Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Dave Lombardo/Archive1

Dave Lombardo
This is on a drummer and was completely rewritten by myself - was a few paragraphs with no references before. I would like to get it to GA standards. Thanks. M3tal H3ad 10:47, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

Thehaikumaster
I haven't received any GA ratings myself (though I do have one piece up for review), but I do have a number of B articles in my pocket so I at least feel qualified in helping you get to that level. Looks to me like it's about Start class right now; here are some comments:


 * The article has a fair amount of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors that need to be addressed, as well as some confusing word usage. (example: In paragraph 1, sentence 3 "...enticing himself in music;" enticing doesn't really work there in a traditional sense. Maybe "submerging?" Or "devoting himself to music?")


 * You give a decent overview of Lombardo's career, but it wouldn't hurt to expand the Slayer section. Currently, it's just as long as Early Years.


 * I'd also recommend reworking the lead. Most GA and above articles give a very broad overview of the subject's career, whereas you include a lot of very specific facts that get repeated in the body. A good example would be the intro found in the GA-rated Bob Marley page (which I had nothing to do with): it tells you his lifespan, profession, the kind of music he played, his religion, some of his most famous songs, and his best-selling album. The facts are saved for the bio itself.


 * Minor bit: most GA music bio articles usually put the subject's place of birth at the beginning of the first paragraph of the main bio, not in the intro. (Again, the Bob Marley bio gives a nice example of this.)

That's it for me. Hope it helps! Thehaikumaster 02:49, 17 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Thanks taken care of most of the problems, i did remove a few spelling and grammar errors but can't find anymore, and I'll try expand the Slayer section. Thanks again M3tal H3ad 12:13, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

LuciferMorgan

 * What has been the critical reception towards his work with Grip Inc., Fantomas and the album he did with DJ Spooky? Reviews? How have these bands been described by critics, and how have they been compared / contrasted to Slayer?


 * When he did two songs with Metallica at Download 2004, how was his performance critically recieved? Live reviews which mention his performance? LuciferMorgan 16:38, 18 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Excerpted from a Rolling Stone review of Christ Illusion; "At least their awesome drummer Dave Lombardo (playing on his first SLAYER recording since 1990's 'Seasons in the Abyss') shows off some chops, particularly on the raging 'Supremist'." This can be added to the section regarding Christ Illusion in the article. LuciferMorgan 16:43, 18 February 2007 (UTC)


 * In an interview I did for Rockdetector with Mike Smith of the band Suffocation, Lombardo is cited as an influence. This can be mentioned in the article in the "Style and influence" section. LuciferMorgan 16:51, 18 February 2007 (UTC)


 * The AMG review of Decade of Aggression says "drummer Dave Lombardo takes the cake with his double kick-drum precision and inventive fills." This could be added to the article. LuciferMorgan 22:03, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * The IGN review of Still Reigning says "Lombardo's drums and cymbals are badly muted from the viscous liquid covering them" and "But Dave Lombardo hasn't lost a step at all. With barely any breathing time between songs, the underground drum legend shows that an impending 40th birthday (next month) isn't going to slow him down." These excerpts could be integrated into the article somewhere. If there was enough material, you could even rework the article so that there's a section dealing with his live abilities - I hope you can find the material, because he warrants one. I'll see what I can do, but what's the policy as regards using the regular metal websites? Some seem to deem them unreliable for some reason. LuciferMorgan 22:09, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Christ Illusion review from Blabbermouth.net which I have to integrate into the Christ Illusion article sometime this week.


 * 1. Excerpt 1; "One thing's for sure: Lombardo's influence on this band is absolutely undeniable. With no disrespect to Paul Bostaph, a fine drummer (and Jon Dette, who also did some work with the group in the mid-Nineties), Lombardo is simply essential to the SLAYER sound. He is one of heavy rock's all-around best drummers, perhaps the very best in the field of thrash /speed metal, and his power, style, and chops — not to mention his intangible chemistry with the rest of the group and those amazing flying feet — bring SLAYER's overall performance, intensity and music to a higher level."


 * 2. Excerpt 2; "Album closer "Supremist" gets off to a somewhat unsteady start before blowing the doors off with a manic conclusion featuring tons of unbelievable machine-gun double bass from Lombardo, whose feet thunder across this album in trademark brilliant style and provide a constant propellant to his charged-up bandmates." LuciferMorgan 22:21, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Drums of Death review by Glide magazine (use whichever bits you feel are appropriate - the first I'd definitely use);


 * 1. Excerpt 1; "Lombardo's influence is front and center in the driving, up tempo "Quantum Cyborg Drum Machine," and the almost straight-up thrash of "Kultur Krieg."


 * 2. Excerpt 2; "Taken as a whole, this collaboration between DJ Spooky (That Subliminal Kid) and Dave Lombardo of Slayer resembles nothing so much as the soundtrack to a Heavy Metal cartoon featuring big-mulletted space cowboys strafing asteroid mining colonies in their tricked-out rocketships." LuciferMorgan 23:10, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * 2. Excerpt 3; "This is a concept album which would be utterly unbearable in the hands of lesser talents. The evident skill and musicianship is such that even the occasional excursions into kitsch are half the fun." LuciferMorgan 23:10, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Stylus magazine review and PopMatters review of Drums of Death. Plunder those which mention Lombardo's style for the "Style and influence" section, or the bit dealing with the album itself. LuciferMorgan 23:13, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Apocalyptica interview where Lombardo is mentioned. They worked with him on a track or tracks apparently. LuciferMorgan 23:19, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Live review (free registration required) of Slayer from NY Times; "Its drummer, Dave Lombardo, still plays the same way he did in the early ’80s, in wickedly fast two-beat rhythms that constantly rush the music and do not swing; the only difference now is that his sound is bigger and surer, his fills more impressive." If for some reason you don't wanna register, here's the info I can find; The name of the article is "For Some Unmellowed Metalheads, Middle Age Is Nothing to Fear", it was written by Ben Ratliff, published Feb 17 2007 in the NY Times newspaper, and is a live review of Slayer's Feb 15th performance at Hammerstein Ballroom. LuciferMorgan 04:46, 24 February 2007 (UTC)


 * "Several months later Patton called Lombardo asking him to join another fusion project, Lombardo replied "Fuck yeah!"[5] Lombardo asserts it's the hardest music he's ever played "Slayer doesn't even come close. Slayer was hard in a physical way, but this is physically demanding as well and requires "feeling". (The kind of connectedness that demands) no clicking of sticks." Also asserting "if Picasso was a musician, this would be his music."


 * The above doesn't read correctly, as though missing words in sentences. Needs addressing. LuciferMorgan 05:35, 24 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Stylus magazine review of Fantomas Delirius Cordia album; "The Dave Lombardo percussive detonations meld with the wordless Patton vocal spluttering and lead me off into visions of gore splattering." LuciferMorgan 05:42, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Lombardo's influence

 * Richard Christy interview where he mentions Lombardo's influence on his drumming. LuciferMorgan 23:27, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Caliban interview where the drummer responds that either his dad or Lombardo as the reason why he first got behind a drumkit. LuciferMorgan 23:32, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Dave Dunniway, who worked on a PC game called Dungeon Siege says of himself; "Started out as a freelance illustrator/graphic designer who wasted a lot of time playing video games. Influenced and inspired by Neil Peart, Dave Lombardo and Danny Carey." and "My primary function on Dungeon Siege is building terrain. I model the individual nodes/tiles that make up our landscapes, paint their textures so they look nice and create texture-based animations for features like rivers." LuciferMorgan 23:38, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Lithic interview where the drummer says; "growing up 2 of my favorite drummers were Stewart Copeland of The Police and Dave Lombardo of Slayer." LuciferMorgan 23:41, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Drummer of German band Destruction credits Lombardo as an influence. LuciferMorgan 23:45, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Shimera interview where their drummer accredits Lombardo as an influence. LuciferMorgan 23:49, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Necrophagous interview where their drummer / vocalist accredits Lombardo as an influence. LuciferMorgan 23:52, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Cannibal Corpse interview where their drummer says; "Primarily and personally as for a band that I idolized it was SLAYER and Dave Lombardo that did it for me. The very first influence that made me want to play music was KISS but then growing up… When SLAYER came out. Especially "Reign in Blood" to me, it was just so amazing and Lombardo is just so great. He made me want to do what I want to do. I wanted to play fast. That is what moved me the most in my heart. I would have to say that that is definitely the biggest influence for me. If there was no SLAYER what would modern death metal music be like?" LuciferMorgan 23:55, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Morbid Angel interview where their drummer says; "Dave Lombardo (original SLAYER drummer) was my number one influence to continue what I do now." LuciferMorgan 23:57, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Fear Factory interview where their drummer says; "Well growing up, it was mainly metal drummers that I really looked up to; like Dave Lombardo from Slayer was definitely one of my biggest influences. Or Pete Sandoval, who everybody knows from Morbid Angel but he used to play for a band called Terrorizer, and I really used to love that band." LuciferMorgan 23:59, 19 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Adrian Erlandsson interview where he says; "Some more known drummers i really like is Dave Holland, Nigel Glocker, Scott Travis, Dave Lombardo, Cozy Powell." LuciferMorgan 00:06, 20 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Krisiun interview where their drummer says; "Dave Lombardo was my main influence, especially in the beginning. I remember when I was listening to Metallica, I was kind of inspired by the drummer back in the 'Master of Puppets' and 'Ride the Lightning' days. Then I heard Slayer and I thought the drummer was unbelievable. It was so unbelievable when I heard 'Hell Awaits' and 'Reign in Blood' for the first time. It was so fast, so brutal. The fills, and a lot of things. I remember hearing the song "Silent Scream" from 'South of Heaven' for the first time. It just blew me away. It was like fast double-bass, fast kicks during the whole song. That was very inspiring for me." LuciferMorgan 00:09, 20 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Jason Bittner interview where he says; "Charlie Benante and Dave Lombardo are major influences on me." LuciferMorgan 00:11, 20 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Holy crap..I'll see what i can do, Thanks! M3tal H3ad 07:18, 20 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Dvae Culross interview where it says;

SD.com: Who are your top 5 influences? Dave: Starting early on it was Alex VanHalen, Frankie Banali (Quiet Riot), Charlie Benante, Lars Ulrich, and Dave Lombardo. LuciferMorgan 20:35, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Automated

 * Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 20:41, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Yannismarou
Nicele done, but I think it still needs work. Here are some suggestions:
 * I don't like the lead! I don't know the prose there looks to me simplistic, and sometimes repetitive (Dave Lombardo (born February 16, 1965) is a drummer best known as a member of the American thrash metal band Slayer. Lombardo is known as ...). I think it needs some more work.
 * It would be nice if you could find a photo.
 * "At the age of two, his parents left Cuba moving to California ". The state or the city of Califonia?
 * Check MoS, because some albums are not in italics, and some songs are not in qms.
 * Five short sentences in the last paragraph of "Early years" start with exactly the same way (Lombardo did this ... Lombardo did that ...). I would recommend a better prose variety, because the prose (not only in this section) gets repetitive and choppy.
 * The prose also looks to me repetitive in the next section, when you say 3 times X states, Y states etc. I also think that you forgot to close the qms in the last of these quotes (I did not do it, because I did not know where exactly to place them). In general, the article does not flow that well.
 * "The band Fantômas formed when Lombardo was friends with Faith No More drummer Mike Bordin." Something looks wrong to me with this sentence.
 * "Lombardo recorded five tracks with Apocalyptica on the album Reflections. Lombardo was approached while at a drum clinic in Holland titled "Headbangers fest". Apocalyptica asked if Lombardo would like to do a duo at the clinic, Lombardo agreed. The band members later asked Lombardo if he would like to do drums on their next album, Lombardo agreed and the band sent him the tapes his recording studio in California.[18] Lombardo enjoyed working on the record at his own home and sent the tapes back to the band who added cello's over the drums.[18]" Choppy prose. I quote it as a characteristic axample of what is going wrong IMO.
 * Maybe you could expand a bit the "Influence" section.--Yannismarou 18:25, 21 February 2007 (UTC)