Wikipedia:Special log



The Special Log (real name Woody McStump) is a magical block of wood of roughly cylindrical shape that makes Wikipedia work. A lot of people aren't aware of how useful the Special Log is, and this makes Woody sad.

History
Woody was born in Log-o-land Forest in Lumberjack City, Maine. After it first sprouted from being a tiny sapling, it didn't grow to be a particularly large oak tree and it developed a rare form of tree fungus, stunting its growth. Woody's brothers and sisters frequently ridiculed it for its inferior wood grain and smaller tree rings. Many of Woody's family members went onto prestigious careers to be used for log cabins, chairs, tables, small statuettes of Jesus, and so on, while Woody remained in the forest, alone with his parents until he was roughly 30-years-old. Woody McStump's mother often consoled him by referring to him as "her special log," thus the origin of the term.

One day, the Volvo corporation decided to flatten Log-o-land Forest in order to build a new car dealership. Every tree in the forest, including Woody, was sliced up and sent off to be sold as timber.

Woody had been reduced from a large, full oak tree to a mere tiny block of wood, of roughly cylindrical shape. Most of those around him, at the time, were sold off as firewood, the most dreadful fate for a piece of a wood.

Suddenly, one night, the magical log fairy appeared to Woody and said, "Woody, I know you are a Special Log. And I will grant you great powers. Tomorrow, a man by the name of Jimbo Wales will buy you. And I will give you the ability to keep track of various activities on his website, called Wikipedia, in order to help it run more effectively."

And thus, the Special Log as we know it today was born.

When the Special Log is using its powers to deal with trolls and vandals, it is known by the name the "Block Log," also commonly referred to as the Banstick, the Bantwig, the Reed of Refusal, the Trunk of Troll-Transportation, and the Mighty Oaken Branch of Banhood.