Wikipedia:Translation/Laiq Sher-Ali

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I came to stumble upon this article after volunteering to aid Wikipedia in Persian English translation and clicking the link: Laiq Sher Ali (In Irani custom: Layagh Sher Ali)

The sample poems entered are 1)Bait=Couplet and 2)Rubaayi=Quartrain.

1) Bait. Transliteration: Maa keh khod parwardeh e yak maadareem ! Taajik o Iraani o Afghaan cheraa ?

Translation: We who were brought up by only one mother ! Why be dubbed as Taajiks and Iranians and Afghans (today)?

(We that share a common Persian lineage and language are dismayed by the dividing identities that our geo-political boundaries have burdened us with)

2)Rubaayi. Transliteration: Bar khimeh e Khayyaam guzar kardam baaz ! Bar chihreh e aiyyaam nazar kardam baaz ! Didam keh jahaan shikasteh tar az nush ast ! Sad taubeh shikasteh baadeh e sar kardam baaz!

Alas this Rubaayi has lost it's charm because either Wikipedia has not correctly copied the original Persian text or the author (most improbably) has erred in composition! The word "shikashteh" meaning "broken" is wrongly appearing in place of "shikan" meaning "breaking" after the word "taubeh" and before the word "baadeh" in the last line. This error causes mismatch of meter and rhyming and deviates from the tradition that the last line should have identical similarity to the first two lines of a Rubaayi. The error also has changed the entire syntax and diction of the rhyme.

The last line in my opinion should have been as follows: Sad taubeh shikan baadeh e sar kardam baaz !

Translation: I went back to the tent of Omar Khayyaam ! (Khayyaam=Tentmaker) And put my sight on the face on the days gone by ! And saw that this earth today lies more shattered than a shard ! So I picked from there another (cup of) drink that breaks a hundred oaths! (That keeps the mind intoxicated against the much repeated religious vows to shun drinking)

This is a translation only and neither a synopsis nor an attempt to explain the intricacy of the Persian text to readers not oriented to Persian. It may sound a bit puzzling to all English speakers ears and eyes.

Lutfullah 05:37, 12 December 2006 (UTC)Lutfullah

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