Wikipedia:WikiProject Birds/Peer review/Ornithology

Ornithology
Please add review comments below. Shyamal (talk) 04:46, 30 November 2007 (UTC) Hi Shyamal: Here's my two cents: I'll add more bits as I get time! MeegsC | Talk 22:21, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
 * The lead is too short; it should be 2&mdash;3 paragraphs, briefly summarizing the major points of the article.
 * Try to eliminate as many of those one and two sentence paragraphs as possible. Can any be combined with existing information, or further expanded?
 * "...poultry farming and falconry were in practice..." --> "...poultry farming and falconry were practiced..."
 * You've used the phrase "very early times" twice within four sentences. Is it really necessary the second time, since you're also giving dates?
 * The sentence "Native cultures in all parts of the world included rich vocabularies for the identification uses of birds" is very unclear. What are "identification uses"?
 * Thanks for these. Have tried to make a few amends. Shyamal (talk) 02:40, 13 December 2007 (UTC)