Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2011 September 7

Removed Amazon link
Fkdcampo (talk) 02:07, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Monterrey's Casino Royale Massacre
Varlaam (talk) 05:06, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Comment. This article should be merged into 2011 Monterrey casino attack.


 * Why merge - the info is exactly the same - why not just redirect this title to that one?  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 09:44, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Aloysius%27_High_School,_Kanpur
Hi I have used the Website, Alumni website as the source for this article, however the content is purely written by me.

Sumiljalota 07:49, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Santi Visalli
I would appreciate feedback on this new article.

IvonV (talk) 14:01, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Rcnathan
I have prepared an article about Sainik Samachar. There is no mention about Sainik Samachar in Wikipedia. Hence this attempt. Kindly read the article and give your comments. This may help to get the article approved for publication. Chidambaranathan

Rcnathan (talk) 14:08, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

User:1st4pets/Derivatives of vegetable origin
If anyone has any addition information on this I would be very grateful.

1st4pets (talk) 15:02, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Where The Boys Aren't
I added the AVN-Award winning series Where The Boys Aren't. It has been nominated for multipe awards over the years and has features some of the most famous porsntas of the last 25 years. For these reasons, I find the page to to be notable, but welcome any and all opinion/criticism.

TheOneQ (talk) 15:32, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Lewis M. Eisenberg
Hello again, looking for general critique of this article prior to perm posting. Lewis M. Eisenberg is a NY based financier well noted for his involvement with 9/11 and national politics. Your editorial time is greatly appreciated. R Suximei (talk) 16:26, 7 September 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 12:22, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
 * You need to read Biography of Living Persons and create a more neutral tone, it reads a bit too much like flattery in places.
 * Please make sure his WP:notability is clearly established, through independent sources.
 * There are 7 "quotes" near the bottom - every single one needs citing via reliable sources, to account for them clearly.
 * Several of your External links are already in the References and do not need repeating - most duplicates are nytimes links.
 * Your References and External links should be fully formatted, to be fully visible and to prevent link rot, preferably using the cite web template.


 * Please see Manual of Style if you need help styling the article to meet quality standards. Note:
 * Headings need to only use upper case for first word, names and proper nouns.
 * You don't need to use &lt;br /> after paragraphs, just double space, wiki will do the rest.
 * Please use ndashes or a colon between dates and quotes, rather than hypens.

thank you Ma®©usBritish, getting to work now  R Suximei (talk)

http://www.carnaticdarbar.com/news/201101/20110620.asp
Sudha Jagannathan (talk) 18:01, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Randy_Gilkey
The article/subject does meet all requirements for a notable wika subject. Just wanted to get it verified

Dryhillmusic (talk) 18:50, 7 September 2011 (UTC)


 * ✅  Ma &reg;&copy; usBr iti sh [talk] 12:50, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm afraid I disagree - I do not believe it contains enough reliable sources. At the moment there are 3 local newspaper articles, which are generally not wholly-independent as they serve the community interest. Needs more national interest to establish WP:notability. See also Biography of Living Persons for detailed advice on writing a biographical article.
 * If you should be citing anything, it should be these second paragraph claims: "Gilkey's better known instrumentation can be found on albums by artists such as..." and "Randy has also shared the stage and played with many notable acts such as..." - as these are highly open to being challenged without credible references to support them.
 * Someone has tagged the article as it does not yet meet wiki's quality standards.

David Bianco
Simply looking for some feedback on a new article. Any help is appreciated :)

Newmediamaven (talk) 21:01, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Toni Gilbert
Is this page clear on the studies and developments this author has made within the Holistic community.

Sarajaju (talk) 21:36, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Phil 'Fang' Volk
This article (my first ever) is about Phil 'Fang' Volk, bassist for the '60s group Paul Revere and the Raiders. I would just like some overall critique of both style and substance. I must disclose that I have met Phil Volk (once last summer), but am writing the article as a fan of over 40 years. I work in an elementary school library, so I hope that my sources are adequate! It would be embarrassing if they weren't. I have other bits of information to add, including a discography and category links at the end of the article. I am in the process of getting consent for photo use. Any constructive criticism would be welcome. I tried my best to adhere to all the rules, but am afraid at times I was a bit overwhelmed. Thanks in advance for your help and patience with this novice! MommieOD (talk) 01:46, 8 September 2011 (UTC)