Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/Archive/24

J'Aton Couture


''This is a very simple article about an increasingly prominent Australian fashion house. I would appreciate any feedback or additions to this article. Thanks!'' —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ratorg (talk • contribs) 09:24, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Not bad for a new article. Could use some links about some of the more fine words/terms. Overall, an ✅ from me. A p 3 rson  ‽   14:42, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Edwin Hodge
Edwin Hodge

tjbw (talk) 21:03, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
 * Still needs some work, sentence structure mainly. Also, a little bit more about the person, rather than just about 5 sentences and 2 large tables. But a good start. A p 3 rson  ‽   14:45, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Joey Allcorn
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dr._Magnifico/Joey_Allcorn

Page for indie alt-country artist Joey Allcorn, singer/songwriter from Columbus, GA who's collaborators include Hank III, Don Helms, Lloyd Green and Johnny Hiland. This is my first attempt at Wikipedia authoring; let me know what you think. Thanks,

Dr. Magnifico (talk) 21:54, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
 * Needs some things:
 * Only refer to something with a link once
 * Remove the redlinks
 * Use the function to make proper references.
 * A good start though. A p 3 rson  ‽   14:49, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Claire Buchar
I would appreciate any feedback on the following article

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claire_Buchar

Many thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by TinaEPO (talk • contribs) 15:09, 1 March 2010 (UTC)


 * A couple of things to consider:


 * You need to have a lede.
 * The first paragraph is not a paragraph, just a series of sentences. You should try to rework that into a narrative paragraph. Have a go at that and drop me a note on my talk page if you need some help.
 * You refer to the subject of the article by her first name, this comes across as familiar and that suggests a particular point of view. My suggestion would be to use her surname.
 * The article really needs a better set of references, I've put a few for consideration below (using google's news search in the archives is a good way to find references). You need a reference, for example, for her marriage.
 * I think if you could both provide some more general biographical data and also try to place her in her professional context (rather than just listed races she's won), that would also help.


 * http://www.torontosun.com/sports/othersports/2009/09/07/10775296-sun.html
 * http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/australian-mountain-bike-national-championships-cn/downhill-elite-women/results


 * I realize this may seem like a long list of things to work on, so please contact me on my talk page if you feel daunted or need help. You have made a good start, and this can be a very good article if you keep at it. Nuujinn (talk) 15:56, 6 March 2010 (UTC)

Many thanks Nuujinn, I have made some edits and would appreciate additional feedback TinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)TinaEPOTinaEPO (talk) 17:41, 22 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I dropped by and made some edits, added a reference and cleaned up the prose a bit. It still needs work tho. Take a look at how I changed the references--if you name them, you don't have to repeat them and the list is cleaner. Let me know if you have any questions. -- Nuujinn (talk) 13:19, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Carl Moyer Program
Carl Moyer Program

Please give a general review of this recently posted Wiki entry. I want to make sure it is clear and that all citations are noted.

Carl Moyer Program

--Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 02:37, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
 * As a preliminary review, right now the article is almost entirely sourced using primary sources. You need secondary sources (also called third party sources) in the article—reliable newspaper articles, documentaries, books, magazine articles—written by people unaffiliated with the program. This type of subject is necessarily going to have to rely to some extent on primary source material but it should not rely on them entirely. Because of the way it's written, it reads like a brochure. When the subject of an article is a person or a company and it reads like this the impression is much worse because promotional on such subjects smacks of self-aggrandizement, whereas this is a government program—but it still sounds like ad-copy. We strive for neutrally written, balanced articles, giving voice to positive and negative criticism where appropriate. I also imagine you have a conflict of interest; that you are in some way personally involved with this topic, which makes writing a balanced article not only difficult, but usually it is not something the writer wants to do. Right now I could see it being nominated for deletion as promotion.--Fuhghettaboutit (talk) 03:58, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Fuhghettaboutit Thanks for the feedback. I'll get on this right away to address the citation and neutrality issues! Riezebos Holzbaur (talk) 18:08, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

Abraham Lincoln Institute
I am working on my first article, an entry on an organization I am a part of named the User:Gleidner/Abraham Lincoln Institute. It is in my userspace and I believe it is close to ready (although I would like to make the institute's website a little more prominent than it is now--as a reference) but would appreciate feedback. I received some kind help from Wifione a few hours ago. Many thanks.

Gleidner (talk) 08:45, 8 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I have not looked at your potential new article, but your comment of "an organization I am a part of" immediately brings to mind Conflict of interest. You may already be aware of this guidance, but if not, it is well worth a look.


 * Derek R Bullamore (talk) 09:07, 8 March 2010 (UTC)


 * In addition to the above, please take a look at the notability guidelines for organizations set out at WP:ORG. To demonstrate the notability of the subject, you will have to cite significant coverage in reliable sources - the organization's website is not considered reliable for establishing notability. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 8 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Since nothing has happened to your draft after the posts above, I suppose you have been effectively discouraged from editing it. For my part, I find the draft useful and would regret if your effort was in vain. It appears NPOV and uncontroversial; the problem is that notability isn't demonstrated. Maybe a solution could be that you correct these faults and then somebody uninvolved creates the article based on your draft (and other material, if they see fit)? --Jonund (talk) 17:33, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

In response to Jonund and others, I have revised the article, adding 9 or 10 web references that I believe will verify notability and references, as suggested. I would be glad for someone else to write the article based on my draft. What is the best link to submit this draft to? Thank you. Gleidner (talk) 13:46, 20 April 2010 (UTC) Gleidner

SAA Architecure, LLC
SAA Architecture, LLC

Please review my article that was posted on Thursday March 4, 2010. Thanks!!

Wendyfables (talk) 20:02, 11 March 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables


 * I moved it to SAA Architecture in accordance with Wikipedia's naming conventions for companies. There are some issues as the tag indicates. I think it's a little promotional in tone - in particular the list of major projects is too long - I would list just a handful, preferably those that already have Wikipedia articles, if any (and link to them). Similarly for the awards section - trim it down to just major awards that the firm has won. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Wendyfables (talk) 11:26, 15 march 2010 (UTC) Wendyfables Thankyou for the feedback - i will make the suggested changes!

(Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))I made more changes that were suggested. Can you please review again and consider removing the flags? Thank you! (Wendyfables (talk) 17:40, 16 March 2010 (UTC))

(Wendyfables (talk) 16:59, 29 March 2010 (UTC) I've made additional changes to the document (cleaned up the LEED link issue) and removed several lists - please remove the flags or explain where the neutrality is compromised. Thank you in advance. Wendyfables (talk) 21:00, 29 March 2010 (UTC)


 * The main issue I see is that the article purports to be about the firm, but the bulk of the text is about the owner of the firm, so this appears to be more a biography. And the references are flawed:
 * The first is a link to Stephens bio on the firm's web site.
 * The second is ok, but insufficient to establish notability of Stephens, and doesn't mention the firm (which the article is about).
 * Third and Fourth are articles written by Stephens, but not about the firm--so these do not establish notability of either the author or the firm.
 * Fifth is ok, but very promotional in tone akin to a press release.
 * Sixth is a brochure for the award event, but doesn't mention SAA.
 * Seventh is ok, but just a website, and has limited weight
 * Eighth is a page listing years of Tilt Up Assc. awards, but SAA isn't listed there, it should be a more specific. Also, I note that Stephens is on the TCA board of directors, and that the awards are pretty narrow in scope.


 * What is needed here are some references that establish notability of the firm such as newspaper or magazine articles, and text about the firm's activities, rather than text about Stephens. Hope that helps. -- Nuujinn (talk) 15:13, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric
User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric

This is an article about Steiner Electric Company. There is not a page for them yet and I wanted them to be on Wikipedia since they are a well-known large company. This is my first time making a page on Wikipedia and wanted feedback. I also wanted to know how to make those boxes usually seen on the right hand side of company like pages on Wikipedia. Thanks! 3/16/2010 Lizzard388 (talk) 21:56, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
 * Not a horrid start, but needs significant work. I will try to comment here in more detail later. As for the box, look at infobox company. I hope this helps. DES (talk) 00:03, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, I tried to work on it more and I added a lot more references and made some links throughout and got my infobox created. If you get a chance to look at it again it would be much appreciated! Thanks. Lizzard388 (talk) 20:56, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Anna Margaret from Starstruck
Hi, I'd like some help on writing an article about Anna Margaret from the Disney original movie Starstruck. I need more info and sources so if you can please check out my userspace draft and if there's anything you think I should add, let me know.

Here is the link: User:JRsingersongwriter/Anna Margaret

JRsingersongwriter —Preceding unsigned comment added by JRsingersongwriter (talk • contribs) 02:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)


 * First of all, sorry to take so long to get back to you. The main problem you have is a lack of good references. Myspace pages and promotional material are not really reliable sources. What you need are newspaper or magazine articles, such as [|these]. Unfortunately, these are not enough, they only mention her in passing, and I think fail to establish her as a notable musician. Take a look at WP:NM for guidance on how to establish notability. Let me know on my talk page if you have any questions. -- Nuujinn (talk) 13:39, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Mogamma
I would like feedback on my article titled 'Mogamma'. Please check it out, any feedback will be helpful.

Thanks Maryam Negm (talk) 09:45, 25 March 2010 (UTC) 09:42, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness
Hello

I posted a request for feedback over a week ago (14:36, 16 March 2010 (UTC)). Since most of the requests posted after mine have been responded to, i can only assume that mine somehow got inadvertantly buried in the pile... so i am reposted my request here.. but leaving out the short bit of old comments which may have been mistaken for a response..

i would really appreciate some feedback...

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness is my first wiki article.

i've rewritten it in my user space as per suggestion of one of your editors (ukexpat) who moved much longer initial version of it out of Afd back to my userspace, suggesting that i "...take a look at the tone, construction and flow of articles on similar topics to see how they are written and structure this article similarly..."

I looked at several articles on related topics, and then settled on one which most closely paralleled what i am trying to achieve re giving useful information in my article.

the model article i used is the wiki article on Multiple Intelligences

my article is now virtually the same length as the M Int article, and this despite the M Int article covering ~25 years of soc sci research while mine re Greatness covers over 100 years. I collapsed my summaries of major books into a few short paragraphs each. (eg Cox's book is over 800 pages, Eysenck's is 350 and virtually inaccessible to the lay reader).

I also referenced everything. (except the one specific lulu ref – Dorris (2009) – which I need to get an ok to use as lulu in general is black listed…)

Can you tell me if the current version is ok to resubmit for consideration as wiki article? if not, any suggestions very much appreciated.

AgRince (talk) 16:09, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Billie Jean black sequin jacket
Hello, Please help by reviewing the following article, and provide feedback in order to improve the Billie Jean black sequin jacket page. User:DinhoGauch10/Billie Jean black sequin jacket DinhoGauch10 (talk) 19:29, 25 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Note for reviewers: A previous version of the article was deleted per this Afd discussion: Articles for deletion/Billie Jean black sequin jacket. – ukexpat (talk) 20:46, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

Jamie Moffett
Hello Everyone, This is my first article and I would appreciate some feedback. This article is about Philadelphia motion picture director Jamie Moffett.

Thank you for your help!!

User:Meghan T/Jamie Moffett

--Meghan T (talk) 21:14, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

globalvision
User:Mcjanus/GlobalVision_Communication: I created an article on the company providing the world's first VideoStreetView - that is StreetView in 360° immersive motion video. Please help me review it to ensure it is sufficiently documented and well written.

Mcjanus (talk) 09:54, 26 March 2010 (UTC) User:Mcjanus/ - 26.03.2010

User:kncipi/Institute for Private Investors
User:Kncipi/Institute for Private Investors

Hello,

I am writing to request feedback on a userspace draft that I have been working on and would like to create a new entry with. It is going to be on the Institute for Private Investors. If you could please offer feedback, that would be great.

Thanks,

Kncipi (talk) 18:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)


 * It is very spammy and would probably be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. – ukexpat (talk) 02:31, 27 March 2010 (UTC)


 * OK, thanks for the feedback. Would you mind giving me some advice as to what improvements would make it appropriate, or what should be deleted? Kncipi (talk) 17:47, 30 March 2010 (UTC)


 * It needs to be rewritten from a neutral point of view. Your user name suggests that you may be connected to the subject. If so, please read WP:COI - you are strongly advised not to create or edit articles where you have a COI. – ukexpat (talk) 17:52, 30 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Got it, thanks - I am not connected to the subject but see how it would seem so.Kncipi (talk) 18:21, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Apologies for jumping to conclusions! – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

That's ok - I appreciate your feedback!! Kncipi (talk) 20:51, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

National Church Residences Senior Housing
New article. Need to get some feedback please. User:Ncr09/Seniorhousing (Ncr09 (talk) 13:51, 27 March 2010 (UTC))


 * You left the same request at the Editor assistance requests page earlier this month and a reply was left for you there. Because you did not respond, the message thread was archived. You can find it at Editor assistance/Requests/Archive 72. As far as I can tell the same comments apply to the draft article now -- it does not demonstrate the notability of the subject per the guidelines at WP:ORG. – ukexpat (talk) 18:44, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

StartCom
New start for StartCom: User:Dtech/StartCom.

StartCom was deleted about 3 years ago because of too little notability and spam. The company has grown quite a bit since then and has gained an important unique role in ICT-security (read the page). Okay to add again? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dtech (talk • contribs) 14:03, 27 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but both references are blog entries and thus do not count as verifiable sources. Personally, I think that policy will need to undergo some revision in the near future, at least in terms of software, but for the time being, that's the rule. Can you find any sources in magazines? --Nuujinn (talk) 22:24, 27 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Maybe, but I'm not willing to go through my old stack of C'T magazines. I'll use the StartCom and Microsoft press releases instead (altough I opted for the blogs because they are much more neutral) -- Dtech (talk) 09:24, 28 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Press releases are not sufficient to demonstrate notability. Anyone can put out a press release which is then regurgitated by the business news wire services. You need non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources. – ukexpat (talk) 17:37, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Rachel's Organics
Rachel's Organics This article is about a Welsh dairy company who became the UK's first certified organic dairy. Thank you for your help in improving this article. --Rachel Aberystwyth (talk) 10:30, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
 * Please read Conflict of interest
 * The article needs more independent sources. There are some write ups in the press it looks like from a Google News Search. See WP:SOURCES. A major concern is complete paragraphs and even a section without sources.
 * The article reads like a press release or company website.The tone needs to be more neutral. You can do this by including more info such as the reasoning behind dropping "Organics". More data on market presence or some other aspects related to the business and products (not award related) would help.
 * You do not need two spaces in between paragraphs
 * The Coolbrand link does not work.
 * There are not enough links in the article to others and more need to come in. See WP:LINKS
 * The references and external link need to be properly formatted. See WP:CITEHOW and WP:EL
 * Other touch-ups include adding categories and maybe an infobox.Cptnono (talk) 11:07, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

Data Scientist
Data Scientist User:Hofftodd/Data Scientist

Todd Hoff Hofftodd (talk) 22:14, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

E3 Style
Hi there, I have had this page deleted for the following reasons. This page has been deleted. The deletion and move log for the page are provided below for reference.

03:20, 29 March 2010 NawlinWiki (talk | contribs) deleted "E3! Style" ‎ (A7: No explanation of the subject's significance (real person, animal, organization, or web content))

I created this page as it is as relevant as say dick smith, or Big W. After all you only need to see the recognition and references to see its relevance and acolades.

Can someone please tell me why this was deleted. I used article wizard to create it so have no idea what I've done wrong. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Tamarax163 (talk • contribs) 06:18, 30 March 2010 (UTC)


 * It was deleted for the reasons stated in the notice on your talk page. Wikipedia has inclusion criteria based on notability, not "relevance" and for companies this is explained further by the guidelines at WP:CORP. In order to avoid speedy deletion, an article has, at the minimum, to make some claim as to importance or significance of its subject. Obviously the original did not do that otherwise it would not have been deleted. NawlinWiki is a very experienced admin and would not have deleted the article lightly. Now, to the current version: yes it claims notability and has some sources to support that, but at the moment it reads as promotional in tone (even if that was not your intention) and needs to be toned down to a more neutral point of view. NB - using the article wizard is no guarantee that an article will not be deleted, it's just a process to help in creation. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:15, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Dr.Anadalakshmy Versus Government of India, CBSE
User:Lynchtribe/Dr.Anadalakshmy Versus Government of India, CBSE

This is an article regarding a controversial practice in leading educational institutions in India, which has since been outlawed by the Supreme Court of India, as well as the High Court of Madras, Chennai, India.

The legal clauses have been quoted from a transcript of the court hearing, I believe this is from a public information website and is hence not copyright. Another quote is taken from a news website, and I am unsure if this would be breaching copyright restrictions.

I believe that this article is important and encyclopedic in nature as it outlines an important controversy in Indian Education and the court case connected to this.

Any inputs on this page would be much appreciated. This is my first attempt at contributing to wikipedia, I have never found an article I was looking for unavailable here thusfar, and have hence never felt the necessity to create a page myself!

Thanks!! lynchtribe Lynchtribe (talk) 09:33, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Universal Syncopations
User:Hewins/Universal Syncopations

I created an album page for "Universal Syncopations." I based it on the article for Extrapolation by John McLaughlin.

This is the first article I have created. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks, Dan

Dan Hewins (talk) 14:53, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Barbara L. Kellerman
Dear Wikipedia editors:

I would appreciate it if you could review the following page for Professor Barbara L. Kelleman.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_L._Kellerman

Professor Kellerman is a Professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and this page is about her career and work.

Any and all input is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Mike --128.103.18.145 (talk) 16:34, 30 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Please make sure you are signed in when you edit, I am guessing you are User:Mikeleveriza. I have tagged the article for speedy deletion as a copyright violation of http://www.hks.harvard.edu/fs/bkeller/bkellbio.htm and http://www.hks.harvard.edu/about/faculty-staff-directory/barbara-kellerman - both pages bear a copyright notice. Wikipedia cannot accept copyrighted materials. – ukexpat (talk) 17:24, 30 March 2010 (UTC)


 * OK the copyvio stuff has been cleaned up (but some of the remaining text does look a little too close to the above websites for my liking). The main problem is references to support notability. It is pretty clear that she is notable, now you need to cite significant non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources. – ukexpat (talk) 18:05, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Joe Hoeffel
Hi,

I'm responsible (as in a paid employee of the candidate) for editing the wikipedia entry for Joe Hoeffel, a candidate for the Democratic nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania.

I think I'm doing well with NPOV and citing sources, but I'm not clear what would be too "promotional." Is it legit to post a list of the candidates' positions on a dozen major political issues? (I see other politician pages that do so). Is it legit to say he has positioned himself as the socially progressive or liberal candidate in the field if I can cite multiple major newspapers saying the same thing? Or is that out of bounds and I should stick to dryer facts like "is running for Governor."?

Thanks in advance for any feedback you more experienced editors can give!

JoeHoeffel (talk) 20:07, 30 March 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi, I gave you some information regarding editing with a conflict of interest at your talk page. For the questions you are asking here, it is best to look at some of our other articles on politicians to get a feel of what is a neutral point of view and what is not.  You may post a candidate's positions on the issues, but they should be well cited from reliable sources and they should be worded with neutral terminology. Barack Obama social policy is a well-cited article that explains the politician's political views without bias; this would be a good model to use when explaining Hoeffel's views. It is best to include, if possible, both verbal/written statements on an issue and how a candidate has actually voted on legislation dealing with the particular issue. A mixture of secondary sources along with primary sources is also preferable. If major newspapers are making a statement about his politics you can add it to his article (unless they disagree; then the article should cover that disagreement) and then cite the newspapers.  It is best to word statements such as "he has been described as a social progressive by the Patriot News" rather than "He is a social progressive", because our articles shouldn't make direct statements of opinion in fuzzy areas such as this. I hope this helps,   Them  From  Space  21:45, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

DePaul University's Coleman Entrepreneurship Center
User:Becca Berkenstadt/DePaul University's Coleman Entrepreneurship Center —Preceding unsigned comment added by Becca Berkenstadt (talk • contribs) 22:30, 30 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Well, a good start, but as you no doubt know, the article is too promotional. Some suggestions:
 * The first reference, for DePaul, doesn't need to be a reference. Generally speaking, a wikilink is quite sufficient.
 * The tone is very promotional, it really should be toned down. For example, I don't think the "become a member" link is a good reference. Phrases such as "Blueprint provides current DePaul students the support and encouragement they need to successfully launch and grow" sound as if they are from a promotion brochure, and wikipedia is not intended as advertising space.
 * Rather than putting in external links such as the one to the Coleman center and Dr. Welsch, can you instead find an online reference that verifies the grant or the founder, and provide a citation to that?
 * I suggest looking at the Citation_templates for samples of better ways to format citations from newspapers and magazines.
 * Hope this helps, --Nuujinn (talk) 18:15, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Dear Nuujinn,

Thank you for your insights. I will be sure to take them into account. You are very helpful.

Becca Berkenstadt (talk) 19:21, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Xiaopeng Rick Niu
Xiaopeng Rick Niu Nanluoguxiang (talk) 01:38, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Please kindly help review this Wikipedia page about Mr. Niu. Thank you very much for your time. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nanluoguxiang (talk • contribs) 01:41, 31 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Please take a look at WP:BIO - the subject of the article does not appear to be notable as Wikipedia defines that term, and therefore does not meet the inclusion criteria. – ukexpat (talk) 18:36, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Proactive policing
Hello, i have written a draft article on proactive policing which is here. Any feedback would be very much appreciated. Thank you YouAndMeBabyAintNothingButCamels (talk) 05:51, 31 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I don't know if this is, strictly speaking, a WP:POVFORK of Preventive police. However, it does seem to be mostly from one point of view.  Yaris678 (talk) 10:34, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Kevin Warren Sloan
I am requesting feedback on User:Houstongal82/ Kevin Warren Sloan in order to move my userspace.

Houstongal82 (talk) 14:49, 31 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I think this is a very good start. You have some references, but could use some more, the standards are pretty high for biographies. I'd suggest losing the word "notable" in the first sentence--that's an opinion, really. Also, see if you can work on the lead--start with 1-3 lines of summary text, and then go into the article. I'd suggest as a start just to use the first sentence as the lead.
 * I am not sure what the purpose of the About KWS and Projects section is, if those sources contain data on his work, then it would be good to document that information in the article and provide inline citations.
 * The prose needs some work, but that can come with time.... --Nuujinn (talk) 18:02, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback - it was incredibly helpful! I'll make these changes and request feedback one more time before I request a move.


 * Houstongal82 (talk) 19:57, 5 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I have made a few minor formatting changes - headings per WP:MOSHEAD; hiding the categories while it's in user space. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Steven Fox, Classical Music Conductor
User:Ultrageist/Steven Fox Hello, I'm new and this is my first article for Wikipedia. I was wondering if I could get a feedback for the page created on Steven Fox. He is a respected classical music conductor here in New York. He also has a group perform with Baroque era instruments (reproductions). I might have some mistake here or there so any feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks so much

Ultrageist (talk) 16:30, 31 March 2010 (UTC)


 * The main thing this article needs are verifiable references to establish notability. You have a couple of decent references in the Notes section, I'd suggest converting those to inline citations. Search in Google news for more references, I'm sure you can find some. The biography and career sections both need some citations. --Nuujinn (talk) 17:51, 4 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you so much for the feedback. I will spend some time googling and make some edits.

Ultrageist (talk) 06:32, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Philippa Hobbs
Philippa Hobbs

Philippa is a South African artist, author and curator. She has contributed to art development through the management of various generous art budgets, by writing educational supplements and by touring the MTN Art Foundation's large collection around the country. Hobbs is in the process of completing her 5th and 6th art book. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 41.247.119.244 (talk) 20:56, 31 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I assume you are User:Annasor963? Please make sure you are signed in when editing. Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 21:24, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

User:BSapp/Enter your new article name here
User:BSapp/Enter your new article name here

BSapp (talk) 21:28, 31 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Most of the article is a copy and paste copyright violation of http://www.groovemaker.com/about/ . Copyvios are not permitted, even in userspace, so I have had to tag it for speedy deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 21:35, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

Beachcomber Hotels
Beachcomber Hotels

Hi, I've just modified my article. Adding some internal and external links to it and some more text as well. Can someone tell if either the article is ok or not plz and when are both of the top banner are going to be removed?

Thanks

Webbchot (talk) 05:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * At the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and I have tagged it for speedy deletion as such. Phrases like "recognized as the pioneer and leader of the Mauritian hotel industry," and "providing the best in the choice of hospitality and quality of service in the Indian Ocean region" are Spam 101. – ukexpat (talk) 18:14, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Speedily deleted for a fourth time: (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion). – ukexpat (talk) 20:49, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Scottish Slimmers revisited
Scottish SlimmersThis page has been rewritten as I have a conflict of interest. Feedback would be welcome. Yvette Rayner Yvetterayner (talk) 13:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * As you already know, speedily deleted again: ‎ (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion: A7: Article about a company, corporation, organization, or group, which does not indicate the importance or significance of the subject). – ukexpat (talk) 14:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Deberam/Michelle_Farmer_Jewelry
User:Deberam/Michelle_Farmer_Jewelry

This article is about noted jewelry designer Michelle Farmer and some of her one-of-a-kind jewelry collections such as Pearls and Leather.

Deberam (talk) 14:39, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The article as it currently stands is not ready for moving to the mainspace. It currently only has a reference to the website of Michelle Farmer Jewelry.  You would need to add reliable sources so the information in the article can be independently verified.  On top of that the article is written like an advertisement.  It does not objectively discuss the company.  The prose would need to be completely rewritten before it is ready for the mainspace.   GB fan  talk 14:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Although there is some leeway in user space, this is borderline speedily deletable. – ukexpat (talk) 19:38, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * And has now been deleted. – ukexpat (talk) 20:47, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

winter evening & warmth, limited edition
Not what this page is for  GB fan  talk 15:32, 30 April 2010 (UTC) I bought every can of this I could find in my area, and then all of a sudden it was gone and 2-3 more scents popped up. Why was this limited? It's probably the best you've ever had and I'd like to find out how to get more. I don't even like the new ones. This was the best ever and you should know that according to how fast it sold out. Thanks, Beverly Stark, RN —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.187.9.74 (talk) 15:33, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello. I suspect, based on your question, that you found one of our roughly three million articles, and thought that we were directly affiliated in some way with that subject. Please note that you are at Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, and this page is a help desk for review of new and draft articles. Thus, we have no inside track on the subject of your question. You can, however, search our vast catalogue of articles by typing a subject into the search field on the left hand side of your screen. If you cannot find what you are looking for, we have a reference desk, divided into various subject areas, where asking knowledge questions is welcome. Best of luck. – ukexpat (talk) 17:45, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Wales Live
Wales Live

Hi there,

Just looking any feedback on Wales Live wiki page....

Thanks a mil, Sarah

(1 April 2010). —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarah McCaffrey (talk • contribs) 16:00, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * At the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and I have tagged it for speedy deletion as such. The fact that it is written in the first person is a bit of a giveaway of its promotional intent. Are you by any chance connected with the company? If so please read WP:COI. Even if the promotional stuff can be edited out, it is unlikely (at the moment at least) to meet Wikipedia's notability guidelines at WP:CORP -- most things that are "...soon to be the..." are unlikely to have had the required non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources to meet the inclusion criteria. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 17:43, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Speedily deleted: ‎ (G11: Unambiguous advertising or promotion). – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Dave Lange
User:GeraldRice/Dave Lange

I'm looking to be sure my article on graphic designer Dave Lange is formatted correctly. Any help is appreciated. GeraldRice (talk) 19:30, 1 April 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by GeraldRice (talk • contribs) 19:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
 * There's nothing there to hint that he is in any way notable enough to have an article about him in an encyclopedia. If it were to appear as a new article, I'd speedily delete it as lacking either evidence or credible assertion of notability. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  20:07, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Vision Care for Homeless People
Vision Care for Homeless People Caring optician (talk) 21:01, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It is a decent start, but is a bit rough. Some suggestions:


 * Cut back on the external references, they are all pretty similar and don't help establish notability.
 * Consider swapping the positions of the operations and history sections, I think it will read better.
 * The tone is a bit like a press release or ad, can you make the tone more neutral?
 * You need verifiable references to establish WP:N. Can you find some newspaper or other new articles? Is there any BBC coverage?

Hope that helps, feel free to contact me if you need help or have additional questions. --Nuujinn (talk) 17:41, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Romex Cable
Hello! I am a new contributor and long-time reader of Wikipedia. I've decided it's time I become a more active participant. I've started by creating this simple article User:Ninjashoes/Romex_Cable which I hope to move to the main space. Please let me know if this page is a good candidate and how it can be improved. There is a disambiguation page for Romex, but no further description of the item itself. Thanks :) Ninjashoes (talk) 21:13, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Seems like it's my day for being blunt - at the moment it is an advertisement masquerading as an article in breach of WP:SPAM, and will almost certainly be speedily deleted if moved to the mainspace in its current form. It is probably a notable product per WP:PRODUCT but it will need to be substantially rewritten with cited references to substantial coverage in multiple independent reliable sources. – ukexpat (talk) 21:15, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Yeah, that one falls under one of the things Wikipedia is not: a product directory or buyers guide. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  21:28, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * As the most commonly used wiring in buildings I though it notable enough to have it's own page per WP:PRODUCT. Perhaps I should make it more like this about.com description of Romex? And locate better/more references? Ninjashoes (talk) 21:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Not necessarily like about.com, just an encyclopedic article written from a neutral point of view. And yes, you will need independent sources to demonstrate notability. – ukexpat (talk) 21:37, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Baggataway (manga) - New Wikipedia contributor here seeking useful advice
Hello Everyone. I am here to seek advice for the article: Baggataway (manga). It is an article relating to a Japanese comic. Among advices that I most wished to hear include Correctness in citation, Notability, and English style, but please feel free to tell me whatever come to your mind.

There is specific detail content - like further information of the characters - that I can possibly add, but I feel I should not spoil the original work too much. Thank you very much Scchan (talk) 03:21, 2 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I see that it's been marked for deletion--if it is deleted, do request that it be moved to your userspace for further work. One thing that I think needs doing is to provide english translations of the cited non-english sources, as per References. Manga's not my thing, so I'm afraid I can't be too much help vis a vis content. --Nuujinn (talk) 16:50, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for your input. I agree with you are correct that at least some sort of summary is needed for foreign language information. I like your input being specific and clear. Depending on the outcome of the delete process, I will make sure that be added to that page. I also work on Meteorology and Atmospheric Science pages; for those, I have no worry about foreign language (it is actually quite interesting that the big foreign journals in my field are actually all English). Scchan (talk) 19:58, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Do you think endorsements and reviews from independent professionals help the notability of it? I actually find out the work is actually endorsed by award winning creator who publishes in different publishers, and added that to the page. And somehow the work is also now listed under Lacrosse category, so I hope someone from Lacrosse group in here will say something. Scchan (talk) 21:27, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Not Safe For Vampires
Not Safe For Vampires [] —Preceding unsigned comment added by RichyDzeta (talk • contribs) 07:12, 2 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The page doesn't demonstrate the notability of the book. If you were to move it to the mainspace now, it would be deleted. This is to say that a book does not get an article on Wikipedia simply because it exists. It is required to show that multiple reliable sources have covered the book in depth. This would include reviews from such sources as the New York Times and other newspapers, magazines, and other publications, including web-publications. The author's own website, as well as any website selling the book, do not demonstrate notability. Someguy1221 (talk) 07:21, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Philippa Hobbs 2
Philippa Hobbs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippa_Hobbs

Philippa Hobbs is an author and art historian in South Africa. I would like some advice as to how the subheadings of the articles should be ordered, what biographical personal information is necessary (such as family etc.) and whether her current projects - incomplete books - should be discussed.

Annasor963 (talk) 07:57, 2 April 2010 (UTC)


 * You have already made a request above - please be patient, we are all volunteers here. – ukexpat (talk) 21:17, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Antonin Raymond Architect
I have substantially expanded this article on Antonin Raymond and would be grateful if someone could read it through and rate it. On the discussion page the previous author had added a Biography template, and I added Japan and Architecture one because I thought they were appropriate. Kenchikuben (talk) 13:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)
 * This page has now had a peer review and no longer needs feedback here. Thanks Kenchikuben (talk) 05:47, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Penfold77/Loch_Long
User:Penfold77/Loch_Long This is my write up for a class of wooden sailing boat. Looking for feedback/reassurance as to whether it's ready for going live, it's my first wiki page. Cheers. Penfold77 (talk) 19:29, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

War in Darfur
A new section was recently added to War in Darfur. The new content is extremely biased but contains some ideas worth mentioning and has been superseded by 50+ comments. The article receives little attention but desperately needs some. I've posted a comment on its talk page looking for solutions. It needs feedback. What should we do? dm yers t urnbull  ⇒ talk 20:02, 2 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The article's talk page is the place to discuss content issues. This page is really for requests for feedback on new articles or drafts of articles. – ukexpat (talk) 21:21, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

David Weir (writer)
Any feedback or reviews appreciated! David Weir (writer) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Weir_(writer) Thanks! Fiona Weir Talk


 * I see that you've already gotten some feedback from Orangemike. I think the article is sparse and needs some fleshing out, but the tone is pretty neutral. What you really need tho are some 2nd party reliable sources to establish your dad's notability--the best thing would be if you could find references in newspapers or magazines. The Radio Times interview would be a good one to use--see WP:CITE for some information on how to cite sources. Such sources are key to a biographical article's survival.... --Nuujinn (talk) 20:14, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

That's useful, thanks very much! I'll look for some more sources. I'm kind of hoping other people will flesh out the article, since I know I'm on thin ice doing it myself, due to (real or perceived) COI! Fiona Weir (talk) 14:56, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Review of a user-created book
Hi there. Could anyone please see if User:Buggie111/Books/The Atlanta Campaign is ready for the Book: space? I'd like to know if it it's ready to be sent out. Cheers, Buggie111 (talk) 21:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)


 * This is a first - we haven't been asked to give feedback on a UCB before. I have only had peripheral contact with the project. Maybe you would get a better response at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Wikipedia-Books? Oops, that was me, signing now. . – ukexpat (talk) 19:34, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

S'Quarrels
User:TBGF/S'Quarrels TBGF (talk) 05:53, 3 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The article itself looks good. Although the subject, with it being a fairly new game, recently created in 2007, it's notability may not be as established as some older more well-known games. It would help to assert notability: what makes this card game important or worthy of an encyclopedic article? A wider variety of references may help. See WP:GNG for further information. -- &oelig; &trade; 16:13, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Digital Group Audio
We are a a group of business students from Cal State San Marcos working with a company for our senior project and one of our tasks was to create a Wikipedia page for them. We are fairly new at this and any feedback you may be able to give us would help out a lot. Thank you for your time. Once again the article was Digital Group Audio.

Thank you,

Opmongooseegg (talk) 20:03, 3 April 2010 (UTC)Senior Experience Team, April 3, 2010


 * A couple of major problems: first, the article is very spammy, so much so that I have tagged it for speedy deletion. Second, the subject's notability is dubious - please take a look at the guidelines at WP:CORP - even if it survives speedy deletion you will need to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple independent reliable sources to demonstrate notability. Final point for now, sharing a user account is not permitted by the user name policy. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 21:13, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

KaisKids Cambodia
User:Herriottj/KaisKids, Cambodia

This is the first article I have ever written for Wiki. I welcome feedback on whether it has been written correctly and follows the editorial guidelines?

Kind regards Jill Herriott Herriottj (talk) 12:22, 5 April 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Herriottj (talk • contribs) 04:36, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The language is far too promotional, and you have provided no evidence of notability. Sorry, but Wikipedia's purpose is not to give publicity to worthy causes.-- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  17:20, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Just hear it
Just hear it

This is an article about a music service I found online. I found a lot of sources, but would like for someone to check it for me, if possible. Thank you!

Ericcartmenez (talk) 18:38, 4 April 2010 (UTC) Ericcartmenez 04/04/2010

Infotech Enterprises
Infotech Enterprises

Mariah 2010 (talk) 04:12, 5 April 2010 (UTC) Maria H 05/04/2010
 * That did not read like an article, it read like an advertisement. I cleared all the spammy junk out, and almost nothing was left. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  13:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

I do not understand why this is happening. We are trying to create a profile for a company that is well known, well established. I see that you have been deleting everything. I do not know if there is something that we may have violated. If so, I think, you should let us know the appropriate links, that helps us get facts straight and improvise upon our work. However, I see that there is an element of pride in deleting, and announcing, NOTHING WAS LEFT. Would it not be so obliging if you as an admin showed us the path, rather than showing, how you could just undo all that we did. We are neither spammers, neither junk, we are genuine, and want to be a part, if you could let that happen. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 117.195.194.123 (talk) 15:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Who is this "we" that leaves an unsigned message? I take no pride in deleting other people's work, but I do feel a certain satisfaction in removing advertisements. Encyclopedia articles do not include language like, "recognized as a leading geospatial (GIS) services provider offering end-to-end geospatial solutions" (if there is one word which marks modern corporate spam, it is the abuse and misuse of the word "solution" in this smarmy manner) and "enjoys equity participation from globally reputed investors". -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  15:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, forgot to sign in, like I said, we are new to this. For us users, any little definition or information that we look for, the first thing that we google is topic+wiki. The reason is simple, we think that they(wiki) will have accurate information. Well Infotech Enterprises is a company based in Hyderabad, and we do not have a wiki page. Yes, we are not here to advertise, else, we would not have our website, or spend so much on our ICM. We are here since we would also like to be known for what we are. We have not developed wiki pages, and do not understand the criteria that needs to be followed. I would be deeply obliged, if you could let me know what it takes to write a corporate profile about a company. What are the kind of citations you look forward for? What are the external links you look forward for? I have seen the corporate profile of Microsoft Corporation, and we are trying to develop something on the same lines. Ofcourse, we still have a long way to go, but our work is increased, when admins delete our work, instead of probably just letting us know where we lack,and how it has to be corrected. I will try and develop more content over the next couple of days, and request you to let me know where I do not follow guidelines, rather than deleting my work.

Thanks

Mariah 2010 (talk) 16:18, 6 April 2010 (UTC) Maria


 * A few things: Who are "we"? If you are sharing an account, that is not permitted by the user name policy; You appear to be connected with this organization so please read WP:COI - you are strongly discouraged from editing or creating articles where you have a COI; Now that the spam has been removed, there is nothing to indicate how or why this company meets Wikipedia's inclusion criteria for companies set out at WP:CORP; I can understand your frustration, but we have inclusion criteria and policies and we have to uphold them. You would be better off creating the article in you user space at User:Mariah 2010/Infotech Enterprises where you can work on it at your own pace before asking for it to be reviewed again. The Article creation wizard can help you do this. But please note, Wikipedia is not a directory or free webhost and only a very small percentage of all the companies out there meet the notability criteria. There are other outlets such as WikiCompany that have no inclusion criteria. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:42, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Josemariasaldana/ICST
ICST User:Josemariasaldana/ICST

I'd like to know if this article can be published. It is about an international organization that organizes international ICT conferences and publications.

Thank you

--Josemariasaldana (talk) 13:00, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Accrediting Commission for Community and Junior Colleges
Hi, I'm requesting feedback on this article, User:4117Ashford/Accrediting_Commission_for_Community_and_Junior_Colleges. I want the article to be helpful to academics and non-academics alike who want to know the nature and significance of this commission's accreditation process. I use six different sources, four of them third-party. Much of the description of the process I derive from ACCJC materials because it is the authority on policies and procedures. Thanks very much. 4117Ashford (talk) 15:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Timeshare Relief, INC.
Requesting feedback on new Wiki page. What can I do to improve the quality and value of the entry. Thanks?

Timeshare Relief, INC. Mytwocents02 (talk) 17:41, 5 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It is very spammy in tone, so much so that I have tagged it for speedy deletion. – ukexpat (talk) 19:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

What can I do make it sound less spammy? That wasn't my intention at all. There are other timeshare companies on Wikipedia, and I actually tried following their model and templates even, like Group RCI and Wyndham Vacation Resorts. How did those entries stick? Is it because they have very little info in them? thanks Mytwocents02 (talk) 21:54, 5 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The first question to ask is why are you writing the article in the first place? If you are associated with the company, you will very likely not be able to write a good article on it, see WP:COI. Links to the firm's web site are not good references, a good start would be to eliminate those. Also, I'd suggest you request that the article be moved to your userspace if your motives are pure. --Nuujinn (talk) 22:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It did not read like an article, it read like an advertisement. Any "article" which describes the subject as selling "solutions" is going to be flagged as an advertisement, unless the subject is Sigma-Aldrich and the solutions sold are gram-molar ionic salts in aqueous solution. Other obvious spammy bits included the persistent use of first names, the cozy tone, the repeated insertion of ™ marks... I could go on and on.-- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  13:48, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

How do I move it back to my userspace so I can fix it. I also realized that I failed to mention some critical controversies that may make this article more notable.Mytwocents02 (talk) 17:35, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Glenn Gissler
Hi, I'm trying to post an article on interior designer Glenn Gissler (should be either User:Misterajp/glenn gissler or Glenn Gissler. This is my first article for wikipedia - I've been very careful about making sure the subject is notable and has appropriate sources, but i'm getting very confused/overwhelmed by the protocol of actually posting.  Any help would be much appreciated - thank you so much! Misterajp (talk) 21:20, 5 April 2010 (UTC) MisterAJP April 5, 2010


 * I think the subject probably meets the notability guidelines set out and WP:BIO and WP:ARTIST, but the references need some work. At the moment they just point to the main pages of the journals, so it is impossible for a reader to verify that the source actually says what is claimed. You should cite the sources using the Cite journal template, filling in as much of the relevant data as possible. There are also a few layout issues: the article should be broken up into section for ease of reading (see WP:LAYOUT and WP:MOSBIO); I corrected a couple of other formatting issues and fixed some broken Wikilinks. I would advise that the draft not be moved into mainspace just yet - at least not until the references are more detailed. If you need help adding the Cite journal template, let me know and I will try to help. – ukexpat (talk) 15:17, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Aberdeen Bach Choir
Could someone please have a quick review of this short article. It also has a couple of discussion topics/ideas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rhymester/Aberdeen_Bach_Choir

--Rhymester (talk) 22:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Other than some minor style issues, it looks good. You may want to add more independant third-party sources to help assert notability. -- &oelig; &trade; 04:53, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Saeb Eigner
Hello, I have created the following article for a friend but would like to hear any comments as this is the first article I have ever created. Thank you

Saeb Eigner - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Seigner/Saeb_Eigner#External_links Seigner (talk) 08:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Nothing there to indicate why the guy is notable enough to have an entry in an encyclopedia. Also: please be aware of our rules about conflict of interest, which would strongly suggest that you should not be writing about a friend or client. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  13:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Adeyer Sportif
The Adeyer Sportif is a rare Australian car that many have heard of but few know details about. This article will be, as far as i am able to determine, pretty much the only online information available at this time. Too many forums have misinformation from unreliable sources regarding this vehicle. Ignatzmax (talk) 14:13, 6 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It is a bit of a rough start. The tone is very conversational and needs to be reworked to a more neutral tone. But you need to work first on the references. I realize it may be counter-intuitive, but the car in your driveway does not count as a reference. The Wheels magazine you mention would be a good start, but you'll need to fill out the citation with the author, name of article, page numbers, etc. See the article on inline citations for a simple example. If you need more help, ask here or on my talk page, hope that helps, --Nuujinn (talk) 19:58, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Ignatzmax/Adeyer Sportif Too much like hard work so Im not going to bother with it then. The ONLY information i have EVER found in the last 5 or so years of looking, is in the one copy of wheels magazine that i found by accident. Since there is no more info anywhere else, the subject and car will die and fade into obscurity. I dont have time or the inclination to make information about a rare car sound more like a checklist. The info i posted was reworked from the magazine and what they did was suitable for the general public, so delete, erase, dispose of or do whatever to this information cos its fine to me. I dont really care. Ignatzmax (talk) 13:44, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Modulor
Although I have kept most of the original text, I have expanded this article on Modulor to include inline citations and references. I have amended the examples given, replacing those that did not include citations with those that do. I would be grateful if someone could read the article through and rate it. Kenchikuben (talk) 15:19, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Elena Miscodan
Elena Miscodan User:DianaTocu/Elena_Miscodan DianaTocu (talk) 17:07, 7 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Please take a look at the notability guidelines for living people set out at WP:BIO. You will have to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources independent of the subject. Also take a look at WP:BLP1E, it's going to be hard to argue that this anything other than one event. – ukexpat (talk) 18:45, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Mikemahalo/Human Design
User:Mikemahalo/Human_Design

This is my first attempt at an article. There was a previous article named Human Design System that was deleted, I have since found out that was sponsored by the originator and had problems with bias and commercial interest, and possibly copyright. http://deletionpedia.dbatley.com/w/index.php?title=Human_Design_System  And this is WHY it was deleted  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Human_Design_System

I wrote my first version here on my own blog www.humandesignblog.com - http://mikemahalo.vox.com/library/post/ideas-for-wikipedia-article-on-human-design.html

however clearly wikipedia needs a different style so I started again with references, and left out most of the content.

The most obvious reference is not allowed, the personal Facebook of Ra Uru Hu, so I had to think, what references are verifiable, and the remaining facts were just that this exists, over here, you can look, it claims this and that, and there are so many websites and online communities, and now an independent book.

I would like to include more details of WHAT Human Design says, but these are not within wiki style, as far as I can see, and most of my first attempt and that of the deleted entry are not suitable, perhaps. Mikemahalo (talk) 09:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Well, I think the biggest problem you have at this point is a lack of verifiable and reliable sources. The BBC page is the closest, but I believe that's essentially a forum (since it seems that anyone can sign up and start a conversation). Without good sources, I do not think this article would remain in mainspace for very long. --Nuujinn (talk) 19:48, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your comment Nuujinn. I believe the fact that Harper Collins have published the first independent book on Human Design is the new key that establishes Human Design on the wikipedia map. I just realised, it is not only the birth day, but the solar birth hour of the originator of Human Design, Ra Uru Hu. By coincidence, the moon is in a place that gives me unusual confidence and energy, to succeed where others fail, and my mood, you understand, is carpe diem. I am posting in mainspace and ready with my water pistol to defend my baby..

Mikemahalo (talk) 02:15, 9 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Best of luck, but do keep in mind that once in mainspace, she's not your baby any more. My motto is carpe carp, and it's rather wet out tonight, so perhaps fortune smiles upon you! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nuujinn (talk • contribs) 03:22, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

thanks -   thank you   -  merci    ....    mercy!! Mikemahalo (talk) 12:04, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Hungary-Slovakia relations
Hungary–Slovakia_relations

There seems to be a disagreement over which version of the article is better. The new one is significantly shorter, but that is due to a large amount of unnecessary info included in the previous version. Any opinions welcome.

A vote section I created.

The versions in question

1. - longer version

2. - the new, shortened one

diff:

Wladthemlat (talk) 13:52, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
 * This is not the place for content disputes, you should probably take this to WP:THIRD. Thanks. - Reconsider  !  04:08, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Boraginaceae page display problem
on page subject BORAGINACEAE the list of genera is partly covered by a photograph. I have not seen this before. Is it a page problem or a problem with my (work) PC, which displays other pages properly? As it stands, I cannot check the list of genera, (though there are other sources of the data), which spoils the page. - js.Boraginaceae —Preceding unsigned comment added by 137.108.145.10 (talk) 14:58, 8 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Please ask your question at the Help Desk or the Village Pump. This page is for requesting review of new articles or drafts of articles. Thanks. – ukexpat (talk) 15:21, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Feedback - European Educational Exchanges-Youth for Understanding
Hi,

A few weeks ago I created a new page on Wikipedia for the organisation that I work for. It still has not been reviewd and as such still has the tag at the top of the page. Please can someone review it so that the tag can be removed. The name of the page is: European Educational Exchanges-Youth for Understanding (EEE-YFU).

Many thanks,

EEE-YFU —Preceding unsigned comment added by 217.136.253.131 (talk) 16:35, 8 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Please make sure you are logged-in when you edit! First, please read WP:COI - you are strongly discouraged from creating or editing articles where you have a conflict of interest. Second, the article contains no references to demonstrate how or why the organization is notable per the guidelines at WP:ORG - you need to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple sources independent of the subject. Third, the article is very promotional in tone and will have to be toned down. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:55, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Jamie McCartney
User:Vitaled/Jamie McCartney

Jamie McCartney is sn artist and sculptor living and working in Brighton. He has achieved notoriety through his sculptures created form casts of the human body. His latest work 'The Great Wall of Vagina' is due to be finished this month.

Vitaled (talk) 20:38, 8 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The subject appears to meet the notability guidelines at WP:BIO and WP:ARTIST. However, the article is rather promotional in tone and full of peacock terms and other hyperbole that will have to be toned down, in particular the "recognition" section is unnecessary. There are also some formatting issues: you should use the Cite web and Cite news templates for your references rather than bare URLs; the lists should be formatted as bulleted lists by putting a * at the beginning of each line; you only need one empty line between paragraphs; you should not link to any page on his website except the main page and generally the list of external links is way too long, see WP:ELNO. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:51, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Himalayan Cataract Project
I could use your help in making this labor of love Himalayan Cataract Project a more compliant Wikipedia article. I need help with links, style, edits, and general flow. We hope that this article will not be removed for minor technicalities. Your input is greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Salwa and Anya Kayguarnay (talk) 21:53, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sergiosbox/Stockholm_Lisboa_Project
Hello,

I just created my first article about a Swedeish/Portuguese music group. Because I'm not used to Wiki I would apreciate some input before I think about submiting it as a mainspace article.

Thank you for any help! Sérgio Crisóstomo —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sergiosbox (talk • contribs) 07:45, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi Sergio, thanks for contributing to Wikipedia. This is not a bad start, however it is important that you provide reliable third party references to substantiate the content of the article. If you're unsure, please take a look at this and WP:RS for more details. All the best, - Reconsider !  11:47, 11 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the input! I added 3 references that are "factual" and give a proof of what I wrote. They don't add new information, just add detail/proof to it. I supose that was your suggestion. Am I far from "safely" suggesting it to the mainspace?

Meanwhile how do I answer to your comment? like I did, just add ":" on the page and "write"?

Thank you again!, Sergiosbox (talk) 19:50, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Iman Shumpert
Iman Shumpert: Basketball player for Georgia Tech, currently playing in 2010 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Guru120/Iman_Shumpert --Guru120 (talk) 16:46, 21 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Please use inline references.

  Click "show" to learn how to properly cite sources using footnotes. A "source", also called a "reference", should generally be "cited" using footnotes. Wikipedia uses a special feature to automatically generate footnotes with the help of two "tags",  and. Anything placed between the two tags will generate a footnote, which appears in the text as [1]. This method of using "inline citations" is useful because it allows the reader to easily see which source supports which statement. To cite a source using this method, you need two parts:
 * The two tags:
 * A "References" section at the end of the article with the code, which is able to generate a list of footnotes based on what is placed between the two tags:

National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)
User talk:Aerialfirefan/National Aerial Firefighting Centre (NAFC)

Aerialfirefan (talk) 05:37, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Hi this is my first article. Can you please give me some feedback. Thanks!!! Aerialfirefan (talk) 07:31, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

NPPL (UK National Private Pilots License)
A new page for the National Private Pilots License (NPPL) User:Mobilesense/National_Private_Pilot_Licence

It's my first new page on Wikipedia, so be gentle ;)

It is intended that this be linked from the existing and extremely comprehensive page on Pilot_licensing_in_the_United_Kingdom as being the first level of UK license.

As a new student to flying in the UK, I found the information about NPPL confusing, inconsistent and difficult to uncover. I have assembled the key facts into a single page and shown supporting references where possible/relevant.

While the NPPL covers two categories (aeroplanes and self-launching gliders/powered handgliders), I've concentrated on the aeroplane aspects as a start.

Mobilesense (talk) 09:57, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Andersenman/Connichi
Hello,

I have created an article in my userspace about one of the few big, if not biggest, anime convention of Germany, User:Andersenman/Connichi. I am writing as an insider so I am somewhat struggling to find actually published references to, or by, "reliable sources" (although I am not revealing any "secret" interna) to make it entirely verifiable. This is my first article. I am looking forward to reading your responses. Thanks. Andersenman (talk) 13:22, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Virgin Media Pioneers
I'd really appreciate you having a look at User:P4parrot/VirginMediaPioneers. This is the first time I've written a wiki articleso any feedback's appreciated.

Virgin Media Pioneers is a new video-blogging n=community for young entrepreneurs.

Thanks,

P4parrot (talk) 16:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
 * I fixed the link in your request so it would work properly.
 * The problem with the article at present is that it contains no independent third-party references; every citation links to the official website or to other sites affiliated with it. This means that if the article goes live now, it will probably be nominated for deletion on the grounds that it fails Wikipedia's notability and/or verifiability tests.  Since the subject of the article only launched a couple of weeks ago, this is hardly surprising.  You need to find credible independent coverage of VirginMediaPioneers, and cite it in the article, before it will be ready for articlespace.  Ka renjc 19:38, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks so much will definitely update that P4parrot (talk) 11:27, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

Robert Kozma
This is a request for feedback for the page created on Robert Kozma. He is a highly experienced professor at the University of Memphis and Director of several projects that are of interest to the scientific world. I am a third party creating this page and therefore have kept an unbias tone. Thank you for your help. Helios Kirk (talk) 13:49, 24 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Well, you need to establish WP:N since this is a biography of a living person. To do that you need to get some reference from reliable and verifiable sources. Easiest way to do that would be to google in the news section for newspaper and magazine articles. I think the tone is still a bit too promotional, and the lists should probably be reworked into narrative paragraphs. Good start tho, but don't waste time getting references--this is in main space and BLPs get pretty severe scrutiny. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric
User:Lizzard388/Example/Steiner Electric Hi, I made a draft of my first article on Steiner Electric Company in my userspace and want to make it a live article in the mainspace but wanted some feedback first so that it doesn't get deleted. I added a bunch of references and found more hard copy magazines that they are mentioned in that are not online from a few years back that I can add as well. I needed help with editing and making it as good as I can before I submit it to the mainspace. I also needed help with copyright issues and trying to upload the logo that is trademarked. I see other companies have their logos but I do not understand how to upload the one I have. Any feeback would be much appreciated as I would like to make it a real article as soon as possible! Thanks so much! Lizzard388 (talk) 16:13, 24 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I will look at the draft as soon as I can, but on the logo question: a non-free logo uploaded as described in WP:LOGO cannot be used in the draft while it is still in userspace - non-free images are not permitted in userspace. When the article is moved to mainspace the logo can be uploaded and used in the article, and I would be more than happy to help you with that. – ukexpat (talk) 16:55, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

Thank you! Looking forward to your reply after checking my draft! Lizzard388 (talk) 20:55, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Rebecca_Smith_(beauty_queen)
Rebecca_Smith_(beauty_queen)

User:Seth60426/Enter your new article name here

Good afternoon, I'd like to post an article on Mrs. Maryland 2009. Please reveiw and send any suggestions. I also can't find how to change the name. I'll keep looking.

Thank you!!!Seth60426 (talk) 18:22, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

The Silver Star Families of America
The Silver Star Families of America

Would like a little help and reviews on the Silver STar Families of America

I have had lots of help but the page still seems to have too many open spaces I cannot delete out.

Anyway, thank you all and God bless.

And thanks to all who have helped.

Steven1969 (talk) 21:55, 24 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I took the liberty of removing some of the blank lines. If you like, I can do some copy editing of it. --Nuujinn (talk) 23:17, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

THANK you Nuujinn!

Steven1969 (talk) 00:42, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

And by all means edit away!

Steven1969 (talk) 00:46, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

New Article - Eyes in the Dark film
I started an article for a 2010 movie Eyes in the Dark.User:Anakin 99/Eyes in the Dark I believe it is almost ready to be made public and that I have good reference web links, but I am not sure if I did the references properly. I would appreciate some review and feedback since it is the first article I have started myself.

Thank you.

Anakin 99 (talk) 20:17, 7 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Please take a look at WP:NFILMS - despite the references, the subject does not meet the notability guidelines for films. – ukexpat (talk) 18:37, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

Ultimate Software
I kindly ask for your review of Ultimate Software User:Dporcaro/Ultimate_Software. It is a public company with many sources of notability that should be added to Wikipedia.

Your time and thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Thank you, Dporcaro (talk) 21:31, 9 April 2010 (UTC)Desiree Porcaro April 9, 2010


 * First please read WP:COI - in your position as "SEO/Social Media Specialist at Ultimate Software", you clearly have a conflict of interest and are strongly advised not to create or edit articles where you have a conflict. Second, as a NASDAQ listed company the subject almost certainly meets the notability criteria set out at WP:CORP, however the article is rather spammy (referring to the company's products as "solutions",and using the circle-R are Marketing 101) and the list of "Recognition" is too long and should be limited to nationally recognised awards from major publications or institutions. Please take a look at articles for other major companies to see how they balance the good and bad. There are other outlets such as WikiCompany. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 14:50, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

Thyroid cancer
Would like an expert editor to review and possibly improve this new article I created. Immunize (talk) 17:59, 10 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi Immunize, you might be better off asking at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Medicine where there are likely to be editors familiar with the subject. Regards, -- Beloved Freak  13:51, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Did you look at the article, or do you feel that only a medical expert should review the article? Immunize (talk) (talk) 17:52, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, I looked at the article. With respect to the manual of style, it looks fine (other than the format of the citation, which is a bare url at the moment). It has a reference. I'm not sure what other feedback you're looking for, since it's only three lines long. I suggested the Wikiproject because if you're looking for collaboration, you're more likely to find someone there with a specific interest in the subject. And, I don't know enough about this to be sure, but since the first sentence of Thyroid neoplasm says "Thyroid neoplasm or thyroid cancer usually refers to...", is this other article necessary? I see it was previously a redirect to Thyroid neoplasm. Is there any reason in particular you thought it warranted a separate article?-- Beloved Freak  18:06, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

A thyroid neoplasm can be benign or malignant, thyroid cancer is malignant by definition. Furthermore, the treatment for benign thyroid neoplasm (such as thyroid adenoma) differs completely from that of a malignant thyroid neoplasm. Immunize (talk) (talk) 18:15, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Ok, as I say I don't know too much about it. However, the article at Thyroid neoplasm looks like it covers this too. As well as the Wikiproject, it might be worth starting a discussion at Talk:Thyroid neoplasm, perhaps also saying what you think ought to be expanded, and what expert help you need. -- Beloved Freak  18:26, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Sngha2/Midmac
Summary of the MIDMAC bridge bidding system, including Complete Hand Valuation. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sngha2 (talk • contribs) 14:24, 11 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I think there is the basis of a worthwhile article here but it needs work in a couple of areas. First it reads like a how-to, which is explicitly what Wikipedia is not. Take a look at articles on other bidding systems such as Acol and model you draft on those. The Acol article will also give you some hints about appropriate layout. The second area is notability. The draft may just barely reach the threshold with the citation of two books, but you really need more references if you can find them, coverage in Bridge magazines, websites etc, and citations should use one of the appropriate templates such as Cite book or Cite journal. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 14:12, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

The Latimer Group
User:SlatersGarage/The Latimer Group

Looking for feedback on an article I'm working on about The Latimer Group, a communications coaching firm in Wallingford Connecticut. Subheads include info on its founder, as well as company history...

This is my first Wikipedia article, so I'm hoping I got it pretty close... Feedback would be much appreciated.

Thanks SlatersGarage (talk) 13:24, 12 April 2010 (UTC)SlatersGarage 04-12-10


 * At the moment it reads like a promotional piece for the company and its founder, which is a violation of WP:Spam. Also, it does not demonstrate how or why the company is notable per the guidelines at WP:CORP, although it is possible that Brenner may be notable enough per WP:BIO for his sailing activities. In either case you will need to WP:CITE non-trivial coverage in multiple sources independent of the subject to show notability. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 14:03, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

TV Specialists, Inc page
I found a page about a local Appliance/Electronic store in Utah called R.C. Willey and decided to create a page about a local Electronic/Custom Installation store called TV Specialists, Inc. I would like to get it reviewed and posted and I believe this is the next step? TV_Specialists,_Inc

User:Since1953/TV Specialists, Inc

Thank you!

Sorry about the link - couldn't get it to work right.

Since1953 (talk) 16:21, 12 April 2010 (UTC)


 * At the moment the draft is very spammy and would almost certainly be speedily deleted if moved to mainspace in this form. Also, there is nothing in the article text or sources to demonstrate how or why this particular company is notable per the guidelines at WP:CORP. There are other outlets such as WikiCompany. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:30, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Bengomori/George_Gomori_(poet,_writer,_scholar)
Hi there

Added a page for my father who is a celebrated Hungarian poet and writer - there's already a George Gomori listed on here so have pt the differentiation in brackets.

only the second thing I've added so not sure if I've done everything right to get it submitted and reviewed —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bengomori (talk • contribs)


 * Few points: You are related to the subject and therefore have a conflict of interest, so you edits will be heavily scrutinised for a neutral point of view. Having said that, your father is almost certainly notable per the guidelines at WP:BIO and WP:PROF, but that notability must be supported by citing non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources (note that other Wikipedia articles cannot be used as references). So you will have to find some sources that can be cited. Your father is clearly a very prolific writer, but long lists of publications are not necessarily encyclopedic(and could at worst be considered promotional), so you should probably reduce that list to his major publications, those that have won awards for example. I have made a start Wikifying the article with links to other articles, and I am sure more could be done. When the article is moved the title should probably be George Gomori (writer). I hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Feedback on the Mwananchi Communications Ltd page
I have just created a page stil under the userspace draft on here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbiswalo/Mwananchi_Communications_Ltd) and would like your feedback before I move it to be a peoper Wikipedia article.

The company Mwananchi Communicatrions Ltd is one of the leading media houses in Tanzania but it has been hard to find info about it on the net while its a huge company that many Tanzanians and others people have interest in it for the role it plays as an independent media in Tanzania. So I decided to find info as much as I could and found some resources on-line to share with fellows like me who would be interested in this company and its products.

Mwananchi Communications Ltd feedback
Please help me review this article by giving me feedback so that we make it a great resource for all. Thanks!

The article is at http: Mwananchi Communications Ltd. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bbiswalo (talk • contribs)


 * At the moment the article is very promotional in tone and most of the references are not material enough to demonstrate the notability of the subject - for example regurgitation of press releases and passing mentions are not sufficient. The coverage has to be non-trivial. Please take a look at WP:RS for additional guidance on sources. – ukexpat (talk) 20:16, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Digital Creative Agency
The Digital Creative Agency page is a brief description of the services of a digital creative agency. With today's growing technology, digital creative agencies are in competition with or compliment traditional advertising agencies. This page states the differences between the two and provides some examples of digital creative agencies.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this article.

-Sami —Preceding unsigned comment added by Playgroundsami (talk • contribs)


 * At first blush this doesn't look like a notable enough subject for an encyclopedia article and looks rather like an attempt to advertise some of these agencies on Wikipedia. In any event, you will have to cite non-trivial coverage in multiple independent sources to demonstrate notability. – ukexpat (talk) 20:03, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Organizational Immaturity
Organizational Immaturity User:Mklubeck/Organizational Immaturity

This article attempts to explain the concept of Organizational Immaturity which organizations may suffer from.

Mklubeck 18:39, 13 April 2010 (UTC)MKlubeck, April 13, 2010


 * I am not convinced that the subject meets the general notability guideline for inclusion in Wikipedia. Most of the references are to a book of which you appear to be a co-author, so you have a conflict of interest with the subject. The concept appears (from the publication year of your book - 2010) to be new, and most "new" things will not have received the non-trivial coverage in reliable sources required to demonstrate notability. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! I think it does help. I did co-author the book, but I would have tried to put this into Wikipedia years ago (before writing the book) if I was more aware. You are right it is a new concept and understand if it requires more time. Don't know what to do about the "conflict of interest" since we (the authors) are probably the most knowledgable at this time - until (hopefully) our readership grows. Thanks again!

Mklubeck (talk) 18:37, 14 April 2010 (UTC)Mklubeck

Christopher T. Gonzalez
I created an article on Christopher T. Gonzalez and it is ready to be reviewed by others.Michelle D. Dartis 18:41, 13 April 2010 (UTC)Michelle Dartis —Preceding unsigned comment added by Michelle Dartis (talk • contribs)


 * The tone of the article is very non-neutral and very "peacocky" and I have tagged it accordingly. Expressions like "Gonzalez was a trailblazer..." are not encyclopedic or neutral. So the tone needs some work. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 19:55, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Bay View Garden and Yard Society
I've just completed an article on a non-profit community organization at User:VitusKonter/Bay View Garden and Yard Society. I've included as many references as I could find, so I hope this helps to meet the notablility guidelines. Thank you for your time and consideration. VitusKonter (talk) 06:44, 14 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I have taken a quick look and made some formatting changes, in particular I changed the thumbnail size to the default so that the images do not overpower and distort the text flow. I think it's ready to move to the mainspace. Let me know if you need help with that. – ukexpat (talk) 19:31, 14 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you for fixing the images. That is one area of wiki that I seem to be having problems. It does look better now, and I'll probably wait to move it to mainspace next week, to see if there's any more feedback. VitusKonter (talk) 05:54, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Community Mobilization
Hi friends,

Recently, I have added this page to Wikipedia and tired to make the content of this article lucid. In order to make this article beautiful, I request you for your feedback and suggestions.

Your help will be deeply appreciated.--Alok Mishra (talk) 09:11, 14 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I am not convinced that this is an encyclopedic subject in the narrow way that you have defined it - communities mobilise for many more reasons than "to achieve sustainable development". Isn't this just a subset of community building, maybe your content could be more usefully merged into that article? – ukexpat (talk) 18:23, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your feedback. Though there is close interface between community building and community mobilization but there is a sharp contrast also exist between these two terms. I wrote this article as a separate from community building because of several reasons. 1) Community mobilization is emerging as a powerful tool for community development and it contrast from development development in many methodological and conceptual aspects at micro level. (I agree there is close interface exist). 2) I Felt there should be an article on Community mobilization which should cover detailed and comprehensive description with online resource materials. In the light of above reasons and keeping a good faith in Wiki spirit, I tried to add the page. Your further help will be deeply appreciated. --Alok Mishra (talk) 04:40, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Behavior Change Communication
Hi friends,

Recently, I have added this page to Wikipedia and tired to make this article lucid and informative. In order to make this article beautiful, I request you for your feedback and suggestions. Please let me know how it looks and developmental need.

Your help will be deeply appreciated.--Alok Mishra (talk) 09:35, 14 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I think it's a pretty good start. The tone needs work, try to avoid passive voice. "It has been noticed..." is an example, a better way to express it would be to say who noticed and what they did when they noticed. Some of the sentences are unnecessary or don't say aynthing, for example,  "A society consists of many sub-groups and this is evidence of further stratification" is meaningless, as sub-groups are not evidence of further stratification. I would suggest recasting the language in simple and direct phrases to make your meaning clear, and avoid the use of terms. -- Nuujinn (talk) 23:10, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Sandford Pre School
User:Remawa/Sandford Pre School

14/04/2010  Remawa (talk) 11:15, 14 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The Wikikpedia consensus is that schools below secondary level are not de facto notable, so to get over this hurdle you will need to demonstrate notability with cited references to non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources independent of the subject. I think it will be a fruitless exercise. – ukexpat (talk) 17:12, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

Kanchan Armour
This article is about the Kanchan Armour indigeneously developed in India. Please comment on this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Lohiyagaurav/Kanchan_armour —Preceding unsigned comment added by 193.113.57.161 (talk) 12:31, 14 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Well, the first thing I'd suggest is adding some references from reliable sources, in order to establish notability. Google news is a good place to start, please take a look at [this], and for citation format see WP:CITE. The prose is pretty good, but could use some cleanup. One thing to avoid is use of phrases expressing an opinion, such as "It played havoc on enemy tanks in 1971 war", unless you can provide a reference showing that a reliable source described the event as such. -- Nuujinn (talk) 14:05, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Jammu & Kashmir Issue
[] My article on the above subject, I am told, needs a feedback. Please let me know if there is anything concerning this article that I have missed out? This is an historical account of the State of jammu & Kashmir backed by references whereever required and even referenced comparable articles with the same context or subject. Still I will appreciate if I am corrected to make this article meaningful. Thanks --Mrathore 13:56, 14 April 2010 (UTC) Mrathore 14.42 —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mrathore (talk • contribs) 13:48, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
 * There are already extensive articles on this topic at Kashmir and Jammu (princely state) and Kashmir conflict. Please do any work which needs doing on those articles, rather than "re-inventing the wheel". -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  14:22, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Mike I wrote this article in context with the prevailing situation in Jammu & Kashmir and wanted to apprise the interested parties with a version a common man in J & K wants the international community to be aware of. To understand the imbroglio an impartial analysis can be made getting the story from horses mouth. Please advise further. Thanks 86.21.13.87 (talk) 08:09, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[]
 * Frankly, your draft fails badly to maintain the necessary neutral point of view we require here. I would strongly advise you to abandon this draft, concentrating instead on improving the existing articles. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  15:47, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

H.R. Gray
H.R. Gray We have edited this page to make sure it it neutral. Can you please review again and remove the flags if you agree? If not, can you be specific about what it is you would like to see changed? Amynumbers (talk) 14:08, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Who is "we"? -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  14:14, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

AETC Collaboration Portal
AETC Collaboration Portal User:Afeducationuser/AETC Collaboration Portal

Please review my article. Afeducationuser (talk) 14:45, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Steverance/Flying Pig Productions
Could I have some feedback about the article please. Many thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by Steverance (talk • contribs) 15:24, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Self defense pressure points
User:SuKristie/Self defense pressure points

This is my first article. It is about using pressure points of your attackers body to defend yourself and discusses which of your body parts to use on these pressure points. Are the lists a problem, or anything else?

--SuKristie (talk) 19:23, 15 April 2010 (UTC)SuKristie 4/15/10


 * Well, we already have an article Pressure point, which seems to cover the subject already but in greater detail. Your article at the moment is not encyclopaedic and neutral in tone - it reads like a personal essay or an instruction manual (referring to your own experience and opinions in an encyclopaedia article is unacceptable, for example).  It might be a better idea to see if you can use your source material to help improve an existing article on the subject.  Ka renjc 19:04, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Kevin.dubienski
User:Kevin.dubienski is for a Calgary, AB, Canada member of the Conservative party, Donna Kennedy-Glans. The article includes a brief synopsis, summary of her career, and information on the books she has written. I think the article is close to ready but could really use anyone's advice on what I can do to make it 100% good to go.

I have read most of the available resources on properly writing and formatting for wikipedia so hopefully I'm on track. Thank you for your kind help and I look forward to learning more!

Kevin.dubienski (talk) 22:33, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Moved it to User:Kevin.dubienski/Donna Kennedy-Glans. User:Kevin.dubienski is for information about you, not for draft articles! Now as to the draft article: there is nothing here to indicate that she is notable enough to have an encyclopedia article about her. Just another Tory corporate lawyer in Alberta. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  01:20, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Kevin.dubienski/Donna Kennedy-Glans thanks for the moving the article for me, I was a little unclear about the workings of my user page. So as you noted there is nothing here to indicate she is "notable enough to have an encyclopedia article about her" does that mean I have no chance of this article getting accepted? I was recommended previously recommended by User:JohnCD to revise much of the article (you can see these comments on my talk page) and am quite let down to hear that it looks like it won't work now. Is there anything I can do to make this better work? Thank you for your time User:Orangemike. Kevin.dubienski (talk) 18:23, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

MEET - Middle East Education through Technology
Greetings!

My non-profit organization just set up our own page, located at MEET - Middle East Education through Technology

In a nutshell, the mission of MEET is to be a bridge facilitating healthy interaction and dialogue between Israeli and Palestinian high-school students, through a shared goal of education and cross-cultural learning.

However we realize this topic may be a bit sensitive (even though our organization is neutral), therefore would like to seek feedback from the Wiki community on your thoughts about our page (too political? sensitive?) and any advice on improving it.

Thanks so much!!

Lbeana, 4/15 Lbeana (talk) 23:28, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I took the liberty of making some quick edits to bring it more in line with normal article structure. What you need, however, are more citations from reliable sources. See if you can't incorporate some of the external links as inline citations, that will help. The tone is a bit too promotional, also, see if you can make it more neutral. -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:25, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Fidel Roig Matons
I need feedback on this article: User:Fvroig/Fidel Roig Matons Thanks.

Fvroig (talk) 00:05, 16 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Once the article is cleaned up (see WP:MOS, WP:CITE, and WP:EL), I believe you've made a good preliminary case for his notability. You should, however, disclose your own conflict of interest on the talk page of the article. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  01:25, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

MadeinLocal
User:Ifranchino/MadeinLocal A second version of my article on MadeinLocal! I improved references, and I hope there are enough! All feedback is welcome, as it is my first article.

Thank you! Ifranchino (talk) 08:49, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Corinne Malvern
Corinne Malvern -- I'd appreciate someone reviewing this for me. Dfoy (talk) 14:56, 16 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I've removed the unreviewed tag, and taken the liberty of doing a little formatting. In particular I've unWikilinked the titles of Corinne Malvern's Little Golden Books as you had them, because the links went to articles about other versions of the story by other authors (and in one case, to a film to which I'm sure Ms Malvern had no connection!), and I've done some formatting of the external links at the end.  This is a good short article, with good references and links.  I think your inference about the date of birth is fair, given the photographic evidence, and have put an approx birth date in the lead section.  Nice work.  Ka renjc 17:09, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

William A Edelstein
User:Hannahralston/William A. Edelstein

Hello! This is my first article and I'd be grateful for feedback on whether it is ready for publication. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Hannahralston (talk • contribs) 16:31, 16 April 2010 (UTC)
 * It looks pretty good to me. The refs seem fine. You may want to wikilink a few of the topics that people reading the article may want to know more about, such as Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Imaging or the names of universities.  You do that by enclosing them in double square brackets. Also, headers should look like == Aberdeen == instead of Aberdeen, and you can just delete the External Links section since it's not used. Otherwise a great start! Station1 (talk) 23:07, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Ecometrica
Article name: Ecometrica Ecometrica

User:BRELCO/Ecometrica

New page regarding Ecometrica company background information. Please provide comment on whether article is ready for publication on Wikipedia, and if not, how to improve it. thanks,

BRELCO (talk) 16:34, 16 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It's a decent stub as far as it goes, although you need to fix the link to University of Edinburgh (and unlink the second one), but it needs multiple independent sources to establish the company's notability. The Times Online article is an excellent source, but the Scotsman one is just a press release in a couple of short lines - a couple more good-quality sources would put the article on much firmer ground.  Ka renjc 19:14, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

User:BRELCO/Ecometrica Hi, I have made the identified changes and added some more sources now - would appreciate more feedback, thanks. BRELCO (talk) 14:19, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

Energy Policy of the Obama Administration
Hello,

I'd love to receive feedback on my draft post: User:AllisonShapira/Energy_Policy_of_the_Obama_Administration. This is my first time writing a page on Wikipedia.

Thank you very much for your time.

AllisonShapira (talk) 17:06, 16 April 2010 (UTC) Allison Shapira April 16, 2010
 * 1. This is mostly original research and synthesis, which is not what Wikipedia is for.
 * 2. This is full of external links rather than wikilinks to relevant articles. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  18:41, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, Orangemike, for your feedback. Is a website of the US Government considered a reliable source? Allison —Preceding unsigned comment added by AllisonShapira (talk • contribs) 13:24, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * For basic facts yes, but for establishing notablity, no, because it is a self-reference. See WP:RS for guidance on reliable sources. – ukexpat (talk) 19:46, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

Information Strategist
Information Strategist

I request a review of this page. It is still inwork and your input would be valued.

Information Strategist is an emerging discipline in the field of information management. Having information is not enough. The information strategisit is a master of content whose challenge is to get the right information to the right people at the right time and at the right place when it is needed. He does so by organizing around processes and structuring the operations to deliver the right information.

GeoBub (talk) 17:46, 16 April 2010 (UTC)Jim Bogden

ING Life Insurance
This is a very simple article about ING Life India as an organization and its origin and growth. The Article is:

ING Life Insurance

I would appreciate any feedback to this article. Thanks!

Vikas Chandak 09:13, 16 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Well, the article as it stands is promotional and lacks reliable sources, can you find some to support the article? -- Nuujinn (talk) 21:08, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

The Special Law of Curvilinear Disparity: Feedback Request
Curvilinear Disparity

It is a political theory that posits that party activists tend to be more radical than either party leaders or normal voters - if somebody gets a chance, a review would be very much appreciated. Sorry for reposting down here but I think it got a bit lost in the traffic over the last few days. Cheers. Eoinjones (talk) 10:33, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Lela and Raymond Howard
I just wrote the article Lela and Raymond Howard. This the first article I have ever written on Wikipedia so I would appreciate it if someone could look at it. I read all of the articles on how to create a page and am sure the subject is noteable. I posted it on the drawing board and received an ok to make the page.

What concerns me is that I have only one reference that can be directly verified. Several of my sources are newpapers articles that are not posted online. A couple articles were mailed to me from the refence department of a library in Texas. Also, all of the Austin American Statesman articles can be viewed online, but only if you have an online account with the newspaper.

I don't know what the protocol is in this case. The whole reason I wanted to create this Wikipedia article is that there is so little information on the subjects online. I had to do quite a bit of digging to find out the information I did. Please let me know if this is adequate or what I need to do to correct it if it's not.

Also I created 2 redirects. One on the Raymond Howard page and this one: Lela Howard. I am not sure I did the Lela Howard one correctly as it does not immediately redirect me back to the main article. I don't know if I did something wrong or if this is because the main article is under review.

Thanks for you help! Saintlouieb (talk) 00:06, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

I just fixed all the disambiguated links! Saintlouieb (talk) 00:23, 17 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I fixed the Lela Howard redirect. It was not working because of the line above " #REDIRECT... ". Station1 (talk) 00:42, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

Do I show sufficient notability? I have been reading the notability guidlines extensively the past couple weeks to see if this article meets that criteria. Can someone tell me if this meets the criteria for WP:BIO1E? I think it's right on the edge.

These people disappeared which made national headlines. If that were the end of it then they would not be notable. However, several times since then (I found three different newspaper articles), the issue has arisen of senior citizens and driving cars; should there be restrictions, additional testing, etc., and Lela and Raymond Howard's name comes up in those articles. Does that constitute ongoing coverage? Obviously they are never going to be in the news again for doing anything different.

Someone please help! Saintlouieb (talk) 17:29, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Ɯ/Alpha algorithm
Hi,

this is going to be my first article: User:Ɯ/Alpha algorithm it's about an algorithm which is mentioned on the Process mining, though not linked nor explained there.

It's far from being finished, but I'd like to make it available to everyone at this stage to avoid duplication. &#91;Ɯ:&#93; (talk) 14:43, 17 April 2010 (UTC)
 * You put some spaces at the beginning of some lists, presumably for indenting. That caused the blue dotted line box to be placed around the material. Unless you wanted the blue box, which I don't think looks nice, I made some minor edits.
 * I changed the first list from bullet points to numbers, because of the reference to three items. If you prefer bullet points, you can change it back.
 * You wanted on list of bullet indented in some places - I have done so, while eliminating the blue dotted line box.
 * You wikilinked "workflow net" twice. Wikilinking a term, creating a red link is acceptable, but the convention is to do it only the first time, not each time. (In a long article, there may be reason to do it more than once.) I removed the second wikilink.
 * I wikilinked "petri net"
 * If you want the bulleted items indented more, change "*" to ":*"
 * Nice start, obviously needs a little more work before moving to article space.-- SPhilbrick  T  18:01, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks a lot for reviewing! I'm happy with the changes. The bullet points were intentional, though, so I changed the "#"'s back to "*". &#91;Ɯ:&#93; (talk) 16:37, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

susan gardner
User:Tonyremo/susangardner

I have just created this article and would like advice before I move it to the main space. Thank you.

Tonyremo (talk) 20:37, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

DR. DAN IVANKOVICH
Dr. Dan Ivankovich. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Doinggooddaily/Dr._Dan_Ivankovich

Doinggooddaily (talk) 21:51, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

Respectfully request feedback on this article to prepare it for publication.

Thank you.


 * It's a good start. Some suggestions:
 * Break out a two-three sentence WP:lead.
 * Work on incorporating the external references into the article as inline citations, see WP:cite.
 * Section titles should be not be all caps.
 * You should probably add a Template:Infobox_person.
 * The prose needs some work, it needs to be more neutral.
 * You might go through MOS:BIO for some additional guidelines.
 * Hope that helps, -- Nuujinn (talk) 20:14, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It needs to be purged of cutesiness: no "Dr. Dan" or use of first names, honorifics; no "Windy City" instead of Chicago. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  21:26, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

United States Cyber Command
Request review for improvement and a fair rating based on current assessment standards. Sephiroth storm (talk) 04:21, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Ratings are generally done by Wikiprojects, rather than help desks. The one that looks most promising is WikiProject Military history/United States military history task force. You might post a message on one or more of the coordinators listed on that page - I'd guess they can either arrange for the review, or tell you what to do.


 * A few comments on the article itself:
 * I don't know what a "subordinate unified command" is. I can hazard a guess, but I presume it has a precise meaning. I see it is used elsewhere in WP, but I didn't find an explanation. I assume most military people know what it means, but remember the audience may not - is there a way to explain it (perhaps in a footnote?
 * I note you used the emblem of the US Strategic Command, which I assume is a much larger group than the subject of this article. Is there not an emblem for the United States Cyber Command? In view of my previous point, it may be that this is standard, but I just want to make sure it is appropriate.
 * Most of your refs are raw html. If you are looking to get rated, having better formed refs is often part of the criteria. I changed the second reference to show an example, I find it easy to add properly formed references using a citation tool; you can add one by going to your preferences, selecting "Gadgets" and clicking the box next to "reftools". It will add a "cite" button to your toolbar - which is easy to use. -- SPhilbrick  T  18:46, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you, I will take a look at the other note tomorrow, however I can answer the first two, US Cyber Command is currently slated to be a unit under the "control" of US Strategic Command, which is why it is a sub unified command. There currently is no (known) emblem for the unit as it will not be operational until a unit Commander is officially in charge, I will attempt to explain in the article. Once the unit activates, then a unit Distinctive unit insignia and Shoulder sleeve insignia will be created, and hopefully published for public viewing. Thanks for the help. Sephiroth storm (talk) 11:28, 18 April 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by 12.239.95.6 (talk)

Two new categories I would like reviewed
I would like Category:Adrenal gland disorder and Category:Thyroid neoplasm, 2 new categories I created recently, reviewed by a wikipedian with experience on categorization. Immunize (talk) 19:32, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Unless there's a good reason not to, I'd rename Category:Thyroid neoplasm to Category:Thyroid cancer. AFAIK the terms are equivalent, and most readers will know what "cancer" means but won't have a clue about "neoplasm". – iride  scent  19:42, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

The issue is that Thyroid adenoma, which is included in the category, is a benign thyroid tumor and thus would not fit into the category:thyroid cancer. Otherwise I would fully support renaming the category. Immunize (talk) 19:59, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Fair enough – although it may (emphasis on "may") – be better to remove Thyroid adenoma from the category, and rename it. That way, the category can fit neatly as a subcategory of Category:Types of cancer, where I suspect are most likely to look for it. – iride  scent  20:05, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

How do you rename a category? I do not see a move tab at the top of the category page. Immunize (talk) 15:59, 19 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Categories for discussion (Cfd) is where deletion, merging, and renaming of categories is discussed.  GB fan  talk 16:05, 19 April 2010 (UTC)


 * And technical issues like this would also benefit from assistance from the folks at WP:MEDICINE. – ukexpat (talk) 19:43, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

I have proposed renaming the category to thyroid cancer, however, there has been an error, and my nomination somehow did not reach the CfD page. Immunize (talk) 15:04, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

John Wall (electronic composer)
Any feedback on my second article would be appreciated! John Wall (electronic composer) Many thanks! --PressedBack (talk) 19:51, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I think it's very good, pulled the unreviewed template, -- Nuujinn (talk) 01:12, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Many thanks! At what stage does an article get reviewed/rated? --PressedBack (talk) 20:58, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
 * When you first created the article using the article Wizard, it added a template noting that the article was unreviewed. That process is complete, although I caution you that it is an informal review - meaning that if some other editor decided the article should be proposed for deletion, the fact that it was reviewed will carry no weight. However, I don't think that's an issue.


 * If by rating, you mean the quality and importance ratings - those are generally done by members of a Wikiproject. I think the one most relevant to this article is WikiProject Electronic music. You may be interested in joining it yourself - but if you are looking for a rating, you should contact someone on that page, simply by clicking the word "talk" next to their name, and asking at their talk page. (If this isn't clear, just say so, and I'll give more details.)-- SPhilbrick  T  01:30, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

Seeker Wireless
User:Elliot Sumner/Seeker Wireless

Hi - would appreciate any advice you guys might have as to the validity of this article with regards to notability, citations etc.

The subject is a company but it's intended to be as objective as possible.

Any tips much appreciated.

Thanks

Elliot Sumner (talk) 07:11, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
 * My biggest concern is the lack of references from reliable sources indicating that the company is notable. While you have included three references - the first is (IMO) reliable, but does not mention Seeker. The second mentions Seeker, but may not qualify as a Reliable Source. The third is a Press Release, which can be used, but does not count in terms of reliable sources. Which means you have either zero or one source - more are needed.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:19, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks very much Sphilbrick - I've updated the refs (added 2 new ones, and swapped the last for a Straits Times article) - do you think this is enough? Elliot Sumner (talk) 03:53, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Dudley Allen Buck
First time author here. I have created an article on computer pioneer Dudley Allen Buck. User:AlanDewey/Enter your new article name here

AlanDewey (talk) 14:57, 19 April 2010 (UTC)Alan Dewey 19 April 2010

Also, I seem to have screwed up when creating the title for the article. I have not yet figured out how to change it. Maybe it will be easy to change after it is approved. One important point is that this article is about the Electrical Engineer / Inventor Dudley Allen Buck, not the composer Dudley Buck.

AlanDewey (talk) 17:30, 19 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I moved it for you to User:AlanDewey/Dudley_Allen_Buck. It's a good start, but you should break out a short wp:lead section, and use section heading to break it up a bit. Also, you've got two references, but adding some additional ones would be a good idea. Have you looked in Google News in the archives to search for articles? Here's one to get you started:
 * Life Magazine Article with Picture


 * If you want some help with editing just let me know, -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:01, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Is this how we are supposed to communicate? Someone send the "the missing manual". That was very helpful. Also the unfindable link WP:lead .. very helpful and I would have NEVER found it on my own. I have edited the page a lot based on this input. I am not going to claim it is 'ready' yet. However, I have made significant improvement. Hopefully enough that I am ready for more suggestions. I still don't understand this wikipaedia thing much. But if you have the ability to help edit the article, then go ahead.

I have much more material that can be cited. However, much of it is only recently being declassified. Since most people will not have access to it, is it proper to cite it? AlanDewey (talk) 19:15, 20 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I don't see why not, so long as these are official documents that others could get access to, for guidance on that see WP:RS. You do want to be careful not to do original research, however. I'm pretty new here, too, dunno if I'll ever figure it all out. -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:23, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Shushybye
User:Shushyfan513/Shushybye

I believe this article has proper notability, however several of the external articles for Shushybye come from the Shushybye homepage (articles are downloaded and open in a Word document -- however, they are complete scans of the original article).

Thanks for checking it out! Shushybye is my child's favorite show on BabyFirst TV Shushyfan513 (talk) 16:02, 19 April 2010 (UTC) Shushyfan513 4/19/2010
 * Links to scans of articles are not suitable, both because scans can be tampered with and because scans of articles are often (as in this case) blatant violations of the copyrights of the initial article's creators. If the articles actually existed, they should be verifiable in the original publications. Likewise, the websites of publishers and others with a conflict of interest are not generally reliable sources of impartial information. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  23:31, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

Amitabh Mitra
I have created an article on Indian born South African Poet, Artist and an Orthopaedic Surgeon, Amitabh Mitra. Please give any advice to make the article look better. Thanks

Shubhoshreemitra (talk) 16:20, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

Nimsoft
Hello, I'd be interested in getting an article reviewed. Nimsoft was posted back in February, and still has the "This is New/Unreviewed Article" notice at the top. If we could have reviewed, it would be much appreciated. Best, Rbudde (talk) 19:19, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Lots of reasons
 * Mainly written like an advertisement. Wikipedia is not a product listing.
 * Too many redlinks. Do a search, and link to related pages, don't include redlinks in a draft
 * Infobox needs work

IMHO, this is. A lot of work is needed. A p 3 rson ‽   22:40, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Double JJ Resort
User:Froggieskc/Double JJ Resort

Resort in Rothbury, MI, where the Rothbury Music Festival has been held. Went bankrupt and re-opened. Opened originally in 1937.

Froggieskc (talk) 20:42, 19 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The article lacks verifiable and reliable sources establishing notability, without those it will surely be deleted. Writing's not bad, but it is a bit too promotional. -- Nuujinn (talk) 23:54, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

More references have been added. The history is largely from a local historian, making it difficult to cite from the internet. There's a few different news sources now, along with reputable websites for the festival & golf course. Think it looks better now? Thanks Froggieskc (talk) 13:48, 23 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The references are better (not good, but better). The tone still needs a lot of work--I'd suggest just dropping the first two paragraphs. You need a lead, and rework the prose to be more neutral. Use of the local historian is tricky, as it seems to me that you're engaging in original research. Have you tried searching Google new archives? -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:16, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Mohamed Sanu
User:Fuddrutgers/Mohamed Sanu

My article is about Rutgers University wide receiver Mohamed Sanu. He is one of the top underclassmen in American college football and is a future NFL draft pick.

Signed, Fuddrutgers —Preceding unsigned comment added by Fuddrutgers (talk • contribs) 22:55, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
 * ❌ Still needs work:
 * Does not follow NPOV policy. Words like "very versatile" and "impressive" cause this.
 * Use links less often, and with the current links, use the DISPLAY TEXT format to include more text.
 * With external links, use the format [ http://www.example.com Example Page] to format them.
 * I do like the rest of the article, grammar, and use of refs, so it is, but it need work. A p 3 rson  ‽   14:48, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

The Shield of Athena Montréal
I wrote up a profile on a women`s organization that supports women in minority groups dealing with issues of conjugal violence. Please let me know what you think.

User:Taejah33/The_Shield_of_Athena_Montr%C3%A9al

--Taejah33 (talk) 00:34, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * You have included much more detail than is necessary. Wikipedia isn't a how-to guide. Also, you should rely more on the independent sources that you have, and less on the website of the organisation itself. Look at the Manual of Style for use of capital letters. Itsmejudith (talk) 11:11, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Eddiebod/Kenny Rice
I have created a page for American Sportscaster Kenny Rice. User:Eddiebod/Kenny Rice I've included many 3rd party sources and I believe he is notable enough. I would appreciate any feedback on the article as this is my first attempt at a complete WIKI article. The subject is linked to from several other wiki pages, but has no entry of his own yet. Special:WhatLinksHere/Kenny_Rice Eddiebod (talk) 03:29, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * ✅ Looks good to me. Pulling draft template. Also, removing userspace redirect. A p 3 rson  ‽   14:39, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! Eddiebod (talk) 17:49, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Oregon LNG
I've written an article about the company Oregon LNG and I've been waiting several weeks for it to be moved from New, Unreviewed Article. Can someone help? Collander123 (talk) 04:23, 20 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I have reviewed, made some minor formatting changes and removed the tag. – ukexpat (talk) 14:52, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Neurochem
Neurochem

It is my first wikipedia article and some comments would be helpful to improve the quality of the article.

In this article, an European research project in the area of artificial olfaction is presented.

Jfonollosa (talk) 09:35, 20 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Looks good to me, I pulled the unreviewed template. -- Nuujinn (talk) 01:04, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Intelligent Manufacturing Systems (IMS) - Global Research and Innovation in Manufacturing
Intelligent Manufacturing Systems (IMS) - Global Research and Innovation in Manufacturing Intelligent_Manufacturing_Systems_(IMS)_-_Global_Research_and_Innovation_in_Manufacturing This is a global multi-lateral, non-profit, and government supported program for manufacturing research. We hope to raise awareness to provide our free services to researchers. Thanks kindly for your review. MfgGlobalResearch (talk) 10:57, 20 April 2010 (UTC) Dan Nagy, Program Director, 20 April, 2010
 * This looks like an important organisation worthy of an encyclopedia article. I have a few comments:
 * The name is very long. Perhaps Intelligent Manufacturing Systems will do.  The fact that it is capitalised will indicate that it is the name of something, not just a topic.
 * Can you find mentions of the organisation in independent sources? This would help to show that other people think that IMS is worthy of mention and give some balance.  At the moment you only have the IMS website.
 * Use tags more to build up the reference section at the bottom of the page. It would also be helpful to format the citations and add additional information using,  or
 * Is the Journal of Intelligent Manufacturing related to IMS? If it is you should probably mention it.  If not, it may provide some useful independent sources.
 * Yaris678 (talk) 12:14, 20 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Article speedily deleted as spam. – ukexpat (talk) 14:44, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

local food plus
Greetings Editors,

I have create a userpage draft of a new entry Local Food Plus: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Vj_stokes/Local_Food_Plus

Could someone please review this page and let me know if it suits?

COI disclosure: I am a freelance writer and editor. Local Food Plus is one of my clients. They have asked me to create this for them. I am interested in this area (sustainable food policy/action), and feel it appropriate for LFP to have an entry here.

Thanks so much. Please advise,

Vj stokes (talk) 14:34, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * ❌ Lots of things wrong:
 * The entire article is exactly 2 sentences.
 * Don't use return on the lines, Wikipedia will break lines for you.
 * Highly biased. Read the NPOV policy.
 * Use an organization template, to give it body.
 * When making references, use template:cite to format them, and use and tags to include them in a section.
 * It is generally suggested on Wikipedia for new editors not to do articles about anything affiliated to them, including companies/organization. This is a prime example of that.
 * Overall, needs work. A p 3 rson  ‽   03:15, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
 * However, I think the topic is notable and it is worth having an article on it. There is at least one newspaper report used. Perhaps more can be found; these are appropriate sources and can be used more fully than they have been so far. Itsmejudith (talk) 11:07, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Fix it first. A p 3 rson  ‽   14:27, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

User:TBGF/S'Quarrels
Posting information about a new card game with sources from BoardGameGeek, BoardgameNews, and the Publisher's website.

--TBGF (talk) 21:54, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Added my changes to the page
 * Minor gramatical errors.
 * Removed ex. links.
 * Too much capitalization - use bold text
 * Some parts do not follow NPOV policy. Removed.
 * Overall, pretty good. A p 3 rson  ‽   03:01, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Jamie Geller
Jamie Geller

I would appreciate any feedback on this article about a popular cookbook author.

Soflo1800 (talk) 22:51, 20 April 2010 (UTC)


 * The article is very promotional, and will required cleanup to make it more neutral in tone. I also noticed that you're creating a number of articles related to kosher.com and people who work there. I assume you are doing so in good faith, but do please be careful to avoid conflicts of interest. In terms of this article, you may want to start by reviewing the information at WP:BLP, a set of guidelines for biographies. If you have questions, please feel free to post them here or on my talk page. -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:58, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Eastside Heritage Center
Please review this page on the Eastside Heritage Center, a nonprofit organization in Bellevue, Washington: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sustainablejackie/Eastside_Heritage_Center Sustainablejackie (talk) 07:15, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

World Surfing Reserves
World Surfing Reserves []

Thanks for any help.

199.4.18.2 (talk) 17:49, 21 April 2010 (UTC)ljameskelly

Chris_Duke
Please take a look at Chris_Duke, a host of a national American television show called Motorz TV.

We have been working on it for a few months in our personal sandbox, which is why you probably don't see a history on this one. Thank you for your time.

--Dukenetworks (talk) 20:00, 21 April 2010 (UTC)


 * You don't have any references--please take a look at WP:BLP, what you need are some verifiable and reliable to establish notability. You also appear to have a potential conflict of interest, but I'm assuming you are editing in good faith. -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:05, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Nope; it's a total spamvertisement account with a bad COI record. The account has been spamusername blocked. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  04:19, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

New York Food Tours
I would appreciate feedback from the following article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Superdeed/New_York_Food_Tours

This is an article about the culinary tourism company of New York Food Tours. The article was nominated for speedy deletion, under section section G11 of the criteria for speedy deletion. I have edited the article and asked for advice from my peers, as well as re-read the Business policy of Wikipedia. Please provide me feedback and criticism on things you believe I should edit, add, or delete. Thanks!

Superdeed (talk) 04:39, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
 * My biggest concern is the paucity of references from reliable sources indicating that the company is notable. The Boston Globe does mention the company, but it is a relatively minor mention - one paragraph out of a longer article. I wasn't able to read the other two references, but, based upon the context, it appears they talk generically about food tours rather than this company. One paragraph of coverage is far short of the standard.-- SPhilbrick  T  15:26, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Marcus Grant
Marcus_T_Grant

Wanted to get some advice and see what you thought of this page, are there changes i can make to prevent it from deletion or does it look good? please let me know, my email is —Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.218.244.79 (talk) 07:41, 22 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I don't think you have sufficient references--the link to wikipedia doesn't count, you should use an internal wikilink instead. What you really need are 2-3 instances of magazine or newspaper articles covering this person. -- Nuujinn (talk) 00:02, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simi_Valley,_California
This statement is incorrect.

The Playtronics Toy company and its car park scenes from Sneakers were filmed at the Countrywide Loans Data Processing - Admin Plant at 400 Countrywide Way.

Sneakers was filmed in the building referred to but the company in the building at the time was Gibraltar Savings. Countrywide took over the biudling after Gibraltar was closed by the RTC.

I worked at Gibralter while Sneakers was Being filmed and saw Robert Redford. Please correct this satement someone. I would just mess it up.

4/21/2010. onipa'a —Preceding unsigned comment added by Onipa'a (talk • contribs) 04:48, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Be bold! If you're unsure, then test it first at the WP:SB. - Reconsider !  07:06, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Truman's Beer
Hello,

This is the first time I have created a Wikipedia page and would like to check that it meets all the necessary conventions.

I have been researching Truman's for the last few months as part of a personal interest in east London history. Despite the fact that they were once the world's largest brewery there are not man books on them. The London Metropolitan archives, where almost all the source material was found, has many photos and original letters and recipes. I intend to add photos later, but am waiting for the opportunity to photograph some of the images held by the archive.

I have also been looking into how to move this article onto the main site, but do not meet the criteria of having made 10 edits. I have tried to read the section about what to do in this situation, but am frankly a bit confused. If anybody could help with this it would be much appreciated.

Many Thanks

User:Mghemus/Truman's Beer

Mghemus (talk) 15:30, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The draft version is here Truman's_Beer
 * A good start, but could use a bit more work before moving into main space. I'll be happy to do it for you, but let's make sure it is insufficient shape to fend off the deletionists.
 * I made a couple minor editorial changes.
 * If you are poking around the London Library, you might check to see if they have "A history of beer and brewing" By Ian Spencer Hornsey Among other things, it notes that the Truman family was involved in brewing in 1381, and probably has other material worth referencing. Here is an online link to the Hornsey book
 * Plus you'll want to check out this if you haven't already.
 * Many reader won't know what "PLC" means. (I made a change - see if it is OK)
 * I don't like how the quote is incorporated in the Growth Years section, but I need to figure out why, and come up with a suggestion.-- SPhilbrick  T  16:02, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
 * BTW, you mention that Truman's became a plc. Isn't "Truman's" the name of the beer, rather than the company name? Isn't the company name the Black Eagle or Truman, Hanbury, Buxton & Co. Ltd?-- SPhilbrick  T  16:10, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
 * You might also look for "The curiosities of ale & beer: an entertaining history" By John Bickerdyke (page 356)--  SPhilbrick  T  16:21, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello

Thank you very much for your feedback, obviously it's extremely helpful.

- If you would be happy to do a bit more work at the start before the main space that would be great - I think you have a better idea of what needs doing to get that section right. - Thanks for the editorial changes - I have been trying to find the Hornsey book, unfortunately it is about $75 to buy and none of the libraries I have visited currently has it. What I have read on the google extracts seems very good. The reason I omitted the mention of a Truman family being involved in brewing in 1381 is because there is no definite proof that they are from the same family. There is then no mention of any Truman's in brewing until the 17th century. However, I could add this in if you think it is valid information. - I looked for survey 27 but the London Metropolitan Archive has unfortunately 'misplaced it' - I spent quite a long time with them trying to track it down, but it is the one survey in their collection that is not there. Apparently there might be a copy in another library, but I have yet to make down there. - Thanks for making the PLC change - Let me know about the quote in the Growth section, if you think it is inappropriate then I can take it out. - The original name of the company was Truman but it was known as and referred to itself as 'Truman's Beer', which is why I selected this name. As time progress it became Truman & Hanbury Co. Ltd. and then Truman, Hanbury and Buxton Co. Ltd. but it was still referred to by the public as Truman's Beer. Prior to being shut down, Grand Metropolitan shortened the name to just Truman's (which was the name that remained in use when shut down in 1989). Perhaps the entry should be called 'Truman, Hanbury & Buxton Co. Ltd. with the term 'Truman's Beer' also linking to the page? - The name of the main London brewery was 'Black Eagle Brewery', named after the street on which it was built (Black Eagle Street) - I will include a reference to John Bickerdyke with regards to the creation of Porter. Not a source I had seen before.

Lastly, I have rephotographed many of the hundreds of photos that they have of the old brewery, pubs and vehicles. I also have the necessary permission to re-publish them. Do you think it would help the entry to add photos? They are all black and white and from the turn of the 20th Century.

Thanks again for your help

M-G
 * Thanks for your response. I enjoyed the article very much. I would like to add some further comments, but I will do so directly on your talk page - I will try to get to it in the next few days, time permitting. SPhilbrick  T  15:15, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Betty Hyatt - Community Development and Housing Pioneer
Betty Hyatt: Community Development and Housing Pioneer

Looking for help with article to refine it.

User:Thyatt/Betty_Hyatt

Thyatt (talk) 15:37, 23 April 2010 (UTC)Thomas Hyatt 4/23/2010

Jewel Kid
I am creating a page about a person and would like to upload an image or two. How can I do that? I cant understand the copyrights etc. These pictures arent copyrighted - do they have to be? I got these images from a shotoshoot that was taken of the person. How can i upload them, without getting them deleted? Thanks!

Xer014 (talk) 00:35, 24 April 2010 (UTC) Cheryl Falzon
 * Please check to see if Uploading images answers your questions. If you still have specific questions after reading that, please come back and ask. As an aside, the pictures do have a copyright, as copyright exists without having to be explicitly asserted. The copyright is usually held by the person who took the picture.--  SPhilbrick  T  15:42, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Frances Koons
Frances Koons Frances Koons FansofFrances (talk) 01:13, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Please review my page The Dragon's Journey
Re article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Donchats/The_Dragon%27s_Journey

I would appreciate if someone could give me some feed back on my first attempt at the Dragon's Journey. When time permits I propose to examine in more detail each chapter. Can you tell me what might be required to go live?

Thank you --Donchats (talk) 03:02, 24 April 2010 (UTC) DonChats
 * Jimbo Wales argued that a plot summary (alone) does not make for an acceptable article. here
 * So far, that's all you have. See if you can find reviews or other discussions of the book in reliable sources.-- SPhilbrick  T  13:23, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for requesting feedback on your draft before creating an article. I hope these comments help. If you have questions regarding these comments, please contact me by leaving me a message. I will reply on your talk page. Thank you, liquidluck ✽ talk  23:00, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The length of the plot summary is fine. You may make the summary more detailed if you wish, but please do not create a chapter-by-chapter retelling. The purpose of an encyclopedia entry is to inform readers about the book as a product rather than the story it contains.
 * The article does not yet demonstrate the book's "notability". If a subject meets notability guidelines, it is kept; if it does not, it is considered non-notable and should be deleted. The notability guideline
 * To make the article encyclopedic, try to find information about how the author wrote it, popular, and critical reception.
 * For examples, please see Make Way for Ducklings, The Time Traveler's Wife, or other books listed here. These articles are called "featured articles" and are considered Wikipedia's best articles.

Category:Head and neck cancer and Category:Brain tumor
I would like Category:Head and neck cancer and Category:Brain tumor reviewed. Best wishes, Immunize (talk) 14:41, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Freedom Deep
Freedom Deep Freedom Deep a feature film by Aaron Stevenson (Me) John Ranko (talk) 02:58, 25 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you for asking for reviews before submitting this article. I've gone over it and compiled a list of comments:
 * As you have a major conflict of interest with this subject, Wikipedia advises that you refrain from editing this article. If you choose to continue, please exercise great caution and abide by Wikipedia's neutral point of view policy.
 * In addition to the conflict of interest issue, the film does not yet meet Wikipedia's "notability" criteria. If a subject is deemed non-notable, it is subject to deletion. If a film is notable by Wikipedia's standards, it should meet the guidelines outlined here.
 * The article says the film has "attained a strong cult following", that "much has been documented about its troubled low budget production history", and that there is a "great deal of debate and discussion about Freedom Deep". If these claims can be backed up by reliable sources such as newspaper/magazine articles, the film will meet the guidelines. Press releases are not considered.
 * If the film does not meet the above linked outlines, it may be notable if it meets the general notability guideline. The GNG basically states that if the film has been covered by multiple reliable sources, it may be notable. Filmint and Encore may add to the film's potential notability, but do not satisfy the requirement by themselves.
 * I have gone through the article and formatted it without changing any words. I've also tagged several s, where references should be provided.
 * I hope these comments help. Again, Wikipedia strongly encourages you not to edit the article due to your conflict of interest. If you are increasing awareness for the film as you stated in the Encore interview, someone will likely create the article for you sooner or later. If you have questions about these comments, please contact me by leaving me a message. I will respond on your talk page. Thanks, liquidluck ✽ talk  22:38, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Night of the Grizzlies
After User:Imgahn2u created a page Night of the Grizzlies a few days back, I put together the above. Not sure now that it is done, as it seems to be less about the book and more like a description of the events in the book.

I do agree with Imgahn2u in that I feel it is probably an important book, even if only from the point of view of recording a part of the history of the national park service, and Glacier in particular.

My frustration lies in not being able to find anything which provides support in the way of notability for the book itself - no reviews, no indication of sales (other than hearsay "best seller among backpacking community").

Maybe it shouldn't be about the book, and I should rewrite it as an article about that night? Or should I just slap it in the book article and let it develop as it will from there?

Thoughts, input, guidance, structural changes and recommendations? All welcome :-). Best wishes. --Haruth (talk) 14:18, 25 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I think you have a good article there. From [|this], I think it's safe to call the incident "Night of the Grizzlies" since there is some news coverage of the event using that name. It might be worth having an article about the book and the event, I think there's enough sources to do that. -- Nuujinn (talk) 23:47, 26 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Thanks Nuujinn. I'll make an attempt at splitting it out. Thanks too for the pointer to that resource - gives much more focussed results than standard google search. I think I'll be using that often! Best wishes. --Haruth (talk) 01:55, 27 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Glad to be of help. -- Nuujinn (talk) 03:01, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Daniel Lubetzky
Daniel Lubetzky Daniel Lubetzky http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Zevzigler/Daniel_Lubetzky 4/21 Hi, Thank you for your help! Please let me know what you feel is needed to have this page go live? If it is ready - please let me know.

Reading Wood Black
Almost two weeks ago, I created Reading Wood Black, who was a notable person in Texas history - he was the founder of Uvalde County, Texas and Uvalde, Texas. It was initially tagged as an orphan which I immediately cleared up. Since then, it still has the tag as New Unreviewed Article. Just wondering how long it takes before somebody reviews it and removes that tag. Maile66 (talk) 01:57, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I glanced over it; it looks great! I removed the unreviewed tag. Jminthorne (talk) 02:32, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Alex Day article by User:Wmoran9550
A question has been raised about the notability of this article's subject. I have explored this issue in detail on the article's Discussion Page. I'd appreciate it if anyone had the time to look through this Discussion and offer further ideas for resolving this issue. Thanks. Bill Moran Wmoran9550 (talk) 16:58, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

XER014/Jewel Kid
Can someone please review my page and let me know what changes need to be done? I still need to upload pictures Thanks! Xer014 (talk) 08:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

about ambika mandeer
sir, plz give me detailas of shri ambika mander history. as wel as posibl. thanks              Regards,
 * This is a forum to ask questions about Wikipedia articles. SPhilbrick  T  14:25, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Doc to Dock
Doc to Dock

Hi - Would anyone like to review this article? It's the first one I've written, and I'm eager for any advice I can get.

This article is about Doc to Dock, a nonprofit organization that sends unused medical supplies and equipment to needy hospitals and clinics in Africa.

I'm not sure how to sign this request, as I don't have tildes on my keyboard. However, this is Michael Schulze, writing on 4/26/10.

THANKS,

-Michael
 * I've never seen a keyboard without a tilde. Is there a key to the left of the key with the "1" and the "!" symbol? SPhilbrick  T  19:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Hilliard P. Jenkins
Hilliard P. Jenkins
 * (You don't want to copy the article here, just add a link, so i replaced it with a link) SPhilbrick  T  19:26, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

I have reviewed your page and left comments on its talk section. Thanks! Optiguy54 ( talk ) 23:22, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Black Octopus Ring
A ring shaped like an octopus. Please write feedback so I can improve my article. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Eyelovepink (talk • contribs) 19:34, April 26, 2010. Signed by liquidluck ✽ talk  05:30, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Digital Group Audio
Digital Group Audio []

We are a group of business students working on a project and one of our tasks was to create a Wikipedia article. Our first article was deleted for unambiguous advertising and since then the Team has changed the content drastically many times to make sure that it fits the rules and guidelines of Wikipedia. Instead of promoting a company or product, we made sure that it is used as a source for factual information. We realize it is difficult for start-up companies to enter articles onto Wikipedia because they tend to promote their products or brand name, so we revised the content several times over and read the guidelines in order to meet these requirements. With this said, the Team would love to hear any feedback that you may have in regard to this article. The Team has tried multiple times to rewrite the content and even considered retitling the article in order to meet these standards. Thank you for any feedback you can give us.

Egroset2010 (talk) 22:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)Senior Experience Business Team, April 26,2010Egroset2010 (talk) 22:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
 * We do not permit "team" accounts here. This role account had to be blocked. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  22:34, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Die defect (coin)
I have created an article about two general types of error dies and there respective coins. Could someone provide a source for publicly available pictures of examples of these coins? I am a coin collector myself and have many examples of each, but I do not have a scanner or digital microscope with which I can upload my own work. Also, if anyone is also an expert on the subject and would be willing to contribute further sub-sections with varieties and examples of each, that would be great. General feedback would also be much appreciated. Thanks! Optiguy54 ( talk ) 22:48, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Elaine Szymoniak
The Wikipedia page Elaine Szymoniak was recently created. This woman was a politician in the US State of Iowa. The article has "gone live" and I was hoping to have some help/suggestions and a review of the article for credibility and quality. In addition, I am currently having trouble posting an image of Szymoniak, but I am working with the linked tutorials to hopefully alleviate the issue. Thanks. MattSzymoniak (talk) 00:07, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Not a bad start, there aren't any immediate concerns. I've gone ahead and made some minor structural changes. - Reconsider !  07:21, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Goals Soccer Centers, Inc.
Please review and edit/comment

Goals Soccer Centers, Inc.

David Raether 4/26/2010 Davidraether (talk) 01:21, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Lance Rest
Wrote an article on the lance rest that can be found at: User:Thjothvitnir/Lance Rest from what appear to be reliable online sources, one of which is the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's relatively short but fills a gap in the elements of medieval armor group. Thjothvitnir (talk) 05:42, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * A very good start on the article, I have moved it to the mainspace.  GB fan  talk 11:45, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

InZero Systems
hello

User:Quinnbrent/new_article_name_here

Preferred Hotel Group
I would appreciate any feedback on the following article: Preferred Hotel Group This is a work in progress and more updates and information will follow. Kpmtk19 (talk) 16:23, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

User:superldm/Miroamer
Hello! I've made some correction of my page which is User:Superldm/Miroamer. Could somebody please help me to check if it is okay to publish the page in Wikipedia? If okay, I will put it in the mainspace. If not okay, could you please tell me what should I alter to make it available please? I appreciate any of your recommendation of what things I need to improve.

Superldm (talk) 01:33, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Davidwlo/Anshen & Allen
To Whom It May Concern:

Please review my article at User:Davidwlo/Anshen & Allen.

I truly appreciate your time, comments and suggestions.

Thank you.

--Davidwlo (talk) 01:14, 28 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Good start. I think the history section should be rewritten. It currently is just a list of milestones in the companies development.  It should be written in paragraph format.  Statements such as "It is now considered" should be rewritten to specify who considers it.  You can probably move this to the mainspace if you want to.   GB fan  talk 16:55, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

The Wi-Fire by hField
This article is about a product called the Wi-Fire. It is made by a company called hField Technologies Inc. This article details its specifications and other usability statistics and information.

The page also gives an overview of the Wi-Fire's uses (where it can be used, as well as many other examples of use) and gives a description of how to install the product.

Grave Disorder (novel)
Grave Disorder (novel): User:Techeric46052/Grave_Disorder

Page looks good and cites several sources from the media.

One of my concerns is how to publish it, since Grave Disorder already exists. Is there any assistance for making a disambiguation page?

Thanks! :)

Techeric46052 (talk) 14:14, 28 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I do not believe the article is ready for the mainspace at this time. There is a strong possibility that if the article is put into the mainspace as it currently exists it will be tagged for speedy deletion under the unambiguous advertising criteria.  Even if rewritten to remove the advertising laguage it still probably wouldn't survive.  There is indication in the article that it meets any of the criteria in the proposed notability guideline for fiction.  The notability guideline is the best place to find some ways to establish notability.  If you need any clarification let me know.   GB fan  talk 16:09, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Magnificent Baby
Magnificent Baby Magnificent Baby



Luvlab2 (talk) 15:25, 28 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Link to article User:Luvlab2/Magnificent Baby  GB fan  talk 16:11, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The article is not ready for the mainspace. There are no sources at all in the article and no indication as to what makes this company notable.  To get the article ready for the mainspace you would need to add reliable sources to the article that provide significant coverage of the company.  This article as it currently stands would be quickly tagged for speedy deletion if it were moved into the mainspace.   GB fan  talk 16:15, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Kizer Energy Inc.
Kizer Energy Inc.
 * Article deleted Author requested  GB fan  talk 21:44, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Whitianga Festival of Speed
Whitianga Festival of Speed. My first Wikipedia Article - A brief outline of the Whitianga Festival of Speed in New Zealand. Brendanshanahan (talk) 16:47, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Taedeat
Taedeat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:IgnyteZero/Taedeat) IgnyteZero (talk) 18:06, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

A short article on the swedish blackened death metal band Taedeat.
 * The band doesn't seem to meet the notability requirements of WP:MUSIC. - Reconsider !  09:46, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Barbara Kellerman (Acdaemic)
Dear Wikipedia editors:

Would it possible to have the following page for Professor Barbara Kellerman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Kellerman_(Academic) show up under the "Kellermann" surname category (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kellerman)?

Professor Kellerman is a Professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and this page is about her career and work.

Currently only Barbara Kellerman the actress is shown. I would like to have Barbara Kellerman (Academic) also show up. Moreover, is it possible to have Barbara Kellerman (Academic) automatically appear when typing in the search field?

Please tell me if there is anything I can do to help in this process.

Your help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Best, Mike
 * I have added Barbara Kellerman (Academic) to the Kellerman page. I have also added a hatnote to the Barbara Kellerman article to direct people to the Barbara Kellerman (Academic) if that is who they are looking for.  The Barbara Kellerman (Academic) article need to have refernces added to it.  As a biography of a living person it will be under increased scrutiny to ensure all the information is corrent in it.   GB fan  talk 20:42, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

35H00060 Battery Series
User:Bobh00000/35H00060_Battery_Series Bobh00000 (talk) 01:56, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Frazer-Nash Consultancy
I'm putting together an article about Frazer-Nash Consultancy and would appreciate some feedback, the articles currently at User:Stephenpenndb7/Draft of article. Thanks Stephenpenndb7 (talk) 15:34, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Frankly, I see no evidence of notability for this firm, and would suggest that such an article be speedily deleted under speedy deletion category A7: no evidence or credible assertion of notability. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  21:00, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Crabapple, Texas
Can I please get a review of Crabapple, Texas so that we can get the "new unreviewed article" tag removed. Maile66 (talk) 15:57, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Done! -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  21:02, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Dakota Jackson, Furniture Designer
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dakota_Jackson,_Furniture_Designer

I have recently researched and written a new entry about American furniture designer Dakota Jackson. I just moved it to go live and I would like some feedback about the article. Thanks!

new article
Could someone please look at [] and give me some feedback. It's been waiting to be reviewed for quite some time now. Many thanks Bowl4u (talk) 23:50, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

Linzi Wilson-Wilde
Linzi Wilson-Wilde Jimwhiskey (talk) 09:44, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Link to the article, User:120.147.36.15/Linzi Wilson-Wilde  GB fan  talk 13:06, 30 April 2010 (UTC)