Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Erin Davis/2007-01-02

Erin Davis
I've done a major rewrite on this article and would like to work towards getting it elevated to Good Article status. Any advice on what I can do to eventually get it to that point would be very appreciated. --Maelwys 14:42, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

User:Yannismarou
Nice start, but it still needs work. This is my review:
 * Fix the lead per WP:LEAD.
 * Done --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Year of birth? Anything about her family?
 * Had to do some research to find a birthday, but I've now added that and a bit more about her family. --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * I think "Early life" or "Early Yers" are better headings than "Upbringing".
 * Done --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * The picture has no caption. You could also use an infobox.
 * Done --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * No citations in "Upbringing".
 * Added them --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Last paragraph "Radio career" is uncited. Try to have at least one citation for each paragraph.
 * Cited --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * "Off-air work", "Charity work" and "Home Life" are stubby. Merge or expand.
 * I'll hold off on this one for now, see if I can find a way to expand them, and merge them if I can't. --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * "Davis and Rob, her husband of 18 years, have a 15-year-old daughter, Lauren." Uncyclopedic and not-comprehensive: who is Rob? His full name? Is Davis his name and Erin took it after they got married or not? When did they get married?
 * This one's a bit hard because her husband isn't a public figure and his last name isn't a matter of public record. I've reworded this section to try to make it a bit more comprehensive
 * I suggest you turn "Honours and awards" into proper prose.
 * Done --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * 5 from your 6 citations are from the same magazine. You need a wider range of sources.--Yannismarou 16:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Yeah, unfortunately that magazine was the only local periodical I could find with an expansive archive of old articles posted online. The other ones that I know wrote stories about her all did so several years ago, but only keep a couple weeks of archives online.  Thanks for all the advice! --Maelwys 20:31, 2 January 2007 (UTC)