Wikipedia:WikiProject Articles for creation/Help desk/Archives/2018 June 23

= June 23 =

02:17:38, 23 June 2018 review of submission by 2405:204:3484:32C:A4F0:E5C1:81D1:B70
2405:204:3484:32C:A4F0:E5C1:81D1:B70 (talk) 02:17, 23 June 2018 (UTC)

Request on 08:04:42, 23 June 2018 for assistance on AfC submission by Amanjakhad
I'm working as a digital marketer for a startup named Bonphul Air Products. I wanted to post an article on Bonphul Air Products mentioning it's brief history as the product is revolutionary and health-related. It's not an advertisement, I just want to describe the values and beliefs, The story behind the organization. But tried to submit my article two times both times I got rejected. My Article (Please suggest changes):

Bonphul Air Products Pvt. Ltd. is a New Delhi-headquartered company co-founded by Prodyut Bora and Narendra Bisht in July 2017. It was set up to create innovative air-quality products that are required to address challenges posed by the air-pollution problems of the world.

History
Narendra Bisht met Prodyut Bora while running his company Respirotech, and convinced him to join the company. Prodyut Bora, in turn, convinced Narendra Bisht that the company should widen it's scope of activities, and proposed a new name: Bonphul Respirotech became Bonphul Medsys.

Formation
Bonphul Air Products was incorporated on 19 July 2017.

Investments
The company's initial share capital was Rs 1 Lakh (INR One Hundred Thousand). Subsequently, the company's share capital was raised to Rs 2 Lakhs.

2017 Dec: Bonphul Air Products received seed-capital from Faridabad-based investor Satish Bhatia, who valued the company at Rs 1 crore and picked up 10% equity for Rs 10 Lakhs.

2018 May: Bonphul Air Products raised angel-investment from Rx Infotech and Karmesh Global Technologies. They valued the company at Rs 20 Crores (INR Two Hundred Million) and signed up to take on 10% equity for Rs 2 Crores (INR Twenty Million).

Products
Bonphul has developed a product: an oxygen optimizer for commercial and residential purposes. Branded OxyMax, the oxygen optimizer solves two very critical problems: one, the oxygen content in the outdoor air in Indian cities is very low, and two, wherever there are men or animals indoor in an enclosed space--whether home or office--there is a progressive decrease in oxygen level in the ambient air.

Oxygen Optimizers
Pure air is supposed to have about 21% oxygen, 78% nitrogen and 1% other gases. But oxygen levels in cities are falling. According to Bonphul Air Products, the outdoor oxygen--level in Indian cities like Delhi is 18%, indoor it is often less. On the other hand, the US Government's OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) defines as "oxygen deficient" any atmosphere that contains less than 19.5 percent oxygen.

Bonphul OxyMax raises indoor oxygen from existing level to 21%.

Models
Bonphul OxyMax comes in 2 ranges:

Residential & Light Commercial Range

- 10 LPM (litres per minute)

- 20 LPM

Heavy Commercial Range

- 50 LPM

Technology
The OxyMax range of products works on pressure swing absorption (PSA) technology.

Geographical Presence
Bonphul Air Product's registered office is in New Delhi corporate office in Gurgaon and factory in Faridabad.

17:41:15, 23 June 2018 review of submission by Aliaalchalabi
Hello,

I recently submitted the page "The Sumaira Foundation for NMO" and you denied it on the principle that it was not neutral, and the sources were produced by The Sumaira Foundation.

I am confused as to what sources were produced by the foundation, since none of the citations or hyperlinks were in any way affiliated in a non-neutral standpoint with the foundation. The articles linked simply talked about the foundation, but were not created by it.

I would really appreciate some feedback since this was a neutral page creation. Aliaalchalabi (talk) 17:41, 23 June 2018 (UTC)
 * pending paid editing disclosure, see User talk:Aliaalchalabi. --Worldbruce (talk) 18:20, 23 June 2018 (UTC)
 * Hi Thank you for your declaration. The declined draft notice contains a lot of boilerplate, all of which is true and important, but isn't tightly tailored to this particular draft.


 * The draft lists three references (PNAS and two issues of BMJ) none of which say anything about The Sumaira Foundation. There are also external links embedded in the text of the article. That is not allowed. Perhaps you meant to format them as references. If so, The Improper Bostonian is not significant coverage. Boston Voyager, India.com, and Boston Magazine are primary source interviews, which don't help establish notability. CityBizList is user-generated content, so not a reliable source. Do sociallysuperlative and vibrantgene have reputations for accuracy and fact checking? I don't think so, in which case they aren't reliable sources either.


 * To rewrite the draft as an encyclopedia article, you would need to start with sources of a completely different kind. Then there's the content. Sections about the purpose, philosophy, and vision of the organization are part of what makes it read like an advertisement. They should be deleted. The rest of the draft is puffery written to promote the subject and the founder, to make them seem important and sympathetic without imparting verifiable information about what tangible effect the foundation has had. Most organizations don't belong in an encyclopedia, and based on my experience with similar drafts and organizations, I think it highly unlikely that any amount of editing could salvage this topic. --Worldbruce (talk) 22:53, 29 June 2018 (UTC)

Request on 20:15:40, 23 June 2018 for assistance on AfC submission by Yevrowl
Hi! I ask for help in finalizing the article for publication.

Yevrowl (talk) 20:15, 23 June 2018 (UTC)
 * Good day. You draft article has been reviewed by . Please see the reviewer's comment and the note on the pink/salmon box on top of the draft page. By the way you need to provide significant coverage independent, reliable sources to establish the notability of the said subject. Please see the post/message few posts above yours Here, title "Request on 15:31:34, 22 June 2018 for assistance on AfC submission by SazidKabir", on what is needed for a page to be accepted on notability, types of sources, significant coverage, verification requirements. Thank you.  CASSIOPEIA(talk) 04:42, 24 June 2018 (UTC)


 * Greetings! The article was created by analogy with the existing one: Police captain. Thanks for the answer. Yevrowl (talk) 04:59, 24 June 2018 (UTC)


 * finalized the article and ask for help in publishing. Yevrowl (talk) 05:35, 27 June 2018 (UTC)