Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Lily Parr

Lily Parr
She's currently a Start and I'd like her to have something better... Fluffball70 19:17, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Yannismarou

 * Citations go after the pun mark; not before (per MoS).
 * You start with a phrase maybe not adequate for starting a biography: "Although she was sometimes referred to as being 6ft tall, she was actually 5ft 10in. Unlike women's teams today, Lily played". And I see this phrase in the opening of a section towards the end of the article: "Lily was born in in a rented house in Union St, Gerrards Bridge, which at the time was the most deprived and poverty striken part of St. Helens. She was the 4th child of 7 to George and Sarah(Sal) Parr." Most often "Early years" go before "Career". Maybe you should read carefully some FA biographies, and then reconsider your structure.
 * "Personal Life" is undercited.
 * Format properly your citations, making use of Template:cite web, Template:cite news, Template:cite journal and Template:cite book.--Yannismarou 20:46, 15 March 2007 (UTC)