Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 June 24

User:Jamesallen2/Polyneon_(artist)
I need your help! Can someone review this article so it will not be "speedy deleted"? Please let me know if everything is fine so the article can be placed live on Wikipedia! Thank you so much!

Jamesallen2 (talk) 10:12, 24 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Article reviewed and moved to mainspace.  Cind. amuse  06:43, 13 July 2011 (UTC)

User:Booth088/River_Alexander
Booth088 (talk) 04:07, 24 June 2011 (UTC)
 * The article as it stands right now is extremely lacking. The sources in the article mention River Aguirre, but they do not discuss him.  Are there any sources that provide significant coverage of him?  Unless there is some reliable sources out there that I have ot been able to find, I do not believe the article will survive.  GB fan (talk) 14:09, 28 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Maringaense/2011 MD
I need help with using - such as "[1], [2]" etc. showing withing the article.

Thanks a lot

User:Maringaense
 * Yes, the missing ref tag broke the formatting on this page too for a while. It seems this is a hot enough topic that a few people have already chipped in and fixed some of the issues. The only nit I see is three different date formats. Since it is using EDT which I would guess as Eastern Daylight time in the US, I would use Month day, year format, although scientific articles also use day Month year. Also the citations should include a hint as to what kind of work it is that is being cited. Take a look in a few minutes after I do a quick edit. W Nowicki (talk) 22:28, 26 June 2011 (UTC)

Alfred R Kelman Bio of American Documentary Director and TV Film Producer
User:76.170.65.89

Simran PAL BHANDARI
Allright i got it lets see wil add more links and work relate to Simran PAL Bhandari User:Samm.pal
 * Article deleted at Articles for deletion/Simran Pal Bhandari  Cind. amuse  06:47, 13 July 2011 (UTC)

User:RothLawFirm/Roth Law Firm
Hello, I wanted to see if I correctly sited article. I appreciate any and all help.
 * See below

User:RothLawFirm/Roth Law Firm
Hello. I would love any and all suggestions regarding this article. Particularly, I hope I have sourced all the information correctly, and if I have not, I will try to correct immediately. Thanks in advance.

User:RothLawFirm


 * Generally much work to do. First of all, user names are supposed to correspond to a person, not a topic of Wikipedia. Yours suggests an obvious conflict of interest. Lawyers might be familiar with the concept but there are specific wikipedia rules. Doing a cut-n-paste of resumes will not work, even if you scatter many urls into it. Especially if it is a cut-n-paste of a web site, which is a copyright violation. Sources need to be independent to show notability. So keep citations of your own firm's web site to a minimum. No need to list every case and seminar, just ones picked up by outside press perhaps. Many other style problems too. I would suggest reading some other articles to get an idea of what is not considered advertising. For example, we do not use "Mr." nor capitalize sections. Sidley Austin and Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft are not ideal but might give you an idea. W Nowicki (talk) 23:10, 26 June 2011 (UTC)

Microsoft Broadband Networking
I wrote an article about Microsoft's routers that were sold between 2002 and 2004. It's not long, but I marked it with a stub template and linked the article to the Microsoft template as a released hardware product.
 * No need to do it twice, see below.

Microsoft Broadband Networking
I wrote an article about Microsoft's routers that were sold between 2002 and 2004. It's not long, but I marked it with a stub template and linked the article to the Microsoft template as a released hardware product.

User:Cfj2222


 * Adding a stub tag does not get you out of needing to prove the topic is notable. It is an odd title, since they seem to really have been Microsoft home networking products, but evidently that "Broadband" term was in fact used. A search turns up more sources, so this probably can stick. Just needs work to fill it out. W Nowicki (talk) 21:21, 27 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Garik.iosilevsky/The Center for the Development of Recycling
Hello,

I want to get this page to be live, but I want to make sure that it is up to standards with all of the wikipedia rules and regulations. Please give me feedback on how I can improve this page before I make it live.

Thanks, Garik

User:Garik.iosilevsky


 * I have done minor fixes on the article. Punctuation should always be after the references. Don't include contact numbers or emails, and avoid any promotional undertones if possible (i.e. stay completely neutral and objective). Article still vaguely reads like a brochure, if you can, please fix that. And lastly and most importantly you need more third party reliable sources to prove notability. Notability is the single most important factor when deciding if Wikipedia should have an article on a subject or not. Currently your article uses mainly primary sources (sources published by the subject itself or closely related organizations), and primary sources can not establish notability. A good deal of the references used must be independent from the subject.--  Obsidi ♠ nSoul  04:13, 28 June 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kevincol/Home_Theater_Forum
Looking for feedback on the article.

User:Kevincol


 * It is a nice story, but not for Wikipedia. This is supposed to be an encyclopedia, not a place to promote your site and career. Anything written in the first person for example will not survive. Notability (organizations and companies) gives guidelines, which you might want to read before going further. You need to cite independent sources using ciations to show that the entity is discussed outside of its own users and staff. Personal memories are not considered an independent source, because they are hard for others to verify. So keep in your user area until someone outside (e.g. a journalist) writes something about the site. Then paraphrase it in neutral encyclopedic tone. Thanks. W Nowicki (talk) 18:59, 27 June 2011 (UTC)

Hasb-e-HAAL
User:58.27.152.136
 * Looks good. Wikified, added wikiprojects and some other minor fixes. Cheers.--  Obsidi ♠ nSoul  04:02, 28 June 2011 (UTC)

Mekhis Qandakeba
This request was originally misplaced here  Chzz  ► 12:44, 8 August 2011 (UTC)

I would like to get some feedback for this article. They are well-known ex-band between Georgian rock society. Thanks in advance.--George Talk 08:00, 24 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Hey, the article's introductory paragraph may be considered too long, according to wikipedia layout guidelines. You may want to consider shortening it.Lapatronne (talk) 21:02, 28 June 2011 (UTC)
 * I've changed it according to your response. Please, kindly look at it again and told me if something wrong. thanks. --George Talk06:14, 29 June 2011 (UTC)
 * 1. Generic articles about years (like 1992, etc.) generally aren't linked to. And 2. The whole article could probably use a good copyedit. Bobnorwal (talk) 05:05, 1 July 2011 (UTC)
 * 1. I've removed links on generic articles about years. 2. You see, English is not my native language, so if there is no more notes, should I ask help here for that?--George Talk 09:30, 1 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Yes, it would be a good idea to submit it there and let them tidy it up a bit. And you keep that requests page in mind, any time you need help of this sort. Bobnorwal (talk) 14:02, 1 July 2011 (UTC)

Many thanks Bobnorwal and Lapatronne. Only one question: When everything is done, who should remove that template New unreviewed article from top of the article?--George Talk 15:36, 1 July 2011 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, I have some concerns. Although there is a section called "Sources", it is really functioning as an External Links section. Articles need references, and it is not sufficient to simply list the references at the end. Instead, whenever a particular fact is included in the article, there should be a footnote to the reference supporting the facts. If you read Referencing for beginners, you will see how to do references properly.


 * Unfortunately, the bad new continues. Facebook is not considered a reliable Source. It may be acceptable to use in this circumstance, but it won't qualify as a reliable Source. I don't know anything about ucnauri.com or last.fm, so I don't know whether they qualify. (The place to check is Reliable sources/Noticeboard)


 * Finally, YouTube is rarely an acceptable reference; in most cases, there are copyright issues, even when the clip may be produced by the subject themselves. In rare cases, explicit licensing is provided so that a YouTube clip can be used, but I don't see that licensing in this case.


 * Sorry, I found the article interesting, so it would be nice if it could survive.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:18, 4 July 2011 (UTC)
 * First of all, thanks for interest. Despite what I'm not active in English wikipedia, I'm not beginner and know such rules.
 * I will create section "External Links" and place there Facebook pages with Youtube links, but ucnauri.com and last.fm (Btw, I'm surprised, you dont know anything about this one) are only sources that can I provide. I'll rename section "Sources" to "References", if requested. This band wasn't so popular abroad, to make Steve Huey write down review about them, but they have high popularity in Georgia even now. Unfortunately, Georgian Studios don't have own web sites with bands archives on them, to provide as sources. So I thought, it would be better this way, than something like that: 1.2.3.4.5.6.ucnauri.com.
 * I think, Youtube links as external links are not copyright violation. Two of three sources given Here are youtube videos, the third is from google videos. --George Talk 18:17, 5 July 2011 (UTC)
 * P.S. There was also site called rest.ge with information about this band, but it's not functioning today.--George Talk 05:42, 6 July 2011 (UTC)