Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 May 17

Authorized Dish Network retailers
This article is still a userspace draft, so I'd like to have it reviewed before I take it live. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Ocelot7 (talk) 00:19, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * It may be preferable to merge this into the main Dish Network article. It may not be notable enough for its own article. For future reference:
 * Don't forget to wikify your article. For example, Dish Network produces Dish Network.
 * Be sure to categorize your articles to help other users find them.
 * Please read the policies and guidelines I sent you in my welcome message to help deal with any questions. You may want to read the reliable sources guideline and the guideline for external links in particular; the sources you have aren't all reliable, and you have an external link to example.com.
 * I hope that helps. Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:15, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks for the feedback! Much appreciated. I'll go ahead and take care of the changes you suggested. As for merging the article, do you think it would be preferable to take this article live first -- I wouldn't be surprised if other users have content to add to the article. If the article remains small, though, I agree it could be merged. Ocelot7 (talk) 01:33, 17 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Sure, that would be okay. Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:45, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Sebastien Feller
Hi, I have created an article on French chess player Sebastien Feller. Please help me to review.

Kangaroo817 (talk) 02:12, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * At first glance it looks workable; Facebook is not generally citeable, but I suppose a birthday is a pretty minor thing. For several other of your footnotes, I don't personally know what is and is not authoritative in the chess community. Since your basic formatting is sound (I made a few tweaks), I recommend you post this same request for feedback at the Discussion tab of WP:WikiProject Chess to get more specifically technical feedback. Nice work! MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:16, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * Looks very good, well done! I've corrected a few smaller issues: I added interwiki's to all the other language wikipedias (they show up on the left of the screen) and is better than adding explicit links.  Also added the image from the fr wikipedia and some templates from WP:WikiProject Chess. Regards, --Voorlandt (talk) 19:27, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

PSCORE
This is my third revision of "PSCORE" an NGO in South Korea that addresses human rights in North Korea and Korean reunification. I have revised this article based on the comments I received and more sources were used and revised. Feedback and comments are appreciated for the next steps to have this article approved for Wikipedia. --Cbyoon90 (talk) 05:31, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

I have moved this page and hope that the sources, notability are suitable as a Wikipedia page. Feedback and comments are appreciated!

Thank you very much, I've learned a lot about writing Wikipedia articles. --Cbyoon90 (talk) 07:26, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Cbyoon90 (talk) 05:42, 17 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Moving the page creates a redirect, no need to double post. As for your current revision:
 * Check the guidelines for capitalization. We should not use non-formal capitalization.
 * You have improved the reliability of your sources tremendously. Good job! However, you should try and format them in accordance to our guidelines to ensure that they can still be used in the future. I will take care of this page and you can take a look and see how I did it.
 * The article would be even better with a picture. Now that it is in article space, you can use copyrighted materials in accordance with the rules. For example, a logo would be good.
 * You have come a long way. Good work! Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:25, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Piano Media
This is my first article, I want to see if it's up to snuff please.

Dbrauchli (talk) 06:44, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

User:EssentialMedia2011/Essential Media and Entertainment
Informative and factual page on Essential Media and Entertainment, a production company based in Sydney, Australia.

EssentialMedia2011 (talk) 07:03, 17 May 2011 (UTC)
 * I have tagged your draft for clean-up. The most important is that you seem to have a conflict of interest, which is generally not good when writing a new article. Other than that, you need to pay attention to the General Notability Guidelines to prove the notability of your organization. One way to do this is to provide reliable, third-party sources as references. Don't forget to use footnotes to indicate what is verified by which source. The other things are easy to fix, so you shouldn't worry too much about them. Crisco 1492 (talk)

User:Iqbalbaskara/Komikoo.com
Hello, I'm writing this article to help the members of Komikoo.com to find a source of information. Right now if they search for 'komikoo' on wikipedia, they will be directed to the page of the Malaysian publication Komikoo, whereas Komikoo.com is an Indonesian online comic portal, and is not affiliated in any way with the Malaysian publication.

Please review this article and please let me know if I made any typing errors, grammatical or other mistakes. And if you think this article is ready, please publish it to the mainspace. Thanks in advance for your time.

Iqbalbaskara (talk) 07:54, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

RNIB Pears Centre for Specialist Learning
Hi, I'm looking for constructive feedback on a new article I created that hasn't been reviewed by anyone else yet. It's a page about a special school for young people with visual impairment and complex needs. Thank you Kat384 (talk) 10:56, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

The Toilet of Doom
New article about a book. Can you give me feedback for improvement?

 Rcsprinter  Gimme a message  15:23, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

User:EmilyMcr/Manchester Science Festival
Draft article - what does everyone think of it? I have a COI - I'm one of the organisers of the Festival so am reluctant to add more detail or move it to the mainspace myself. Thanks.

EmilyMcr (talk) 16:25, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Mary F. Scranton
This article is new and needs to be reviewed.

Cgranad (talk) 18:07, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * Pretty solid overall, just needs a few things. You need to add WP:Categories, as specific as possible; maybe find a bio of a similar missionary on Wikipedia and use that to get an idea of format. You could also add at least a few more WP:wikilinks (I added a couple for you). The main thing is referencing: while your actual sourcing is great, the citation format needs work. Given that WP is a dynamic entity, not a fixed book, "ibid" is highly discouraged, as someone else could add footnotes or move footnotes, and we wouldn't be able to tell which book the "ibid" initially referred to. So specify the book each time. The other issue is that you cite "Kim", "Keller", etc. but it's not clear what books you mean. Best way to address this is to add a "Sources" sub-section under "References", and there give full bibliography-style citations of the books you refer to in your footnotes. Nice work overall, just needs a little fine-tuning. Note also that since the subject lived and died prior to 1923 (the cutoff point for copyright), any digital image you can acquire of her is out of copyright, and can be freely uploaded to WikiCommons, and added to the article. I strongly advise getting photos if you can, as it really adds life to the article. Feel free to post back here with any questions about image uploading; it's not difficult, but not intuitive for first-timers. Thanks for sharing, and let us know if you need any clarifications. MatthewVanitas (talk) 20:10, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

User:Trexy28/Freedom Fashionistas
This is the first article I have written on Wikipedia. Looking for feedback on the format and citation accuracy.

Trexy28 (talk) 18:22, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

User:Webstervantonder/Erich Retzlaff
Hi, I have created this page as part of my research into this photographer...how do I make it generally available?

Thanks for the feedback....much appreciated - I'm working on it!!!

Webstervantonder (talk) 18:45, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * When your article is ready to go, we can Move it to articlespace from here. Really cool article, but a few format issues. For a lot of these format issues, your best bet is to find a well-developed article for a similar photographer and see how his bio is formatted, and apply that to yours.
 * You need to add WP:Categories, specific ones, not "Photography", "Germany"
 * You need to "wikify" by adding internal WP:Wikilinks to other articles. This is double by typing a double [ and ] on either side of key terms. Not commonly-known things/people/places, but people involved in his life, technical/art terms, smaller cities/towns, etc.
 * You need to divide into sections, see a similar bio to get some ideas
 * Your referencing is just barely passable, but ideally you want to add a wide variety of footnotes from different sources. Try checking GoogleBooks for hits on his name. If you find good data that backs up individual statements in your article, you can auto-footnote GoogleBooks materials by just plugging the URL into the tool at http://reftag.appspot.com . Note that if you're viewing just a slice of a book in "snippet view", you have to manually enter the page number into the tool.
 * Since the subject is deceased, you can upload one low res image regardless of copyright per WP:Fair use
 * For footnote #2, on WP footnotes aren't used for "oh by the way", they're mainly used for references proving the statement is true. If you have comments about Kodacolor, either explain them in the body of the text (if they're important to understanding Retzlaff specifically), otherwise just type Kodacolor and it will link as Kodacolor so readers can learn as much as they like.
 * I would also introduce yourself and your article on the Discussion tab of WikiProject Photography, to get more technical input, meet other folks working on similar articles, etc.


 * Great start, just needs a little fine tuning. Feel free to post back here with any questions. MatthewVanitas (talk) 19:55, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Melissa Delgadillo
This is the first article I have created and would like general feedback. It is in regard to a local Houston Celebrity. Wikifamous (talk) 19:52, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


 * Greetings, nice work overall, and I've tagged it with a few maintenance templates for things you want to fine-tune.
 * You need to add WP:Categories, as specific as possible. Find a well-developed bio for a similar pageantist to give you an idea of what to apply.
 * There is no need to bold section titles; they're automatically formatted
 * Your footnotes are currently WP:Bare URLs, you'll want to turn them into full WP:Citations
 * Some of your sources (aside from news articles, which are great) are a little gray-area for WP:Reliable sources, so you're a bit patchy on WP:Notability (people). To ensure the article is not challenged for lack of substantiation of WP:Verifiability, I suggest you find several more footnotes from rock-solid professional media sources, such as newspapers and magazines.
 * Minor but important thing: one introduced by full name, subjects are referred to by last name, so throughout it should be "Delgadillo" rather than "Melissa".
 * I strongly suggest you post an identical Request for Feedback at the Discussion tab of WP:WikiProject Beauty Pageants, introducing yourself and your article to the experts there.


 * Nice work, just a bit of fine tuning. MatthewVanitas (talk) 20:36, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Mathew Thank you so much for reviewing. I will go through the article and make revisions according to your recommendations.

Wikifamous (talk) (UTC)


 * Good deal; whoops, I typed the link wrong previously; the specialist page you want is on WP:WikiProject Beauty Pageants, so definitely drop into their Discussion there. MatthewVanitas (talk) 14:30, 18 May 2011 (UTC)

User:RespectOrganization/Divine Cight
This is the first article I have written. I want some feedback to make sure everything is done right and within guidelines so it will not be deleted. I worked very hard on it. I tried my best to find the most reliable sources but I'm not sure it is enough. Please let me know what I should change so it can be permanent. Thank you.

RespectOrganization (talk) 22:23, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

The Armchairs
Hello

I received some good feedback about the page before. I made some changes but I am not sure I did everything right. This is my first page and I am still learning the language and syntax of the site. I fixed the citations to avoid "link rot". I think I did that right. I also added categories. Also is it my job to make sure that redirects work? for instance I have had problems getting to the page without using capitals. "the armchairs" doesn't always work. Also if I type in "The Armchair" it takes me directly to a book, instead of a disambiguation page. Misspelling it also leads nowhere, with no "did you mean" suggestions leading to the page. Not sure how to address those last issues. Thanks!

Diggerbabydaggerbaby (talk) 02:10, 18 May 2011 (UTC)

Janet Goodrich
Would like to make this article the best it can be and would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

Glow7 (talk) 02:11, 18 May 2011 (UTC)

Shoestring (disambiguation)
This is my first time overhauling a disambiguation page ( and detailed edit summary). I'm looking for editors well-versed in the nuances of disambiguation to critique my alphabetization, appropriateness of entries, length of entry descriptions, and anything else I might have overlooked. Thanks! &mdash;Cheng ✍ 04:22, 18 May 2011 (UTC)