Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 June 6

Dan Cain, Mentalist
IllusionistDanC (talk) 02:10, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Draykyle/Orderzone.com
I posted this article but it was deleted on the grounds that it was not significantly notable (A7). I have revised the article and added information. I will also post a link to this version the contested deletion page.

Draykyle (talk) 03:02, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
 * You have done a better job at showing notability, but I am not sure it is enough for our standards. Adding some more reliable, third-party sources that deal with the subject in-depth would be a good idea. Other small issues:
 * Read our manual of style. There are many things that need work, such as the footnotes currently being in front of the period.
 * Wikify some more. A wall of black text may not help the reader. Key words such as Austin and Texas should be wikilinked.
 * Add some more categories to make your article easier to find.
 * Your references are bare URLs, which are discouraged as it could lead to linkrot. Try using the web citation template.
 * I hope this helps. Cheers! Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:52, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Pathpoint
Eric Hahn (talk) 04:42, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
 * You may want to read about what Wikipedia is not. The current article reads like an advertisement, including a mission statement and similar things. To show notability, you should use reliable, third-party sources. To learn more about showing notability, read the General Notability Guidelines. I've tagged the major issues on the article page; feel free to come back here for another opinion after you have dealt with those. Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:45, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Puppet28/Kanomchan
Can you give me some feedback on this article? Thank you.

Puppet28 (talk) 05:58, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Feel free to write about Kanomchan. However, Wikipedia is not a cookbook. To write about Kanomchan, you will need to write about it in an encyclopedic manner, in accordance with Wikipedia's manual of style, and use reliable, third-party sources to establish notability. You will need a massive rewrite. Perhaps you could take a look at our article on Tom yum to understand the writing style; if you want to aim really high, take a look at Hamburger or Durian, which have better referencing. Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:40, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Mtstaffa/GALA_Group
This is my first ever article. I have read through the rules but I am curious if this article meets the requirements for a Wiki article. I tried to have outside sources. I am a 3rd party person to this article and tried to have it balanced. What do you think? How can I approve it? Thanks for your advice. (sorry about posting twice!)

Mtstaffa (talk) 09:11, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
 * It seems you have done a pretty good job of establishing notability and using reliable sources. However, there is still some clean-up to take care of before it goes live. Most of this stuff is covered in our Manual of Style.
 * External links go at the bottom of the page in a separate section, not in text.
 * You should add more footnotes to make the article easier to verify.
 * You need a proofread; some of the sentences are ungrammatical and confusing. You could request help at the Copyeditors Guild.
 * Your references are bare URLs. You should use the Web citation template to help prevent linkrot.
 * You should add some categories to make your article easier to find.
 * Hope this helps. Crisco 1492 09:33, 6 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks Crisco 1492!! I have worked on the Link rot and will address your other issues you found in the next week.  Much appreciated! Mtstaffa (talk) 02:24, 7 June 2011 (UTC)

Central European Journal of Computer Science
This is my first article. I am associate editor to the Central European Journal of Computer Science and i need to make wiki entry for the journal. I need feedback for the page, but also help for uploading an image.

Senka2011 (talk) 09:17, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Kevin Cossom (singer/songwriter)
Seeking feedback/review for accuracy so that the "This page is a new unreviewed article." template can be removed.

Thank you in advance!

HMurchison (talk) 11:37, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Amor Group - New article feedback request
Hello.. This is only the second or third article I've ever fully written, and a lot has changed since I last did anything (a few years ago). Any suggestions on how best to structure this, or anything else I've messed up on that I can sort out?

Thanks

Stephenmcleod (talk) 12:02, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Ncprowler/Sonographic_Murphy_sign
This is a new article on a point of medical diagnosis, which will be of interest to diagnostic medical sonographers and some patients. I came to Wikipedia looking for a quick reference that would help settle a disgreement between some of the sonographers who work for me, and did not find one. This is my first new article. Have I made any blunders? Is there anything I can do to make it more useful? Specifically, what tags would be appropriate?

Ncprowler (talk) 14:05, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Mike McCarley Article about new president of the Golf Channel Mike McCarley for review please
Please review. Article references many news reputable stories. Thank you.

Remmick2099 (talk) 14:50, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Frontofthecanoe/Wickaninnish Inn
I am seeking feedback for this page overall, notably for formatting. I am having trouble making the main title, Wickaninnish Inn, appear properly. However, any & all advice would be appreciated! Thank-you.

Frontofthecanoe (talk) 16:36, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Steve8619/Jumbo Games
I would like to know if the content of the article meets Wikipedia standards and if not, can you offer me advice on what I need to amend to make it acceptable, then that would be most appreciated.

Steve8619 (talk) 16:42, 6 June 2011 (UTC)


 * 1. I don't see the requisite notability for this small company.
 * 2. The tone is grossly unencyclopedic: it reads like a cut-and-paste from a company pamphlet or website.
 * 3. The history should be narrative, not bullet-point.
 * 4. There are NO sources whatsoever outside the company's own websites.
 * If this article was to be moved into userspace, it would probably be deleted almost instantly. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  15:20, 10 June 2011 (UTC)

Bunny Bop!
Bunny Bop! is an original preschool web series produced in Canada. It is produced by the creator of The Big Comfy Couch.

Superstarcm (talk) 16:46, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Ismena Halkiewicz
This is an article about the artist and painter Ismena Halkeiwicz. Please review and let me know of any changes I need to make. Thanks!

HeatherO88 (talk) 16:58, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Azapro911/How Much Love
Is this article suitable for use in Wikipedia? Are the references reliable enough?

Azapro911 (talk) 19:59, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Berry L. Cannon
I'm hoping for feedback so the "new unreviewed article" template can be removed. I don't have immediate access to Sea Dwellers and Papa Topside, so it would be good if any additional information from those books could be added. Also, I wish I knew Cannon's precise date of birth.

Gildir (talk) 20:18, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Msutton11/C_S_Bio_Co.
I am beginning to create a page for C S Bio Co., a biotech company in Menlo Park, CA. They are a respected company in their industry, but how can I improve the page up to Wikipedia standards? They have been around since 1993 and are privately owned, so the amount of sources are limited. They have been referenced in a number of scientific journals, would that been a reliable source?

Msutton11 (talk) 20:33, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Azapro911/Man Against The World
Is this article on the Survivor single "Man Against The World" suitable for Wikipedia?

Azapro911 (talk) 20:43, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Andesite Vineyard
This was reviewed by a good proof reader who does not login to Wikipedia and suggested changes were made.

This article relates to the Spring Mountain District article in a similar manner to the the Smith-Madrone Vineyard and other similarly listed articles.

I would like the "unreviewed article" designation removed and do not know how to accomplish that.

Charles M Howard (talk) 20:51, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Larry_Wilde
This is a new unreviewed article. Please provide feedback and let me know if anything needs to be changed. Thanks!

Suite Afton (talk) 21:04, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Samuel Gilbert Scott
Hoping for feedback so "new unreviewed article" template can be removed.

Gildir (talk) 22:05, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

User:Stjgoc/St. John's Greek Orthodox College
I posted this article but it was not accepted. I have re-done the article from the beggining, article is now in third person, neutral point of view, more references added. Stjgoc (talk) 00:05, 7 June 2011 (UTC)

Photooxygenation
This is my first article and was written as a collaborative project with another undergraduate chemistry student and reviewed by our professor. I am very confident in the validity of the content; however, I would love to get some feedback on the format and how well the page conforms to Wikipedia's standards. Thanks! Livewire61 (talk) 04:13, 7 June 2011 (UTC)