Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 March 4

OPSGEAR
Please review this article.

Jrom86 (talk) 00:10, 4 March 2011 (UTC)
 * I think the article sounds more like an advertisement more than an informative article. There are tone and notability issues, as well, I feel, if I'm honest. If you're in any way associated or affiliated with the company you're probably not in the best position to write the article; it's called a conflict of interest and I think that's what may be the cause of the tone and Point of View issues. Chevy  monte  carlo  17:25, 4 March 2011 (UTC)

Abc1233ac (talk) 01:51, 4 March 2011 (UTC)


 * You need to do two things. First, immediately deal with the permissions problem for the images. Look at your user talk page, and follow the intsructions. Good luck. I personally found the process opaque and frustrating.


 * Second, you need to take your list of references and put them "inline" in the article at the point the reference supports your statements. See Citing sources. I did one reference as an example. I suggest using the templates at Citation templates, namely "cite web" to accumulate and present the information. Tkotc (talk) 23:48, 4 March 2011 (UTC)

Sheena Reyes
Hi, this is my first wikipedia article. Would appreciate your review.

Wikiactor1111 (talk) 07:30, 4 March 2011 (UTC)
 * The sources mostly let your article down. According to WP:CITE, other Wikipedia articles are not considered reliable sources for an article, so please remove those references. However, if the articles are related then they can perhaps be added to something like a 'See also' section. As to your actual sources themselves, it's best to use reliable references from third-parties independent of the article's subject. I think the article would also benefit significantly from an infobox, although the main thing I think you need to work on is the sources/references. Best of luck! Chevy  monte  carlo  17:30, 4 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Where you are providing a hyperlinked reference to an article on Wikipedia, you only need the "Wikilink" -- you should not add an extra link between "ref" tags in that case. Accordingly, I removed the extraneous links. Like Chevy said, your article should have some external third-party references. See what you can dig up. Tkotc (talk) 23:56, 4 March 2011 (UTC)

Vinod Johri
Please review this article to see if anything is missing. I have added references but they are limited from India.

Hakhtar64 (talk) 17:20, 4 March 2011 (UTC)
 * In general the article gives the impression of a fairly complete overview of a notable academic. I'm not going to try to evaluate the substance of it past saying that. In most of the article this is correctly done, but in the first two paragraphs he is not referred to by a single "surname". If the balance of the article shows his name correctly "Johri", then you could alter it here too. The usual convention is that the reference goes outside the punctuation mark: " yada yada yada,ref" so you could change this minor point too. When I encountered "CSIR" I had no idea what it is. Acronyms like that should be first spelled out in full with the acronym in parentheses. DAMTP and GANITA PARISAD were other similar mysterious inclusions that need further explanation. I don't think Dark Energy needs quotation marks. Tkotc (talk) 00:08, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

Gaston's Mill-Lock No. 36, Sandy and Beaver Canal District
Would like comments on this new article. I'm not entirely comfortable with the title, but everything official that I've seen suggests that this is the name of the historic district, so I guess that's the way it should be. I created a redirect page for Gaston's Mill Thanks!

 Wikipelli  Talk   18:17, 4 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Very nice article. I agree, you titled it exactly as it's official name. I can't make a further suggestion about that. A very minor point is that the External links should be a list, and follow References. I removed the Unreviewed Article tag. Tkotc (talk) 00:16, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Wmine/Widest-Mine.org
I hope that many contributors can judge the relevance of an article about this new website.

Wmine (talk) 18:42, 4 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Seacoast2011/Seacoast Mavericks
Seacoast2011 (talk) 21:27, 4 March 2011 (UTC)
 * I fixed a couple of minor formatting glitches but you have some work to do here. First, the "notability" of the subject isn't really clear. I suggest you review Notability and some of the subtopics that would apply to your subject. Second, your references need to be changed a bit. Look at Citing sources. The easiest way is to use the "cite web" template at Citation templates, copying and pasting the template and filling in the various data fields. Tkotc (talk) 00:27, 5 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Carlosquiroz/Promotoras
This is my first entry. It's about Promotoras--Latino community health workers used in public health and community education programs. I'm looking for any constructive feedback and to see if it is a good enough draft for posting. Thank you.

Carlosquiroz (talk) 23:03, 4 March 2011 (UTC)

User:Rebecca.k.cha/Lisa Hoffman
Thank you for any help! This is my first article.

Rebecca.k.cha (talk) 23:07, 4 March 2011 (UTC)