Wikipedia:Society for the Preservation of the Quazer Beast



The Society for the Preservation of the Quazer Beast is dedicated to the protection of the Quazer Beast and similar articles who find themselves at the mercy of article patrollers. Members pledge to go forth, find these articles, and see that justice is done to them. The Society also believes that the history of the Quazer Beast article serves as an object lesson in the perils of the Wiki model, as explained below.

The History of the Quazer Beast
The Quazer Beast was first sighted in the article space on October 3, 2005; like many articles on Wikipedia, it was created by an anonymous IP address. The original article contained valid wiki-links, was written coherently, and possessed a certain charm. It did not, however, contain any citations of any kind. This is not uncommon on Wikipedia either. The next day, another IP added links to relevant lists of mythological creatures on Wikipedia. On November 9, 2005, a bot came through and standardized the "See also" section of the article. That same day, another anonymous IP address came through and vandalized the article. This vandalism was reverted almost immediately by an established user. On December 28, the article received a belated (but still fitting) Christmas present: categorization and a spelling correction.

This is how matters stood until May 17, 2006, when Mackensen stumbled upon the article during random-article patrol. He was charmed by the story, but realized that he had to list it for deletion. His nomination says it all: This seems a perfectly normal article, and I hesitate to disturb its existence. However, I fear that it might be a hoax, as it contains no references, and Google turns up no hits other than Wikipedia and its mirrors. Mackensen (talk) 18:38, 17 May 2006 (UTC) The article went through the process of being deleted, and was eventually speedy deleted as a hoax. Roughly three weeks later, when Zoz was browsing his contributions to find a certain article he edited before, he noticed that the Quazer Beast link had mysteriously turned blue again. That ominous sign marked the return of the gruesome Quazer Beast to the article namespace. Knowing there was no time to lose, he took the initiative and listed it for a second AfD. This time, however, Mackensen acted swiftly to save the valiant Quazer Beast from deletion and moved the text into the Wikipedia namespace, where it now stands.

Purpose
The Quazer Beast was a perfectly normal looking article. After its creation it was categorized, copy-edited, and linked to; it was even vandalized once. That's the standard life cycle for an article. Except that the Quazer Beast is a hoax, and it isn't the only one out there. This Society protects Quazer Beasts by identifying them early on and treating them in a humane fashion, before they are subject to the throes of Articles for Deletion. Realize too, that there are many non-hoax articles which look exactly like the Quazer Beast but are not the Beast itself. Without sources, however, every article can look like a Quazer Beast. It is important that we recognize what is a Quazer Beast and what is not.

Quazer Beasts
Thus far 13 living Quazer Beasts have been found, with seven brought to the Society’s sanctuary and another six rediscovered in the Jack “Russer” Russel Memorial Nature Preserve. They are considered to be critically endangered and possibly extinct in the wild.

The seven Quazer Beasts at the sanctuary are:
 * The original
 * Errrden [sic], a supposed bulbous-headed creature from North America that feeds off knowledge; reminiscent of a fearsome critter
 * Thaloc, a supposed shapeshifter from Egyptian mythology
 * Duñak, a supposed carnivorous tree from Philippine mythology
 * THE LAND DEVOURER, first spotted in January 2022 by hunter and explorer Petier Griphon. Little is known about it besides the fact that it presumably devours land, possibly lives in Arabia, and might’ve killed everyone in Petier Griphon‘s village.
 * Mu Bear, a supposed ursid of the Indian Subcontinent that is said to be very friendly
 * Yout, a supposed tree-sprite in Finnish folklore

The six Quazer Beasts in the JRMNP are:
 * Bine, a supposed demon and guardian of hell in Akkadian mythology
 * Salvadorian Magpie, a supposed bird species from Jamaica
 * Horng Fong, a supposed legendary reptile from Vietnamese mythology that may be an extant “pygmy Ceratopsian”
 * Mustelodon, a supposed extinct genus of the family Viverravidae
 * Taurens, a supposed genus of jumping spider
 * Aliquota, a supposed species of reptile from a supposed location called “Accisa”

Extinct Quazer Beasts
There have existed multiple Quazer Beasts that were culled by WikiWildlife authorities before they could be taken to the sanctuary. Known examples include:
 * Eurygaster confidens, a supposed species of the genus Eurygaster
 * Plathubis the grey fox, a supposed amphibious mythical fox who is capable of summoning rain
 * Brazilian copperfish, a supposed fish of the Characidae family which lives near Rio de Janeiro that is (or should that be “was”?) a “vital part of Brazilian culture and cuisine.”
 * Tuba, a supposed creature from Mongolian mythology, which apparently could be ridden on
 * Death bird, or tkaclo hork, a supposed mythological avian from Aztec mythology that carried away children to feed its young (note that tkaclo hork is gibberish and the actual Nahuatl word for “death bird” would be miquiztototl )
 * the Ox of Boll, a bovid whose Quazerish nature is betrayed by a rather unsubtle name (ironically the term “ox” usually refers to a castrated draft animal, that is, one without bollocks)
 * Eachy, a supposed lake monster from the Lake District
 * Deogen or De Ogen, a supposed ghost that, appropriately, now dwells in the afterlife Oude Rode Ogen, likely a related species, met a similar fate
 * The Rainbow Fish, a fictitious sea monster that ate the Buddha and/or(?) an incarnation of Vishnu, supposedly from Hindu Mythology.
 * Gilled Antelope, or Cetaformia anthalopu, a facetious cryptid from Cambodia

Unconfirmed Quazer Beasts
The following beasts are only known from a single mention on user:JohnCD/Hoaxes, so they cannot be described in detail or even verified to be beasts at all.
 * Tree pig
 * Corellian Tiger (presumably unrelated to the Corellian Sand Panther)
 * Keep cricket (possibly a sport rather than a beast)
 * Mouth spiders
 * Paraceratherium giganteum, presumably a fictional species of Paraceratherium

Relatives of the Quazer Beast
The equally elusive and mysterious WikiKraken may be a distant genetic relative of the Quazer Beast.

It is currently being researched whether the Bierrum Effect is somehow related to Quazer Beasts.

Bandicoda genrea is an extinct example of what might be termed a “Quazer plant”.

Canis lupis wikixplodepediaris (common name exploding dog) is a sort of pseudo-Quazer Beast, spawned from reckless template creation.

Members
Members of the Society for the Preservation of the Quazer Beast pledge to verify articles when copy-editing them, checking the sources of articles they revert vandalism on, and bringing to the attention of the Society any Quazer Beasts found in the wild.
 * 1) Expedition Leader – Mackensen (talk) 01:26, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
 * 2) Supervising Cryptozoologist –  Cyde↔Weys  01:28, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
 * 3) Logistics Officer Emeritus – Madame Sosostris 01:29, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
 * 4) Research Buffoon 1ne 14:56, 12 July 2006 (UTC)
 * 5) Userbox Designer --Doc 08:28, 20 September 2006 (UTC)
 * 6) Repartee Patroller ++Lar: t/c 13:24, 20 September 2006 (UTC)
 * 7) Resident Blithering Idiot Emeritus and Policy Wonk Emeritus --Durin 13:40, 7 March 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) Member Mar 03:57, 9 March 2015 (UTC)
 * 9) Wrote a newspaper article that linked here  Res 
 * 10) Ombudsman to the Quazer Beast Tar-Elessar (talk) 01:42, 23 February 2017 (UTC)
 * 11) Энчеуа кудюм дюртӈаӈаҫод’и онаь базаана (Enets Translator [Emeritus]) Khu'hamgaba Kitap (talk) 10:25, 26 March 2017 (UTC)
 * 12) Some  random   person    who   exists    TL The Legend  talk 04:43, 14 November 2019 (UTC)
 * 13) I do everything around here these days Where’s my member userbox  (Dronebogus (talk) 12:48, 10 November 2021 (UTC))
 * 14) Protector of the Quazer Beast (Wikipe-tan)
 * 15) Honourary fellow Edward Pennington, Esq.

Userboxes
Members can identify themselves with the following userbox:

Useful links

 * List of hoaxes on Wikipedia
 * WikiProject Deletion sorting/Animal
 * WikiProject Deletion sorting/Mythology
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Wikipedia_suspected_hoax_articles
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Candidates_for_speedy_deletion_as_hoaxes