Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 May 30

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Eranbelo
I am writing my thesis about the e-commerce industry and would like to experience through writing or edditing several articles about new companies in the industry. I've been trying for the past three days to post this article about a company called SafetyPay Inc., I followed every instruction but for some reason still being declined. Please read the article and explain why? Thank you Eranbelo (talk) 02:38, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
 * I think the main issue with the article is the lack of suitable references. At the moment you have only one reference, and that is from the company's own site. For a reference to be as reliable as possible, you need to find references from third-party sources. Also please use and use inline citations to display your references - it makes it easier to find which reference is verifying which statement. Without a good number of suitable, reliable references your article is likely to just get deleted for lack of notability or poor references. Hope this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  07:59, 30 May 2011 (UTC)


 * I would add that "new" companies come and go so quickly now days that it makes much more sense to wait and see if they last and become notable by more than themselves and blogs. A better idea in my opinion would be to work on articles of pioneering older companies giving their history, or update and add sources to the articles about the industry in general. And of course please do not add personal observations or opinions. Find an article by an industry expert, paraphrase and cite the article. Avoid expressions like "recently" and "for now" since they become out of date. Give the date of each event in past tense with citation. For example, "in May 2011 it was ..." W Nowicki (talk) 22:39, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

== The EMBRACE Healthcare Reform Plan A review of the published proposal for healthcare reform called the EMBRACE (Expanding Medical and Behavioral Resources with Access to Care for Everyone ) plan. The article discusses the details of the plan bas ==

A review of the published proposal for healthcare reform called the EMBRACE (Expanding Medical and Behavioral Resources with Access to Care for Everyone ) plan. The article discusses the details of the plan based on what is published in the Annals of Internal Medicine and the web site of the group that published it. I would like feedback on the clarity of the article, any suggestions for improvement and also whether it is worth having a section about the various discussions that have come about the plan. I am worried that it might make the article too long and boring and may bring in some partisan objections.

Glancast (talk) 03:40, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Most of your sections don't have any citations. Everything needs to be cited.  Also, don't write section headings in all caps.--Taylornate (talk) 14:44, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

User:Drome_mc/People_of_the_Rock:_The_Llanitos_of_Gibraltar_(2011_film)
Added a page for the 2011 documentary film that deals with culture, language and identity in Gibraltar.

Is the title for the wikipedia page too long? Is the "(2011 film)" addition requisite? Advisable? It feels long and clunky.

The references seem reliable, but additional confirmation would be appreciated.

drome_mc (talk) 03:42, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
 * No, I do not think the length of the article's title is that much of an issue. If that's the name of the film, then I think it's okay. You can omit the '(2011 film)' part if you want as there are no rules or preferred way of doing article titles as far as I know. As to suggestions for improvements, I think the article would benefit from an infobox and more suitable or descriptive names for the references so the reader can have some idea what the web pages being linked to are about. Good luck. Chevy  monte  carlo  08:07, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Looksee123/Gold_Coast_Dollar
I found out about the Gold Coast Dollar recently as lots of local companies are getting involved in my local area. I posted it on here but it was deleted as a "Blatant Hoax" which i found quite offensive lol. Since being deleted I have spoken to the user "Tikiwont" who deleted the article and shown him evidence on how the Gold Coast Dollar is anything but a hoax.

Gold Coast Dollar is similar as the Local Currencies listed on this Wikipedia link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Local_currency apart from it seems to have been introduced for slightly different reasons.

In Australia you have to be an active company with an Australian Company Number to register for a .com.au Url which they have, therefore they are an active company. There is all relevant Info on their website. www.goldcoastdollar.com.au

I am seeking the article to be reposted.

Looksee123 (talk) 05:13, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Agriculture MMP
Kindly someone review this article so that it can go online. Thank you.

Director, e-Governance division, Deptt of Informaiton Technology, MoC&amp;IT, India (talk) 05:13, 30 May 2011 (UTC)


 * Some feedback: are you associated in any way to the subject? If so, reading Conflict of interest would be a good start. It still might be possible for you to contribute, but you need to be careful about giving your own organization undue weight, for example. But given the mis-spelling of "Information" it makes one wonder. The other obvious feedback is you need context. Is the government involved here India? If so, please mention that. And wikilink the states, for example. It is convention to spell out the full name first in the lead, followed by acronym in parentheses, not the other way 'round; even if the acronym is the most common name, which makes it fine as article title. Although I would say start with a single article on all the "Mission Mode Projects" with a paragraph on each. It is not clear they are all notable enough to get their own article. They might all be essentially the same with small variations. You are providing sources, which is good, but more than a url and accessdate (title, author, date, publisher more than the domain name) would help WP:link rot. In general, avoid writing in present tense (or future tense). For example, instead of saying "website has been rolled out" say "website was rolled out on January 12, 2006" or whatever. Finally, I would avoid government-speak and use precise (but correct) English. For example, there is a bit of redundancy in it now. W Nowicki (talk) 21:40, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

e-office mmp
kindly someone review this article so that the unreviewed tag goes. Thank you.

Director, e-Governance division, Deptt of Informaiton Technology, MoC&amp;IT, India (talk) 05:16, 30 May 2011 (UTC)


 * No such article (yet?). See comments above, suggest a single article on all the MMPs with a summary paragraph on each. You can always expand and split them out later, if they stand the test of time. Often a new government gets in a couple years and comes up with a whole new set of acronyms. Everyone soon forgets the old ones. W Nowicki (talk) 21:42, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut_Butter_And_Swelly
This is my first written article for Wikipedia and I just wanted to make sure that everything appeared to be in order! Also, I would like the unreviewed tag to be taken off. Please and thank you.

Mhedbergfan (talk) 05:29, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Frank Macchia
This is my first article and I am seeking feedback from other editors. I am trying to add an image and category tags but am a little confused.

Ewjeditor (talk) 19:45, 30 May 2011 (UTC)


 * A good start. Image seems to be fine, assuming you produced the evidence of license required to assert copyright. I added some categories, but there are probably others. Look at similar people for examples. You might add him to some list articles too, and lnk back from the films he scored, etc. The main problem I see is to many inline links. Wikipedia is not a song directory, so put in wikilinks to related articles, citations for sources, and maybe his official web site, but linking each iTunes song could trigger a spam detector. W Nowicki (talk) 22:30, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Hunter Plastics Limited
My first full article - feedback, suggestions and guidance, please. Also, please remove the unreviewed tag. Thanks.

MyrtleDene (talk) 23:04, 30 May 2011 (UTC)