Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 September 24

Andrew Wilson Bettwy
Inquiring whether I have adequately established notability.

Sbettwy (talk) 06:04, 24 September 2011 (UTC)

User:Duimelot/Russo's New York Pizzeria
Hello, This is my first article, I'd like to receive feedback on whats missing or should be changed to make it acceptable for wiki inclusion. thanks, duimelot

Duimelot (talk) 07:57, 24 September 2011 (UTC)

Hina Shah
Hi, New article submitted. Just need a review. No particular question. Cant seem to generate it in a asearch in google. any idea why?

Icecd (talk) 08:58, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
 * ✅ Ma&reg;&copy; usBriti sh  [talk]''' 20:00, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
 * You only moved it today - Google doesn't "crawl" new articles and list them the moment you do, it takes time.
 * No in-line citations - there are several references at the bottom, which need to support the material in-line. See: WP:CITE
 * The tone of the article is not neutral, and needs to be made more neutral sounding. See: WP:NPOV
 * You need to wikilink the article, as it has none.
 * When re-writing the tone, be sure the article and any sources follow biographical and notability guidelines.
 * Where you have used + and &gt; signs, eg "...reached out to +75,000 women directly and +1150 organizations...", it would be better putting wording, something like "more than" or "approximately", to deliver those sentences clearer; signs should be saved for mathematical articles.
 * The lead section seems a bit long, and should probably be split - a sub-heading after the first paragraph, eg "Background" would probably work better.
 * The term "In a man's world" might be deemed as editorial rather than factual, by some readers, and should probably be omitted to maintain neutrality. Whilst women's rights may be less significant in some countries, Wiki is not the place to advocate a point of view, either way.
 * Generally, the article needs to be less business-like and more objective, in its tone.

Paul James Rooney
I have noticed that 'Paul James Rooney' is a new page and needs reviewing. I have a great knowledge of the subject and have on good knowledge know the information to all be 100 per cent correct.

Dancingqueen21 (talk) 10:45, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Feel free to contribute and expand the article, but bear in mind that Wiki cannot place trust in your knowledge alone - any material added must be referenced and cited, and in accordance with biography guidelines. Cheers. Ma&reg;&copy; usBriti sh  [talk]''' 20:37, 24 September 2011 (UTC)

User:Burningxfight/Dir Yassin
Hello, I'm currently editing a band page but can't get the name to differ from another page, I'd like to precise the fact that it's a band in the list of disambiguation. Also it would be great to put an infobox but couldn't figure out how to make one. Could you please help me ? Thanks for your help. Burningxfight (talk) 12:23, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * When moving the article, simply rename it Dir Yassin (band) - worry about disamb. pages later.
 * See Infobox musical artist for all the options on creating a band infobox.

Cheers, Ma&reg;&copy; usBriti sh  [talk]''' 20:41, 24 September 2011 (UTC)

User:Annie_Answers/Lakota_Mastino
Is my article (Lakota Mastino) good enough to be shown?

คnnie Δnรwerร ♥ (talk) 22:32, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * In short, no, it lacks sufficient content. Please look at some of the articles about various breeds from [List of dog breeds]], as examples of a fuller, more in-depth article, including sections such as: history, breeding, health, characteristics, etc. Ma&reg;&copy; usBriti sh  &#91;Talk]&#91;RFF]''' 01:38, 25 September 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birmingham_Financial_Forum
Can you please help me to make this page not attract page deleters. I am taking a neutral standpoint and I am not advertising, yet it keeps getting deleted.

Propunkheroes (talk) 23:14, 24 September 2011 (UTC)


 * This page has been deleted twice and this user, an obvious Conflict of interest problem who keeps switching identities, keeps recreating the same purely promotional page. City O f Silver 23:16, 24 September 2011 (UTC)