Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 June 1

Phi Alpha Mu
I wanted to make sure that my sourse were credible so that I could put up a page. We have tried before and it's been deleted, so I want to make sure we do everything right this time.

Adk004 (talk) 01:26, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

Luminescent solar concentrators
Hi, this page has already been peer reviewed, I just would like remove the "unreviewed article" tag. Kindly let me know what I have to do. Thank you very much

Levita.lev (talk) 07:58, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Philip.wdme/KK_Bose
Hi everyone, This is my first Wikipedia article, so any feedback and tips would be helpful. Thanks!

Philip.wdme (talk) 08:22, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

Tim Black
Would be happy to receive feedback on this article. Thanks,

SamButlerMSI (talk) 10:28, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

Twice a Man
Would appreciate a review of this article, and maybe a bit of help in its development if possible. Some assistance/guidance on references and citations would be particularly appreciated as I've found it difficult to discover official/reliable sources for the information beyond what is already listed on the group's website, as well as information listed on the Swedish language Wikipedia translated across which I'm not 100% on, since few citations appear there either. Cheers.

Psychic Potato (talk) 10:51, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Supersoulrocket/Carbon Beauty
I'm not sure how clear my summary of the album is, and I'm not really sure what to add to it to make it less stub-like. If you would help this confused newbie she would be very grateful. Thanks~

Supersoulrocket (talk) 11:31, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

MobiFlex App Studio
This is my first time adding an article and would request to have my article reviewed. I have 8 references on my topic and feel everything is in place to have this article fully reviewed and approved. Thanks in advance!

Fm8756 (talk) 12:50, 1 June 2011 (UTC)


 * marginal. There does seem one or two mentions in trade publications, but generally reads like an advertisement, which might get it deleted. Drop the "features" section to begin with since it has no references. Give a little context in the lead about what it is for a non-technical reader. Add wikiliks to relevant technologies in the body. The google link did not work so fix or remove. Rephrase the body in a neutral tone, not as a promotion. Needs categories and a project. W Nowicki (talk) 22:22, 7 June 2011 (UTC)

NGMN
The link on the relevant disambiguation page was empty. I have attended NGMN´s industry conferences in the past ant they have a high profile in the industry, so should be relevant to be added. Since I am a new user, feedback would be welcome if general requirements are met or improvements needed Thanks a lot.

Willi-heinrich (talk) 13:04, 1 June 2011 (UTC)
 * You did not say where you put it, but I did find: User:Willi-heinrich/NGMN. Generaly we use the spelled-out name for article titles, so eventually it should become Next Generation Mobile Networks and the acronym remains a disambig page. Some work to do first, but it does seem notable (although searches tend to bring up the generic term, sigh). See if you can get some press coverage, for example. No need to duplicate links in "external" section if they are already cited as sources. Your draft needs an introduction section giving context (in the form of a sentence - see some existing articles for examples). And did the group do anything between 2008 and 2011? W Nowicki (talk) 00:12, 2 June 2011 (UTC)

Willi-heinrich:

Thanks a lot, that is very useful feedback. I will take out some of the external links if quoted already, and add some of the key activities of the last 3 years. I was not sure if that should be added, since it can be looked up from their own website - but probably worth putting a few key bullets as a summary.

As for the acronym - I understand the point, but when I look at many other similar associations, they are also quoted with their abbreviations (GSMA, UMTS Forum, etc.). Therefore I tend to use the acronym here as well. I would rather add to the disambiguation page that NGMN is also occasionally used as an abbreviation for next generation mobile networks in a general sense (though the use tends to decrease these days, as the technologies have become clear now, most people use 4G or LTE instead) Willi-heinrich (talk) 10:32, 3 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bilkent_Erzurum
This article is about my school. it is pretty new so only reliable source is my schools official website which I stated in my resources.

Aysinpir (talk) 13:31, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_C._West
Hi I want to make sure my article is actually live, does it just need reviewing by someone else? It doesn't seem to be properly searchable. thanks Emma

Rainbow Emma (talk) 15:10, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Ser
I would like to have this article reviewed. This article is about Edmund Ser, a Malaysian Fashion Designer whom have contributed to Malaysia since the 80s. It is about his life and creations.

Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Ser Asiareports (talk) 15:34, 1 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Reviewed - It needs to be toned down for neutral point of view, but I think it is DYK worthy. I left a message for you on your talk page.--v/r - TP 16:03, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Aysinpir/Bilkent_Erzurum
Can somebody show me the things I should change. Thank you. By the way mentioned school is new and I have one and only source which is schools website.

Aysinpir (talk) 15:48, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

Panyaden School, Bilingual School In Chiang Mai
Please review and give me feedback on the article. Thanks you!

RealspiritLi2 (talk) 16:19, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Aysinpir/Bilkent Erzurum
I seriously need a feedback on my article! This is the first time and it is deleted once. What should I change? Please check. Thank you.

Aysinpir (talk) 17:57, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panyaden_School,_Bilingual_School_In_Chiang_Mai
Please review and give me feedback on the article. Thank you!

RealspiritLi2 (talk) 18:19, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

Shifman Mattress Company
This is an article about Shifman Mattress Company in Newark, NJ. The article gives a brief history and overview of the company's products.

Jenniferlritz (talk) 18:30, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_McClanahan
Would love to have some feedback on this article. Many thanks.

208.180.157.30 (talk) 19:01, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Aysinpir/Bilkent Erzurum
Please REVIEW I worked a lot for this article and I need a feedback to save it on wikipedia. I am new I need a feedback. Aysinpir (talk) 19:22, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Aysinpir/Bilkent Erzurum
I really need a feedback. Can somebody help me?

Aysinpir (talk) 19:47, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

Ophelia S. Lewis
My article is actually a stub about a noteable Liberian writer. In an effort to provide more online information about Liberian writers, I created this stub. I would greatly appreciate any assistance in removing the "unreviewed article" tag. Thank you in advance for your help.

BellaBeau (talk) 19:48, 1 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Congratulations, it looks like she has enough notability. We made a few stylistic edits. I would suggest filling in more details of the citations using the mechanism (see cite news for example), and maybe details of her education, early life (if relevant to work), more reviews, etc. W Nowicki (talk) 23:44, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Aysinpir/Bilkent_Erzurum
I have made some necessary changes on my draf can somebody please eveluate it and give me feedback please.

Aysinpir (talk) 20:59, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Lou.garay/Squeaky Wheel Media
Looking to publish page. I've added tons of notable sources now after initial feedback pointed to them lacking. Please help me out and let me know what else if anything I need to do to get this page published. Thank you so much in advance.

Lou.garay (talk) 21:31, 1 June 2011 (UTC)


 * The references generally need to go immediately following the sentence that has the fact in it to be verified, not all at the end. Please put after the punctuation (e.g. period) and combine them to the same site. The style is a bit too chatty and promotional (also redundant). This is an encyclopedia not a sales guide, so "partnered up" "pulled in" "live like a local" do not belong. No need to mention the founders twice, for example. Sources from company press releases or blogs do not count for notability (but might be helpful to verify details). Make it clear who each publisher or author is of each source, so we can guess how reliable it is (in the wikipedia sense). If the awards were published in something more than a blog that might qualify. Also you need to wikilink relevant terms, such as New York City at least, and the area of the company's business. W Nowicki (talk) 00:01, 2 June 2011 (UTC)

Occupational Health and Safety Act NSW 2000
Hi, this is a new article regarding Occupational Health and Safety legislation in NSW. Many thanks.

FGKMJB (talk) 22:41, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiro_%28Cat%29
Hi, would you look this article over and make sure that I have done a good job establishing its noteworthiness? If it looks ok, I would appreciate if you would mark it as reviewed. Thank you!

Speace (talk) 23:43, 1 June 2011 (UTC)