Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/HeyBae/Archive

15 October 2014

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Repeatedly vandalized Los Alamos High School, received final warning, and then referenced prior edit (diff) while vandalizing with new SPA. Brycehughes (talk) 05:30, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

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''Accused parties may also comment/discuss in this section below. See Defending yourself against claims.''

Hello my name is HeyBae, both legally and for my acount. I am sorry to inform you that every thing Fhm522 said was a lie, aside from the whole principal thing that's 100 percent true. You see me and Fhm522 were in a deep and steamy relationship, sadly though things took a turn for the worst. I found out about a year into the relationship that Fhm522 was infact a master sock-puppeteer and meat puppeteer. The whole meat thing is what really did me over because Fhm522 seamed to get off on purchasing fresh road kill and performing very theatrical plays for me. I mean seriously! Who has the nerve to do something as cruel and sickening as theatrical performances! The nerve of some people. I tried to break up slowly but that really sent Fhm522 into a spiraling psychotic breakdown and lead them to hack my account and try to get me band from Wikipedia. So in closing, trust nothing my ex lover says because in the words of some rap guy "bitches be cray" HeyBae out! *drops mic*

My Wikifriends, Fhm522 is experiencing what psychiatrist call MPD or multiple personality disorder. On top of that he/she is using emotional projection to subconsciously hide the fact that they are the real drug users. You see it started after our relationship began I realized that Fhm522 would act like a completely different person every now and then, and slowly but surely it became more prevalent that they had MPD due to the massive amounts of cocain usage. Honestly do you believe that someone who allegedly claims that I bought drugs from an alligator is not taking those drugs themselves?! He/ she is a mental basket who likes their drugs. You guys should be doing more than just a sock-puppet investigation you need to be reporting this kind of mental instability and mass drug use! Fhm522 is catfishing you to believe he/she is innocent in all of this, and I know you know what catfishing is because I read your page on it. HeyBae over and out. *jet packs away* — Preceding unsigned comment added by HeyBae (talk • contribs) 00:19, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

This is fhm522. HeyBae does cocaine in his/her free time. That, sadly, is what is going on here. About three years ago, a drugged up alligator came to HeyBae's school and asked if the students would like to purchase some cocaine. Wanting only to look "kewl" in front of his/her friends, HeyBae bought copious amounts of the stuff. The ongoing drug addiction is really tearing HeyBae and all of his/her loved ones apart. This whole situation is a mess. I don't do road kill puppetry (although I do dabble in the art of LARP-ing). I had intended only to have some fun and mess with the LAHS Wikipedia page. However, HeyBae has hindered my clean getaway, and caused a real snafu. Blame it on the drugs, my WikiFriends. Crack is whack. Cocaine is not a game. fhm522, over and out. Fhm522 (talk) 23:45, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

HeyBae is really screwing things up by not posting his/her defenses/responses in an easy-to-follow, chronological format. However, I digress, and now to the original point: I have a confession to make. I'm actually a 42 year old man living in my adopted, second mother twice-removed, step-mom's basement. I guess if I am supposed to get all of you Wikipedians out there to understand my situation, I'll have to start from the beginning. My story is a tragic one, right from the start. You see, neither of my parents showed up to my birth. I was orphaned, alone, no one to take care of me and feed me, all by myself, out in the wilderness. So there I lay, in the hospital, waiting and waiting. Eventually, a pack of wolves came into the hospital. Of course everyone was scared of them, and they preceded to eat whoever hadn't already run away in terror. By the time they got to me, though, they had had their fill of freshly birthed babies, and decided to take me to their cave or whatever. I was raised by a pack of wolves. I believed this was a normality. I was just some strange, lanky, Slender Man of a wolf, trying to get by in the woods. The day finally came when the mother wolf told me "GRRarghUGHARGHahhGRR," which translates loosely to: "We have raised you and taught you, it has been long enough. Now you must go find others who are like you, because, honestly, we don't know what to do with you anymore. You suck at hunting and you're almost completely hairless. You're just fecking creepy, bruh." So I set off to find my place in the civilized world. I found a woman who had never had children of her own and who had a strange appreciation for dogs. She took me in, taught me my first human words, which were in Slovakian, and taught me how to use the computer. I occasionally go to the outside world. Every now and again, I'll hear a cat outside the house and I cannot resist that ages-old, primal urge to kill. These days I feast mostly upon Flamin' Hot Cheetos and stray cats. I use Wikipedia to further my limited knowledge of the outside world. When I hip-happened upon the LAHS page, I knew that I must do something wild, something crazy, lest I run away back into the woods once more. I needed adventure. I needed release. So I made seven edits. Seven: God's number if completion and perfectness. Sadly, every last one of my edits was erased in favor of outdated, boring, truthful information. So now I sit here, in my adopted, second mother twice-removed, step-mom's basement; and I wait. I wait for this mysterious user named "HeyBae" to spread filthy lies about me. I only partially regret my decisions to "vandalize" the LAHS page. What keeps me from true remorse is the fact that SANDRA WARNOCK IS NO LONGER THE PRINCIPAL OF LAHS. I CANNOT DRIVE THIS FACT HOME ANY FURTHER. DR. BELEW-NYQUEST IS THE NEW PRINCIPAL AND IF YOU WOULD PLEASE ACCEPT THAT EDIT, THAT WOULD JUST BE CHOICE. Fhm522 (talk) 00:42, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

It pains me that Fhm522 is taking this investigation so loosly! Seriously fake internet investigations that derive their name from a child's play thing really need to be taken more serious than they are. How do you think you're making the sock puppets of the world feel?! Besides that your emotional instability sickens me! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET IN PERSON BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!!! Who the hell just does that? Your not so sobby sob story is just a pathetic cover to hide the fact that you not only catfish but shamelessly puppet the internet. In all honesty I am glad you do not know your parents because I wouldn't wish that kind of shame on anyone's family! HeyBae delivering us from lies. — Preceding unsigned comment added by HeyBae (talk • contribs) 01:06, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

I am deeply saddened to know that HeyBae has a severe lack of empathy for those who have suffered with abandonment. Having been abandoned myself, I can say that this negativity and oppression is unappreciated. Obviously, HeyBae's attitude stems from his/her extended drug abuse. HeyBae's mental faculties are clearly not "all there." HeyBae wants to raise our taxes, end public education, and make coffee illegal. HeyBae has continuously flip-flopped on these issues, but it's time that America asks itself: Who is the REAL HeyBae? I for one have had enough of this flip-flopping, Jerry-Mandering, electoral college, photosynthesis, sohcahtoa, dihydrogen oxide ... I honestly don't know where I'm going with this, I was just trying to use big words, but I have no clue what they mean. That's what you get when you're raised by wolves and taught Slovakian garble. I'm uneducated, and HeyBae wants the uneducated to stay that way! I am the 99%! #fhm522ForPrez2016 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Fhm522 (talk • contribs) 01:30, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Look Fhm522, or should I say Jeffery. I shouldn't have put you down like that, you lived a rough life and I respect tht. While the wiki creeps here read our brass exchanges I say infront of them and all the internet I'm sorry. I know we have had our diffrences but this bickering needs to stop. Jeffery love you, I know that you LARP and that you eat Cheetos ( the cat thing is compleatly overlook able) and that sometimes you have to run free. But the truth is, I know you're not a lone wolf and that in your weird wolfy way you love me. You may be 42 but you look 20 and Mmm gurl do you look fine. Jeffery will you accept this weird internet apology. — Preceding unsigned comment added by HeyBae (talk • contribs) 03:31, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Dear Alfonso, Of course, my sweet, splendid, beautiful chocolate man. Of course I will accept your apology. I realize that the drugs have really made both of our brains quite shifty. So I, too, would like to take this moment to say that I am sorry. I'm sorry that I forced you to watch me carry out theatrical presentations with road kill as the main characters and the props. Especially that one time that I took on Bill Shakey-Spear's "Hamlet" and had to kill all the pre-dead characters. It was a mess. I can genuinely overlook your fondness for cocaine, and I will instead look into your loving brown eyes. Oh, how I love you eyes. Many a sonnet could be written about your eyes. They remind me of ExLax, of melted chocolate ice cream, of the bodily fluids of Ebola victims. I long to feel your touch again, Alfonso. And so it is my honor to tell you that I am sorry and that I accept the apology that you have offered to me. I long for resolution as much as I long for your hands to caress me once more. Alfonso, run away with me. In the words of my ancestors: "ARGHurgharRRARRghuhGAGH," which translates loosely to: "This world is full of beauty / I have yet to find. / But I only want to see it / With your hand in mine." I love you, Alfonso Facundo D'Andre Washer Dominguez. Love and spaceships, fhm522 Fhm522 (talk) 04:17, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Jeffery, the distance between us is more than the stars in the sky. I know you're somewhere on this earth but te internet is made up of an infanant amount of 0's and 1's, and as some cancer kid once said "there is an infanant amount if infinities between zero and ten" and Jeffery our infinity is almost to much for me to handle. I sit in this dark basement with pictures of your face and different wolves on my walls waiting for the day that you return to my loving embrace. Come back home it's more of a den now to help bring you back to your roots, I want you to be apart of this world and your old world, To have the best of both worlds and Hannah Montana puts it. Our love will span miles, cross oceans, outlast aids, and carry on past our dying heart beats. To you I say "AaaughGraawlllKaawAayhAay" wich as you know loosely translates to "I wanna take your body and make sweet love to it" Many sweaty heartbeats, HeyBae. — Preceding unsigned comment added by HeyBae (talk • contribs) 04:42, 16 October 2014 (UTC)

Hello, My username is fhm522. I have been accused of sock-puppetry, and I am here to inform you that these claims and allegations are based entirely off of circumstantial evidence. I have not made multiple accounts in order to continue making edits, and I do not have any accomplices. Therefore, I can confidently and truthfully say that I have neither meat- nor sock-puppeted. I was merely having a good time. HeyBae is another story, and I don't know that story because, like I said, I do not have any accomplices. I am alone in my efforts to make edits to the Los Alamos High School page. I am a lone wolf. I work by myself. You see, it's easier that way. I can't hurt others if I have no loved ones. I am destined to live a life that is solitary and consists of vandalizing Wikipedia pages. This is my sole mission. This is what I was put on earth to do. And like I said - I do it alone. On a final note, I made an edit where I changed the principal from "Sandra Warnock" to "Dr. Deborah Belew-Nyquest." This edit is factual and it is actually the only edit of the seven I made that was serious. Los Alamos High School has a new principal, and plenty of other new staff members, this year. Dr. Belew-Nyquest is the new principal at LAHS, and I would appreciate it if this edit was put back on the page, because currently, the page is extremely outdated. It's, like, so 2010. That is all. fhm522 Fhm522 (talk) 22:37, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

Clerk, CheckUser, and/or patrolling admin comments

 * Whether sock puppetry or meat puppetry, neither accounts are here to genuinely contribute to the encyclopedia. I've blocked both of them. Mike V  •  Talk  05:06, 16 October 2014 (UTC)