Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 July 30

Gum metal
Hi, I just wrote a short article on the titanium alloy, "gum metal." I've included three journal references, although unfortunately the only one freely accessible online is the one from the internal Toyota research journal. Just wanted to see if anyone had any ideas for improvement before I post it outside of my userspace.

Zar2gar1 (talk) 04:58, 30 July 2011 (UTC)

[]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Tortured_Soul

Wiki article for the power metal band "A Tortured Soul".

Information gathered from their Facebook page as well as record label (pure steel records)

Intotheforest689 (talk) 06:34, 30 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Holzman-tweed/Sandbox/Grandmaster Caz
I'm repairing an article that had been deleted for lack of sources and notability. I added the former to refute the latter.

Holzman-Tweed (talk) 17:58, 30 July 2011 (UTC)
 * I cleaned up the refs a bit. Nice work.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:56, 30 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Rajam6/Muhammad Umar Memon
I am in the process of finishing this and would be grateful for some feedback.

rajam (talk) 18:30, 30 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Two comments:
 * I created proper cites for three of the four books listed. Unfortunately, I could not find the information of the fourth, leaving the list with inconsistent formatting.
 * Is it "Gazal" or "Ghazel"?
 * Other than that, looks fine.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:46, 30 July 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Lifeline4/Sylvia_Brooks&action=submit#cite_note-5
Lifeline4 (talk) 19:05, 30 July 2011 (UTC)

Commotio (Oxford-based choir)
General check that the article follows the rules, please. But also - how can I ensure that when someone searches just for 'Commotio', this article will appear in the list of possible pages?

OxfordSinger (talk) 23:30, 30 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Some formatting issues, but otherwise a good start. For example, title needs to be just in bold, not inline linked. A lead section would put the table of contents in the right place. Tables should have sources. Needs wikilinks in body. Citations need more than just a person's name. Not clear if that person is author of the source, subject, or just randomly selected. Each source should have a title, date, publisher, etc. whatever is known so that the content could be verified if the URL ever changes. I can work on it.


 * If someone did an explicit search, they would find it. The problem is there was a redirect to the organ music, ah, created when you moved the article. So just typing the name into the default box goes there. I will replace with a disambig page, since there are other articles too with this name. The disambiguators could probably be more concise in these cases, since there is no other music by another composer or other choir. W Nowicki (talk) 19:29, 3 August 2011 (UTC)

Perinet chameleon
Description of Perinet chameleon

Gavinevans (talk) 23:47, 30 July 2011 (UTC)