Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/Archive/27

Chicken Talk With Rooster Shamblin
Please read my chicken blog and tell me how to improve it. http://roostershamblin.wordpress.com/   Dennis Shamblin 5/20/2010  —Preceding unsigned added by 166.204.179.151 (talk) 14:40, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry, but this is a forum to provide feedback to existing or draft Wikipedia articles. SPhilbrick  T  17:37, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

Himalayan Cataract Project == ✅ I could use your help in making this labor of love Himalayan Cataract Project a more compliant Wikipedia article. I need help with links, style, edits, and general flow. We hope that this article will not be removed for minor technicalities. Your input is greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Salwa and Anya Kayguarnay (talk) 21:53, 10 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Sorry to take so long to get to this. I think the thing to focus on with this article would be to get additional reliable sources to establish notability. As it stands the article has only the project's web site as a source, and that won't do. What you need are sources like books and articles in magazines or newspapers. Foreign sources are ok if you can provide translations on request. This might help. See also WP:CITE for guidance. Drop me a note on my talk page when you have incorporated more sources and I'll take another look. -- Nuujinn (talk) 01:08, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

Amitabh Mitra
I have created an article on Indian born South African Poet, Artist and an Orthopaedic Surgeon, Amitabh Mitra. Please give any advice to make the article look better. Thanks

Shubhoshreemitra (talk) 16:20, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Main issue for me is the external links--are they supposed to be used as sources? if so, make them footnotes. External links should be few in number, so remove extra ones.  — fetch ·  comms   19:27, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Eastside Heritage Center
Please review this page on the Eastside Heritage Center, a nonprofit organization in Bellevue, Washington: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sustainablejackie/Eastside_Heritage_Center Sustainablejackie (talk) 07:15, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
 * An interview you conducted constitutes original research, and their own website is not independent, therefore not a reliable source. You need to use sources such as news articles, magazines, books, etc. to show the center's notability.  — fetch ·  comms   19:26, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

World Surfing Reserves
World Surfing Reserves

Thanks for any help.

199.4.18.2 (talk) 17:49, 21 April 2010 (UTC)ljameskelly
 * Please add independent reliable sources (like news articles, magazines, books, etc.) to establish the reserves' notability.  — fetch ·  comms   19:29, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Daniel Lubetzky
Daniel Lubetzky Daniel Lubetzky http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Zevzigler/Daniel_Lubetzky 4/21 Hi, Thank you for your help! Please let me know what you feel is needed to have this page go live? If it is ready - please let me know.
 * Created, seems OK as a start, but I suggest more reliable sources, as always (and especially as this is a biography of a living person, all facts need to be attributed to a reliable source).  — fetch ·  comms   19:30, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Alex Day article by User:Wmoran9550
A question has been raised about the notability of this article's subject. I have explored this issue in detail on the article's Discussion Page. I'd appreciate it if anyone had the time to look through this Discussion and offer further ideas for resolving this issue. Thanks. Bill Moran Wmoran9550 (talk) 16:58, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
 * After talking with the creator and reading over the article, I think that it's fine.  — fetch ·  comms   19:28, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Whitianga Festival of Speed
Whitianga Festival of Speed. This is my first article. The Whitianga Festival Of Speed is a motorsport event in New Zealand that has been running for two years. I would appreciated any feedback on this article, thanks.

Brendanshanahan (talk) 14:06, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Is created, seems OK.  — fetch ·  comms   19:17, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

PickUp Podcast
User:Olgpa/Pickup podcast

Would love to see your feedback on the article. Thank you. LyoP 14:04, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Well, it's already been created. Seems good at first glance.  — fetch ·  comms   19:16, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

inclusion of President's classical Tamil Awards
KINDLY INCLUDE THE DETAILS AND THE LIST OF PRESIDENT'S CLASSICAL TAMIL AWARDEES IN YOUR DICTONARY.

THANKS.
 * Wikipedia is not a dictionary, and I'm afraid you will need to request an article at Requested articles. This page is for requesting feedback on improving an article.  — fetch ·  comms   18:14, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

PineApp
The article, PineApp, is a new article on the firm PineApp. It has been up for two weeks and still no comments/changes. Requesting feedback. Also, when can the tag "new unreviewed article" be removed? Thanks.LindseyEKerr (talk) 12:05, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll put what I think in a minute, but the tag is removed after someone's reviewed the article - they can remove it themselves. Let me just read the article... Chevymontecarlo . 18:51, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Well, with articles on businesses you have to be careful with the tone. Articles aren't supposed to sound like adverts. That said, the tone in your article seems to be OK. There's a nice amount of references and links, although I am concerned about the notability of the article's subject (Basically, is the article's subject been featured in something independent and major). I will remove the tag for you, as I have reviewed it. Chevymontecarlo . 18:56, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

David Pearl (Businessman)
Please could this page be reviewed, many thanks - its David Pearl (businessman), here's the Wikilink as directed in feedback instructions David Pearl (businessman)

Kurt K Hahn (talk) 16:23, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Where on earth did you get that reference style? I've never seen anything like it. To be honest, I don't like it, and it is making it difficult to look at the content itself.-- SPhilbrick  T  00:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, in my opinion I think you should use the normal reference style, the one with the brackets, instead - just for more comfortable reading really. Apart from that I think you have a good article structurally, it's nicely organised. Chevymontecarlo . 04:51, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

List of Google Doodles
I created the article List of Google Doodles and I want to know how I can find information on Google Doodles or if anyone else can find information on Google Doodles. I also want to know if the article is any good, or if it seems like it was written by an 8th Grader. Any help would be appreciated.-- RayqayzaDialgaWeird2210 Please respond on my talkpage, i will respond on your talkpage.    11:11, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Maybe Google itself? If you're looking for more information on a subject, you should ask at the WP:RD instead. Hope this helps. Chevymontecarlo . 05:45, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I have made some formatting improvements to the part of the article that's like a timeline. I hope you don't mind, but I think it improves readability. Chevymontecarlo . 05:49, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You could use something like : . Killiondude (talk) 23:29, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much this all has really helped.-- RayqayzaDialgaWeird2210 Please respond on my talkpage, i will respond on your talkpage.    10:34, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

Carcharocles chubutensis
I have created my first article on wikipedia and would appreciate some feedback on it. Link is: Carcharocles chubutensis. --LeGenD (talk) 12:22, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Excellent. I removed the "unreviewed template". -- SPhilbrick  T  22:16, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Girls of Riyadh
I edited your article about the book "Girls of Riyadh" because it was not appropriate to the story of this book. You immediately deleted my changes which have cost me some work trying to improve your site. All Information I have entered I got from Rajaa Alsanea' s book itself which I have read and which, at least in the German version, also displays the story behind the book, how it became a book at all and how her blog was discussed before it became a book and for how much it was sold under the counter. It is interesting that you classified that all as "vandalism". Just two minutes ago I visited her website www.rajaa.net where I read (I know that she received many insults anyhow) that she got even death threats because of her blog and her book. I would like to ask you to add that as well as everything else which I have edited to your article "Girls of Riyadh".

and : if you don' t want to display correct information and don' t want anybody to help you, just stop asking for "entries". I have to say I am angry.

took me : only several hours only to be told I do "vandalism". How about correcting that and leaving me a note or an excuse why your system works as bad as that ?

Read the book yourself, visit her website yourself, talk to her if nobody can do it better than you yourself. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 80.187.106.182 (talk) 00:22, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Can I just say no one person creates any article, hundreds or even thousands of users are involved in improving the article. Just because another user reverted your edits doesn't mean that they have a grudge against you. You can post why you think your edits are important on that particular article's talk page. Thank you. Chevymontecarlo . 05:36, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I would also like to add that a better place to discuss this kind of information is on the article talk page. This page is for feedback on new articles not for content disputes.   GB fan  talk 23:20, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Adelaide Benevolent Society
I've just created the page 'Adelaide Benevolent Society', at the request of this longstanding Adelaide charity. I've done a lot of reading on Wikipedia, but I'm still unsure about References. All information has been gained from the Adelaide Benevolent Society itself. Appreciate any input. Page is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adelaide_Benevolent_Society

Michelle Prak, 10 May 2010, Michelle JP (talk) 04:24, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You will need some references because as soon as it is moved into the public area of Wikipedia it is likely to just be speedily deleted. You can visit WP:CITE or this page for more information about putting references into an article.

Many articles use the 'footnote' method. If you are unsure you can ask on the WP:HD. I hope you understand. Chevymontecarlo. 05:42, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I think the society is notable, but the article needs a lot of work. You need to add references from reliable sources so that the information can be verified.  The article right now is closer to a website for the society rather than an article about it.  I also think the article is almost to close of a paraphrase of history section of their website.  If you need clarification let me know.   GB fan  talk 23:07, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Robert Turnbull Macpherson (photographer)
Greetings! As this is my first Wikipedia article, I'd appreciate some feedback. The article has had 2 minor edits by others, but after more than a month still retains its "new unreviewed article" status. I'd be very interested in opinions about what other information would be interesting to readers. Thanks for your time!

GoldenDaze (talk) 15:56, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Nice article! I moved it to Robert Turnbull Macpherson (there is no need for disambiguation), cleaned up the formatting a little and added some project templates to the talk page. I think it's definitely worth a nomination for a "Did you know?" spot on the main page - I'll see if I can come up with a good hook to use. – ukexpat (talk) 16:32, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Dang, I just checked the history and the article is a little too old for DYK - has to be 5 days or less. Anything else you are working on? – ukexpat (talk) 16:35, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Thanks Ukexpat for the comments and updates. I'm planning to expand the article, in particular with information about what makes Macpherson's photography both technically and historically significant, but I have a bit more source reading to do first. Any thoughts on other areas for expansion would be appreciated! GoldenDaze (talk) 16:56, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Ian Villafana
Ian Villafana

Ian Villafana

72.207.237.93 (talk) 04:09, 11 May 2010 (UTC) 5/10/10
 * You have a good article in the making there. It's got plenty of links and references, which is always nice and keeps it out of deletion territory. One issue I have with your article is the style. On Wikipedia you have to try and be neutral, the text cannot be opinionated or biased towards or away from the article's subject, otherwise it is not encyclopedic. Your article does not have a point of view, but some of it maybe could do with some rewriting. Hope my thoughts help you and good luck with improving your article. Chevymontecarlo . 11:47, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

Seeker Wireless
User:Elliot Sumner/Seeker Wireless

Hi - would appreciate any advice you guys might have as to the validity of this article with regards to notability, citations etc.

The subject is a company but it's intended to be as objective as possible.

Any tips much appreciated.

Thanks

Elliot Sumner (talk) 07:11, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
 * My biggest concern is the lack of references from reliable sources indicating that the company is notable. While you have included three references - the first is (IMO) reliable, but does not mention Seeker. The second mentions Seeker, but may not qualify as a Reliable Source. The third is a Press Release, which can be used, but does not count in terms of reliable sources. Which means you have either zero or one source - more are needed.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:19, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks very much Sphilbrick - I've updated the refs (added 2 new ones, and swapped the last for a Straits Times article) - do you think this is enough? Elliot Sumner (talk) 03:53, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, much better - I removed the unreviewed template. Thanks for your contribution.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:45, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Bengomori/George_Gomori_(poet,_writer,_scholar)
done Hi there

Added a page for my father who is a celebrated Hungarian poet and writer - there's already a George Gomori listed on here so have pt the differentiation in brackets.

only the second thing I've added so not sure if I've done everything right to get it submitted and reviewed —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bengomori (talk • contribs)


 * Few points: You are related to the subject and therefore have a conflict of interest, so you edits will be heavily scrutinised for a neutral point of view. Having said that, your father is almost certainly notable per the guidelines at WP:BIO and WP:PROF, but that notability must be supported by citing non-trivial coverage in multiple reliable sources (note that other Wikipedia articles cannot be used as references). So you will have to find some sources that can be cited. Your father is clearly a very prolific writer, but long lists of publications are not necessarily encyclopedic(and could at worst be considered promotional), so you should probably reduce that list to his major publications, those that have won awards for example. I have made a start Wikifying the article with links to other articles, and I am sure more could be done. When the article is moved the title should probably be George Gomori (writer). I hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:50, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

[b]Most of the books in the bibliography are out of print - hardly promotional!

Sources to be cited - there is one in the external links at the bottom. Do you mean I have to cite some in the body of the text itself? [/b] —Preceding unsigned comment added by Bengomori (talk • contribs)

Khaled K. El-Hamedi
done I have tried to do some enhancements on the artical " Khaled K. El-Hamedi " and would like from you to help me with your oppinion on it ,,, Thanks --Sami70 (talk) 11:29, 27 May 2010 (UTC)


 * (Posted on users behalf by  Chzz  ►  18:35, 27 May 2010 (UTC))
 * I think this is an excellent article. The info box is great, there are plenty of links, there are references (but not that many for the first parts of the article) and it definitely needs no extra work to be Wikified. The only issue I found is with the references - there aren't that many for the opening or 'education' section, and in the 'humanitarian activities' section the references seem to be only for the last few sentences, so maybe a few more references should be added to the sections that I have just mentioned. Hope this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  18:58, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
 * In general it's not bad, but it may require some copy-editing. - Reconsider !  02:21, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Vhiruz/Trenton_Technology
done Hello,

I would like to get some feedback my article about the company Trenton Technology, User:Vhiruz/Trenton_Technology. I want to know if the notability and POV are encyclopedic.

Thank You,

Vhiruz (talk) 20:55, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I think it's pretty good - it is notable, has references, wikilinks, and an infobox. It could use more summary, but that's okay. Would you like me to move it into mainspace for you? ~Qwerp Qwertus  |_Talk_| |_Contribs_| 22:51, 27 May 2010 (UTC)
 * (In direct response)It seems to have good notability and an appropriate pov. ~Qwerp Qwertus  |_Talk_| |_Contribs_| 23:13, 27 May 2010 (UTC)

Yes, please graduate it to the mainspace and I will work on improving it from there. Thank you QwerpQwertus. ~ Vhiruz (talk) 12:32, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Chemicalinterest/Nine Mile Run (New Jersey)
done Here is another article that I created. Suggestions are welcome. I plan to create a gallery of photos for it. --Chemicalinterest (talk) 16:39, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Please add multiple independent reliable sources in order to establish the notability of this run. All articles should have sources to support the facts in them.  — fetch ·  comms   19:33, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Qube Condos
Qube_Condos My new article has been in place for a month or two and nobody's removed the "this is still new" tag.

The building really needs a photo here, but I'm not local to it to make my own photo, and I don't know how to obtain public permission to any ot the many photos of this building on the web. I suspect I'm stuck with no picture, but would appreciate someone confirming that.

My writing style looks choppy with many very short paragraphs. But if I combine paragraphs it is worse.

Gossg (talk) 00:08, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I removed the template – looks OK for a start. I agree, a picture would be helpful, a picture partway through construction would be ideal.-- SPhilbrick  T  12:04, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

Once Sphilbrick took out the "new item" tag, is it my responsibility to remove the request for comment from this list? Gossg (talk) 05:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)


 * (note, Phil answered this bit on user talk  Chzz  ►  22:20, 28 May 2010 (UTC))

Die defect (coin)
I have created an article about two general types of error dies and there respective coins. Could someone provide a source for publicly available pictures of examples of these coins? I am a coin collector myself and have many examples of each, but I do not have a scanner or digital microscope with which I can upload my own work. Also, if anyone is also an expert on the subject and would be willing to contribute further sub-sections with varieties and examples of each, that would be great. General feedback would also be much appreciated. Thanks! Optiguy54 ( talk ) 22:48, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
 * You could try Flickr, but make sure the images are of uncopyrighted coins.  — fetch ·  comms   19:24, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Toshl
I just written the first attempt of an article, about a software called Toshl, Toshl. The article will stay in my userspace until I am sure its good enough to try to go public. I am not 100 % sure how to link it via wikilink since its not live yet, therefore I will just allow myself to publish direct html link to it: User:Andraz3d/Toshl.

Since this is my first try of writing an article (I did edit one many months ago and around 30 % of my text was accepted in the now live version of the article), please, be gentle. I am also not a native eng speaker, so my flow could be very cumbersome.

Andraz3d (talk) 16:32, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You may want to review Wikipedia's guidelines on linking, you have duplicate links in the article, as well as links to reviews and external cites while simultaneously having a large amount of writing that is unsourced. You might want to change some of the reviews/external links into sources and use them to support the article. Also, the article reads a bit like an advertisement rather than an encyclopedia article and might need some rewriting. ialsoagree (talk) 12:35, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Lewis Machine and Tool Company
My article is about Lewis Machine and Tool Company Lewis machine and tool company

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks --Iskor12 (talk) 13:09, 12 May 2010 (UTC)


 * The article is not ready for the mainspace. It needs to be completely rewritten in your own words.  The article borders on a copyright violation of http://www.lmtdefense.com/about.php
 * From the article
 * Lewis Machine & Tool Company (LMT) was founded in 1980 to provide the US military, law enforcement and government agencies with weapons, components, and modular weapon systems.
 * From http://www.lmtdefense.com/about.php
 * Lewis Machine & Tool Company (LMT) was founded in 1980 to provide the US military, law enforcement and government agencies with high quality weapons, components, and modular weapon systems.
 * From the article
 * The MRP is a one-piece lightweight upper receiver with an integral forend.
 * From http://www.lmtdefense.com/about.php
 * The MRP is a one-piece lightweight upper receiver with an integral forend.
 * These are a couple of examples of the close paraphrasing or complete copy from this one source. It would be better to start from scratch and write the article in your own words. The company appears to be notable and I think it should have an article, just not this one.  If you need any assistance let me know.   GB fan  talk 15:13, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

I will rewrite the Company Information section completely in my own words. Give me a couple of hours. "The company appears to be notable and I think it should have an article, just not this one." This made me chuckle a little. I appreciate your incite and I will work on making improvements upon my article. I will post a update on here after I am done. Thanks --Iskor12 (talk) 15:52, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

GB Fan--- I have rewritten my article and I was wondering if you or someone else could take a look at it again. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Lewis Machine & Tool Company Thanks--Iskor12 (talk) 17:11, 12 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I looked at it again. I have added a tag to it asking for more inline citations.  Instead of having the list of sources, add the information as references with inline citations such as the one to the company website that is already in the article.  Once you use one as a citation remove it from the Sources section.  The article should also have relevant wikilinks from this article to other articles as well as links from other articles to this one.  Overall the article is much better than it was last time.   GB fan  talk 18:18, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

GB Fan: I have looked over my article and have changed my sources into references, just as you said. I believe that I have done this properly, but just in case I didn't, could you please take a look at it again. Thanks for the suggestions, for they are much appreciated.--Iskor12 (talk) 19:56, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The article looks a lot better, good job. I have removed the tag about the references because it does not apply anymore.  There are ways of making the references better using the Cite template, but I am not the person to ask as to how to use it.  I use the format you used.  If you need any more assistance let me know.   GB fan  talk 18:20, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the help. I greatly appreciated it.--Iskor12 (talk) 18:32, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Gay Apostolic Pentecostals
Gay Apostolic Pentecostals

New unreviewed article. (more than 24 hours old) Would appreciate it if someone could review it and offer feedback. Thanks!

This article is a brief history of the Apostolic Pentecostal movement in the LGBT community since 1980. Also briefly explains the theology.

BroWCarey (talk) 18:09, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The article had been reviewed, and the tag removed, by the time I got to see it.
 * I looked briefly at the history, and it had many issues early on, but is getting better fast. Nice work.
 * I don't see that there are neutrality concerns mentioned on the talk page, nor do I see (in a cursory review) blatant problems in the article, so I'm removing the remaining tag. I will post a note to the editor that left it in case the concerns are not yet alleviated.-- SPhilbrick  T  12:35, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

heritage commodification
I would very much appreciate feedback for my article heritage_commodification. This article looks at the way that heritage and cultural expressions become commodified within the context of cultural tourism, and the ways that local populations mitigate threats to their individual culture in the face of capitalist expansion and the Western tourist desire for an "authentic" experience.

Thanks so much! Justintyrell (talk) 08:05, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * It's an interesting and meaningful topic, but I fear the "article" reads like original research and synthesis, which is not what we do here. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  17:11, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

Raghunath Thakur
There is no details of great Madhesi Martyr Raghunath Thakur, he deserves to be in wikipedia. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Sujthr (talk • contribs) 13:01, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You can request an article be started at Requested articles-- SPhilbrick  T  13:57, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

One Montgomery
Article on citizen diversity group in Montgomery, Alabama. Needs review by another editor. —Preceding unsigned comment added by AlaDon68 (talk • contribs) 14:35, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Check out Article Layout, in particular, the discussion of sections. A lede section, followed by two or three sections would be nice.
 * The Notability is sketchy - I personally have a lower hurdle than some, but some others might feel it needs far more.
 * I was unable to open any of the three online links. Is there a problem with them?
 * There's a number of factual claims begging for references, e.g. the description of the organization as not an "activist" organization but rather a forum for networking and education-- SPhilbrick  T  21:38, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Jonathan Goldman
This is my first article and I'm not sure how long to wait before someone checks it out and verifies it. I'd appreciate any feedback! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Cda3001 (talk • contribs) 18:14, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Link to the article, Jonathan Goldman  GB fan  talk 18:19, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I did an initial read of the article. At first glance it looks good, but after looking at just the sources provided the notability is questionable. I have not looked to see if there are additional sources available.

References:
 * 1) The NY Times article mentions him in passing, this is not significant coverage.
 * 2) His association's website, this is not a reliable source for information.
 * 3) I have never heard of Perfect Sound Forever online music magazine, so I can not comment on the reliability of the source.
 * 4) I do not have access to the book written by Goldman.
 * 5) I do not have access to the book.
 * 6) Passing mention that he produced the the album.
 * 7) Once again passing mention of him in an article.
 * 8) There does not appear to be any mention of him or his association in the article at all.
 * 9) A review of one of his albums.
 * There needs to be significant coverage of him in reliable sources to establish notability, right now the coverage is not shown in the article.  GB fan  talk 18:55, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

Port of New York and New Jersey
Port of New York and New Jersey= Floated this awhile ago, and believe it's pretty comprehenisve, though missing stuff on current drydocks and tugboat operations which remain a mystery and insider secret it seems. Might be other blind spots....Fresh eyes would be nice. ThanksDjflem (talk) 19:23, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I think it looks pretty good. The layout of the beginning is a bit awkward (although it will look different for different people.) I thought the picture of the harbor on the right was nice, but the ToC and the Statue of Liberty on the left made the flow a bit disjointed. Consider moving the picture of the Statue further down, or possibly remove (not unimportant, but you have another one lower in the article.


 * Consider expanding the lede to three or four paragraphs. See Lead, especially Length. -- SPhilbrick  T  17:20, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Msaarima/Monolith_Software
Hi,

Just created a page describing a software company. I'd like some constructive feedback!

The article is User:Msaarima/Monolith_Software. I will add a Logo once my user profile has become a man.

Thanks! Msaarima (talk) 21:37, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I think it looks fine, although you should add some categories (after it is moved). Would you like me to move it into article space?-- SPhilbrick  T  17:07, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

SWASH (Clothing product)
SWASH (clothing product)

216.115.176.7 (talk) 21:54, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Your article needs to be more neutral in it's tone - it sounds like an advertisement at the minute. Please consider making changes to it's tone. Thank you. Chevymontecarlo . 12:15, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

Clayton Doley
Could you please give me some feedback on the article I have created for Clayton Doley

Missmusicgirl (talk) 02:46, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You have some items labeled as references, they are not formed as they should be. As a guide to including references properly, please see Citing sources and footnotes.
 * Presumably, the links you provided support the claims in the "Song Writer" section? If not, you need to add references.
 * Your "Musical Director/Television" Starts with a poorly formed sentence- not sure what you intended to say. The claim in that sentence should be supported by references.-- SPhilbrick  T  19:03, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

1972 Sennichi Department Store fire article
Hi, I have removed the whole article that you posted here. In future please just add the link to the article rather than copying and pasting the whole thing onto here. It just saves cluttering up the forum area. Please send your link again in a new request to avoid confusion. Thanks. Chevymontecarlo. 12:13, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

How to post a request
 * Use a wikilink to the article as your subject heading.
 * Write a brief summary of your work, but please do not post the text of the article here.
 * If you have rewritten an existing article, you may wish to provide a diff link from the article's history that shows your changes.
 * Sign your comment.--64.22.204.94 (talk) 12:17, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

Earthdance
Earthdance This is my first wikipedia article on Earthdance, the global festival for peace. I look forward to your feedback! Brettdarrens (talk) 06:04, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I started reading the opening paragraph and the first thing that came to my mind was the Point Of View of the article. 'The world's largest' seems a bit biased in style - Wikipedia articles are supposed to be neutral in tone. Your article has a good structure with a useful amount of links and references, but I think the neutrality of the article is something that maybe you should think about making improvements to. Chevymontecarlo . 11:10, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Adelaide_Benevolent_Society
Hello

The page I've contributed is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adelaide_Benevolent_Society

I've been asked to provide References, but I'm finding it really hard to learn how to do this. Everything I look up leads to more and more info. And what's a reputable reference? And how the heck does the code for the Reference page work?

The article has been proposed for deletion. I'm unsure why Adelaide Benevolent Society isn't a charity of note, if it's South Australia's first charity, still in existence, still building homes for people in need. It's a not for profit and is only sharing factual information on Wikipedia which may help it reach more people in need.

Potential reference I was going to cite: http://www.samemory.sa.gov.au/site/page.cfm?u=530&c=1727

Appreciate any input. Thank you. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Michelle JP (talk • contribs) 06:48, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
 * As a guide to adding references, please see Citing sources and Referencing for beginners. -- SPhilbrick  T  19:10, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

United States Court System
I have been searching for "Block Diagrams" of the various Court Systems in the United States. Virtually at a glance, when properly labeled and defined, Block Diagrams can help convey a rather symplified version of somewhat volumnous and complicated subject matter information, increasing retention of the subject matter in a relatively shorter period of time, while a relatively small space is used to convey such information. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.217.200.139 (talk) 07:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
 * This is a forum to help people who are writing articles for Wikipeadia. It looks like you are trying to ask a question about something else; you might try The humanities reference desk-- SPhilbrick  T  19:15, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_talk:Articles_for_creation/Audio_Secrecy
I have a created an album page for post-grunge band Stone Sour's latest album. Any feedback and/or tips would be good. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Richard.darren (talk • contribs) 09:00, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You have a nice well-written article there, but the references are something that you should maybe take a look at - the whole article relies on one other Internet page. Chevymontecarlo . 11:05, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Webb Mountain Discovery Zone
Webb Mountain Discovery Zone

16:02, 14 May 2010 (UTC)Alexandra Mack, May 14, 2010 —Preceding unsigned comment added by Lxmack (talk • contribs)
 * I have a few ideas for improvements:
 * Add some more links - Links help with readability. Although there are a few links in the article already, you could link to a few more articles.
 * Write an opening paragraph - An opening paragraph which provides a brief overview of the article's subject is always useful. I think you should move some of the sentences from the 'Overview' section into a paragraph at the start.
 * Add a few more references - You have made a good start adding references to the article, but there could be more. Try looking around the Internet for more information and you could also add useful sites to an 'External links' section. Remember that there are also many valuable references and sources that are not on the Internet. You can use those for your article too.


 * I hope I've given you some decent feedback. Good luck with your article! Chevymontecarlo . 11:03, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Alternatively, as the section called "overview" is really a lede, you could remove the section heading and make it the lede. See WP:LEAD for more info.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:29, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

The Sure Thing
I have taken a first swipe at expanding the page for the movie The Sure Thing. Please give me your feedback and any suggestions for improving it further. Thanks. Dohhh22 (talk) 03:44, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice work. I personally think that one shouldn't use two column references when there are this few, but that may just be personal taste.
 * Are there any reviews of this movie? Including them would be nice.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:25, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

My System Security (Rogue Antivirus) article
I would like my artile checked. It is called System Security (Rogue Antivirus) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Napeyga (talk • contribs) 14:02, 15 May 2010 (UTC)


 * System Security (Rogue Antivirus) Link to your article. The main problem that I see with your article is that you don't have any references at all.  References/sources are necessary to back up the information that is in your article. --Iskor12 (talk) 15:36, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Additionally, one of the important requirements of an article in Wikipedia is that it demonstrate the Notability of the topic. (While this is a guideline, not an absolute requirement and exceptions can occur, they are rare.) I don't feel this article has demonstrated the notability of the topic. This can be accomplished by adding references to reliable sources which support the notability of the topic.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:22, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

tales of pirates 2
Come check it out —Preceding unsigned comment added by Rockshell (talk • contribs) 21:50, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Immediate issue I found with this article - it needs some more references and links. Although you have done a good job, there needs to be more references and links to help the reader out and to keep it from being deleted. Hope this helped. Chevymontecarlo . 15:56, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_John_%22Tym%22_Tymczyszyn
I have tried to source this article the best I can on the web without having access to a lot of 1960's and 1970's magazines but it seems that someone or a automated system keeps trying to delete the article. This person's name was listed in various other wikipedia articles and his name did not have a wikipedia page, so I tried to make one but this doesnt seem to be going well???

What can I do?

I really appriciate your feedback.

Thank You —Preceding unsigned comment added by JohnTym1 (talk • contribs) 22:21, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The article itself looks fine, although it would be nice to reference the induction, but I'd like to know what you mean regarding the picture, where you say you created it yourself. Isn't is a copy from here? If so, that's a copyright violation.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:01, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
 * However, now having looked at the text, it looks like a copy from the same source. Unless you can convince me that the City of Lancaster copied the wording from you, this is a copyright violation.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:06, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The wording is virtually identical, so I have identified it as a copyright issue, which Wikipedia takes very seriously. Sometimes there are acceptable reasons for identical wording, in some cases, we've found that some other site has copied the Wikipedia wording, sometimes the wording has come form another place but you've obtained permission, or both sites may have copied from a public domain site. The first doesn't appear to be likely, if it is one of the other two examples, permission must be provided. Or perhaps there's another explanation.-- SPhilbrick  T  23:20, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Abdulrahman al-Ansary
I'm requesting feedback on the new article: Abdulrahman al-Ansary. Any constructive comments would be greatly appreciated. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Arabiandesert (talk • contribs) 00:16, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice work, I can't see any immediate issues with it. I've gone ahead and made some minor changes. - Reconsider !  13:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you! Arabiandesert (talk) 18:23, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

Roger Enoka
Roger M. Enoka is a professor and chair of the Department of Integrative Physiology at the University of Colorado at Boulder. He is also the director of the Neurophysiology of Movement Laboratory. Dr. Enoka earned his M.S. and Ph.D. degrees from the University of Washington in Seattle, WA.

His current research interests include the neuromuscular mechanisms that mediate the acute adjustments and chronic adaptations experienced by humans in response to physical activity. Specifically, his laboratory has studied muscle fatigue and the consequences of healthy aging.

Dr. Enoka's textbook for undergraduate and graduate studies titled "Neuromechanics of Human Movement" was revised in 2008 and is in its 4th edition of publication with pulisher Human Kinetics.

References

External links
 * Roger Enoka's Curriculum Vitae
 * Enoka Lab Webpage
 * Enoka's Textbook - The Neuromechanics of HUman Movement

Redbnr22 (talk) 14:02, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

Looks like you are tying trying to write an article here. It is better to start a draft in a user subpage, check out Article wizard for help in starting an article, which you have used, but see the option to move your work to a user subpage.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:29, 17 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Yes, this forum is for getting feedback and reviews that you have already written. Chevymontecarlo . 15:54, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hilton_III
Hi -- I'm not sure if this is the right place to post -- i'm just trying to avoid COI.

I noticed a couple years ago that somebody had created a wikipedia page about me, and updated a couple of things. I noticed again today that it hadn't been updated with a few key facts (e.g. I'm not a PHD candidate any longer, I graduated.)

So I made some small changes, but I'm happy to roll those changes back if you feel that there is a COI problem.

Thanks.

Johnhiltoniii (talk) 16:43, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The ideal situation is to post suggestions on the talk page, with links to sources for verification, then let some uninvolved editor check out the source and make the change.


 * However, from WP:AUTO:
 * In clear-cut cases, it is permissible to edit pages connected to yourself. So, you can revert vandalism; but of course it has to be simple, obvious vandalism and not a content dispute. Similarly, you should feel free to correct mistaken or out-of-date facts about yourself, such as marital status, current employer, place of birth, and so on. :(Note it on the talk page.) Be prepared that if the fact has different interpretations, others will edit it.-- SPhilbrick  T  19:25, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

Ben Wynter
User:Icecold1704/Ben Wynter

Requesting feedback on an article I have writen on UK Record Executive Ben Wynter.

—Preceding unsigned comment added by Icecold1704 (talk • contribs) 16:56, 17 May 2010 (UTC)


 * This is almost word-for-word identical to the last deleted version, and like that has been deleted as hopelessly promotional. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  16:09, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

Camila Alves
Feedback for Camila Alves I'd like to know if now the article is right done. Cause, I've been working in the sources, references, links and it keeps going to the first version. I'm working on trying to explain whos is Camila Alves. Since, we have 3 models with the same name at this moment and we want to explain who is each one. Felixrob (talk) 22:08, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I think the opening paragraph needs a bit more work. At the moment it's a bit brief. Maybe you could add the DOB in there or something? The article is nicely organised into sections, which is great, and the references and sources are good and there's just enough of them, but I think a few more references/sources need to be found. Hope this helps. Chevymontecarlo . 11:51, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

Roos Instruments
Looking for someone to review my post on Roos Instruments. A semiconductor ATE manufacturer that has many inbound references... Filled large hole in the semiconductor test industry.--Rbenech (talk) 02:17, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Nicely organize, but I do have a couple concerns. Some of the language comes across as a bit promotional, more like a sales brochure than an encyclopedia. Not blatant, but phrases such as:
 * ATE capabilities at costs normally associated with bench top test equipment
 * easily upgraded in the field
 * increases the flexibility
 * unique
 * aren’t quite in keeping with the goal of neutrality.
 * In addition, it is important to establish the notability via references to reliable sources. You do have a couple references, but you should find discussion of this company in other media, ideally general media, such a newspapers.  SPhilbrick  T  12:41, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

Loch_Long
User:Penfold77/Loch_Long This is my write up for a class of wooden sailing boat. Looking for feedback as to whether it's ready for going live, it's my first wiki page. Cheers. I have reposted this; the first seems to have been lunched by the archive bot or something.Penfold77 (talk) 02:23, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Very nice start. One of the important aspects of any article is the establishment of notability via references to reliable sources. While you do have several entries in a reference section, there is a particular way references are done in Wikipedia. Please checkout out WP:CITE and footnotes for more info. SPhilbrick  T  11:56, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

SecMsg
SecMsg I have just completed my first article on SecMsg. Requesting feedback for the same.Constructive comments are welcome. Divya1006 (talk) 05:00, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Hi. In case you don't know already, the article you have linked to is proposed for deletion because the concern is that it is not notable enough. Sorry about that. Please try improving the article by adding more links and categories to make it more notable.

Other than that deletion proposal, it's actually quite a nice article. Plenty of links, got some categories, sections...it's only the references/sources that I'm concerned about. I think there should be a few more. Remember that there are many valuable references and sources that are not online. Chevymontecarlo. 12:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Hansonbe "Swanson Health Products"
Hello, I'm looking for feedback on my user draft about Swanson Health Products. I've had some help along the way from one editor, you can see our dialogues in my user talk page. So as not to catch you by surprise and for full transparency's sake, yes I am a Swanson employee and am aware of the potential COI issue. Please take a look at my draft User:Hansonbe and let me know what you think. Thank you in advance for any criticism you provide. Hansonbe (talk) 13:41, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry, while I can tell you are trying for neutrality, it reads like it was written by an employee.
 * There’s a reason this approach is discouraged.
 * The anecdote about a golf game hampered by arthritis – not referenced, presumably known about by word of mouth. If this had been part of a newspaper story about the founding of the company, perhaps OK, but as an unsourced personal anecdote, not appropriate.
 * I’m guessing the FDA incident is an attempt as balance, and that’s a good sign, but while the incident is sourced, the claimed remedy “To ensure compliance with the regulations of the FDA, SHP adjusted the ingredients in their red yeast rice supplements to fall within the acceptable range” is unsourced.
 * You have a number of references, but I see zero examples of discussion of this company in general media sources, or even trade publications beyond minor entries.
 * I wish I could be more positive, but I don’t feel it is suitable in the current state. SPhilbrick  T  14:04, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * It shouldn't have been a userpage; I moved it to User:Hansonbe/Swanson Health Products where it belonged. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  16:30, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

Don Yaeger
User:Nolegirl27/Don_Yaeger

Nolegirl27 (talk) 14:32, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I concur with the tags added to this article. Too promotional in tone, among other problems.  SPhilbrick  T  17:00, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

Ella Chi
Ella Chi Claire Paxton-Rider (talk) 14:39, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * If you mean User:Claire Paxton-Rider/EllaChi, it's a horrifying mess. It reads like some cloying style-magazine writeup written by her press agent, and completely lacks the proper detached and impartial tone. I've done my best to clean it up, but I'm not at all sure it's salvageable. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  16:28, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * It should be noted that Paxton-Rider has just admitted on my talk page that she is a publicist for the subject of this article. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  17:03, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Maybe they should stay away from writing articles like that because of their obvious bias. It ruins the article. Chevymontecarlo . 12:01, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * After a certain time in the industry, they seem to become tone-deaf to the difference between copywriting and legitimate prose (or perhaps it is just those types who are drawn to the trade). They also seem to lose (if they ever had) any sensitivity to the concept that not everybody approves of this kind of shameless shilling. Claire posted on my talk page that she is "a plugger, not a publicist"; an incomprehensibly subtle distinction that reminds me of the social hierarchies in prisons between the various types of felons and misdemeanants (different kinds of murderers and rapists get different levels of status). -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  14:07, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

House 2 Home Network
House 2 Home Network

User:Hust18/House 2 Home Network

(Hust18 (talk) 23:36, 18 May 2010 (UTC))


 * Hello, Hust18! I think that your article is pretty good - it is encyclopedic and has a neutral tone. It does have some problems, such as grammar, things like the headings (they aren't really like standard headings), and it could be slightly longer, but those things can be worked out by the community if it gets put up on the main space - try reading this to help familiarize yourself with the codes and stuff used for things. But, I like it! I hope it gets onto the mainspace!  PS: To make section headings, put two equal signs around the title like this - "== Your Section Title Here ==" .  ~ QwerpQwertus |_User Page_| |_Talk_|  Help Me Improve Wikipedia Thanks! 00:12, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

Harold W. Jones
Request feedback on draft article name User:Cliffewiki/Harold W. Jones 01:09, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * One thing I found - an infobox would something useful to include in the article. The template for this is here. You can also include the picture that you have there at the moment in the infobox too. Please ask if you have any more questions concerning the infobox. :) Chevymontecarlo . 11:56, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The article could also do with some categories - you can add these to the bottom of the article after the External links section. Try searching around for categories like 'American Colonels' or ask for sutiable categories at the Wikipedia Help Desk. Categories list your article with similar articles and increases the number of views it gets from readers. I hope my thoughts help you. Chevymontecarlo . 11:59, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

Behavioral Geovector
Hello,

I am new in Wikipedia and I request some help. I have written an article in Wikipedia : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_Geovector. I need some review on the article because it doesn't respect some rules of Wikipedia : peacock items, advertisement and conflict of interest.

Please help me find out how can I correct those mistakes.

Thank you.

Regisdub (talk) 08:09, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry to report this, but I don’t see an easy fix for this article. It is written like an advertising brochure, not an encyclopedia article. It actually sounds like a wonderful device, but the article sounds like it was written by an employee of the company trying to sell the concept, not a neutral description of the device supported by independent reliable sources. SPhilbrick  T  11:40, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I suspect that you used the brochure or website of the company to help writing the article :) you have to be careful when you are using those sources as it can end up sounding like it's an advertisement. Chevymontecarlo . 11:57, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

GOProud
GOProud is an American conservative gay political group. It achieved notoriety in February 2010 by being the first gay group to cosponsor the Conservative Political Action Conference.

I would appreciate feedback of the article currently in my userspace at User:Praxidike/GOProud Praxidike (talk) 19:47, 10 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Looks very nice. I took the liberty of converting the washington post reference to cite news and made it a named reference (easier to use that way). -- Nuujinn (talk) 17:05, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate your help with the edits, too. Praxidike (talk) 18:11, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

Daniel Owen Stolpe
Hi,

This is the first article I've written on Wikipedia:

https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Daniel_Owen_Stolpe

If someone has time to review it I will make the necessary change before I submit it. Thanks. Have a great Day.

Wikifoo2u$9c —Preceding unsigned comment added by Wikifoo2u$9c (talk • contribs) 01:53, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
 * One issue I have with the article - it could do with more links to other articles. This helps with readibility (if the reader is unsure of a particular word or term, they can click on it and visit the article which will tell them more about it. I suggest that you add links to the places in the articles, such as US, California, etc. Hope this helps! Chevymontecarlo . 11:50, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

The Nelson Touch
done

I would be grateful if someone could review my proposed article at User:Ykraps/The Nelson Touch. I have already received some feedback on it and made some changes. I believe I have satisfied all the criteria now and look forward to the next step (whatever that may be). Regards --Ykraps (talk) 10:27, 22 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Looks like a fascinating article, and will be a nice addition to Wikipedia, but I see a few details that should be addressed.
 * The opening "The Nelson touch is" isn't a complete sentence.
 * Per Manual of Style, your first image should be right-aligned
 * The main text should be left-aligned, not indented.
 * Don't use an asterisk ("sections*") to denote a footnote, use a footnote.
 * Your references (e.g. Nelson the Admiral - Colin White) need to be complete citations so readers can track down the reference, if desired.
 * Make sure every factual claim can be traced to the references - I see hints of possible Original Research.
 * Remove the placeholder external link, it is provided to show you how to do it. -- SPhilbrick  T  11:07, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

I have reformatted the article (image on the right etc).

I have added page numbers to the references.

I don't think there is any original research in the article and I think I have referenced everything but if you can tell me exactly which part is worrying you, I will take another look.

I really struggled with the footnotes. I hope I have done it correctly.

With regards to the 'placeholder external link', I am afraid that I don't know what that is. Please excuse my ignorance.

I would be happy to receive any more feedback and advice. Regards--Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

The placeholder external link is just a temporary example to show you how to add external links to an article. Once you know how to add external links (using the example.com link in the placeholder) you can delete the placeholder link and replace it with some of your own which are relevant to the article. Hope this helps! Chevy monte  carlo  11:54, 25 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I think I've now fixed that too, thanks. Are we good to go now? :) --Ykraps (talk) 15:23, 25 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks much better now. Could use a little more in terms of reference structure - bet some of the citations could be found at Google Scholar - e.g this I'll move it.-- SPhilbrick  T  02:00, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

Information Strategist
Information Strategist

I request a review of this page. It is still inwork and your input would be valued.

Information Strategist is an emerging discipline in the field of information management. Having information is not enough. The information strategisit is a master of content whose challenge is to get the right information to the right people at the right time and at the right place when it is needed. He does so by organizing around processes and structuring the operations to deliver the right information.

GeoBub (talk) 17:46, 16 April 2010 (UTC)Jim Bogden BUMP  Chzz  ►  01:29, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

Now Information strategist

Following Articles for deletion/Information strategist and some rewrite, the article appears valid and stable.  Chzz  ►  03:15, 29 May 2010 (UTC) ✅

North Island Credit Union
North Island Credit Union []

I am an employee at this business, so want to disclose that up front. I've endeavored to provide information that is "publically accessible" and appropriate. I've done my best to present it in a neutral fashion and tried to reference whenever possible.

This is my first wiki, so be kind. There is more to be said about the credit union, but I felt that a good introductory presence is fair and proper for this business. Thanks so much.

JAMES62-1 (talk) 19:30, 19 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you for being up-front; that's great, and we'll try and help.


 * The use of primary sources is OK, for simple factual statements, however all articles need to demonstrate "significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the source". The awards helps, but more would be better. I'd like to see some information coming from newspaper articles about the company.


 * Your links to other Wikipedia articles are done incorrectly. For example, you put;

...defined in its credit union charter.


 * ...which displays as:  ...defined in its credit union charter.


 * Instead, you should put...

...defined in its credit union Charter.


 * which displays as:  ...defined in its credit union Charter.


 * You can also link from one thing to another, called a 'piped link'. For example, I am a dentist. displays as: I am a dentist.


 * See WP:LINKING.

Please address those issues, and ask again, so that we may be able to move it to the live area. Always ask for help if you need it; the quickest option is to talk to us live, with this or this.

Best,  Chzz  ►  20:15, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Sunset99
User:Sunet99 User:Sunset99 Name will be Construction Imaging Systems when posted.

This article provides information about a company, Construction Imaging Systems. This company supplies document imaging software and hardware to primarily the construction industry.

Feedback requested.

Sunset99 (talk) 20:00, 19 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Articles require significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject - WP:VRS, WP:GNG. Apart from the sentence about the mag, the article is either primary-sourced, or unreferenced. Please use facts from independent, reliable sources such as newspapers.


 * External links should not appear within the main body of the article - see WP:EL.


 * Use wikilinks to explain things like dba, and document retention - the 'code' I used there was, dba, and document retention


 * (As an aside here, the article Retention period is a bit rubbish; perhaps you could help improve it? Please?)


 * Present neutral, factual information. For example, you wrote a diverse group of public and private companies - this is opinion, not fact; who says that they are diverse? And so on.


 * Please avoid the corporate jargon; it is a viable solution that has been sold to other verticals - I have no idea what this means.

Most importantly: Stick to cold, hard facts supported by independent, reliable sources. And ask for more help as you need. You can get rapid help with this or this.  Chzz  ►  20:30, 19 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Moved it to User:Sunset99/Construction Imaging Systems, where it belonged. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  14:11, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

weekly comic book review
Looking for feedback. I want to make sure the blog's notability is apparent. Weekly Comic Book Review User:Bestbeast/Weekly_Comic_Book_Review Bestbeast (talk) 00:35, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The notability is not apparent from the information in the article. Only one of the references in the article are from a reliable source and that source does not mention Weekly Comic Book Review. The other sources in the article are either to Weekly Comic Book Review itself or to Wikipedia neither of which is a reliable source.  To establish notability you will need to include references that are independent of Weekly Comic Book Review and provide significant coverage. I hope this helps you improve the article, if you need anything else let me know.   GB fan  talk 00:58, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

InZero Systems
hello

User:Quinnbrent/new_article_name_here
 * I'm not seeing how this is notable--Google shows less than 3000 hits, so we really need a lot of reliable sources.  — fetch ·  comms   19:23, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

Preferred Hotel Group
I would appreciate any feedback on the following article: Preferred Hotel Group This is a work in progress and more updates and information will follow. Kpmtk19 (talk) 16:23, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry but it comes across as a promotional puff piece. Organizations are notable when they are the subject of multiple articles in reliable sources. While you have included four references, three appear to be internal industry material, very possibly not qualifying as a reliable source. The Conde Nast ref is probably OK, but it barely references the article subject if at all. It reads more like a PR summary than an encyclopedia article.-- SPhilbrick  T  21:12, 30 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I have tagged it (and the user page draft) for speedy deletion as spam. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 6 May 2010 (UTC)


 * This article is written in the same tone as Marriott International and Intercontinental Hotels Group and is far from spam. Instead of making suggestions or allowing time to add additional references (which there are MANY) speedy deletion is not the answer. I have seen many articles that have been sited for lack of references or notability since 2008 - why has this article been deleted so hastily and without opportunity to improve? Kpmtk19 (talk) 13:20, 7 May 2010 (UTC)


 * It was speedily deleted because that's what we do with blatant spam. If it was just a question of tweaking the tone, the reviewing admin would not have deleted it. I suggest that you ask the admin (User:Athaenara) to undelete the article to a user subpage so that you can work on it further before it is moved to the mainspace. – ukexpat (talk) 13:59, 7 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I did that last week (see log) but it has not been edited since then. I'll delete the userspace version after two weeks have passed unless there's a strong argument here for keeping it around.  – Athaenara  ✉  10:17, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

The Nelson Touch
I would be grateful if you could review User:Ykraps/The Nelson Touch. The 'Nelson Touch' is already mentioned in the main article about Lord Nelson but I felt it needed some elaboration as it doesn't give the whole story. There is also some debate about the phrase on the discussion page and there is no definitive answer within Wikipedia. I have already considered editing the article but thought it would make it far too messy, also I feel the phrase is sufficiently well known to warrant its own section; whether that is within another article under a sub-heading or on its own, I'm not certain. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Many thanks for your time --Ykraps (talk) 08:54, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The article needs work. The article needs inline citations to associate the different references listed to specific points within the article.  It also needs to be wikified with links to relevant articles added.  The last thing I have right now is that there are some peacockish words one of the phrases is: "Nelson's genius for leadership . . ."  I will try to come back and look again.  Hope this helps.   GB fan  talk 22:52, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

I have added the citations, wiki links and replaced the word 'genius' with the word 'talent' which I hope you will find more acceptable. I would appreciate a second look :) Regards --Ykraps (talk) 07:14, 14 May 2010 (UTC) BUMP   Chzz  ►  02:27, 29 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I think you have done a very good job with the article. The article would probably benefit from having a lead paragraph (basically the opening paragraph you have) and then breaking the rest of the article into sections.  I have removed the userspace draft tag since the article is in the mainspace and has been reviewed.  GB fan  talk 11:05, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness
Hello

I posted a request for feedback over a week ago (14:36, 16 March 2010 (UTC)). Since most of the requests posted after mine have been responded to, i can only assume that mine somehow got inadvertantly buried in the pile... so i am reposted my request here.. but leaving out the short bit of old comments which may have been mistaken for a response..

i would really appreciate some feedback...

User:AgRince/Social Science Research on Greatness is my first wiki article.

i've rewritten it in my user space as per suggestion of one of your editors (ukexpat) who moved much longer initial version of it out of Afd back to my userspace, suggesting that i "...take a look at the tone, construction and flow of articles on similar topics to see how they are written and structure this article similarly..."

I looked at several articles on related topics, and then settled on one which most closely paralleled what i am trying to achieve re giving useful information in my article.

the model article i used is the wiki article on Multiple Intelligences

my article is now virtually the same length as the M Int article, and this despite the M Int article covering ~25 years of soc sci research while mine re Greatness covers over 100 years. I collapsed my summaries of major books into a few short paragraphs each. (eg Cox's book is over 800 pages, Eysenck's is 350 and virtually inaccessible to the lay reader).

I also referenced everything. (except the one specific lulu ref – Dorris (2009) – which I need to get an ok to use as lulu in general is black listed…)

Can you tell me if the current version is ok to resubmit for consideration as wiki article? if not, any suggestions very much appreciated AgRince (talk) 16:09, 25 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello. I've just found your open request - even this one has been buried again - we're planning on making a few improvements so that doesn't happen in the future, though. As to the article, I think maybe an opening section should be either written or moved to the top, before the first section and very briefly summarising the article. You have done a great job with the references, it must've taken you ages, and it's brilliant. Well done with the article. If you want to move it into the mainspace, I'm afraid you'll have to ask someone else as I am not familiar with the process of it. You might want to ask on the Wikipedia Help Desk, or just make a small comment on a new section on this forum. Hope this helps and I am sorry that your request has been buried again :) Chevy  monte  carlo  18:42, 29 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Hi, and congratulations on the work you've put into this. I'll begin by saying that I really enjoyed reading what you'd written - it's certainly very interesting - and that I am impressed by your attention to detail. I regret that what I have to say next will please you less, though: it's my opinion that the article would probably have a difficult time if it were resubmitted in the mainspace, that someone would probably nominate it for deletion again. It might survive such a nomination, but I doubt it. From my perspective it's just far too broad a topic, and the selection of publications to draw upon for it is (imo) necessarily an arbitrary choice from among thousands of works.  I imagine you'll not agree, but it seems to me that you're trying here to arrive at something like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", and I recall that book's author stating that he'd synthesized the results and ideas of hundreds of books about how to be great.  I do realize that you're trying to present "Social Science 'Research'" here, but I just don't see it working; I'm sorry. I think you might have to be content with the fairly large number of edits drawing on the same books that you made to the Greatness article. Do just as you please re resubmitting the article to mainspace, however, this is just one user's opinon. Good luck, Ohiostandard (talk) 04:33, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Abraham Lincoln Institute
I am working on my first article, an entry on an organization I am a part of named the User:Gleidner/Abraham Lincoln Institute. It is in my userspace and I believe it is close to ready (although I would like to make the institute's website a little more prominent than it is now--as a reference) but would appreciate feedback. I received some kind help from Wifione a few hours ago. Many thanks.

Gleidner (talk) 08:45, 8 March 2010 (UTC)


 * I have not looked at your potential new article, but your comment of "an organization I am a part of" immediately brings to mind Conflict of interest. You may already be aware of this guidance, but if not, it is well worth a look.


 * Derek R Bullamore (talk) 09:07, 8 March 2010 (UTC)


 * In addition to the above, please take a look at the notability guidelines for organizations set out at WP:ORG. To demonstrate the notability of the subject, you will have to cite significant coverage in reliable sources - the organization's website is not considered reliable for establishing notability. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 8 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Since nothing has happened to your draft after the posts above, I suppose you have been effectively discouraged from editing it. For my part, I find the draft useful and would regret if your effort was in vain. It appears NPOV and uncontroversial; the problem is that notability isn't demonstrated. Maybe a solution could be that you correct these faults and then somebody uninvolved creates the article based on your draft (and other material, if they see fit)? --Jonund (talk) 17:33, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

In response to Jonund and others, I have revised the article, adding 9 or 10 web references that I believe will verify notability and references, as suggested. I would be glad for someone else to write the article based on my draft. What is the best link to submit this draft to? Thank you. Gleidner (talk) 13:46, 20 April 2010 (UTC) Gleidner


 * Well, it may work if you submit your article to Requested articles and briefly explain what you want happening. It may take a while to get a response, but I would continue to keep checking back on the forum to see if you have any responses. Chevy  monte  carlo  05:08, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You may also want to post on the Wikipedia help desk and briefly explain what you want doing to improve the draft and making it into an article. Chevy  monte  carlo  05:09, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Lela and Raymond Howard
I just wrote the article Lela and Raymond Howard. This the first article I have ever written on Wikipedia so I would appreciate it if someone could look at it. I read all of the articles on how to create a page and am sure the subject is noteable. I posted it on the drawing board and received an ok to make the page.

What concerns me is that I have only one reference that can be directly verified. Several of my sources are newpapers articles that are not posted online. A couple articles were mailed to me from the refence department of a library in Texas. Also, all of the Austin American Statesman articles can be viewed online, but only if you have an online account with the newspaper.

I don't know what the protocol is in this case. The whole reason I wanted to create this Wikipedia article is that there is so little information on the subjects online. I had to do quite a bit of digging to find out the information I did. Please let me know if this is adequate or what I need to do to correct it if it's not.

Also I created 2 redirects. One on the Raymond Howard page and this one: Lela Howard. I am not sure I did the Lela Howard one correctly as it does not immediately redirect me back to the main article. I don't know if I did something wrong or if this is because the main article is under review.

Thanks for you help! Saintlouieb (talk) 00:06, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

I just fixed all the disambiguated links! Saintlouieb (talk) 00:23, 17 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I fixed the Lela Howard redirect. It was not working because of the line above " #REDIRECT... ". Station1 (talk) 00:42, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

Do I show sufficient notability? I have been reading the notability guidlines extensively the past couple weeks to see if this article meets that criteria. Can someone tell me if this meets the criteria for WP:BIO1E? I think it's right on the edge.

These people disappeared which made national headlines. If that were the end of it then they would not be notable. However, several times since then (I found three different newspaper articles), the issue has arisen of senior citizens and driving cars; should there be restrictions, additional testing, etc., and Lela and Raymond Howard's name comes up in those articles. Does that constitute ongoing coverage? Obviously they are never going to be in the news again for doing anything different.

Someone please help! Saintlouieb (talk) 17:29, 20 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I regret that I cannot help you, but please make a new request detailing your problem so that others who will be able to help can do so. It seems that your request has been buried by all the new ones :( Chevy  monte  carlo  18:58, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

Two new categories I would like reviewed
I would like Category:Adrenal gland disorder and Category:Thyroid neoplasm, 2 new categories I created recently, reviewed by a wikipedian with experience on categorization. Immunize (talk) 19:32, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Unless there's a good reason not to, I'd rename Category:Thyroid neoplasm to Category:Thyroid cancer. AFAIK the terms are equivalent, and most readers will know what "cancer" means but won't have a clue about "neoplasm". – iride  scent  19:42, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

The issue is that Thyroid adenoma, which is included in the category, is a benign thyroid tumor and thus would not fit into the category:thyroid cancer. Otherwise I would fully support renaming the category. Immunize (talk) 19:59, 18 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Fair enough – although it may (emphasis on "may") – be better to remove Thyroid adenoma from the category, and rename it. That way, the category can fit neatly as a subcategory of Category:Types of cancer, where I suspect are most likely to look for it. – iride  scent  20:05, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

How do you rename a category? I do not see a move tab at the top of the category page. Immunize (talk) 15:59, 19 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Categories for discussion (Cfd) is where deletion, merging, and renaming of categories is discussed.  GB fan  talk 16:05, 19 April 2010 (UTC)


 * And technical issues like this would also benefit from assistance from the folks at WP:MEDICINE. – ukexpat (talk) 19:43, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

I have proposed renaming the category to thyroid cancer, however, there has been an error, and my nomination somehow did not reach the CfD page. Immunize (talk) 15:04, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Request feedback on Multi-Image
Before moving the Multi-Image Multi-image - User:Tranquitas/Multi-image article to the Wikipedia, I would appreciate a review of the content and any feedback that can be provided. I am new to the processes here and while working on this article I can see how I might be able contribute elsewhere but want to make sure that any contribution will be correctly managed by me and that this article is suitable as well.

Thanks

Tranquitas 22:14, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

Still waiting for feedback, I have made several changes and the article is ready for a review.

Tranquitas 13:30, 14 May 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Tranquitas (talk • contribs)
 * Hello. Your request seems to have been buried by all the new ones so that's why you haven't been getting any replies. I have found a few issues with the article -

I hope this helped. Chevy monte  carlo  19:27, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Lack of links in the middle part of the "Multi-image business" section - there is a big chunk of the article here with no links. Please try and add some more relevant ones if you can :)
 * References - as with many articles, please try and work on adding references to your article a bit more. There are whole paragraphs in the article that are unreferenced and are likely to be discovered when the article is moved into the mainspace.

Chip Mabry
[]

Submitting for review by first time wikiuser. I also need to change the title to two names.

Jenntuerk (talk) 05:22, 3 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello. I have found a few problems/issues with your article:


 * Links - you need to add a few more links to other articles to help the reader. I recommend starting with place names and "general" terms such as "documentary" and "film".
 * Sections - please try and divide the article up into sections. This makes it easier for someone to read and to jump to the information that they want. You can add sections by doing something like ==Awards== or ==Personal life== to create the sections with that title.
 * References - try and find a few more references if you can, and then add them into the article. There is also a problem with the URLs of references 2 and 3 - I think you have missed out the http:// prefix and as a result they're not showing up as a link. Hope this helped and I apologise that it took so long for an answer - it's been buried by all of the new requests. Thanks! Chevy  monte  carlo  19:19, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
 * To other users - I have posted a notification on the user's talk page regarding the new message Chevy  monte  carlo  05:59, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Ecometrica
Article name: Ecometrica Ecometrica

User:BRELCO/Ecometrica

New page regarding Ecometrica company background information. Please provide comment on whether article is ready for publication on Wikipedia, and if not, how to improve it. thanks,

BRELCO (talk) 16:34, 16 April 2010 (UTC)


 * It's a decent stub as far as it goes, although you need to fix the link to University of Edinburgh (and unlink the second one), but it needs multiple independent sources to establish the company's notability. The Times Online article is an excellent source, but the Scotsman one is just a press release in a couple of short lines - a couple more good-quality sources would put the article on much firmer ground.  Ka renjc 19:14, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

User:BRELCO/Ecometrica Hi, I have made the identified changes and added some more sources now - would appreciate more feedback, thanks. BRELCO (talk) 14:19, 19 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I think you need to add a few more links to other articles. Chevy  monte  carlo  18:53, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
 * To other users - I have posted a notification on the user's talk page regarding the new message Chevy  monte  carlo  05:52, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Caucasian Lapwing
User: FranklinArizona

((Caucasian Lapwing))

This is just a simple entry referring to a fictional "character" in a novel. I am making this entry because some "rare bird alert" sites have had postings--whimsical, presumably--citing the appearance of the Caucasian Lapwing at popular birdwatching sites. There have been subsequent attempts by birders to identify this species, which of course they have never heard of. Wikipedia seems like the perfect resource to slake their curiosity.

I tried to upload an image of the cover of the book, which features a painted portrait of the bird, but alas I do not qualify under the 'autoconfirm' policy. Can you help with that? I am happy for forward the jpg image...

Thanks,

F. Arizona —Preceding unsigned comment added by FranklinArizona (talk • contribs) 17:31, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I found a few issues with the article -

Hope this helps :) Chevy  monte  carlo  05:43, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Amazon reference - it's not the most reliable reference to use - if you can please replace it with a reference from a more reliable source. I think you also need to add a few more links to other articles and more references.
 * Example external links - You can also remove the example.com external link from the article - that's just a placeholder to show you how to add external links.

User:Skyyates/Chandler massey
I am a new user seeking assistance on feedback on my user page. I am attempting to make a new live page eventually for Chandler Massey. Thank you for any assistance. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Skyyates (talk • contribs) 12:25, 7 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I have cleaned up the formatting for you per WP:MOS and WP:LAYOUT. You will need to find and cite significant coverage in multiple reliable sources to demonstrate the subject's notability per WP:BIO. Note that if it is moved to mainspace without at least one cited source, it will be tagged for deletion per WP:BLPPROD. – ukexpat (talk) 16:02, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your assistance. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Skyyates (talk • contribs) 10:53, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

One more quick question-- I am trying to get a picture into the Infobox but don't understand how to do it. I have uploaded a picture and have put it on Wikicommons and then put | image = chandlermassey.jpg but the picture does not come up. Thank you. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Skyyates (talk • contribs) 14:16, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Ah, it seems to have been fixed. Chevy  monte  carlo  06:11, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Persecution of Ottoman Muslims and Turks 1821-1922
Hello, I am currently working on an article Persecution of Ottoman Muslims and Turks 1821-1922 I would appreciate some advice on the article structure and use of references. The article covers the historical exodus of the Ottoman Muslim Millet until the final days of the Empire. These are historically cohesive and interlinked events with significant notability, I would also appreciate your editing opinion if it would be correct to just redirect the article topic to Persecution of Muslims as this seems constantly happening to the article. --Hittit (talk) 07:26, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
 * This is probably not the best forum for feedback on an article such as this one. Obviously, anyone reading is welcome to chime in if they have something to say, but editors writing their first article are directed here, as well as editors working on expanding a stub. For that reason, many of the editors that patrol this forum are used to addressing more basic issues. The article you link has been around for seven years, with over 1000 edits.
 * Normally, an article with this much history is best reviewed by the experts hanging around the relevant Wikiproject; in this case WikiProject Religion, and/or specialized noticeboards or talk pages of, say Citing sources for intricate issues regarding references. Issues such as titling are also best handled within the project or with an RfC. --  SPhilbrick  T  22:45, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

I noticed that a redirect has been inserted to the article leading to the wrong page, here is a link to a version: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Persecution_of_Ottoman_Muslims_and_Turks_1821-1922&oldid=360959487 Thank you for your replies --Hittit (talk) 04:17, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Modulor
Although I have kept most of the original text, I have expanded this article on Modulor to include inline citations and references. I have amended the examples given, replacing those that did not include citations with those that do. I would be grateful if someone could read the article through and rate it. Kenchikuben (talk) 15:19, 6 April 2010 (UTC)


 * I think it looks good, but this isn't really a venue for getting an article rated. You might take a look at WP:RGA -- Nuujinn (talk) 01:01, 11 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I wasn't really nominating it as a GA, it was more that I had added to an article that hadn't yet been rated and I thought that it should be. I didn't think that it was at a stage that I could ask for a peer review at WikiProject Architecture and previously I've had articles in a similar situation rated by volunteers on this page. Your guidance on this would be appreciated.Thanks Kenchikuben (talk) 13:26, 13 May 2010 (UTC). I've added this entry instead to WikiProject Architecture/Assessment. Kenchikuben (talk) 13:48, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

Juliet_rylance
Hi- Second time creator. Article has a lower case surname for the title (not sure how happened) and I don't think I have the authority to change it. Also, in my overzealousness I may have started a second article with the surname case corrected, but I am not certain. One of the pros out there can probably solve this problem in a matter of minutes... Also just posting to have it looked over generally, of course. Thanks very much.- Pollymod —Preceding unsigned comment added by Pollymod (talk • contribs) 21:32, 26 May 2010 (UTC) --Pollymod (talk) 21:35, 26 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll fix the name now (if it hasn't already been) if you are auto-confirmed (4days and 10edits), in the drop drown box by the star at the top, it should give you purge, move, and edit inside - you can move it to the new name in the future this way. I'll look over the article in a sec. ~Qwerp Qwertus  |_Talk_| |_Contribs_| 22:03, 26 May 2010 (UTC)
 * It's pretty good - (its notable and a good article), but you should add some references that not only show where you got info, but more why the topic is notable. Though I believe it is, this can keep it from being deleted or criticized about that. Maybe add the N.Y. Times mentioning (about fourth on Google search of it). ~Qwerp Qwertus  |_Talk_| |_Contribs_| 22:08, 26 May 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, QwerpQwertus and all others who helped! I plan on fleshing it out a bit more. I assumed an OBIE win would negate any notability issues, but that mind-set is perhaps a little New York-centric, and I understand your concern. Any way I will def add some more regardless. Thanks again!--Pollymod (talk) 22:25, 26 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure what "fleshing" and "OBIE" are, but, You're Welcome! Happy editing! ~Qwerp Qwertus  |_Talk_| |_Contribs_| 01:14, 27 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Kevin.dubienski
User:Kevin.dubienski is for a Calgary, AB, Canada member of the Conservative party, Donna Kennedy-Glans. The article includes a brief synopsis, summary of her career, and information on the books she has written. I think the article is close to ready but could really use anyone's advice on what I can do to make it 100% good to go.

I have read most of the available resources on properly writing and formatting for wikipedia so hopefully I'm on track. Thank you for your kind help and I look forward to learning more!

Kevin.dubienski (talk) 22:33, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Moved it to User:Kevin.dubienski/Donna Kennedy-Glans. User:Kevin.dubienski is for information about you, not for draft articles! Now as to the draft article: there is nothing here to indicate that she is notable enough to have an encyclopedia article about her. Just another Tory corporate lawyer in Alberta. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  01:20, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

User:Kevin.dubienski/Donna Kennedy-Glans thanks for the moving the article for me, I was a little unclear about the workings of my user page. So as you noted there is nothing here to indicate she is "notable enough to have an encyclopedia article about her" does that mean I have no chance of this article getting accepted? I was recommended previously recommended by User:JohnCD to revise much of the article (you can see these comments on my talk page) and am quite let down to hear that it looks like it won't work now. Is there anything I can do to make this better work? Thank you for your time User:Orangemike. Kevin.dubienski (talk) 18:23, 20 April 2010 (UTC)
 * You can show that it's notable enough for Wikipedia by adding reliable references and sources. You can also make it better by adding more external links. I hope this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  04:53, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

MadeinLocal
User:Ifranchino/MadeinLocal A second version of my article on MadeinLocal! I improved references, and I hope there are enough! All feedback is welcome, as it is my first article.

Thank you! Ifranchino (talk) 08:49, 16 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello. Your request has been buried by all the others and I apologise that no one has answered yet :) However, I will hopefully be able to give you some feedback on the article. The photo that you have used in the infobox has been deleted, and there could be a few more links to other articles added. Apart from that, I think it's a nice article. Chevy  monte  carlo  18:48, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

Lola Shoneyin - (advice on a subject that was deleted three years ago)
Lola Shoneyin

When I created a subpage in my user space I discovered that someone had previously submitted a page (about 3 years ago) on the same person and it was deleted for lack of notability. The notability has significantly improved now (And with the book also coming out in the US with a major publisher the notability will continue to rise) but I thought I had better get advice before I tried to go live with the page in case my judgement is wrong. I have put some references at the end. There are quite a few more of a similar nature (book reviews and interviews) and there are offline sources I can explore too. I thought I should check before spending too much time on this. Advice appreciated.

Brilligmon (talk) 18:12, 20 May 2010 (UTC) Thanks for the feedback on the article. Very helpful & I shall work on the weaknesses.

Brilligmon (talk) 10:47, 21 May 2010 (UTC)

Javier Cabada (artist)
I would appreciate any feedback and constructive criticism regarding an article I wrote on contemporary artist Javier Cabada. Thank you!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Javier_Cabada —Preceding unsigned comment added by Aaron Gallery (talk • contribs) 16:51, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You've done a good job with this article, but there's still work to be done. There needs to be a few more references added - try adding references to other websites if you can. I also suggest that you should perhaps move the list of Public Collections into a table - there's a template that you can use at Template:Table. Hope this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:36, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Personally I find Help:Table explains tables a little easier  Captain n00dle \ Talk 18:35, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

P.S. you can sign your comments by typing ~~~~ at the end! It looks like this by default: Example (Talk) 18:19, 30 May 2010 (UTC) And mine looks like this:  Captain n00dle \ Talk 18:30, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

The Special Law of Curvilinear Disparity: Feedback Request
Curvilinear Disparity

It is a political theory that posits that party activists tend to be more radical than either party leaders or normal voters - if somebody gets a chance, a review would be very much appreciated. Sorry for reposting down here but I think it got a bit lost in the traffic over the last few days. Cheers. Eoinjones (talk) 10:33, 16 April 2010 (UTC) BUMP  Chzz  ►  01:29, 29 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Nice article, well presented & I enjoyed reading it.
 * Hope you don't mind, but as I'm new to these reviews, I've just made minor improvements and therefore I've also removed the 'unreviewed' tag.
 * All the article needs now, IMHO, is links into it from related political articles,
 * so that the 'orphan' tag can be removed. I'll aim to do this over the next few days.
 * Trafford09 (talk) 14:50, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Excellent article. The references are a bit thin on the ground in places, though, so I think you should perhaps work on that. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:17, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * These links into it from related political articles may take me a while to add to, as this involves me changing other articles, which means me checking those articles' recent edits, and welcoming new users or chastising bad edits. But I don't think the links are too bad.
 * I'd archive this one (?), Chzz, and leave me or others to add in further links as & when we're able. Trafford09 (talk) 13:57, 31 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you all for your feedback and help. Eoinjones (talk) 12:01, 16 June 2010 (UTC)

susan gardner
User:Tonyremo/susangardner

I am requesting review of this article before it is made public. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

Tonyremo (talk) 20:37, 17 April 2010 (UTC)
 * good start, cleaned it up a bit, I would add the extra references into the article thought, insted of having them underneeth ==references== S ophie  ( Talk ) 19:52, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Tutorial (Citing sources) might be a good introduction to inline citations.  Captain n00dle \ Talk 16:44, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

XER014/Jewel Kid
Can someone please review my page and let me know what changes need to be done? I still need to upload pictures Thanks! Xer014 (talk) 08:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello. I have made many changes and improvements to your article. There were some spelling mistakes and other minor problems with the article which I've managed to sort out for you. I still think you need to work on the references - please keep on trying to find new ones that can be included in the article. Also YouTube cannot be used as a reference - please remove these references and add the links as external links instead. Chevy  monte  carlo  10:24, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Doc to Dock
Doc to Dock

Hi - Would anyone like to review this article? It's the first one I've written, and I'm eager for any advice I can get.

This article is about Doc to Dock, a nonprofit organization that sends unused medical supplies and equipment to needy hospitals and clinics in Africa.

I'm not sure how to sign this request, as I don't have tildes on my keyboard. However, this is Michael Schulze, writing on 4/26/10.

THANKS,

-Michael
 * I've never seen a keyboard without a tilde. Is there a key to the left of the key with the "1" and the "!" symbol? SPhilbrick  T  19:28, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello. One tip I have with writing posts on talk pages and forums on Wikipedia like this one - please sign your posts with the four tildes ( ~ ). This places a userstamp next to your post detailing when and who is posting. If you don't have a key that can type tildes on your keyboard, you can click the four tildes in the bar below the 'Save page' button at the bottom of the edit window to automatically insert the four tildes into your post. Thanks and I hope you understand. If you have any more questions please ask. Chevy  monte  carlo  10:26, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice article. Keep on working with adding links and references if you can. It's really great considering it's your first article! Chevy  monte  carlo  10:28, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I agree this is a quality start class article which will undoubtedly improve over time. Keep up the good work.My76Strat (talk) 17:57, 30 May 2010 (UTC)


 * I found the tilde! THANKS/; WaldoStanton (talk) 14:17, 1 June 2010 (UTC)WaldoStanton 6/1/10

User:superldm/Miroamer
Hello! I've made some correction of my page which is User:Superldm/Miroamer. Could somebody please help me to check if it is okay to publish the page in Wikipedia? If okay, I will put it in the mainspace. If not okay, could you please tell me what should I alter to make it available please? I appreciate any of your recommendation of what things I need to improve.

Superldm (talk) 01:33, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry, it reads like an advertising brochure, not an encyclopedia article. For example, it is full of peacock terms. -- SPhilbrick  T  20:48, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your reply! Could I just put it in the main space with the tag? If I do so, will Wikipedia editors help me rewrite my article in a neutral point of view? Thank you very much for your attention! Superldm (talk) 00:22, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The short answer - maybe. I would add the tag and also try and get help elsewhere to try and make your article more neutral. I recommend the Wikipedia Help Desk or you can talk to other users (including me sometimes) live at the IRC help channel. Chevy  monte  carlo  19:06, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

Staffan Göthe
Hi! I would be grateful for feedback on the article I created on Swedish playwright and actor Staffan Göthe. Perhaps it's worth mentioning that my private motivation for creating it was largely wanting to try creating a new article on en-wp, and thus I came to write about a subject where I don't really have previous knowledge after browsing Sweden-related articles for redlinks. (The one I actually found, I think, was to his play En uppstoppad hund/A Stuffed Dog, but it seemed to me at least in this case that the author was more obviously notable than the work.) Göthes article on Swedish Wikipedia provided a good ground to start from, and largely this is still based on that, adding inline references, information about Göthe as a screen actor, information on what works have been translated into English and rough translations of Swedish-only titles, and one or two things more. I have some ideas myself on what to work on when I find the time/get around to it, but I feel that at this point I can benefit a lot from someone else taking a look at what I've done so far and commenting. And of course, it's nice to see only that someone has actually read it... While working on the Göthe article I also created the stub Gothenburg Theatre Academy, corresponding to sv:Teaterhögskolan i Göteborg. If you (whoever replies to this, that is) feel ambitious, of course I appreciate if you look at that also. (There I think sources are a very obvious problem. The article title might be another - how established is this English name?) Ever wonder (talk) 13:25, 3 May 2010 (UTC)


 * Hello! And thank you for your article. I'm reading through your article and making these comments as I go:
 * You have included a lot of references which is brilliant! Each tag is meant to only include one reference/website/book. So your first "reference" you can split it into two references which would look like this: Swedish playwright[1][2]. Then when you have said "DramaDirectory (as above)" you can use the same reference so it would appear as another [2]. I hope I explained that well! When it comes to writing references, I find it easiest to use this tool: http://toolserver.org/~magnus/makeref.php which then uses a template to format the references consistently.
 * I can see that you have linked dates, for example: 1972. I used to do this all the time! But it turns out that you don't really need to, as it doesn't add much to the article. But kudos for trying to link lots of articles!
 * I noticed that you linked A Stuffed Dog which just redirects to the same page, you should probably remove this link as it might confuse people! However this redirect is a good idea, you might want to redirect The Road of Love and the other play titles, so that people can read about Staffan Göthe even if they can't read about The Road of Love or the other plays. Then later, if someone else writes about The Road of Love, they can link the two articles togeater.
 * I would try and change as many red links to related pages for example: Sweden Fantastic Film Festival or removing them (like the Grand Prize of European Fantasy Short Film in Silver link, this link is a very specific title for a non-existent article!).
 * Keep up the good work, I hope I have made sense and some useful comments. Thank you again for your request for feedback! Best Regards  Captain n00dle \ Talk 13:01, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Strippedman/doublethink_(band)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Strippedman/doublethink_%28band%29

This is a page for the band doublethink. Want some feedback before going live so it doesn't get deleted!

Strippedman (talk) 21:12, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Excellent article. The infobox is always a great feature to have in an article like this, and there's plenty of links and references. Chevy  monte  carlo  10:33, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * One thing that I would do is use this tool: http://toolserver.org/~magnus/makeref.php to format your references so that they don't just look like a list of external links. That tool lets you set a title and other fields. Best regards,  Captain n00dle \ Talk 17:28, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Jordan Harbinger's bio & AJ Harbinger
User:Olgpa/Jordan_harbinger_sandbox and User:Olgpa/AJ Harbinger

I have written the bio on Jordan Harbinger, but would like to get feedback before I upload it here Jordan Harbinger. Please also provide feedback on AJ Harbinger. Thanks. LyoP (talk) 06:53, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The first article seems to have been moved since, but it's nice. I don't think there are really any problems with it. However, I think the AJ Harbinger article needs a few more references. Chevy  monte  carlo  10:37, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't think that I can provide much feedback on AJ Harbinger but I might have one tip for you, you can add Db-u1 to anypages in your userspace that you don't need anymore and they will get deleted. Keep up the good work! Regards,  Captain n00dle \ Talk 17:49, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Benpatient/Democracy,_Vol._1
An article for an "unconventional" album by an established artist, which is being released 1 track per month each month of 2010.

My first new article.

Benpatient (talk) 16:16, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
 * It needs more references. Please try and add some more if you can :) If you don't, it's likely to be deleted. Chevy  monte  carlo  17:20, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * To add to Chevy's comment, you have to show that an article is notable enough for inclusion. It probably will be, because other albums by the same artist have wikipedia pages, however you have to show this with references. This might be a good example if it wasn't for his other album! ^_^  Captain n00dle \ Talk 17:56, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

CA Sports
User:Pakisalm/Ca_Sports My first article, Thanks for your help. Pakisalm (talk) 21:07, 6 May 2010 (UTC) pakisal Ca sports —Preceding unsigned comment added by Pakisalm (talk • contribs) 21:06, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello. It appears to be that your article was deleted and then moved into the mainspace here - CA Sports. I will provide a short review and a few comments on how suitable the article is for Wikipedia. Looking through it, I saw that there are  a few tone problems. In places (It was established in 1958 and has since gained a reputation for producing quality cricket equipment.) it sounds like an advertisement, and the official site has been used for a reference. I think you should try and work on improving the tone of the article to try and make it more neutral and suitable for Wikipedia. I think you should also try adding Wikilinks to the article, which are links to other articles.  Chevy  monte  carlo  06:29, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Hsu Dau-lin
Hello, I am drafting an article on the Chinese scholar of law, history, and semantics, Hsu Dau-lin (Xu Daolin). The link to my page draft is below. This is my first attempt at Wikipedia. I would appreciate some feedback to tell me (1) if I have formatting correct, (2) whether external links should be more directly related (3) whether external links should all be English webpages. (There is little online information about this scholar in English, although he moved to the US and taught in American universities for the last decade of his career.)

For the title, I have used the spelling of his name that was used by western colleagues and that he used when corresponding in German and English. I put the pinyin in parentheses. Is this acceptable? Or is pinyin the preferred Romanization on wikipedia, even to refer to those who died before its use was common?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:CHrabbit/Draft_Hsu_Dau-lin

Of course I would appreciate other suggestions as well.

Thank you so much! CHrabbit (talk) 15:43, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The formatting of the article is fine. It's great that you've added sections and included an infobox, but I think that you should perhaps add a few more web references to accompany the letters and books. The external links are fine and if there is little information in English that is fine, the reader can just use a basic web translation service like Google Translate to translate the page into the language of their choice. I think if you can perhaps you should work on adding more external links to the article, it doesn't matter if they are in a language other than English. Some external links might be better of in the references list. I hope this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  17:25, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

1907–08 Southern Football League
New article, final standings for the 1907-08 Southern Football League season. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Halldw (talk • contribs) 16:50, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Hello. One tip I have with writing posts on talk pages and forums on Wikipedia like this one - please sign your posts with the four tildes ( ~ ). This places a userstamp next to your post detailing when and who is posting. If you don't have a key that can type tildes on your keyboard, you can click the four tildes in the bar below the 'Save page' button at the bottom of the edit window to automatically insert the four tildes into your post. Thanks and I hope you understand. If you have any more questions please ask. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:19, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The article is severely lacking in references, and it will no doubt be picked up by a patrolling user when it gets moved into the main space. Please try and add some. Another thing I found is with the layout of the article - I think you should perhaps move the list of teams into a table - templates are available at Template:Table. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:21, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Bob Dutko
My article is about radio talk show host Bob Dutko who hosts a local and nationally syndicated talk show. 

This is a beginning article, there is a lot of biographical information out there but there almost all quote from the same two sources, the biography page on WMUZ.com and the bio section on the Top Ten Proofs web site. There was some unique information in the Modern Disciple article but I think this needs to be gleaned and added to the short article. Any comments are appreciated. Thanks --Jimhill10 (talk) 16:09, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Nice article. You may want to consider adding an infobox to the article, perhaps Template:Infobox radio show or Template:Infobox Radio Presenter. This will summarise the key points about the article's subject, so it's a good idea to include one. One last point - keep working on trying to add more links in the article. There's some there already but please keep trying. Thanks! Chevy  monte  carlo  04:52, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

Cyril Parfitt
Cyril Parfit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Fryder/Cyril_Parfitt

Hi, this is my first article. I would like my new article on this British artist to be reviewed. Thanks.

talk 13:05, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I think there are some tone problems with the article. At the moment it sounds like an advertisement. Please try and make it more neutral in tone, either by rewriting it or removing the sentences with tone problems, such as "has been acclaimed", "prolific artist" and "visionary artist". I have also made a few corrections to your links and references. According to the rules at WP:CITE, Facebook cannot be used as a reference. When adding links to other Wikipedia articles, you don't need to include the full URL of the other article, you can add  tags around the name of the article to add a link, like this link -> Loughborough. Hope this helps.  Chevy  monte  carlo  05:01, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

Toshl article update
Hi all

I would appreciate very much if you can take a look at my contribution and provide me with some critique, so I can modify it, upgrade it or, if its that bad, delete the article.

Article can be found here: Andraz3d/Toshl

thank you all.
 * Hello. One tip I have with writing posts on talk pages and forums on Wikipedia like this one - please sign your posts with the four tildes ( ~ ). This places a userstamp next to your post detailing when and who is posting. If you don't have a key that can type tildes on your keyboard, you can click the four tildes in the bar below the 'Save page' button at the bottom of the edit window to automatically insert the four tildes into your post. Thanks and I hope you understand. If you have any more questions please ask. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:06, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I have read your article, and I have come across a few issues:

It's actually quite a nice article - it would be a waste if it was deleted so please take the issues I raised into account. Good luck with your article :) Chevy  monte  carlo  09:10, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Some parts sound like an advertisement - Please think about rewriting some sections of the article as it sounds a bit like an advertisement - for example I don't think the prices should be included.
 * References - There are large parts of the article without references. If you can please find some, as there has to be references in the article otherwise it'll probably just get deleted.

Margaret Hope Bacon
Hello,

I wrote the article Margaret Hope Bacon and followed the suggestions and instructions for adding sources, references, links and categories. I was wondering if someone could take a look at it now to see if I've covered everything that is requires.

Thank you. Pamela Moore May 17, 2010 Pamela Moore 01:43, 18 May 2010 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Pamelamaggie (talk • contribs)
 * It's a nice article, but there's still work to be done to it. There seems to be a problem somewhere with the references - it seems that you've put the references both in the article and in the References section, which is something you don't need to do. If there's already references in the article with tags around them, they will appear automatically in the references section if you add the tag. I will try and fix it for you. Another thing I found is that you might want to consider putting the list of works into a table - there's already a template you can use for this at Template:Table.  Chevy  monte  carlo  08:16, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I have fixed your references and I moved the contents of the 'Awards' section into a table for you as well. I hope this has helped. Chevy  monte  carlo  08:30, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Another tip I have - on talk pages and forums like these, please sign your posts with the four tildes ( ~ ). This places your username stamp after every post you make, so other users can see who said what. If you don't have a key that can type tildes on your keyboard, you can use the insert function at the bottom of the edit window to automatically insert four tildes in after your post. I hope you understand :) Chevy  monte  carlo  08:33, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

User:Adrianvintu/Comparison_of_DEX_software
Hi all,

I translated a nice software comparison here User:Adrianvintu/Comparison_of_DEX_software for the Dic%C5%A3ionarul_explicativ_al_limbii_rom%C3%A2ne and I would like to hear your opinion if I can publish it and what changes do I need to make.

Thank you, Best regards, Adrian Vintu

Adrianvintu (talk) 10:02, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Some issues I came across with the article:

I hope these two points are useful to you and good luck with the article. Chevy monte  carlo  08:39, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Opening section - I think you should perhaps work on writing an opening section for the article. You may understand the article's subject, but the reader probably won't. It can be really brief - something like "this article provides a comparison of the different types of DEX software" would be fine and it would accurately summarise the article's purpose and subject.
 * Sources and references - References need to be included in the article to prove that what is being stated is true. Please try and find references from other sites that are reliable and add them to the article, preferably between two tags. If you have any more questions about this please ask.

Hello,

Thank you very much for your feedback. I changed the intro a little bit. Also added some text on the REF. There are no other sources unfortunately, just the yahoo group. I hope this will be enough though.

BR, Adrianvintu (talk) 07:48, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Omsjaryan/SmartSignal&oldid=362885936
I am on a third revision with this article and would sure appreciate feedback. Any comments/edits would be welcome. Thanks so much! Omsjaryan (talk) 17:45, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
 * That is a good article. The references are particularly well done in my opinion, but I would suggest perhaps adding a infobox to the article to help summarise the key information about the company. I recommend perhaps trying and using Template:Infobox company - scroll down to find the tags that you need to insert into the article to make it appear. Then, instead of writing about the key information in the article, you can have it all summarised in the infobox. Hope this helps. Chevy  monte  carlo  08:57, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

33 Beer
33 Beer I created this article because I noticed there was none for it. The notability of this beer is that it is an iconic part of the Vietnam War experience for hundreds of thousands of American GIs (now veterans). Jsarvey (talk) 13:56, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Sounds like it could be an interesting article. However, at present you have no citations to reliable sources, which are important to establish notability  SPhilbrick  T  16:51, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I fixed your link . You have the basic information there but you need to add more links to other articles. I recommend starting with the place names in the article. I also have a concern with the content of the article - if you can I think you should take a look at adding dates to the entries in the "History" section, if you can. Chevy  monte  carlo  09:01, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

SEARCH, The National Consortium for Justice Information and Statistics
I am new to Wikipedia and am hoping for some feedback on this article: SEARCH, The National Consortium for Justice Information and Statistics

Thanks so much!

Nonismom (talk) 21:56, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I moved this to a sandbox at User:Nonismom/SEARCH, TheNational Consortium for Justice Information and Statistics. Your userpage is to be used to let other editors and readers know about the human being behind the username Nonismom. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  14:04, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I think the article needs more links to other articles, please try adding a few more (I appreciate that it's hard to find articles to link to that haven't been linked to once already in the article, but please try). I also think there is a minor Point Of View problem with the article. Articles on Wikipedia are supposed to be neutral in tone and although you have written the article well in some places I think it sounds a bit like an advertisement and it then becomes non-informational and non-encyclopedic, which is something we don't want. I hope this helps :) Chevy  monte  carlo  06:37, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

Morris Jenkins
I am looking to get the Morris Jenkins company page reviewed. This is my first attempt at writing a Wiki artcile. You can see it here: Morris Jenkins —Preceding unsigned comment added by Morrisjenkins (talk • contribs) 12:53, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
 * There is no draft article. I see only a file uploaded, and I see your name has been blocked as a violation of policy.-- SPhilbrick  T  14:00, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
 * The "draft article" was moved into articlespace, and swiftly deleted as blatant advertisement. The username, as you note, was blocked as a spam username. -- Orange Mike  &#x007C;   Talk  14:05, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry about that :( Chevy  monte  carlo  06:38, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

Rhythm X
Hi there! :)

I was wondering if someone would be willing to provide feedback/review/remove the "unreviewed" template off my article for Rhythm X. No problem if there's a backlog or something; just wanted to be in someone's queue. :)

Thank you! StringUsername (talk) 08:35, 4 June 2010 (UTC)
 * The article is good - the infobox is great, there's plenty of links, there are a good amount of references, and the pictures help a lot. I would say that perhaps you should maybe integrate the contents of the 'Trivia' section into the article somewhere, as trivia sections are discouraged in articles. Chevy  monte  carlo  17:07, 4 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Ah, OK. I will work on it. I was largely parroting Music City Mystique's article, since they're a very similar group.  Thanks so much for your feedback!  :)  StringUsername (talk) 17:47, 4 June 2010 (UTC)

Little Thetford 2
Little Thetford has recently been through peer review. There have been some changes since, mainly to the lead and Economy sections, but some minor changes to other sections too, including the addition of one image. There is an active To-do-list which documents further work that may be added at a later stage. In the meantime, would someone have a look to see if it is suitable for GAN? Thank you in advance --Senra (talk) 16:15, 16 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Generally speaking, the requests that come to this page are from newer editors, so the focus is on basic issues of notability and how to do basic referencing. Obviously, if someone feels comfortable with the GA criteria, they can jump in, but it is my experience that GA assessment tends to be done by editors active in various Wikiprojects, as the specific application of the general criteria often are tailored to each project. Not to mention that people who have experience with such reviews (I don't ) are in a better position to help. If you don't know which Wikiproject applies, let me know and I'll poke around.-- SPhilbrick  T  17:47, 16 June 2010 (UTC)


 * According to Talk:Little Thetford the article falls within the scope of WikiProject UK geography. I had a look there two weeks ago and entered my name in the participants list. I went there again after your post. I was unable to see anywhere I could post a pre-GAN request for feedback. I am reluctant to pester the hard-working peer-reviewer (Rod talk) now that the peer review is archived. As a matter of interest, what is a newer editor? Whilst I concede that I have added 52 kilo-bytes since I started this exercise 17 days ago, I would still consider myself newer than a new one in a new thing! (Mis-quoting from Blackadder is a sin, I know. Sorry) --Senra (talk) 23:00, 16 June 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, the Wikiproject members or the peer reviewer would probably be the best people to ask. Also, I believe that technically, a new user is one who is not autoconfirmed. I think most people attribute it to how experienced you generally are with Wikipedia. Though I've done quite a bit so far in my opinion (1,900 edits and a rollbacker most recently), I've only been here around a month, so I'd consider myself to be relatively "new". |:-)~ Qwerp Qwertus  ·  _Contact Me_ · Get Adopted!   00:38, 17 June 2010 (UTC)


 * I think you're new if you consider yourself new and are still learning the ropes/guidelines; When I first started major work on an article I was weeks (months?) into editing and didn't know a thing about notability!
 * As for your article, if its been through a peer review without any significant issues its generally good to go for WP:GAN, the GA reviewer will typically guide you through any minor remaining problems. I can see several sentences (particularly at the end of paragraphs) without citations, though, which is reason for a fail. There's a lot of hidden notes, are any of them meant to be eventually cited and added? If so, do so- if not, remove them and move discussion to the talk page where editors can more easily collaborate.
 * So, prose and content looks good, but citations are needed for every sentence. If several sentences are backed up by a single reference, the citation can come at the end of the clump---but if one of those sentences is at the end of a paragraph, there needs to be a cite there. If you have questions, don't hesitate to leave me a note on my talk page. liquidluck ✽ talk  06:30, 17 June 2010 (UTC)


 * Acknowledged. Thank you both for your response. Yes. I consider myself new. I will work on the citations. --Senra (talk) 08:38, 17 June 2010 (UTC)