Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 March 25

Kenneth Reynolds
I need feedback on this article. I am 99.9% sure it isn't ready to be published, seeing as I am new to this. So, I need pointers, what more do I need to do to make this a page worthy of Wikipedia? What needs to be added/removed/changed? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. This guy has done a lot of good and deserves to be in Wikipedia, please help me help him. Thank you.

Skelleteen117 (talk) 02:42, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Tone is too promotional rather than encyclopedic. An article should not sound like the writer is promoting the subject (or is the subject???), which this article does.  Further, the article has too many external links within the text (visually notable by the little boxes by the blue links), which are highly discouraged; if the term/person/place doesn't have a Wikipedia article, leave it a redlink.  Also that whole "year withheld for privacy" in the lede is ridiculous; that simply isn't done in a biography, and comes across as silly and coy (and again raises questions as to whether this is autobiography...).  The references also do not appear to meet WP:RS.  That said, the figure claims association with a lot of evidently notable figures, so finding at least a few RS's doesn't look impossible. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:38, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Swede johnson01/Judge Paul G. Maughan
Swede johnson01 (talk) 04:44, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Some of the references are too broad, like www.utah.edu. You need specific webpage that contains info matching your claim. I haven't examine whether it is notable enough. --Netheril96 (talk) 15:45, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Jennifer Lauck
I have no reason to think there are flaws in this post. I've verified my sources. Feedback is greatly appreciated. THANK YOU.

Catespace (talk) 05:48, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Sea Turtles 911
Would love some feedback on my article, thanks in advance!

Lagros (talk) 12:25, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
 * The article looks complete and well supported. The External links section should be below the References section. If you wanted to spend the time to spiffy it up, you could redo the references using the templates ("Cite web") at Citation templates. They come out a lot better that way, and are easier to repair if link rot sets in. When I was in Sanya, my friends were served turtle soup one night. Very annoying. Good luck with the article. Tkotc (talk) 21:55, 26 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Wendyroseberry/BrianWhelan
would love some feedback...i would like to move the article now to wikipedia. thanks in advance! wendy

Wendyroseberry (talk) 12:46, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * The most conspicuous problem is the pictures. You should see Mos.--Netheril96 (talk) 15:48, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Besides the abovementioned (pics should be off in the margins, not centre-stage), the writing is a bit florid for WP. " His works, like much medieval art, depict a sublime comedy of life’s glories and tragedies on both religious and secular planes."  That's more like a gallery brochure, not an encyclopedia article.  You can quote art authorities who may say such lines, or you can describe work in more dispassionate terms ("his themes are X, his influences are Y"), but you need to go through the article and make sure it's cut-and-dry biography rather than praise or promotion.  Barring these issues though, it's awfully close to ready. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:20, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

ESRI Canada
The article in question is a legitimate article about a commercial entity. This entity is unique in it's field because of an award winning sustainable roof garden and also provides a free community maps service - first of it's kind in Canada. It includes 18 citations from reliable sources. The only link to the entity is one small link to the corporate website and no other promotion intended.

Why can it not be published?

Donlaw315 (talk) 13:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * I think it is fine, though I only scanned it cursively. Maybe you should publish it again and if resisted, directly talk to that person on his/her talk page.--Netheril96 (talk) 16:00, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

John Callender (clergyman)
This is my first article submission. I just wanted to be sure that it was okay. Thanks!

Phife54 (talk) 15:15, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * I'm afraid it unlikely meets WP:Notability (people). This article hinges on a single book as the reference, which is specifically about him. If you can supplement with a variety of secondary sources it will be fine.--Netheril96 (talk) 15:53, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Mandatory Arrest Policies
I added a section titled "Mandatory Arrest Policies" to the Minneapolis Domestic Violence Experiment page. I discussed the history of mandatory arrest laws in the U.S., as well as the circumstances for arrest and the current arrest rates in the U.S. I would like feedback on the quality of the post, and any suggestions for improvement. I provided all the external links to the works where I found the information I used in the post.

Meganmack1408 (talk) 16:37, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Shri Himanta Biswa Sarma
Hi folks, i am trying to create a page on our health minister Shri Himanta Biswa Sarma, who is sitting M.L.A from Jhalukbari constituency in Assam. Please come forward and help me to create a marvelous artcile on this superb personality. Sagar ghy (talk) 17:40, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * This is not the place to request new article. Suggest you try instead Wikipedia_talk:WikiProject_India. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:15, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Fisher-speed/Sport-Beat
Please advise on notability. Thank you. Other suggestions welcome. User:Fisher-speed/Sport-Beat

anyone??

Fisher-speed (talk) 17:47, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Suzy Lake
I would appreciate any feedback on this entry. Thank you! Filtrate (talk) 21:29, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Filtrate (talk) 21:29, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
 * I can't say I reviewed the article in depth, but I noticed an issue with your referencing right away. First, if you are referring to a Wikipedia article, like you did in the instance of "Detroit riots", you only use a "Wikilink"; that is, you just surround the words consisting of the article name with square brackets, like this: Detroit riots . Second, in the body of your article, generally you should only use "reliable sources" to support the facts you mention. The subject's own web site is ordinarily not a reliable source. (See WP:RS and associated pages). So you should not use that site as a reference, and just leave it in External links. If you wanted to improve the construction of the article, you could compose your references using the citation templates (namely, "Cite web") at Citation templates. Tkotc (talk) 22:09, 26 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Tokzhan/Samurai Bond Market
Help me to edit my article. I have problems with citation. I didn't understand how to do it properly. Please, comment on what is need to be changed, added or removed. Thanks!

Tokzhan (talk) 21:31, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

The Fantasy Fix
I must say adding to Wikipedia is incredibly difficult for a new user (which I guess is a good thing). I am trying to add my website (thefantasyfix.com). We have about 20 writers for us currently that write about fantasy sports. The website is update daily and we often publish 2-4 articles daily. Many of our writers do this for fun, but many also have editorial degrees. In 2010 we published hundreds of unique articles. I truly believe The Fantasy Fix should be found on Wikipedia, but I could really use someone's help in trying to figure this out.

Thanks,

Evan Marx

Rxshirts (talk) 21:46, 25 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Now located at Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/The Fantasy Fix. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:11, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Concur with reviewer: as the page currently stands it does not prove notability.  By this we mean the specific, technical benchmarks of WP:NOTABILITY.  Basically, what you need is evidence that neutral third parties in the media have recognised the importance of the subject.  For example, if you had a New York Times article about fantasy sports which said "and during this craze Fantasy Fix has become the primary resource for American players...", then that would be evidence of notability.  Lacking published, third-party mentions, an article about a person/organisation can't be published.  This is to prevent WP from becoming an endless listing of small clubs and people without long-term historic importance. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:14, 28 March 2011 (UTC)