Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 September 2

User:Henley college/Antoinette Lattouf
Hello I bellieve my article is well sourced and the style is similar to other submissions. Are there any suggestions you can make? How can I publish it given im new to wiki. Thanks

Henley college (talk) 05:56, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

N dimmensional room data processing Title should be (dimensional data room processing)
Title should be (dimensional data room processing)

Bindigoat (talk) 07:03, 2 September 2011 (UTC)


 * At the moment it's a solid wall of text - needs splitting into sections for easier reading.
 * Needs references and citations as there are none, to support the content throughout.
 * I would say it also reads too much like an essay, and needs writing and structuring into a more encyclopedic article.

 Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 16:30, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Delete - pure original research. &mdash; RHaworth 21:17, 5 September 2011 (UTC)

Translink (U) Ltd
Jayathakrar (talk) 09:01, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Clampco Sistemi
Just need an help to improve the page and avoid deletion. Consider that company mentioned has a sound story, and is well known in the market worldwide so a lot of information can be added. I added a short description because I was trying to be as neutral as possible. Thanks in advance.

Gmenta (talk) 11:12, 2 September 2011 (UTC)


 * The reason it is being nominated for deletion, is A7, explained here: CSD. In short, it lacks sufficient sources to account for its notability. Sounds like the editor who nominated the article has performed a search for notable reference and got no results, therefore he doubts you will too. So unless you know of any other sources, per WP:CORP, there's not a lot can be done I'm afraid.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 11:55, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Aaron Milo
Charliestyle (talk) 11:58, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

User:Felipesaenzm/Revenue per Page View
Hi! Thank you very much for all your gelp! I will like to know what else do I have to do in order to get this article published?

Thank you!

Felipe

Felipesaenzm (talk) 13:04, 2 September 2011 (UTC)


 * At the moment it doesn't have much to go on, more a definition than anything. Personally, I would think it better to add that info into the existing Page view article, which is need of expansion and is related.
 * It needs references to support it, as it is not cited.
 * Articles should not be signed.

 Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 16:37, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Demand sensing
Please review the "Demand Sensing" article I've drafted for feedback. Many thanks.

Summary: Demand Sensing is a next generation forecasting method that leverages new mathematical techniques and near real-time information to create an accurate forecast of demand, based on the current realities of the supply chain. The typical performance of demand sensing systems reduces near-term forecast error by 30% or more compared to traditional time-series forecasting techniques. The jump in forecast accuracy helps companies manage the effects of market volatility and gain the benefits of a demand-driven supply chain, including more efficient operations, increased service levels, and a range of financial benefits including higher revenue, better profit margins, less inventory, better perfect order performance and a shorter cash-to-cash cycle time. Gartner, Inc. insight on demand sensing can be found in its report, "Supply Chain Strategy for Manufacturing Leaders: The Handbook for Becoming Demand Driven."

Liacono (talk) 14:50, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

User:Sandy1451/Keker & Van Nest LLP
This is my first article and I would like some feedback on the the text, tone and neutrality of the article.

Sandy1451 (talk) 15:55, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Ronald Simien
Ronald Simien is a philosophic poet that stepped away from the book publishing world while his potential was still rising and creating adoration in the arts and poetry community. Seeking to set a new standard for the literary art of creative writing, Ronald turned away from the contentment of book deals to explore the pure relationship of readers that are moved and feel connected to the power of written words in the process of branding his literature.

Concreteyardwork (talk) 16:03, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

The British Soldier in the Eighteenth Century
Heya!

This is a new article I've been writing as part of my UGRS scholarship at Leeds University. I'd very much like any feedback and comments you have to make it better (and hopefully to get the little blue box at the top removed!)

Thanks for your help.

GemmaHist (talk) 18:51, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

*I will review this article over the weekend, looks wonderful!  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 21:47, 2 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Reviewed - I am posting feedback comments on your talk page, rather than here, as it is quite a long review.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 09:24, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

User:Cbjack68/Western Military Academy
Hello, I have finished a new article on a now defunct military academy.Will it be accepted? Would appreciate your thoughts.

Cbjack68 (talk) 19:50, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
 * I will review this over the weekend - looks interesting.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 21:48, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. Cbjack68 (talk)


 * I note you have been working on this since February, and that most of your edits on wiki have been dedicated to its development, with a few exceptions. Because only a handful of your contribs are in articles, I'm going to assume that you are not familiar with all Wikis quality standard guidelines, just yet and have copy-edited the article, given that it isn't too long. You can review those copy-edits here if you want to see those changes in detail.


 * As this is a historical article, in addition to references it needs citing. At present there are no in-line references to support quotes, facts or figures which could be challenged; before you publish it to article space it is vital that you do so to avoid deletion. A guide to citing can be found here: WP:CITE; it is a relatively straight-forward process once you get used to it. What you strongly need to account for from your references when citing is the notability of the subject. And all citations should be verifiable.
 * As your book materials are all listed, I would recommend a short-form of citing, which make things a lot easier for you. Simply go through the article, and when you cite a sentence or key-point, simply type in the author's surname and the relevant page/s like so:  or   for example - the results of which will automatically appear in the References section, in order and formatted.

Feel free to ask any questions or request a follow-up review via my talk page.

Regards,  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 11:38, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Bob Turner (politician)
The page is brand new. I know for a fact that other editors have tried to make this article, but information on his biography was not centralized anywhere. I still don't know his DOB or exactly what years he was in the army, what he did in the army, and how he worked at different positions chronologically. There is also a hole of info from Multimedia Entertainment, which lists him as Prez from 1991-1994, and Conevry after him, but who was before Turner? And if anyone has a pic, please, please add :-)

Sc r ew ba ll 23 talk 20:14, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Wrestling_Revolution_Project
Created page. Was previously deleted for copyright infringement by another user. As always, looking for improvement.

Wafflefriesforfree (talk) 01:42, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Granta (river)
Please remove the "This page is a new unreviewed article" box.

NearEMPTiness (talk) 11:38, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Reviewed. Though I would have thought a long-term contributor, such as yourself, would put in at least one reference to give it a bit more notability than a stub deserves.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 11:46, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Andrew Pakula Review and Advice
Could this page es content and structure be better? It is a new page but this individual is connected to the various Wikipedia pages outlined and has notability in their own right.

ZippieLips (talk) 12:27, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Regarding your comment above - wiki articles do not inherit notability from other wiki articles, but must account for notability in their own right.
 * That said, you do appear to have accounted for Pakula - a few of your sources are independent which is required, although several are self-published by Pakula himself.
 * I would strongly advise that you apply all your web references within the cite web template to prevent link rot, as bare urls are generally discouraged.

Cheers,  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 12:45, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

hello, wikipedia
hello, ... i m Atif mahmood cheema i m from pakistan, i m freelance journalist, i work for news papers , and i have wrote many Articles in pakistani national news papers , i like your website , i think this is not a website but this is good knowledge of World and about history of world , you are doing very good and God Help you every kind of work you want to do. i m very happy, Since two year i m regularly seen your wbsite and gain knowledge about world .... i want to work for your web and make a member for your team .....Atif mahmood cheema, mobile no : 0092-3219530338, from Pakistan

Cheema12 (talk) 13:25, 3 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Wikipedia is a free website, that anyone can edit. There are no jobs or employees on Wikipedia, it's all run by Wikimedia Foundation who own, the Wiki range of websites. Its content is maintained and organised by volunteers worldwide.  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 15:43, 3 September 2011 (UTC)