length of the article as being too long. Are the edits made an improvement on the current article? Summary of changes
 * Deletion of old material and those that have failed to attain citations
 * reorganising of History, opposition and electoral Performance as well as structure

U6j65 (talk) 13:55, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

Flying Fish (film)
I would appreciate it if someone could review the page for any general concerns. Thanks so much for your help.

Jeonju pa (talk) 15:05, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

Sanjeewa Pushpakumara
I would greatly appreciate it if someone could review this article and check for any general issues that need to be addressed.

Thanks for your help!

Jeonju pa (talk) 15:07, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Zombiekevlar/Thomas_Sciacca
I am just trying to make sure that i have done this right

Zombiekevlar (talk) 16:05, 2 July 2011 (UTC)
 * I edited a bit of it for you, however your draft needs wikilinking. To do this, you do this: Example - and if you still want the page to be linked in your article but the title hidden, do this: foo . The normal one will come up like this: Example and your hidden link will come up like this: Example and the hidden version will come up like this: foo. Your article also needs to be split into ==Sections== (yes, that's the way to do it) as well. I also recommend adding an infobox with a free, not copyrighted image of him if you can find one. Island Monkey talk the talk 16:36, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

Nigel_Felton
For my first edit, I've extended the stub article on the English cricketer Nigel Felton. I'd be grateful if someone could have a quick look and give some feedback. The diff link is here Thanks, RichG78 (talk) 20:13, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Ajpahl/Michael W. Allen.
Would appreciate any reviews and feedback, especially regarding citations and content tone. I have read all of the references on citations, but want to make sure I did it correctly as this is my first Wikipedia article. Also, as Michael's previous page was flagged as being too much like an advertisement, I hope I did a good job re-writing it to be non-commercial in tone.

Thanks!

Ajpahl (talk) 20:16, 2 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry, it still reads as a tribute. He can write his own page this way, but this is supposed to be a neutral encyclopedia, so using self-promoting language does not belong. The rules on words to avoid might be a guideline, e.g. do not say "leader" or "leading" (except quoted with an independent source). Do not "sell" each volume of his books for example. Just list them with publication dates and ISBN numbers etc. .Each series can be summarized with one sentence probably. Avoid self-serving quotes. Avoid dated statements that say he is "currently" something. Anyone can create a company named for them, so only need to mention this once. The lead section should probably be one or two sentences. Only use his first name the first time, then only last name. Wikilink only the first time. Each paragraph should have at least one citation, but combine citations to the same source with ref names. The photo needs to "float" using a "thumb" construction or in an infobox. Take a look at some other articles, e.g. Elizabeth J. Feinler or Daniel W. Dobberpuhl I worked on a little. The current article Michael W. Allen is already too long, you need to strip it down to only cited information. W Nowicki (talk) 22:43, 3 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Looking at the deletion discussion, it seems User:Maury Markowitz agreed to work on it. Looks like he has not had time yet. I left him a message.I might be able to look more at it over the next few days. W Nowicki (talk) 23:34, 3 July 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for your feedback. I will definitely make the changes you suggested. THANK YOU!!!Ajpahl (talk) 01:38, 6 July 2011 (UTC)Amy

Mottistone Manor
please add and help to correct, I'm not an expert but thought this subject should have a page as it is mentioned elsewhere. Thanks

DouglasMcQueiken (talk) 21:27, 2 July 2011 (UTC)

City_of_Toronto_Archives
New article describing of the Toronto Archives, its collection and building. My first article; would be interested in general feedback.

Greatwhitesharkey (talk) 21:41, 2 July 2011 (UTC)