Wikipedia:WikiProject Articles for creation/Help desk/Archives/2012 December 16

= December 16 =

Review of Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/ShillCat
Why my article wasn't aceppted?

EdnaSantos — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ednaaloiziosantos (talk • contribs) 03:05, 16 December 2012 (UTC)


 * I explained this in IRC, but I'll summarize it here too. :) Since you just created your article and haven't submitted it for review yet, it's not reasonable to expect it to have been accepted already - keep in mind that once you submit it for review, it may take several days for it to be reviewed (accepted or declined). For now, it'd be best to keep improving your article and reading more about Wikipedia's guidelines before you submit it for review, since the article appears to be an advertisement. I recommend reading Your first article, Notability (organizations and companies), and especially Article wizard/Company notability. Those pages are designed to help you figure out how to revise the article into a more encyclopedic style. Dreamyshade (talk) 03:29, 16 December 2012 (UTC)


 * I've submitted it for review, as that is what the author seems to want. I've also clean up some spam and fixed some style/layout errors. I know what the result will be, but I'll let someone else review it. Pol430 talk to me 16:19, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Tour Egypt
Why hasn't anyone reviewed my edit? Please provide feedback. Thank you, Jusstin (talk) 05:29, 16 December 2012 (UTC)


 * No one has reviewed your edits because you hadn't re-submitted the draft for review. I have done so for you. However, I'm still a little skeptical about the sources. The BBC is of course a reliable independent source, but it doesn't really say much about Tour Egypt. The Daily News article, on the other hand, reads like a fawning press release written by the Eleman brothers themselves.
 * The draft is also rather short on basic facts about Tour Egypt - when was the company founded, how many employees does it have, what are its revenues and profits? Huon (talk) 13:45, 16 December 2012 (UTC)
 * I've left a more comprehensive explanation on the submission's page, but mostly per the concern expressed above. Pol430 talk to me 16:29, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

Review of Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Bob Lilley
I am new to writing articles for Wiki.

Could some kind person please review and improve this article for publication.

Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Bob Lilley.

Thank-you — Preceding unsigned comment added by Pop goes the we (talk • contribs) 06:28, 16 December 2012 (UTC)


 * First of all, the draft page currently contains multiple copies of the draft. Please remove the old copies so that a reviewer will know which one to review.
 * Secondly, it would be a great help, both for the reviewer and for the readers, to add inline citations and footnotes to clarify which of the references supports which of the article's statements.
 * Thirdly, the draft currently seems to engage in heavy doses of original synthesis when it uses statements that don't refer to Lilley to make a point about Lilley. For example, Churchill's "famous verdict" about Alamein wasn't made about Lilley, and I see no indication Churchill was even aware of Lilley's existence.
 * Fourthly, the draft's tone is anything but encyclopedic: Lilley "set the desert ablaze with consistent deeds of bravery"? And "courage alone was not enough and instinctive fighting skills were all that stood between his return to safety and oblivion"? We should aim for a drier tone that doesn't sing Lilley's praise but describes in neutral terms what he did and what happened.
 * Finally, some past reviewer comments and a few strange instances of struck text seem to have become embedded in the draft. That should be cleaned up. Huon (talk) 13:45, 16 December 2012 (UTC)


 * Helped with some cleanup and organisation, and sorted out the extra drafts and submission templates. Communicating with editor on Talk. MatthewVanitas (talk) 16:35, 17 December 2012 (UTC)

Review of Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Mark Strizic
Hi,

Why don't my refs. appear in this article for creation - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_talk:Articles_for_creation/Mark_Strizic? Will they in the final? Can I keep adding as I await acceptance of this article? Thank you for your help! ```` — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jamesmcardle (talk • contribs) 22:02, 16 December 2012 (UTC)


 * Hi! You had a small typo that caused the display issue, so I fixed it for you - here's what I changed. You're welcome to continue working on the article as you wait for review. I recommend continuing to work on referencing as many sentences as possible. I also suggest working on the tone of the article - right now it has a positive/flattering tone (for example "developing a love of strong light which he found abundant under the clear skies of his adopted city" and "illustrate Australians' disdain for their architectural heritage and their scant regard for the visual aesthetics of their urban environment amidst the destruction of magnificent Gold Rush era buildings"), but encyclopedia articles should have a carefully neutral, dry tone. It's a great start though. Dreamyshade (talk) 22:35, 16 December 2012 (UTC)