Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Tenacious D/archive1

Tenacious D
I hope this article to obtain GA status. I would appreciate any advice in improving this article further. Thanks. Tenacious D Fans (talk) 17:39, 29 January 2007 (UTC)

Yannismarou
Congratulations for GA status. At a first glance, it looks like a great article, but, reading it, you understand that there are some important flaws. It still needs work, if you want to get it FA. This is my review:
 * "described as "mock rock".[2][3][4]". 3 citations in a row are not nice. Try to combine them. You can get some ideas from Tourette syndrome or W.S. Gilbert.
 * Do not wikilink single years (like 1999); only full dates per WP:MoS.
 * "Tenacious D are also known by their nickname, "The D"." I don't like this stubby, "orphan" sentence in the lead.
 * "Black, then 16, first met 24-year-old Kyle Gass in Edinburgh, Scotland[5][6] during ..." "In the audience was David Cross,[1] who was later to cast the D in Mr Show.[10]". Try to place citations at the end of the sentence. Cite in the middle, only if it is absolutely necessary.
 * "Although Black and Gass did not initially get along ... " Why? Vague assessment.
 * "Although Black and Gass did not initially get along, they eventually worked out their differences.[7] Later, Gass taught Black to play the guitar in exchange for Black helping him with his acting. They eventually formed the band and played their first live show in the now". You see the prose problem?
 * "While they can both sing and play the guitar, Black is billed as lead singer and Gass as lead guitarist. The band's name is derived from a term used by sportscaster Marv Albert about the tenacious defense of the NBA's New York Knicks.[11][6] The name was decided ... " IMO, there is an inconsistence of tenses here: Previous paragraph past tense, first sentence of this paragraph present tense, then again past tense.
 * First paragraphs at "First album (2001 – 2003)" are uncited.
 * In "Film and their second album (2004 – 2006)" I see a main article link in the middle of the section. Why there?! I think it would be better to have it as a see also link just after the heading.
 * Prose problems in "Future". Stubby paragraphs and a listy-trivia style.
 * "They have staged two international concert tours". I think more info about these two international tours would be welcome.
 * "Also in Trainwreck is the actor who plays "Lee", Jason "JR" Reed, who performs lead vocals under the pseudonym "Darryl Donald". Not what FAC regards as brilliant prose!
 * I would like "Influences" a bit more expanded with infos about their style. This is IMO necessary for one more reason: in this section you repeat, and cite some of the things mentioned in the 2nd paragraph of the lead. But you do not further analyze. But that is what the main article is supposed to do: build on the lead; not just repeat it.
 * IMO you should ger rid of this stubby "See also" section. Link what is there in the main prose, if you think these articles are useful.--Yannismarou 14:25, 3 February 2007 (UTC)

--ae86guy 1227 EST, 8 March 2008
 * Jack's son's name is Samuel Wyatt, not Samuel Jason


 * All points taken care of. Jack's son is Samuel Jason, and this is cited. Tenacious D Fan (talk) 09:15, 16 April 2008 (UTC)