Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 July 7

Frank Bergon
I just need someone to review this Wikipedia page. The copyright and all permissions have been granted, just need to get it reviewed.

Thanks!

Aleksadive (talk) 03:59, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Thousand Pounds Action Company
This article needs someone to verify the sources which have been added. All links are valid and provide the information listed. This is my first article, and I'd appreciate someone verifying my work for accuracy and completion as our company continues to move forward in the entertainment industry, and this website provides a simple list of info on the team. I am the co-founder of the company, which now has viral success and much recognition from studios and producers. I WOULD LOVE IF SOMEONE WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE ONE OF THOSE SECTIONS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PAGE WHICH WOULD INCLUDE OUR TEAM LOGO (this can be found as the profile picture on our Facebook page). 75.85.112.174 (talk) 05:44, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:AllyRaven/PeeDee_Toys
Hi, new article, new contributor, feedback requested. Thanks. PS. I'll upload images once I've been auto-confirmed, which I hope will happen when I make edits related to your feedback.

AllyRaven (talk) 06:25, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:M.watterson2/McLaughlin and Harvey Ltd
Can someone please check this article and let me know if it is suitable to go live. If you think any changes need to be made can you please list them on the discussion page of the article.

I realise that there is little information, but the last article i did on McLaughlin and Harvey had alot of issues and i want to get this one right before I upload it. I realise there is not alot of information, but i have tagged the article as a 'Stub'. M.watterson2 (talk) 07:38, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:WeeJimmyFaeGorgie/Edinburgh_Minto_Hotel
Hi there. I am requesting feedback from other contributors about this article. Many thanks. WeeJimmyFaeGorgie (talk) 12:08, 7 July 2011 (UTC)
 * The article does not really establish how the hotel ought to be notable. Is it a historic building? Have important events take place? There is only one reference to a reliable source, an article from The Scotsman--the other links are either primary material or links to organizations' websites. In its current state it would not survive a deletion discussion, but given that the place is 125 years old, there may well be more to add from the newspaper archives. First, though, I would check to see the building's historical status (of course, 125 years in Scotland is much less than 125 years in the US...); second, I would tweak the wording to make it more neutral: "luxury boutique" is not very encyclopedic. Good luck, Drmies (talk) 15:23, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Gregtheross/LEAD_Technologies
Let me start out by saying that I do work for LEAD Technologies. I have carefully read the guidelines for COI and I am requesting feedback on this article in good faith. I believe it has been written from a NPOV and that I have followed the guideline "Do not write about these things unless you are certain that a neutral editor would agree that your edits improve Wikipedia."

As you can see for the history of LEAD_Technologies, there were previous attempts in 2008 and 2009 to add this page. These were done under different management.

Please review my editing history and judge for yourself. I admit to the mistake of misinterpreting the definition of a "minor edit" which the user J.M. corrected me on. If you review those edits you will see that they were written with neutrality and an effort to improve upon lists of companies that provide software for specific technologies such as JPEG 2000, JPEG XR, etc. Since then I have made other edits and contributions to discussions within the broad field computer science (including other companies) and plan to do so in the future as a regular contributor.

That being said, here is why I believe this article will help improve Wikipedia:


 * There are several pages which mention LEAD Technologies or LEADTOOLS (e.g. JPIP, List_of_optical_character_recognition_software, etc.). In the case of LEAD Technologies, this article will provide an actual landing page rather than "This page does not exist".  For LEADTOOLS, see below.  Other Wikipedia contributors have added our company and/or product into those lists, so I want to provide valid information for those links.


 * There is a redirect for LEADTOOLS pointing to GrapeCity, which is not technically correct. They are a reseller and have localized LEAD's product for their market.  Having a redirect point to them makes it look like they are the developers.  This page will correct and clarify that redirect.


 * The company is notable for several reasons including the US patent held by co-Founder Mr. Daher, as well as the fact that it is a 20+ year old software development, was one of the first companies to provide digital imaging technologies in the form of a toolkit that programmers and developers could us, and was the first company to provide a software only solution for JPEG on the Microsoft platform (which at the time was MS-DOS).

I welcome your input, accountability and help in assuring the page is written with neutrality.

Thanks, Gregtheross (talk) 12:54, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Yes, this attempt is generally neutral in tone, which is what we need to keep it around. A style nit, is that we avoid the honorrific "Mr." and just use last names after the first use of full name. Also would prefer prose instead of a "timeline" of bullets which reads like it was cut-n-pasted from a company web site or brochure. Major issue is notability. Was the company ever mentioned by any independent source? For example, was any product reviewed by trade press? If not, that might make one wonder if it is more than the two to four people mentioned. I would also drop the founders from the infobox. Presumable this is not the Rich Little or Arthur Evans who have articles, so unless they are notable in the Wikipedia sense (have multilple independent sources) probably not needed in the infobox. The patent seems assigned to Mohammad A. Daher not the company (perhaps the full legal name should be used, at least as inventor on the patent). W Nowicki (talk) 17:49, 9 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the feedback! I have incorporated your suggestions (still working on rewriting the timeline to prose) and added some references. I have some questions regarding Awards and/or Reception sections and what's the best Wikipedia practice.  Is there a specific reason to use one or the other?  From what I've found on other pages, the pattern seems to be the style where reception uses prose and awards uses lists.  I tried using the following pages as models since they are companies/products within a similar industry sector as LEAD: ABBYY_FineReader & I.R.I.S._Group.  Also, if the company wins the same award multiple years, should a reference be cited each time?  I could see it both ways in that you want to make sure the claim is verifiable but also not make an obnoxiously long list of citation marks after a statement.Gregtheross (talk) 20:22, 18 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Sure, generally the more citations you can add (especially to independent sources) the less likely the article will be deleted. I would just use prose again, say it won the blah award in 2006, 2007, 2008, etc. Many issues are personal style, and also if another article gets away with poor scholarship that does not excuse it in another article (no precedent law in Wikipedia). What I would say is that you do not need (and should not use) a section head for each paragraph. I would start with one section labeled, say, "History" until the article gets longer than several paragraphs or so. (Only the first word of a heading uses capital letters anyway). Good work. W Nowicki (talk) 20:55, 18 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Mcrugger9/West Chester Jokers Rugby
This article is about a newer Philadelphia area Men's Rugby Football Club and provides information on the team, their history and will be adding more information as the team establishes itself more in the union.

Mcrugger9 (talk) 13:34, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Rock the Vote: Democracy Class
Looking for feedback and review, hope to finalize the page in the very near future.

Rtvintern123 (talk) 14:22, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Kassidypaine7/Heritage_Iron_Magazine
Looking for feedback!

Kassidy Paine (talk) 14:45, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Conniebalcom
Please take a look at this article. It's my first contribution. I'll add an image after I get some feedback. Thanks.

Conniebalcom (talk) 16:00, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Needs to marked up as it's just two blobs of text. See how to markup your content as well as the manual of style for general editing guidelines. AntiCommons (talk) 21:16, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Deauxmae
Hello. I am new at this and have made an error. I wanted to post the page as "Deauxma," but was not allowed to, so I went with an alternate spelling she has used in the past. She is an AVN award-nominated performer and is therefore notable. Any advice/help that can provided to get this page corrected would be greatly apprediated. Thank you.

TheOneQ (talk) 16:01, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Runa LLC
I created this page (my article) and would like feedback. I believe my sources are all properly cited; however, I appreciate any feedback.

I $ore9515 (talk) 16:08, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Universal Lighting Technologies, Inc.
I haven't had this article reviewed yet. Could someone please give me any feedback you have on how to make this article better, etc so that it may be approved? Thanks!

Corwil (talk) 16:18, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Looks pretty good, but needs work. I would suggest changing the header names from "Past History" to just "History" and next section to "Present", "Current work" or something similar. In the past history I've noticed you wanted to create sub-headings. To do so, just add another = on each side. Biggest thing I would suggest is more wikilinks, i.e. links to other wiki pages. The introduction could use some work. For example "Universal Lighting Technologies is a ballast manufacturing company based in Nashville, Tennessee ..." Avoid using "They design" and try "The company designs and manufactures ... as well as produces ..." Of course, more references wouldn't hurt. AntiCommons (talk) 20:40, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:IanBruceMontgomery/St._Edmund%27s_Academy
This is my first article. It is about a school in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I have cited the two most authoritative and objective sources -- the original catalogue of the school for history and the current website for current info. I have not done an exhaustive treatment of the subject -- yet -- but am simply starting.

Question: Is there some sort of 'school' template? How do I plug it into "stubs" of Episcopal Church/Independent Schools, etc.?

IanBruceMontgomery (talk) 16:30, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Yes there is a Template in the Wikipedia sense: Infobox school But more likely you might be asking if there are guidelines or examples of good school articles. There is a WikiProject Schools that has some information that might be relevant. Especially please read WikiProject Schools/Article guidelines. To get examples of articles that have been reviewed and rated highly, see this list for example. Your last question might be regarding categories, which are not a concern until you publish the article in main space (and there are many editors who can help at that point). For example at that time the line would be added at the end.


 * But before it is published, it needs some work. Generally each paragraph should have at least one citation. If the material is sourced to the subject's web site, that should be indicated. Better would be a source independent of the subject. For example, has it ever been in a newspaper or magazine, or book? Any articles on any alumni or faculty or staff? A quick search shows an Edmund Webster Mudge who might have been associated and might have some historical coverage, as well as Christian Borle. It also needs work on wording and formatting. Generally the promotional tone of the web site or brochures needs to be paraphrased in a neutral encyclopedic language. This means dropping self-sourced philosophy and mission statements prayers, etc. In fact the Alma mater and prayers are probably copyrighted, so cannot be included verbatim for legal reasons. On the other hand, facts about the institution would be good if they are published and can be verified. For example, how many students, how many staff, etc. If you can take and upload one of your own photos that would enhance the article, but not required. Also see St Edmund's School (disambiguation) there are a few others with similar names.W Nowicki (talk) 17:27, 9 July 2011 (UTC)

Talk to Me (Kiss song)
Could you just review the song, remove the unreviewed template and tell me what's wrong with the page. That's all. Thanks.

Stanley 17:23, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Looks just like any other web page for some song by a rock n roll band. No different to thousands of other articles about songs by famous rock bands. Seems fine to me? WeeJimmyFaeGorgie (talk) 20:23, 8 July 2011 (UTC)

Hide Your Heart (song)
I don't have any specific questions, I just want someone to remove the unreviewed template because I can't. Zrinschchuck

Stanley 17:27, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Section titled Kiss version is not appropriate. Consider renaming to "Covers" or combing with the "Other versions" section. The second infobox is also not appropriate as the focus of the article should be the original song. Overall, this article is too revolved around Kiss. AntiCommons (talk) 23:03, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Djhuff:HVLS Fans
This is a new article I wrote about HVLS Fans, which is a relatively new technology. This is my first article so I'd like feedback before it goes live. I have used reliable sources.

HVLS (high volume low speed) fans are used in commercial and industrial settings. First developed to cool dairy cattle, these fans range in diameter from 8' to 24' and have six to ten blades. These fans are incredibly energy efficient and have been proven to lower energy costs associated with heating and cooling buildings.

Djhuff (talk) 18:05, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:K2TheO/Diversified_Global_Holdings_Group,_Inc.
What other company information can I add to this article without making it "not neutral"?

K2TheO (talk) 18:09, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * In what exchange is the stock traded? WeeJimmyFaeGorgie (talk) 20:24, 8 July 2011 (UTC)

Tomorrow (Kiss song)
I need someone to view the article, remove the tag and tell me the problems with the song. Zrinschchuck

Stanley 18:16, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Runa LLC
I have created this article (my first) and would appreciate the feedback/improvements of the Wikipedia community.

I $ore9515 (talk) 18:57, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Ssedova/Dartfish
I would like general feedback on the article, especially where it may sound like an advertisement.

Ssedova (talk) 20:35, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

You Wanted the Best
Please review the article and remove the template.

Stanley 21:12, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Songs have limited acceptance as articles (Song notability guidelines). I have marked the article for deletion. However, if you disagree with this, you may contest it. AntiCommons (talk) 21:35, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

Mark_A._Murphy
Grimesgw (talk) 21:25, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

William.legacy:Fulbright Belgium How do I 'publish' this article?
How do I publish this?

William.legacy (talk) 08:46, 8 July 2011 (UTC)